Em nóng lòng chờ anh về lắm. Khi ở xa nhau, mỗi khi anh gặp trục trặc gì đó mà em không giúp được, em lại tức quá. Nếu em ở đó thì mọi chuyện đã xong. Em đã đi deal với chủ nhà giúp anh. Đã túm đầu con điên dở hơi kia bắt nó thuê hoặc kiếm đứa khác thay. Đã đi bán cái xe, cái máy cho xong. Đã ôm anh lúc ba mẹ anh càm ràm, sẽ nằm ôm chân để ba mẹ anh không thấy em. Nhưng mà em không làm được gì, vì em không biết cái gì.
Không giúp được người em yêu là chuyện thiệt khó chịu, chắc phải khó chịu số một.
Khi anh về đây, tụi mình sẽ giải quyết mọi thứ cùng nhau hen.
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Đây là thư Minh gửi em lúc em khóc rồi ngủ quên mất. Em phải copy ra đây, mất công thất lạc máy thì còn có đường tìm.
(hong bắt lỗi chính tả đâu :< )
OPEN THIS NOT WHEN YOU ARE AWAKE
You are not alone. You have me. Of course, those friends will come and go, but I devoted myself to you. I listened to your pain, I absorbed your pain, I provide you love. That’s what I want to do. That’s why I frown when you sad, that’s why I look awful when you are being unreasonable. I never choose to abandon you. Never was, never is, and never will.
I know you don’t like your job right now, and you probably feel like shit and useless, but think back when I told you about the story of the two buddhas. Think about the time you felt like shit at Ipsos. I know you still sad about not going to study oversea, and you probably think it definitely has more chances, but it’s not baby. That time was over. Now, life over here is hard, it costly, unfair, and people treat us like we owe them shit, even though we paid to study their skills and they still want us to pay to even work for experience. You may love English, you may find better friends, but you won’t find yourself again in the States because it’s not your home, you’ll always feel like a stranger in this country.
But right now it’s not like we will never get the chance to study oversea again. At least you had a job, you had potential, that’s why they need you to work with them. You are better than a lot of people baby. You are really good. You’ll go, but not right now. Best part is, that time, you have the ability to choose, to pay for your own education, to owe nobody, and you will be free to do what you want.
So what if plans does not go as you plan? No big deal, you are in charge of your life, if you want to go for grad school, then make a plan and save up for that. Thua Kèo này ta bày kèo khác. You have me all the time, you could come to me all the time, we will work it out. I love you and always love you, if no one turn to you, then you could turn to me. I am your best friend, your lover, your brother, your best gay friend who only gay for you, and I do not abandon you.
I am not gonna lie, I want to stay in Vietnam because I don’t want to lose you, because I love you. I have tried to find ways to get a job, to be valuable, to become a good person, and to prepare to love you. I fought for it, I turned down opportunities because I believe that I could be around you and love you, make you feel great about yourself. I believe about our future, no matter how hard that is, we will storm through, and we will achieve great things, either by individual or together. Do you trust me too?
Just like everytime I cried, you said the same thing to me. You helped me, now let me help you. I am coming home with you soon. We’ll figure it out. I love you with all my heart baby.
Em khóc xong, sáng hôm sau dậy quên sạch, đi rất là hăng, đến tối về mở ra mới thấy thương anh. Chắc em khóc anh cũng khó chịu lắm, nhưng mà mấy ngày nữa thôi, là lúc nào khó chịu tụi mình có thể chạy qua gặp nhau rồi, dễ ẹc.
