Telling children that you won’t get mad if they tell the truth and then getting mad about it will turn them into massive liars in the future

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@myobsessivedevotion
Telling children that you won’t get mad if they tell the truth and then getting mad about it will turn them into massive liars in the future
Wake me up with cuddles and an orgasm.
Air conditioning is just domesticated wind
Somewhere out there there’s a kid whose uncle works at Nintendo and nobody believes him.
“But I must admit I miss you quite terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby. I go to bed early and rise late and feel as if I have hardly slept.”
— Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters
Watermelon is just crunchy juice
“It’s rare to meet someone with a mind just as beautiful as their face.”
god damn why are you so hot
I’m about as hot as lukewarm tea
that youve already reheated twice and keep forgetting
You also left the bag in
So maybe I am hot. But I’m also extremely bitter.
…….are you alright
mhmm mood
hmu if u wanna stroke my hair and rub my back and genuinely care about my well being
Paying rent is a monthly subscription to not being homeless.
moan directly into my mouth actually
me: wants to play multiple instruments, create art, speak multiple languages, etc.
me: lays on the floor face down for an hour instead
just bought pillows for my sofa, am I a domestic goddess yet??
Heck yeah.
someone should wife me up tbh (so i can decorate the house and they can do the dishes i leave sitting in my sink for more than a month)
if ur gonna date me u gotta be comfortable with a lot of casual silence bc i just never fucking talk
I swing wildly between never shutting the hell up and turning into a stump