PnTCC

i'm working on myself. blog for updates.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

Today was fine?

Woke up (early, by noise), played bingo. Played a different game. Got called into the currently vacant master bedroom for everyone to ration snacks for the weekend, scored a bag of Cheeto Puffs and Gushers. Farted around on my laptop. Took a bath, got nauseous because I submerged myself while hungry and the last thing I did before preparing the bath was look at the ex-canned chicken noodle soup with rice in it plus black pepper and rosemary and thought that it looked like the infant stage of many beetles and bugs and wigglies and squigglies. I have vermiphobia and I especially hate stubby things that writhe and squirm and gyrate and move toward me with a mindless hunger for infestation and disgustingness and general vomit inducing lifestyle. The thought makes me want to puke my organs out and tear my skin off to make sure there's none hiding.

I had dry cereal, cheetos, fruit-by-the-foot, fruit roll ups, 4 chocolate chip granola bars, and I was gonna have ramen before I bathed but I couldn't find a bowl and then immediately lost my stomach looking at what was on the counter.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

Little late, sorry!

I played so much bingo today. I discovered several new positions I could sit myself while reasonably keeping my laptop charging and making sure I don't cut off circulation in my right arm by laying on it. Of all that time spent bingo-ing, I got **1** bingo. It was in a blackout round.

In other news, my mom is away for the weekend and we have a shit ton of snacks (that probably won't last between the four of us hungry hungry people). At one point when the groceries were delivered I got up because I had a Notion and opened the back door to look outside and check. I didn't see anything, so I turned around to talk to my dog, and I was kinda baby-talking her when I turn back around to see what she's looking at through the screen door and one of the delivery guys is right there. I jumped, I had not heard either of them and they startled me. I think I apologized, but I'm really awkward and it was probably just a muffled "you scared me" through bug-safe glass and netting. I'm not sure he accepted the apology, which is fair.

I had dry cereal (before groceries), a pack of zebra cakes, and a baggie of Fun-Yuns. I originally wanted some Cheetos because I don't usually have them, but I couldn't find them in the snack bag so I had to settle. For dinner we had a frozen pizza.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

Are you afraid of a massive all-knowing AI supercomputer, or are you afraid of the entirety of humanity being judged from an unbiased clinical standpoint and coming to the conclusion that we as a species are more trouble than we're worth and should be eliminated for the good of the world?

A thought that occurred to me while spending two hours playing bingo.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

My phone is being kinder. Not perfect, but not actively killing itself as fast.

Today, I didn't do much. Watched a lot of YouTube, played some games, and finished The Big Short with my mother. I'm jacked to the tits. I also made some art for a Minecraft ARG idea I have. Most likely won't make it ever, but I like the idea.

psst if anyone is interested in hearing about the idea slash seeing the bust send me an ask or comment and i'll post pretty please

I was supposed to go to class today, but I couldn't trust my phone not to die forever while out in 97 degree weather so I stayed home.

I ate cereal, a nutrition shake, and ramen.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

Super quick, phone actively self destructing.

Played Mario Kart with my family.

Ate cereal. Will eat pasta.

Phone now dies even when on charger. Trying to move stuff to spare, slow phone.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

Same old, plus sweat.

Today I farted around in bed and had a really weird dream where one of my brothers was standing exactly where a tornado formed. Then we went to a children's center that is oddly recurring and I kept crinkling food bags while us in a big group were doing group reading. Then my mom built an amusement park on top of our house and was hunting me down (a very repetitive theme). Then Mr. Peanutbutter from Bojack Horseman kept getting tricked into entering one of the improv rooms from the children's center (which was for some reason located where the front door of my house was supposed to be) and... I don't want to continue. Weird shit.

I watched a lot of YouTube today. I also sat on the porch for 50 minutes waiting for my little brother's bus to arrive, and there was a sweat stain on the wood where I was laying down. You could see my shoulder blades and my head.

I had a dry bowl of cereal (we're out of milk), a miniature microwave pizza, and a bowl of ramen just now.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

Today was fine.

I got up early and went to therapy (we didn't get donuts after, sad). Watched a few episodes of Cinderella Grey, played some Roblox.

I ate a bowl of cereal, popcorn, pizza rolls, and chicken alfredo + garlic bread.

Just a passing, not much thought kind of day.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

Bit late, but better late than never.

Today was okay.

I went to the weekly meeting, got extremely self conscious and stayed in the sound proof room the whole time, then came home and had a bath. I started watching the RyGos movie about Wall Street (I forget the name) with my mom, but we had to pause in the middle so we could both get up in time tomorrow. I have therapy tomorrow morning.

I had a bowl of cereal, a bag of funyuns, two cupcakes, a bag of cheetos, half a bag of cheezits, and finally a nutrition shake.

My phone has started dropping drastically in battery if it's not plugged in constantly. I don't think battery saver mode helps.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

Today sucked.

I was having a good morning calling my family when I checked my notifications (I was on DND) and saw that the reason I'm even doing all this had apparently unblocked me and sent a friend request.

Discord decided to play a nasty, mean, horrible trick on me however and when I opened the app, I was still blocked and nothing had been sent. I know she wouldn't taunt me, she hates being mean, she would never do that. Whatever bug in the app caused this needs to be fixed immediately because this is just cruel of it.

Anyway, that sent me into a spiral all day and I've been feeling like absolute flaming garbage laced with shit.

I ate a bowl of cereal and two soft tacos.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

Today was... a doozy, I suppose.

I had a lot of aggravations, including but not limited to:

~ My phone (on its last legs) dying and taking 5 hours to reach 11% and power back on

~ My laptop charger's international adapter acting up and not going into the socket all the way, while also pushing itself into itself and only registering a charge for a single moment until I spend fifteen minutes bruising my thumb and reaching my arm down under my bed negotiating with my own devices

~ My brothers eating the portion of pizza rolls reserved for me

I ate dry cereal and a few pizza rolls I made myself that tasted weird so I set them down and they're room temperature so I don't really want to eat them anymore.

I'm in such a sour mood.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

I need to take a bath, I am soaked in sweat.

Today, I woke up early to get dropped off at my local literacy counsel for GED prep. I took the bus home and had to walk in 96 degree weather, so you can imagine how hot and tired I was getting home. I was given cash to get a cold soda at the bus station, though.

I ate six chicken mcnuggets, a baggie of dry cereal, a root beer, and chicken tikka masala for dinner. I'll probably have something later because I didn't eat too much dinner.

Some things happened, but they're family sensitive and I don't even know half the story. I drew today, a full digital piece, and in my class one of the teachers noticed I was drawing a dragon in my spare notebook.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

I've been posting at midnight so I'm gonna schedule this for midday tomorrow, to log as what will be yesterday. The counter will still say 18 when I next log.

Today, I did a majority of the dishes, and mostly laid around scrolling.

I had dry cereal, and then McDonald's was ordered for the house and I had nuggets with ranch.

Tomorrow I have to get up even earlier than usual because my ride has a doctors appointment and won't be able to swoop back around to bring me and my brother to our class in time, so we're leaving early. It's gonna be hot as all hell when we get out, and we'll have to take the bus home. I don't like the bus.

Another meh day.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

GAH. I'M LATE AGAIN.

Today, I still didn't do much. Did some online lessons, played some games, and took a nap.

I had dry cereal all day, but then pizza was ordered for the house and I might've had some...

Not a bad day, but not particularly good. Just kinda eh.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

I do appreciate the one follower I have. Hi, Lytle.

I hadn't started this blog to be known or famous - I am trying to not focus on external validation via social media - but it's nice that someone is paying attention and seeing this. I might make a sideblog for art so I don't clutter this one.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

(OC Art) Don't you hate when you're trying to climb the social ladder in the new stupid school for fairytales and the hero of the story you're from thinks you're his best friend?

Some things about them, Dostoinstvo mostly, under the cut.

Dostoinstvo translates to Virtue, so he chooses to go by Virtue for people who might get it wrong.

In Virtue's family/clan, showing your hair is seen as somewhat sacrilegious/extremely inappropriate. His hair is only to be seen in certain moments with the person he chooses to spend the rest of his life with. (This originally started because they used to live in the high mountains and it was necessary for survival to be as covered as possible. His family quickly established themselves as the holders of power, trading the best furs, having the money to make more elaborate and expensive clothing, and so on and so forth. It's one of many odd traditions that they take pride in because "if we can hold ourselves to such high standards and expectations that other people can't, we MUST be better".)

Virtue and Pasha are students of Ever After High. They're loosely based on the Russian mythology of The Three Bogatyrs- specifically, the story portrayed in the 2006 release of "Dobrynya And The Dragon". However, while this is the original inspiration, I have modified the specific story in this context both to fit Virtue into the story and make their stories being intertwined make sense. The story they hail from in OC canon is now called "The Messenger's Tale". Yelisey becomes the hero and main protagonist, Zabava is still kidnapped but alongside her, one of the evil attendants of the king is also taken. Zabava and Yelisey do not get together, and the evil attendant comes to the good side when the plan for his family (Virtue's family) to take over the kingdom is discovered and Yelisey shows him mercy, offering a second chance. The evil attendant is named Paporotnik, which means fern. ***Please god correct me on anything I'm getting culturally wrong or insensitive or just being disrespectful. I am not Russian.***

Pasha is named Pasha because in his story, the messenger Yelisey is some random weak little guy who ends up finding what it really means to be a hero. I lowkey picked a random common Russian name that sounded right.

Pasha's last name is undecided, but I have made Virtue's last name Stashov.

Here's a silly thing I sent to my friends describing their relationship dynamic mid-character arcs. Virtue really does think he's gonna overthrow a kingdom. While tidying up their room and sorting Pasha's fake (training) sword collection.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

Sorry I'm late. Today wasn't great.

I still feel horrible and I haven't been able to get things done at all.

I had soup today. That's all.

[myonegoodideaistaken]

The illness is back.

I had a bowl of cereal, two sandwiches, and four tiny snack bags.

I played two games I like that updated, went to the weekly meeting, and then promptly had to run to the bathroom upon being dropped off at home. Didn't puke, but I was shaking and weak in the car.

I think I'll take tomorrow easy, and talk about my diet with a trusted source.

I started thinking badly about myself in the car on the way home, about what makes a good person and if just because I'm trying to be good and better really makes me an actual good person or just a bad person pretending to be good. I'll never be able to erase my past, but I know that even if I didn't directly (or purposely) harm someone, I still put stuff out there that most likely reached someone and put them on the same bad path. I perpetuated that cycle, and someone else is suffering because of it.