#habit breaking

[bieshu]

whoever said physical sticker reward sheets don’t work is dead wrong cuz i’ll be damned i’m almost at my first full 24 hours of not picking at my skin in forever!!

my bf made me a reward chart and has been checking in/keeping me accountable this whole time 💜💜

[myonegoodideaistaken]

I had a good day today.

Today, I had cereal, two sandwiches, two small slices of frozen pizza, and some apple slices.

I joined a Skyrim RP MMO, and I'm currently trying to track down this guy supposedly in Riften so I can see if I can join his troupe. I formatted a song into Skyrim terms just for this, I just have to get back into singing.

[kollector-of-stims]

I just wanna say that I've finally been able to hold back on biting my nails!! After so many years!!

I started to notice that, specifically after I fell so in love with my nee doh nice cubes, my nails began to become more noticable as I was more focused on the nice cubes over biting!!

I've never had "nails" that I could ever remember cause my nail biting habit is so bad, and ever since I noticed them growing while stimming, I've tried hard to see how long I can let them get! Thanks to these nice cubes and honestly sugar-ball-esque stim toys in general, I can experience having nails! I'm so glad I finally found a type of stim toy that's helping distract me from a habit!!

If youd look at basically any post before this one where my fingers are shown, I have nothing, no semblance of nails. But maybe I'll be able to make some gifs including them! (If I dont get back into the habit first- I admit I'm still not used to the potential to accidentally scratch myself yet lol-)

[lennyslung]

Week one, May write up:

The two (three(?)) test days were a success, already I am surprised by just how much time is in a day, it fills me with excitement.

Twenty-eighth was kind to me, made it easy really, I had grown quite tired of hiding away so much. I wrote and refined my ideas while sand was shed.

Twenty-ninth wrapped me in all the beauty I have been waiting for, I made a lot of marks on paper, and finished forming those ideas, I think that my feet are firmly planted this time, I actually see what I want to do, I see what can be done and how I want it to be done, that piece was missing before.

Thirtieth was nice and calm, it started off a little confusing, but I decided to return to some old games, funny enough the storyline mirrored my journey a bit, something I didn't pick-up on previously while playing this game. I was also given the understanding for what music, games, books, etc. are for, which feels quite silly now, but I could only ever use music to hide away, and so I am happy to know that I will not have to leave the music behind.

As for today, it has been quite lovely, I've returned to the paper, leaving marks again, I am also keeping track of these things as it will be watchable soon.

I just feel so very excited, I wish I had done this much sooner (successfully), but it is better now than further away or never.

Anyway, I have decided to return here, to Tumblr, I think it will be a great room for the home I'm building, it's perfect for these things - it's funny how I couldn't see a purpose for any of this before, that's what cloudy eyes will do to you.

I will leave a little snippet of the marks:

Forward, I hope that you are well, be kind to yourself.

Until next time,

- [#]

[love-from-middle-earth]

Breaking a bad habit is a HUGE challenge. If you’ve decided to try and stop something you’ve been doing for a long time, you’ve been incredibly brave and strong. But even with all your inner fortitude, it’s still probably going to take a while to stop that habit. And that’s okay! Not immediately seeing results doesn’t mean that you’re weak or anything like that. Imagine a road crew tearing up some old, cracked asphalt--there are a ton of them, and even so, it takes rather a long time as well as some pretty heavy-duty construction tools to clear a whole street. In trying to stop a bad habit, you have taken on the work of a road crew--you are tearing up something you built, in order to make something better. Except you’re doing it by yourself, without any of those fancy-schmancy jackhammers and stuff! So if you are struggling to break that habit, just give yourself a hug and remember that there’s always tomorrow. You can do this, but you’ll do it at your own pace, and that’s totally fine.

Best regards,

Gandalf 

[megadoob]

Looking for coping mechanism suggestions!

I have pretty severe anxiety, and one of the ways I deal with it is by picking my skin. Face, arms, shoulders, chest, anything. It's more of a compulsion than a conscious activity, but as a result my skin has always been terrible and something I'm horribly self conscious about. Does anyone have any suggestions for different ways to channel my anxiety to stop skin picking so much? I'd love to feel like I have pretty skin for once and I'd LOVE to stop destroying it all day every day. Thanks in advance!

[queengreendown]

Blood and Bone and the Freedom of Ugliness

I have to treat my body better emotionally and physically, but I also acknowledge its right to look however it's gonna look. My body isn't obligated to look a certain way. My body is not anyone else's property. It's allowed to be shaped by its experiences without the threat of humiliation. I need to respect that and, at the same time, learn what healthiness feels like within my particular structure. This is less about presentation and more about authenticity. Answering to my muscles, my aches, my heaviness--this skin is not a fictional place. I have to stop insulting my body's intelligence by disregarding the consequences of my choices.