The Beginning of the End
This is the trophy that sealed the deal for me and Science in the Third Grade. After I dug it out of my old room at my Mom's house I realized that it was for the "Social Science" fair but I didn't know the difference back then. OK, I'll be honest; I didn't know the difference until sometime in college when the "real" science majors started making fun of the "social science" majors (AKA those people who slept and ate and had fun).
The important thing about this trophy is that it was the first time I realized that I was smart. Before that, I never thought about being smart of about whether or not I was so. I didn't even look at my Report Cards or know what they meant in Kindergarten or First Grade. I remember by second grade, I knew enough to know that I wanted the As and the Es and I knew that I generally knew the answers to the questions. I wouldn't say I excelled, or, if I did, no one bothered to tell me so.
So this trophy was the first time something I did was singled out for Excellence. And it was in (Social) Science, by far my favorite subject at the time. And it came at a time in my life where I needed that encouragement the most. My brother and I, along with my Aunt and Cousin, had just moved to Atlanta from Syracuse. My mom had stayed behind to prepare for a move to Saskatchewan where we were supposed to follow her after the school year. Syracuse to Atlanta was culture shock to say the least. We left our culturally diverse neighborhood and school and landed in a shockingly monochromatic landscape. The fact that the other kids were the same race as myself made no difference, I did not fit in and everyone knew it. In fact, I stumbled upon a facebook page a few years ago where former students of that school were reminiscing about the times there and I saw several mentions of how weird and awkward I was 20 years later, even though I was only there for one year.
Needless to say, I was not very happy, but thankfully I managed to make a few friends and had a teacher who took an interest in me so I had a strong desire to do well. To this day I do not remember anything about that science except for the title, "Endangered Animals, How Can we Save Them?" and that it featured my text on yellow printer paper attached to a bright green poster board. I did not expect to win in the least. I think I didn't even know it was a contest until they called my name and handed me a trophy. But I do remember that I ran home with my trophy and proudly burst into the house to show it to my Aunt, and my grandmother who had come down unexpectedly that afternoon. I do remember that, from then on I knew that I was smart and that I could excel. And so I wanted to excel at everything. I wanted to win all of the trophies and ribbons and certificates. I can't say that I always did, though I've succeeded more than I've failed. But the knowledge that I can has driven me since that day.
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