my untold story

through it all from start to finish my thoughts . my dreams . my hopes . my fears.

[myunimaginablestory]

life has been flying by without a minute to take a breath

since the last time i wrote here a guess a lot has happened ... its been basically a year since i last wrote about my life.

its 2016 now which is crazy i feel like time is just flying by, im in second year of university and it is crazy hard like nothing i have ever done before. its a crazy ride and really even though its hard i still enjoy what im doing. school itself is hard and there’s lots to do in a short amount of time. at the same time i am with some great people. i must say i dont have many friends i talk to a lot of people but when it comes to people i can say know me and are genuinely my friends i have one.. which kind of sucks... and i have no girl friends the girls arent too friendly or they just aint social lol... so thats pretty much school front... its hard and fast and it will fly by lool

as for the rest of my life my family has been doing well .. everyone still alive and healthy. my mom is having surgery this week and will be out of commission for a few weeks. nothing to worry about its just a simple procedure but still i dont want any of my fam in the hospital.. so for the next little while ill be helping her out with whatever she needs.

things with my brother are more or less normal, in our case, normal. We speak on a need to basis really, he doesnt have much to do with me and to be honest were both so old now that if he doesnt care to have a relationship or think what we have is fine then there is nothing i can do about that and i just have to accept that thats how we are going to be. i know i can never depend on him for anything or assume hell do anything for me or really look out for me.... sucks huh... sad part is he knows ill always be there for him and i couldnt say the same for me...

on a happier note, my love life is still going strong, we are still together a year and 3 months and counting lol i have really gotten to know the man im with. he is such a genuine person, he wouldnt hurt a fly. he looks out for me he cares for me hes everything i want. right now our relationship is going through a test he got an intership about four hours away from me so we live far from each other now... its not awful but its temporary, only eight months. but in that timer we only see each other on the weekends he comes down to visit. and other than tht its face time which im starting to hate. i know if we can get through this we can get through anything together and id know him and i are in the long run.

[myunimaginablestory]

a lot happened in a little time

so i have only written about the good times that have been going on in my life right now which is great but my life hasnt been all rainbows and love. actually the past year was hard for me... especially when it came to the loss of a loved one. from pretty much October to February the only time i really saw my family was at funerals ... pretty much aside from Christmas no one was meeting at a happy occasion. and even Christmas sort of just went this year.  in those few months i had lost two uncles and my grandfather, my only grandfather. it was a tough time because he was sick and just as we thought he was getting better he went. and it was the hardest thing ive ever had to endure. in that time i witness family members cry and breakdown in front of me and i had nothing to do that could help them. my grandmother was a sister and the mother of the uncles that passed and the wife of my grandpa... she got hit worst of all... she had to sit there and watch as the people she holds most dear be ripped from her life. it was heartbreaking to see what she had to go through, and is still going through. 

through all this it just made me realise that you really have to cherish and love the people in your life now, dont wait to call them dont wait to see them do it while you can. you honestly dont know when you or the people around you are gonna go.  

To those i have lost.... i miss you all greatly, and I love you all. You will always be in my heart.

[myunimaginablestory]

my first valentines day

so this year i was finally able to spend  a valentines day with a loved one. well.. almost. my boyfriend and his family went away for vday so we had to celebrate it a bit early. so this is how my dream date went

i left school to meet him in my area, i had to get all dolled up since i didnt know where we were going, all he said was dress nice and warm ... they dont go together well... lol

so we met and he greeted me with opening my car door and coming with a bouquet of roses. i must say he wanted to get me peonies (my favourite) but in february you have to import them and that could run you like 200 bucks.. so roses it was. perfect nevertheless. then he proceeds to opening his car door where there was my favourite chocolates on the seat and our teddy toothless siiting there . when i picked him up he was wearing a beautiful necklace that he had bought for me. so i get in the car and we were on our way. we ened up at the civic center and he told me we were skating, at first i was like well i dont have skates... but him being perfect managed to find me skates in my size and everything! so we get on the ice and his best friend was working there that day and hes outside too. just as we start skating the pa system comes on and Yo by chris brown starts to play, it was our song and he got them to play it outside while we skated.. ohhh we were also like the only ones on the rink so it was like a friggen movie where we were skating and our song just happens to start playing ... it was perfect i wanted to cry.. lol... then after lazy love and angel came on. so he got all my favourite songs to play. it was freezing outside but i could have stayed out there all night with him. once we where done he told me we had to go and we left, he drove to Moulin Rouge for dinner which is a fancy dinner restaurant in the area. and we had a beautiful dinner. he got me more chocolate and a cute picture frame with a collage of our pictures. it was so cute. we then just chilled out for a bit. it was a perfect night. he put so much thought into it.

ive never had someone who cared so much about me and wanted to do special things for me hes honesty perfect. and even when we fight (which is rarely) we get through it like pros,

ohh so we also had sex, i must say its amazing like holy... but the firs time we did it it was perfect, it was the first time i dreamed of. we made love, not just fuck.. i mean now we get a bit of both but that time was passion you just cant fake. i mean it was perfect. and it was like we both looked at each other and knew we were in love.. and  now we get to do it on the regular which is awesome, cuz nothing relives stress like a good sex day. getting high with him and having sex is great to we both just go crazy and its perfect.

anyways,.. things are going great, school is going good boyfriend is going good everything is good.

im the happiest ive ever been ...

[myunimaginablestory]

a new beginning

as comes with university comes new boys, and in this case i think i found a keeper! 

we met through a cousin (they're actually best friends) but met at school. after a birthday party him and i started talking and hanging out and one thing lead to another and well.. November 8th, 2014 is our little anniversary. 

a little background on him:

age: 21

height: slightly taller than me (not by much) 

background: Filipino... though he really doesn't look like it 

program : radiation science

eyes: dreamy ...lol no brown... 

favorite colour: red

sports: golf and ball

so either way we started seeing eachother around the time of halloween and really havent stopped since. hes a really good guy, hes got his shit figured out and knows what he wants. he also is willing to work for what he wants.he is such a sweetheart, he is a complete gentleman and so old school i love it.

official first date was to a pho reastuarant and he took me to a dessert place called Mirage. hes also the first guy to buy me roses and they were beautiful! 

second date was a spacial surprises date downtown where we went to ripleys aquarium and went to red lobster for dinner 

he is also awesome at buying gifts, he knows exactly what i love, the man can read me like a book. 

hes honestly what i have been searching for and he showed up without me looking. he just popped into my life and became the man of my dreams. everything that i have written before about the kind of man i want, he is and so much more. he makes me happy like no other has, and he loves me with all his heart and i love him more than words can explain. yes its only been like four months but we see each other so much and we've been through a lot over those four months. he has shown me what love really is and what caring for someone really means. i am so happy with him. He makes me forget that i was ever hurt and heart broken. He makes me forget that there are assholes in the world and there are people who will do you wrong. hes there to protect me when i need it, there to wipe away the tears when im sad, there to make me smile each and every day. i can definitely see a future with him...and a happy one at that. 

everything is great with him.. we just celebrated valentines day and it was perfect! but that's a story for another day! 

[myunimaginablestory]

Little over due...

so basically engineering is everything that people say it is... it is hard, tiring and definitely not for everyone... but i am loving every minute of it.. it has been the hardest five months of my life, but i love what i am doing and i couldnt see myself doing anything else. as for first semester, i did surprisingly better than i thought. I ended up with a 2.94 average and managing to get an A- in Physics. so yay me. so far first year has taught me: 

* men are still whores... but not all...

* university is no joke... its hard

* procrastination is your worst enemy 

* practice does make perfect

* sleep is precious 

* time management is a great skill to have... the earlier you figure that out the better you'll be

* Captain Morgan is not my friend

but ya... so far uni is great! and crazy thing is im almost done first year! i have about a month and a half left of school and im done for four months! 

[myunimaginablestory]

Uni Life Begins

so its september again and that means that school starts again, fortunately this september i get to start university and have a brand new experience to look forward to. ive started my four to five year engineering program here at uoit and its pretty good so far. ive made some pretty cool friends, all guys tho.. no girlfriends yet lol but the guys are awesome i love em already. and i have like every class with them so its pretty good. as for work its not super hectic yet but i can definitely see it coming soon :/  i did meet one cutie and we actually chill a lot and do homework sometimes so maybe there could be a potential thing there.. who knows lol but as for right now its focus on school and making friends, boys can come later in life lool ohh i actually started working out which is pretty good, figuring out the gym is pretty fun, but ya so far so good! will keep posting soon!

[myunimaginablestory]

Cancun 2014

so I just got back from sunny cancun! spent a wonderful week on the beach in the pool and lovin the drinks! basically got super dark and cant wear makeup anymore but it was worth it! we stayed at the riu ofc! it was just as nice as the riu in costa rica. it was me my bro and my parents and oddly enough me and my brother actually got along and spent time with each other ... i guess cuz we weren't stuck completely together

but basically our week went of drinks and pool and beach during the day. the beach was so beautiful and there was a dock you culd jump off and it was just perfect and amazing! and drinks and pool slash room party at night so a pretty fun schedule we spent basically all day with the people we met and happily not much time with the parents.. ohh we went clubbing one night at a place called coco bongo and basically got way too smashed and threw up butttt still a fun night! 

our excursion on the trip was to a Mayan village and a mayan temple. we got to climb up the temple which was pretty sick the view was amazingggg even tho mom didnt do it :P

i got in trouble a lot, even for shit i wasnt even doing wrong. well basically i was the best ive ever been on a trip and still got into trouble  like i was actually such a good girl! no boys on this trip for me i was single and happy and having fun with people not just trying to get some :P 

just to keep this short and what not i loved this trip it was a lot of fun and i definitely would go back in a heart beat. it is for sure on the list for top vacations! 

[myunimaginablestory]

first job!

I got my first job today! I am officially working at L'attitudes salon in the mall! im basically the house bitch but I do get to do a few clients hair washes here and there :) it should be fun and a lot of work

[myunimaginablestory]

so massive post about everything that has happened in the last few months

well ya, its been a while since I have posted about my life. but after everything with the break up life just got busy and I had a lot of shit to do. but as for the break up it officially took two months to get over my ass hole, and even though I tried soo hard to avoid the rebound hook up I still fell into that, I don't regret it, I kinda got what I wanted :P and after that I was officially over it so I feel good and im glad that part of my life Is over, I learned every possible lesson a guy could teach me all in one but hey I take that as a plus then I get all of it at once. so all in all I feel good and starting a new chapter in my life.

so as for recent events, I went to prom, and let me just say I looked like Cinderella and turned into a pumpkin at the strike of ten. but ya I looked perfect in my dress and my hair and let me just say my makeup was on point! I am actually getting really good at makeup. anyways, the night started out fun with us getting ready and taking our limo ride up to prom, dinner was okay the food was meh but tell me how there were 33 tables at prom and mine was right next to his and he was sitting next to ..her... so that wasnt fun but didn't ruin my night until she saw me having fun with my friends and decided to let me know that my boyfriend had been having doubts about me and our relationship a month before he ended things.. a month! and if you do the math a month before we broke up he decided to tell me loves me and we had sex so even though he was doubting his feelings he decided to take the biggest step a relationship can! but yes she decided prom was the perfect time to tell me this. so basically I walked away from her and burst into tears because I found out that my boyfriend never loved me and lied to me and played me soooo I broke down at prom and basically left prom balling my eyes out.... so that was funn.... but it will be a prom I will never forget

after prom I basically never spoke or looked at either of them again, they are dead to me...

next up is exams, those were hectic but I made it though! which was the best feeling till I realized I got a 54 on my physics exam which was actually good compared to everyone else's marks (our teacher was awful)

after that was grad! and basically we were in a hot gym for three hours boiling our asses off! but on the plus side I won an award for photography! I was so surprised! but it made my day! I was definitely proud of myself, like after everything I have been through this year I was happy that none of that bull shit brought me down, i am so gld high scholl is done and im done with everyone and fake bitched and assholes and I really did discover who my real friends are. I fulfilled my dreams and am excited and ready for the next stage of my life!

but anywhoo another post will be up soon!

[myunimaginablestory]

..and they lived not so happily after

  so my love story has come to an end.

around this time two weeks ago I was crying my eyes out because my first love had dumped my ass.

the story begins about 12 hours before that on a Saturday after noon. we had recently gotten over a minor dispute earlier in the week and everything was fine. it was a prefect day outside so we decided to hang out. ofc our dates consist of going to walmart and buying random things. lol so we did just that and at the end of we kind of got a little heated if you know what I mean ;) things were great we were our normal selves hanging out and getting it on. so after our date and having sex I get a text message, i repeat, a TEXT message at around 11 that night saying that he needs some time apart, he needs some space and a break from a relationship.. he said he needed some time to focus on school and figure his shit out. he didn't think a relationship was the right thing at this time of his life so he needed to end things. at the time all I could think was wow this ass fucked me then dumped me. and up to today that's still wht I remember. but ya I was pissed beyond belief cuz I couldn't believe that the guy who claims he loved me could send me a text message after having sex with me to end things. I could have understood if he broke up with me that day when we hung out and explained everything and how he was feeling or called me that night but no, he decied to be a coward and text it. so I did call his ass later that night nd cussed him out, cuz like I said I was pissed and as we already know I have a slight issue with guys using me then leaving me. so ya he literally picked the worst way he could break up with someone ... and after all the cussing came the tears, and they did not stop for days. it was easter weekend so I was literally crying from Saturday nigh to Tuesday morning. at school I demanded the breakup I deserved and talked him  and go all the answers i need. I had to know if he thought his life was better off without me in it. and he said it. and if anyone can say theyre better off without me then well I cant fight for them anymore. and let me say this. I was the best girlfriend a guy could ask for, I did everything I could and more for him and was always by his side, I was there when he needed me in a heart beat and without a question. we fought once in five months and was still able to talk it out like mature people.

I cant say that this ending was at all my fault. I gave him everything and asked for nothing in return. and if that wasn't good enough for him, well fuck him. he was immature, couldn't think about the future, went with first instinct and acted on impulse. he never had his shit together and now hes taking a victory lap because of it. I tried to help him, but really u cant help someone who doesn't want to change. and honestly I don't want to have to constantly take care of my significant other. I mean I will always take care of the people I love but not like always on top of their shit ya know?

I want a man, not a boy. I want someone who can balance their life and someone else in it. I want someone who is willing to put me first when time comes to it. he needs to have ambition and want to be the greatest him he can be. he doesn't have to be perfect I don't want that, I want him to be willing to make mistakes and grow and learn from each time he falls down and once he gets back up everything with work out. I want someone who wont give up when shit gets real and just walk away from me. I need someone I can count on to have my back.

I will not settle for any less, because I know I will put in the work and I deserve someone who will do the same.

so for now, I am heart broken girl with some wonderful trust and intimacy issues. I have no faith in guys and I haven't shaved my legs in two weeks. I have been strong through all of this and I will be strong. time heals all wounds and this one will take some time to heal.

they say every heatbreak is one step closer to the one who keeps your heart whole... so ill take this as a win :P

so now I found out he never really loved me and his heart was always with this other girl. other girl meaning my ex best friend who defriended me to basically get on him. he left me for her. he used me to get it in. im sure he liked me in the beginning and loved having someone actually care for him, but for some reason that wasn't enough and this girl was what he wanted and not me. and beacsue of the lack of balls he has he couldn't break up with me and say that he had to lie and use excuses to cover it up. and then I found out tht they kissed two weeks after me and him broke up.. so really he got over me quickly... or really, thre was nothing to get over... he also told her we had sex and she told everyone, even after I specifically told him not to for the exact reason.... sooo all this added up and I was furious, he crossed a line, and let me say I have been too nice for two damn long.. you want to know how bitches are born, ill tell u. u take a sweet girl who cares too much and u lie to her, u lie straight to her face and make her care for you and fall for you and just when u know u have her in the palm of your hand you throw her away, and just when u think you got away with it, she will find out your plan and snap. and a bitch is born. now that is what happened to me I found all of this out and snaped and what does a bitch do when she snaps? she will leave her hand print on your face. an that is exactly what I did to him. I called him out on his bull shit and bitch slapped all the anger out of me. it felt great! he deserved it all! and I felt like a fuckin bad ass bitch after! lol 

so ya now to sum this awful story up.... fell for a slut, I cared fell in love, he lied, said he loved me, actually loves my ex best friend, I gave him everying and was left with nothing. dumped my ass over text after banging me one last time...got over me in less than two weeks... so really my first five month relationship fuckin sucked....

the only good thing is thing is that the sex was great. like really good, and the high sex was bomb! so really at least it wasn't a shitty relationship and a shitty first time. so im gonna take that one as a win! lol so I guess I fucked before I made love, but we'll get there some day!

I have to say I would never have gotten though this if it wasn't for my friends and family, my best friend took care of me like no one else, she kept me strong and stayed with me through everything, she was perfect and I love her for it. I really am blessed to have her as a friend. as for my fam my cousin was there for me too he is always the one to put me back together after some asshole breaks my heart. and this time was no different, he was there whn I needed him. hes honesty my brother hes always got my back.

to myself reading this some day in the future, im proud of you, u stayed strong through all of this and took it like a fuckin boss. you are going places and don't need anyone to hold you back. someone will find you and help you get to those places you want to go. and they will care for u just as much as u do for them. never underestimate what you are made of cuz ur one tough bitch. and yes I know time will get lonely and hard, but ull get through it. you always do.

  "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game

[myunimaginablestory]

first crush to first love

so I don't know if I have mentioned before that my boyfriend was my first crush in grade four, so we liked each other when we were little but obvi did nothing about it, now eight years later hes my boyfriend, whom I love, and who I lost my virginity to.

today was an unplanned blessing of a day, I ended up spending the whole day with him. I went to pick him up at his house in the morning for second period.. and we didn't make it back till third ;) , then left at the end of third and was supposed to come back for fifth but never made it back. we spent the whole day in his bed just doing our thing but this time it was different.. this time he told me he loves me. At first it was crazy to hear it and then it sunk in and I was able to say it back. he even teared up, I knew it had to be real like everything we were feeling at that moment. it was a perfect moment. let me just say that actually hearing those three words for the first time by an actual guy who truly loves me, not a drunk ass trying to get into my pants, or a creep trying to get me cuz he thinks im cute. but an actually decent human being who took the time to love me the way its supposed to be done. that's what makes it so easy to love him back.

so even though that moment couldn't get any better and we ended up going back to what we were "doing" and then it happened.. we did "IT" . it wasn't planned and it wasn't expected at all.. it just happened.. and I let it happen. I made love to the first guy I ever liked.. talk about picture perfect story! but ya it wasn't like I thought it would be. I mean it was great, hurt a bit but not anything I couldn't handle. it was enough for everything to still feel good. it was perfect. and I couldn't have imagined it being with anyone else. he has been nothing but good to me and I wanted to share his with him. im just a ball of smile and happiness right now. im in heaven. I finally found a guy I deserve and who deserves me.

i cant wait to do it again ;) (sorry i had to :P)

I love him, with all of me.

ps. we totally high fived after :P

[myunimaginablestory]

bahama breeze!

so march break came and past and I haven't written a thing about it! so my mom and I took a trip to Bahamas for a few days just to relax and catch some sun! it was so nice, we swam tanned and hung out! we even went to the atantis and did the crazy 40 foot drop water slide! it was hectic! but soo much fun! it was nice to get away from all my life craziness. i will update you on that in a bit, when I care to write it all down.

but to sum it up it was some nice sun, some good food and a lot of fun!

[myunimaginablestory]

Got into UFT

so I got one acceptance to UFT a few weeks ago and it was great I was so worried about not getting in and disappointing my parents but hey I got into the other program I wanted to go to.. I still have to hear from two but I really don't care if I get into those or not. im just proud of myself for doing that, on my own too.

now I just gotta make the decision of what I wanna go and do for the next four years of my life.. :D

[myunimaginablestory]

falling in love

so I think i've gotten there, I think im falling in love with him. He is just everything that i've looked for in a guy. hes the sweetest guy ever and I just cant get enough of him. hes always there for me and looking out for me and I have nothing bad to say about him. hes just the best thing that has happened to me, and im really falling hard for him.

ive been sick all weekend and didn't go to school today so he shows up at my doorstep with a bouquet of tulips just to make me feel a bit better. I have never gotten flowers before let alone a guy! so it was definitely the sweetest thing ever! ive honestly dreamed about one day a guy would surprise me at my door with flowers in his hand. and today that came true... I totally teared up.. not gonna lie... lol... but anyways.. I cant wait till I can tell him how I feel now <3 XOXO 

[myunimaginablestory]

loosing a friend

I recently realized how important I was to those in my life. as for one of my best friends I mean nothing to, because she decided to disown me as her friend. why you ask? well because I do not like her boyfriend, and not in that weird way, him and I used to be friends until he became an asshole and I stopped talking to him, and this was a while ago but it seems to be a big deal now, so either way she didn't like that and decided her boyfriend was more important than me and was like forget u I want nothing to do with u. it all started with a little fight me and her had, but I thought it was resolved, but she is the kind of person that will ignore you, talk behind your back, give you dirty looks and never tell you why shes actually mad at you. sounds fun right? now try actually solving the problem, you don't. let me explain a few of the reasons why shes mad at me, that I found out from other people, one her bf, two im too happy in the morning (like what the actual F****) and that I talk to one of my other friends more than her. let me tell you I am 17 not seven, this shit should not be a problem any more! but it is! so ya I did try and talk to her and even her bf to at least be civil with him but that didn't work, I just got shunned out. soooo im done. I am not begging for someone who can easily walk away from me like that. tbh I am hurt but that's just the way life is, you realize how people are and u either learn to accept them in your life or u life your life without them ... 

[myunimaginablestory]

Congratulations!

I got my first acceptance letter today! It was from UOIT which is the school I want to go to! So this is Very exciting and im super happy to hear from them this early! :D Cant wait to hear from the rest!

[myunimaginablestory]

The Future is Coming Fast

so its Uni season! where everybody is stressed and craz over applying to universities and collages! its crazy and its what everyone is talking about! so I hve applied to UOIT for Automotive Engineering, UFT for Mechanical Engineering and UTSC for Marketing Business.. UOIT is my top choice but I was told to keep my options open and work hard to do my best, which is what ill do cuz no matter what you want the best marks right? so ya either way I still gotta finish up some of that but its all good for now! all I gotta do is work hard and wait for acceptances.. ( or rejections) ...

Wish me luck!