My Very Own Fag

Hudson. 25. Genderqueer transboi. Brooklyn. Puberty part 2

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Kael T. Block and how "positive" stereotyping of trans men helps to enable rape denial

TRIGGERS: sexual assault and some serious rape apologism

I have an announcement to make. Actually, we should all be in the habit of talking about this every few months at least until a day comes when he is finally accountable, and until our communities do not harbor attitudes that enable this behavior.

Kael T. Block, the founder and photographer of the XX Boys project, is a serial rapist who fled the United States for France in order to avoid prosecution. Based on the information available online, he has sexually assaulted multiple women in the San Francisco Bay Area and at least one in Paris and probably more.

When the details of his behavior became public, all sorts of excuses went flying. He said the survivor is allowed to feel raped, but that doesn’t mean he raped her. His friends said he’s just a dominant who hasn’t mastered safewords, no big deal! Those silly girls are just jealous, mentally unstable, and attention-seeking! And, worst of all, hey, he’s a trans man, not like those other men!

Well thankfully, not everyone bought that. Do watch this video, it is amazing:

I would love to be able to read or see his entire talk, but it has never been made available.

XX Boys currently has 5,984 fans on Facebook. Unsurprisingly, anyone who mentions the fact that it’s run by a rapist has their comments deleted and is blocked from commenting the Wall. This isn’t even Roman Polanski - the guy takes pinup pictures of trans guys. That is all, and apparently he is so vital to the world that the people he has raped have been told to shut up for the good of “the community.”

Do not support this piece of shit, and do not support the transphobic idea that trans men are harmless, elfin dudes who cannot possibly take part in male domination and commit abuse or assault.

Oh and by the way, Lynee Breedlove of Tribe 8 is one of his staunchest defenders. Really. Let’s think before we celebrate queer “heroes” who so quickly go from writing songs about castrating rapists to defending and supporting fellow trans and “feminist” rapists.

More information, including survivor accounts here:

http://writingtoknow.blogspot.com/2007/11/sexual-predator-in-our-community.html

Commentary following the initial community reaction:

http://brownstargirl.blog.friendster.com/2006/08/lexs-statement/

French-language story about people standing up to Kael’s presence in queer/feminist space in Paris. Even machine-translated, this comment is awesome:

http://fitofpique.blogspot.com/2006/08/sexual-predators-in-queer-community.html?showComment=1251745349532#c2209112776235969960

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(Reblogged (again?) because I’d seen KTB’s work floating around my dashboard lately, and I just wanted to make sure y'all know just who and what you’re promoting)

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I made a thing. This is how i feel about gay marriage right now

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I swear to god i can feel my body hair growing. it’s all tingly. also my upper thighs have made some hairy progress. my italian/jewish side is coming out. 

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Work Conundrum

{TW: Rape, rapists}

I work at a tech company as a client administrator, which basically means tech support. I am in contact with a lot of different people from a lot of organizations. I also email with consultants that organizations hire to do things like redesign their website, etc.

For the past few weeks I  have been emailing with a very difficult and stubborn consultant. I offered to call them to explain to them why their request would make things difficult for the organization.

I decided to google the person’s name because I wanted to know what their preferred gender pronouns were before calling. The first two search results were “[Consultant’s Name] Raped Me. This is My Story.” and “[Consultant’s Name] Sexually Assaulted Me Too.” (I am concealing his name to protect my job’s anonymity, not the man’s)

This consultant’s name is not common and I was able to confirm via his LinkedIn page that the blog posts were about the person I was talking to. Now I really really don’t want to talk to this man. I don’t care if he hasn’t been formally charged. I believe guilty until proven innocent when it comes to sexual assault. 

I am also disgusted with the Org for hiring a consultant whose first two google search results are about his sexual assaults. There is a chance that they hired the firm, and not the consultant, and never looked him up, but still.

I may confer with a senior administrator (who happens to be a queer feminist) and see what they have to say. But it sucks that people like that get to be respected designers (in their region at least) and can still get work.

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So even though my mom is not supportive of me changing my name and is really confused about my gender in general, she did give me my birth certificate. 

Next week I’m going to get the paperwork notarized and try to hand it to the courts the week after that. Holy shit this is getting real. 

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Can it be Wednesday yet?

Charlotte and I are gonna bike down to Riis Beach and take shrooms and have a magical time frolicking and worshiping the sea before the beach gets turned into that stupid brooklyn bazaar thing. 

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Last night I dreamed I self injected perfectly. So I guess that’s opposite of an anxiety dream. 

maybe i’ll finally get it right for shot number six.

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Top Surgery

When I heard the Gov. Cuomo mandated that all NY state insurances had to cover trans health care I was so excited. I started planning the time table for my top surgery.

And then I called my insurance company and they told me my surgery would not be covered. I mentioned the mandate to the representative and she told me to call my HR department. The company I work for is very small so they outsource their health insurance to a group called Insperity. I called them up and the woman on the phone told me that because my insurance was based in Texas that the New York mandate wouldn’t apply to my coverage. 

I know I can fight this, send in request, do appeals, etc etc, but if my surgery isn’t going to my covered at all, I might as well just go the surgeon I want to go to. I would have settled for a New York based surgeon if my insurance covered it. 

I decided I’m really going to start penny pinching and throwing $500 in my saving account each month. It felt really satisfying to that today. For the longest time top surgery felt like a goal I would never reach but now it really feels like its within my grasp.

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Transitions

Time to talk about my transition thus far. I started T about 7 weeks ago. In those seven weeks I have noticed a few changes, nothing too crazy.

1. My arms have gotten a lot bulkier. I don’t even have to flex to show off my muscles anymore. 

2. My voice has maybe dropped an octave or so. Still very obviously female though

3. Hair. My legs are getting hairier and a few dark facial hair have popped up above my upper lip. (Gonna have that awkward teenage boy mustache, I bet). My eyebrows have gotten a lot bushier too. 

TMI Stuff

4. My clit has enlarged. Lil baby dicklet, I should say.

5. I’m more sweaty and smelly. Old spice is a miracle worker.

6. My sexual interests are becoming more varied. I hooked up with my first post op, on T for a while transguy and I was really into it. I’m definitely looking forward to fucking cismen too. 

7. On the topic of sex, really into penetration now. Sex in general has been a lot better. 

8. Pain tolerance has gone up. I definitely feel like I can take more of a beating in D/S situations, which is fun and exciting.

That’s it for now. This is a really exciting journey and every day something new shows up. 

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New tattoo! Looks it's not a cat! #Fridaythe13thtattoo (at Gristle Tattoo+Art Gallery)

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relevant

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In celebration of getting a new job I treated myself to a vintage motorcycle jacket. Amping up the queerness #genderqueer #transmasculine #queersofbrooklyn

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Parks and Recreation by the Numbers | The Guest Stars, the Waffles, Li’l Sebastian, and More

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Well, this is glorious.

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today is a big day. today i go to the doctor to talk about starting t. hopefully in a week or so i will have my first shot.

oh lord

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#translivesmatter

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If you or anyone you know is feeling lonely, depressed, scared, or any other myriad of feelings please know there are people out there you can talk to.

http://www.translifeline.org/

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

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i only ever see this happening from the back or the side. it's fun watching it super fast in front of me :)

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Fun with time lapses//final coat of armor before I face the windchill.

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can't stop watching this