don't look back in anger

Noah Puckerman. District 7. Axe Wielder.

[district12-gianna-blog]

A big fucking deer kicked me today.

[n-lumberpuck]

You let a deer kick you?

[tributeaubree]

You don’t look that old… actually, you’re kind of attractive.

[n-lumberpuck]

Damn, it's not everyday you get hit on. Only kind of?

[essentiallyquinn]

I started at One and worked my way back through the Districts. Three wasn’t my favorite either and Six didn’t like me because, you know… I was around last year or in Thirteen visiting Caroline. Spent time in Seven, Eight and Nine too. Probably why we missed each other. They’re always up for grabs. I would like to see you at some point you know. I wasn’t just organizing relief efforts.

[n-lumberpuck]

Well haven't you been busy. You've been just about everywhere. I skipped around some, avoided places I felt kinda weird being. Cause of the Games, you know. Your sister stayed in Thirteen? I almost forgot that was an option people took. I never trusted those people, I could never really stay there long. Sounds like you dropped by my neck of the woods and didn't look me up either. I see how it is. We should meet up, catch up. Do something together. I missed you, you know.

[n-lumberpuck]

[Private]

[second-districtevans]

That’s where I’m stumped too, man, I don’t know why? She never even told me, she just said no and that she had her reasons… Whatever they are. So, it just sucks. I don’t know, if she hates commitment, why has she been with me for more than five years? It doesn’t make sense. I guess, I mean, who knows, she could still leave me tomorrow if she wanted. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did.

[n-lumberpuck]

Nah, man. Come on. You know she's not gonna up and leave you. Probably not ever. Maybe it's something with her sister, who knows. Stuff has been hard on everyone these past handful of years, the fact that you two are still together says a lot though. Why do you need to label it as an engagement anyhow? If you're happy, you're happy.

[n-lumberpuck]

[Private]

[districtonewilde]

That’s what they call me. You’ve painted a lovely picture there. That makes me feel awful. Like I should be doing more. Maybe I should go to other poorer districts who need the hand instead of just sitting here. Something really bad happened way back when I was captured. Besides like, the obvious torture. Something like… whatever and that.. kind of has to do with it. I know that doesn’t make sense, but I can’t explain a little without going into everything. But looking back now, maybe I should have done it differently and maybe I shouldn’t have said no.

[n-lumberpuck]

Between me and Quinn, the poorer districts are holding up fine. Don't worry about it. No harm no foul. I just don't have anything better to do with my time. It's been five years, Chlo. I know it's still hard, but if you need to talk about it, you know you can. You can't hold that stuff in forever, and I'm not saying you should've said yes to him, but it's kinda hard for him to understand where you're coming from when he doesn't know the whole story. And I think you know that. Besides, how are you going to get past it if you're still hiding from the people that love you, me too, but especially him.

[essentiallyquinn]

It does. Which ones? I spent most of the last six seven months out in the outer districts trying to help them get back on their feet. Easier than being home sometimes, you know? Wow, thanks Noah. I was going to say I missed you but I am not now… You should have let me know you were coming. I would have come back. Someone has to teach you to properly swim. Besides it would have been nice to have someone to talk to. People in the other districts are nice but it’s not the same.

[n-lumberpuck]

I spent a lot of time out at twelve, surprisingly. I think they've been the worst, they weren't too good before everything, and they don't get as much help as the rest of the places do, so I figured why not. I spent a little bit of time in three, but it was a little too techy for my taste, I wasn't as big of a help there as I would've liked to be. Then Seven, of course. And Four like I mentioned. Last year, if I remember correctly. I didn't know the swimming lessons were still up for grabs. I figured if I couldn't find you on my own that you were busy doing something great somewhere, I wouldn't want to pull you away from that. 

[districtonewilde]

I would have already checked in there if I wasn’t. Yeah, I think it is, too. I don’t really know what a poor District looks like though. One and Two and Thirteen were the only ones I’ve been to and they’re all pretty well off. I know. I don’t blame him for being upset. I just miss him. It’s hard living with the guy you love and watch him just avoid you. It’s been weeks. Yeah, yeah.

[n-lumberpuck]

Well excuse me, Richie Rich. Shit, basically. The poorer districts look like shit. Try to picture the worst living conditions and lifestyle possible. It's about three times worse than whatever you can imagine, and sadly that's not an exaggeration. Yeah, I get that. So uh, why'd you say no anyway?

[n-lumberpuck]

[Private]

[second-districtevans]

Yeah, me neither, trust me. I just don’t get girls either, I mean.. She doesn’t want to marry me, but still sorta acts like a wife to me at home. So, it’s hard to be there, or around her right now. I mean, I just asked her a few weeks ago.. I don’t know if she realizes how much this hurts from my point of view, ya know?

[n-lumberpuck]

Yeah, I get that. I can only imagine how hard that is on you man. What I can't imagine is what would make her say no. Maybe it's too much of a commitment or something, too serious for her taste. Who knows. At least she still wants to be with you though, right? So there's a bright side.

[n-lumberpuck]

[Private]

[second-districtevans]

…that’s funny you say that. I mean, at least someone else thinks that should happen. But, she said no. 

[n-lumberpuck]

Well shit man, that's not what I was expecting. I'm sorry, I'm sure there's a reason...maybe she's just not ready or something. I don't know. I don't really get chicks.

[districtonewilde]

Not at all. I just haven’t been able to bring myself to do it. Guess I am weaker than you thought. I can’t even imagine what Twelve looks like. I just picture Seven to have a lot of trees… It’s like… well, I mean, he proposed and I said no… but I have my reasons. Fine, fine. I can’t go on in life without you.

[n-lumberpuck]

That's a lie and you know it. Don't give me that. I think it's the poorest district, maybe not, but you can tell by the looks of it. Trees is pretty spot on, not much else to it. That's like, the ultimate bruising of a dude's ego. You know that, right? I'm not saying it's cool that he's ignoring you or whatever, but he's probably hurting like hell over it. So I can kinda understand. Hey, you admitted it. It was only a matter of time.

[essentiallyquinn]

I has more of a ring than calling you Puckerman. Well, no one has ever told me I am the sweetest girl so… Don’t do that, Noah. Let them just be afraid of you. Even more now that I’ve come back to Four for a little while and have gotten some sun. Never spend a winter in Twelve. I kind of want to go back and do another round of the Districts. So what have you been doing with yourself? Outside harassing the kids.

[n-lumberpuck]

Yeah, maybe it does. I can dig it. I find that hard to believe, you're pretty sweet from what I remember. Fine, fine. I'll try to behave. Be an upstanding citizen and what not. Never spend any extended amount of time in twelve, that's what I've learned. Well, as fun as the harassing has been, that hasn't been my main source of employment. I've bounced around a couple of districts trying to help out, spent most of my time home though. I popped by four to help out for a little there. Either you weren't around or we never crossed paths. I mean, not that I was looking too hard for you or anything. Not that at all.

[n-lumberpuck]

[Private]

[second-districtevans]

Sorry, no. And I can’t. We’re kind of not really talking right now.

[n-lumberpuck]

Wait, really? Shouldn't you guys be like married and popping out kids by now or something?

[essentiallyquinn]

Yeah, okay Seven. Do they actually believe you? Good because you’re the same age as me and I am far from old or anything resembling it. 

[n-lumberpuck]

Did you just revert back to calling me by my district number? That's cold. You're cruel. Some do, some feel like they should test me. It hasn't gotten them anywhere though. I might have to make an example out of someone one of these days. Yeah, don't worry. I'm sure you're lookin good as always.

[districtonewilde]

It is a pretty good opportunity to travel a little and see all the places. I like to think I’ll be able to take a trip home eventually. Just to see it again for my own eyes and all that. It’s really weird in two, like just seeing how everyone operates. It’s different, but I guess that’s how each place is. He’s really mad at me. I totally could!

[n-lumberpuck]

You can do it whenever you like, I don't know what you're waiting for. Have you really not been back there since? Like at all? Definitely. Twelve was different from what I was expecting, but kinda similar to Seven in a couple of ways. Four was pretty new to me, looked a lot different from the first time I dropped in there too. Am I allowed to ask why? I just told you, don't kid yourself.

[districtonewilde]

Not at all. Oh wow, you’ve really been around. I don’t really have the heart to go to one. It would just remind me that my family is gone and all, you know? I feel like I still should go there one day, just to try and help out there, too. I just haven’t been able to bring myself to do it yet. Plus, Sam’s pretty set here… and I don’t think he would go with me now anyway. I could if I really tried!

[n-lumberpuck]

Figured I spent all that time never getting to see what everywhere else was like, might as well take advantage of visiting to help out. But yeah, that makes sense. It's hard to stay in seven sometimes, too many memories and a lot of questions, what ifs and stuff. I try not to think like that though. You should stop by though, go home just one more time before you officially become a member of two or something. Sam would go with you, I'm sure. Why wouldn't he? Nah, you couldn't. Don't lie to yourself.

[essentiallyquinn]

Maybe you are getting too old… Though I am sure they didn’t give you a hard time for long.

[n-lumberpuck]

Nope, they know better. I threatened to rough em up, that's how I keep people in line these days. I'm still young, hip and spry though. Don't start with me, Fabray.

[n-lumberpuck]

[Private]

[second-districtevans]

Shit just happened between us and things are just… I don’t know, fucked up now.

[n-lumberpuck]

So what, the answer is to take it out on me? Can't you just talk to her?