“it’s like you don’t want to get better.”

my memory will rot quiet like the cancer that plagues me sol // 18 // she.they // h:5”1 sw: 53 // gw: 45 // ugw: <40

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am tired of making a religion out of my suffering’.

[text id: my bones whimper at the thought of what could have been. / what could have been if i was not born in a grave?]

[nachtnabelle]

ive had people say im conventionally attractive and i seriously dont see it. ive also had people say i look average. at this point, im too scared to find out

[oatlees]

workout routine for quick wl!

10-20k+ steps everyday (20k steps for the best results)

Nikolas 5 min flat stomach and abs + Eva’s Pilates 4 min slim waist. Do this for 2-3 days or however more you want to do it, I usually do it just once but if you want to do the Pilates on repeat multiple times feel free!

fast for 3 days ATLEAST. This can be 24-48h fast or you can just do the full 72h fast.

dieting should be -800 cals, but the less you eat the more you burn❤️ This is my own personal plan and if you feel bad at any point take breaks! I’ve tried this for a week and lost almost 5kg

[miyaskylans]

[nachtnabelle]

he has a girlfriend??????? wtf??

[nachtnabelle]

oh i need to actually start losing weight n getting my shit together 😭😭😭

[miyaskylans]

[nachtnabelle]

god, i crave so badly for something, for anything to happen. with anyone, for anything, i just need something to sweep me away

i need to feel something. i need to feel anything. i cant be stuck at home forever, i cannot be isolated forever. i might really go crazy this way

uni made me so busy but i loved the spontaneity, the thrill, the adrenaline. randomly going out, walking outside in the dead of night, everything

god, i need a distraction. i need someone to text me. i think im going insane.

[1nsomniangel]

i wish i was fucking skinny i’m such a fat fucking loser

[nachtnabelle]

i hate being seen as weak

i am alot of things, weak is not one of them

but god, do i want to be so thin i look fragile, as if mere touch could shatter me into a million pieces

…

duality of man.

[nachtnabelle]

doing everything in my power not to fall into bad habits

but when i go into the bathroom i instinctively lift the toilet seat

and when i eat i drink more water than i should

its like its all my body knows

its only a matter of time

i really dont want it to be

[nachtnabelle]

despite everything, i wanted it to be you.

[nachtnabelle]

f my shibal life

[nachtnabelle]

i relapsed after a month

my throat feels like SHIT

who knew relapsing meant before relapsing my voice would sound mid at best, but then AFTERWARDS IT WOULD SOUND AND FEEL WORSE UGHHH

[nachtnabelle]

post purge/bp relapse is NO JOKE YALL i slept for two days straight and am STILL TIRED. FUCK

[nachtnabelle]

jack of all trades, master of fucking nothing. i set myself up to fail, to disappoint. i will never be good.

[nachtnabelle]

hey, i see your recent posts from a few days ago. i hope you’re feeling a little bit better now. if not, i hope u do soon. our dms and asks r open if u wanna talk. take good care of urself ok?

hi! im sorry, ive been really busy with college prep and then orientation. im here now though

and thank you ☹️ im not sure if i feel all that better, but im doing alright enough. i hope you’re okay too 🙏 (because icl, it is kind of worrying you found my account at all)

i’ll take u up on that offer if i need it ❤️ but u dont need to busy yourself with my woes 🙂‍↔️

take care of yourself too

[nachtnabelle]

why am i like this actually why do i refuse to let anyone in

[nachtnabelle]

you know why.