False Assumptions & Beliefs about KInk
People, and tumblr porn make assumptions about Kink, Femdom, and BDSM all the time. Here are the ones that drive me nuts. ( if you don’t agree.. rant on your own blog)
1. It’s not about sex, It’s all about sex.. .. It’s about service, it is about anticipating your dominants needs before they express it, its about sex, however, actually having it is solely at the Dominants discretion. It is about adoration, protection, and honoring your partner for what they give, and what you take..
2, We all wear fetish clothes! We do not need to be dressed in Latex and leather to dominant someone, nor are we typically. Those outfits are typically uncomfortable, and not conducive to play, and reserved for parties and such. Being dominant and having a fetish for certain types of clothing are two different things and are mutually exclusive, and often don’t go together.
3. We all look like supermodels.. Hmph.. Really, have you been to a kinky party, club? Most of us are average looking folks with every body type under the sun. In fact the model images you see on Tumblr are rare to see in reality.
4. Everyone in Chasity, has a small dick, and never ever gets to fuck... BULLSHIT! They are at the beck and call of their owner to do whatever they want… and many get out to be fucked a hell of a lot.
5. You have to deny your submissive sex and have a side lover. C'mon folks.. many people are content with their primary partner, and many aren’t.. Who cares. This originates in the notion that being submissive is unmanly and undesirable, and it total rubbish. Submissive men make excellent lovers, because they take direction. If your not wanting to advocate and speak out for your own pleasure and enjoyment to them ladies, perhaps you are not that dominant. Men can’t read minds, tell them how you like it, if you don’t know.. experiment until you do! this leads to……
6. That Mistresses should never be vulnerable or let their subs make love to them of fuck them. I do not understand why people chose to deny themselves pleasure and happiness. It is ok to be vulnerable, you are human, having/expressing emotions does not make you a submissive, anymore than fucking makes you dominant.
7. That all dominant women are male hating female supremacists, who need to micromanage all the little wanking men.. Fuck that!.. I love men….. and most are good guys. If you feel that you have to micromanage and monitor someones activities of daily living.. I’m sorry, but they are not submissive.
8. That men who cross-dress are gay, fags, and really want to be dominated by men, crave BBC and real women don’t consider them desirable, because they are not man enough…. BULLSHIT! Many women I know have husbands and lovers that cross-dress for the humiliation aspect of it, at the direction of their wives.. or for simply the fetishistic enjoyment of the clothes, or to be our lesbian lovers for the evening. They still have times when the are in boy mode, and/or girl mode.. it depends on the dominants mood.
9. That being a sadist means you have to leave a person looking like hamburger meat.. Please.. you can torment a consenting individual with just a thought, and a few well chosen words. One of my biggest gripes is the unsafe and unhealthy sadistic scenes I see depicted in images. This scares off the newbies, and make people question exploring kink.
10. That everyone can be kinky.. you can’t make someone kinky, Kink isn’t easy, in fact it is harder than most vanilla relationships, because it order for it to be good and work, you have to be able to compatible outside of the kink and within the kink. If you really want your needs to be met you have to focus on the other persons needs above your own.. at the same time you must be completely free to honestly express & communicate your own needs and desires.. If both people are doing so, and one take the leads and the other follows, you have a symbiotic relationship that is healthy. You should be able to laugh together, drink a cuppa tea, and cuddle,go out the dinner with friends, come home and fuck, peg, be locked up in chastity, teased and tormented, worshiped and adored. .. Is it easy? NO!.. It is hard enough to find compatibility outside of kink, let alone within in. and many of us do what we can to get what we need, and for some that is Tumblr
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