miserable & magical

❝—she’s a n g r y, she’s always angry, it’s the only way she can feel sad and strong at the same time.❞

[nadiafvck-blog]

genrossi:

“ i still do. i wouldn’t consider myself no one! that sounds disgusting – tang does not mix with bitter nicotine. it seems as unsavory as adding fruity syrup into coffee, which some people find addicting. no i don’t, but i will take your word for it! i love how you’re describing your experience for me, it makes it easier to imagine that i’ve done. it’s why i read books you know. grape doesn’t go with much – it’s such a shame. so you’ve done it all then? been to jail too? of course i do – you’re carrying a conversation with me without destroying my opinion, you can’t be a complete monster. we could call it a loan if that makes you feel better? ”

“it really doesn’t. nothing mixes with nicotine that well, actually, but fruit seems to be particularly bad. if i ever come across someone who puts fucking fruit in their coffee, i’m leaving the country. i don’t care if i’m here or in the states, that’s disgusting. ah yes, that’s me--nadia collins, story extraordinaire. you can live vicariously through me, gen. it doesn’t, which really is a downer considering it’s the best flavor. i guess you could say i’ve done a little bit of everything, yeah. mhm, i was arrested the day i turned eighteen, actually, but that’s a story for another day. well, thanks for not considering me a modern day frankenstein, pal. absolutely not, i don’t even need money.”

[nadiafvck-blog]

Have you ever been caught masturbating?

[nadiafvck-blog]

javierffs:

oh my god, nadia, just tell me you missed me and get it overwith already. this duke isn’t going to degrade anyone by calling them ass but, hey, damn you pay that much attention to my endeavors, i’m flattered, nads.

in your dreams, lover boy. oh my, what a gentleman. of course you are, i don’t think there’s anything i could say that you wouldn’t consider a compliment, javi. but to each their own, i guess, i appreciate the self love aspect. 

[nadiafvck-blog]

anastasjias:

a laugh peals from her lips at the girl’s words and she shakes her head, a girn etched upon her features. “you’re not an alcoholic nads,” she tells the other as she continues walking, the brunette’s hand held tightly in hers. “because if you’re an alcoholic, then i must be addicted to like fifty different substances. and i am not an addict. i’m not that fuckin’ cliché.” giving her best friend a grin, she nods at her words, bouncing along with her, far too energetic for the late hour or the minimal amount of sleep she’d gotten the night before. stopping just before the neon sign of a high-end fashion store, some designer name her father would be appalled at the girl for not recognizing, she’s quick to push the doors open, stumbling in with nadia in tow. once inside, she flashes the store clerk a grin, eyes alit with excitement, the picture of the type of customers the woman doesn’t want in her store. the type of customer who’s only there to wreak havoc. but given the designer label on her top, the wealth the woman is sure would spill from a mention of anastasjia’s last name, she allows the girls to do as they please. “look nads,” dropping the girl’s hand she totters over to a rack of dress, running her hands over the silky fabrics, “you would look killer in this one.” she holds up a short navy blue number, cut for a club but with a price tag that suggests a more elegant endeavor. “you have to try it on, please?”

“mm, not yet anyways,” she giggles, mind dancing with the idea of alcoholism. it wasn’t a pretty sight, nor would it ever be, but in all reality, the brunette had to admit she was surely headed that way if she couldn’t sober up in time. at ana’s insistence, nadia’s eyes are caught in a roll, “yes, because fighting addiction in fear of being a cliche is such a great motive. besides, if anyone is an addict, it would be me--i’m the pill popper, remember?” wiggling her eyebrows, her lips fall to rest in a smirk, eyes alight with mischievous glee. but before that topic can be explored any further, the pair are already skipping away from it, always skirting around the biggest issues they face. stumbling, nadia works to find her balance again as she’s dragged into some high-end store, one she positively can’t afford. momentarily, her thoughts are clouded, the girl dazed by the expensive perfume that seems to waft from the air vents, each light within the store seeming to stun her as it spotlights the two. but then, she refocuses, and nadia’s eyes fall upon her pleading best friend, her own heart dropping. “i’d love to, ana, but we both know i can’t,” she eyes the price tag, giving anastasjia the typical ‘i’m poor!’ look. “but you in that emerald skirt,” she points in another direction, a desperate attempt at a distraction. “well damn, you could conquer an empire in that.”

[milashhstuff-blog]

{. the luxembourg gardens                                          ~ nadia & mila

[nadiafvck-blog]

milashhstuff:

“seriously, man. those things are addictive as hell.” the girl chuckled, resting her hands in the pockets of loose fitting bottoms. “i mean i’m definitely feeling a little burnt out from all the bread and cheese though, ya know? i would kill for a real salad out here, man.” she muttered, realizing just how much she probably sounded cliched for saying such a sentence. “honestly, man. i’m surprised how chill parisian’s are about they’re weed. i just asked this couple i suspected smoking in the park the other day. they were really nice about directing me to the nearest dealer. definitely wouldn’t recommend the area though, man.” mila shook her head as she walked letting a rather large laugh pass her lips towards her friends joke. “not sure how pumped i am for the escargot part, but at least we’ll be able to say we tried it, right?” with a shrug of her shoulders, the blue haired girl re-directed her gaze towards their path andcould already feel the sweet, bakery air wafting towards her. “you smell it, man? or am i already trippin’?”

nodding, the girl murmured, “i’m beginning to think they’re laced--there’s no other explanation as to why i’d be so damn hooked on them.” seeking an activity for her hands, nadia patted the waistband of her skirt, feeling for the telltale bulge of a cigarette box, which she’d placed there this morning after deciding her purse was too much. within seconds, she’d lit one, ashes flicking to the sidewalk as she inhaled a long drag. “this definitely isn’t a good place to visit if you’re trying to diet, that’s for sure,” she concurred, ignoring the burn of nicotine in the back of her throat. “but yeah, i guess america’s the only really uptight country about drugs. i mean, look at the countries with all the red light districts.” brown eyes dancing in a roll, nadia’s gaze finally landed on the sight ahead of them, inhaling a whiff of her own. “oh no, that’s absolutely a bakery, and a definite stop before we get on our train.” 

[nadiafvck-blog]

carmillafck:

ay dios mío, they are so pathetic it’s almost laughable. that’s why i never bring anyone back to my place, it’s not worth the headache. ugh, everyone thinks they are going to fly to paris and find some mind-blowing, hollywood worthy romance, like there fucking magic in the water supply or something. there’s so much more to paris then that.

yikes, i can’t imagine bringing anyone home to my own place. i like to keep it public or at theirs, no reason to make things messy with my own address, hm? next thing you know, i’ll have a stalker on my hands. exactly! there are amazing sights here, and the cuisine is lovely, too. yet all anyone can find hype about is some man tangled up in an ascot. a bit pathetic, really. 

[gfychace]

hey, so where the hell is my welcome parade? you guys.. you’re losing touch with what’s really important here - think big, think me in a super comfy, expensive chair with like three of you waving giant leaves for air con while the rest feed me grapes and listen to me talk about my day. oh, and a chocolate fountain! get on with it.

[nadiafvck-blog]

i suppose it’s up your ass somewhere, hm? oh please, i’d be lucky if i could half of that for myself, let alone you. and who made you king, anyway? last i heard, you were only duke of trying to get ass, but never actually succeeding. 

[milashhstuff-blog]

{. the luxembourg gardens                                          ~ nadia & mila

[milashhstuff-blog]

“alright, man.” mila smiled towards her friend as she contemplated on which direction to take the pair in. she felt as though she exhausted just about each direction for adventure, but that was on her solo travels. she at least hoped nadia hadn’t explored out as far as she had. “we’ll take this way. they have this killer bakery that just like hits you from a block away, man. i swear it’s heavenly.” the girl could practically feel her stomach rumbling towards the thought of the very bakery hitting her nose. mila found her paranoia overwhelming her a bit as she felt at her pockets for the narcotics she had attemtped to stow away. “i thought i lost it, man.” the blue haired girl chuckled as the continued to bound down the cracked path of the sidewalk. “you woudn’t believe how chill french people are about weed. i didn’t think it would be as easy as it was to score good weed.” she laughed as her gaze was locked on the ground. “you think it’ll have like a fancy french taste to it?” she inquired humorously as she dodged a fast pace biker coming right for her.

[nadiafvck-blog]

nadia stared at each twist and turn of the streets with new eyes, sadly never having been this far without the mask of night. seeing paris in the daylight was an entirely different experience, one she wasn’t upset to be taking with mila. “i don’t think i’ll ever be able to go back to new york, croissants have stolen my heart,” the brunette mused lightly, allured by the thought of being captured in bakery scents. nadia was a sucker for sweets, despite her sour exterior, and was already memorizing the route for future access to the goodies served in the place mila spoke of. side-eyeing the girl, she was as her blue head ducked to assess her own pockets, a smirk overtaking nadia’s face at the other’s apparent nerves. “how’d you even approach it? did you seek out an actual dealer? i could have hooked you up, you know, i’ve met a few guys since we’ve gotten here, and they usually have good shit.” with a grin, nadia’s gaze flitted to the clear sky, and her words seemed lighter than usual as she chimed, “oh, definitely. it’ll taste like escargot and wine, for sure.”

[anastasjias-blog]

“well, we could always get tattoos later tonight. or now,” she tells the girl, a mischievous grin on her lips. with them standing so close like this, nadia’s head on her shoulder, her body leant against hers, she feels almost like nadia is her twin, her sister. the two are so intwined, their childhoods blurred together, that sometimes it’s hard for her to distinguish herself from the other, to pull the brunettes apart into two separate people. because sometimes it feels like they’re one person, always reckless, always willing to take it to extremes, no qualms about possible repercussions for their actions. “c’mon,” she says, stepping out from beside the girl and grabbing her hand, pulling her out of the elevator and into the parisian night air. once the chill hits her, the smells of the night — wine, smoke, flowers, and from somewhere in the distance, flames — fill her nostrils, she feels more alive, always coming out in full at night, like a star in the sky or the moon hiding itself from the sun’s rays. “thank god you always have that flask on you,” she comments, a grin on her lips. “alright, we’ll drink from your flask, wander into every shoppe that catches our interest, and take a trip to tattoo parlor. i need some fresh ink.”

[nadiafvck-blog]

nadia considers the idea carefully, letting it stew within her mind for a beat of silence before she can finally answer. “anytime is a good time, honestly,” she finally decides, figuring that the pair can let fate take its course. though, she has a feeling that one way or another, they’ll both end up with inked skin by the end of the night. they were never much for thinking things through, but the moment a reckless idea infiltrated their minds, it was like they couldn’t be stopped. their similarities were often so strong that nadia got the feeling the two shared a mind, or possibly just half a heart, like the equivalent of friendship soulmates. so entranced by the buzz of the elevator, the brunette didn’t realize when they’d finally reached their designated floor, being jolted forward by anastasjia’s tug on her hand. “some may consider me an alcoholic for it, but i just pour one out for their lost personalities,” nadia snickers to herself, embracing the crisp french air. nodding, the air between the girls seems to shift, the mutual agreement seeming to buzz around them as their plans are concrete now. “well, let’s go then,” she urges, and begins to strut towards the first neon sign she sees. 

[genrossi]

“ suppose you’re right. to each their own kind of gets exhausting, though. fruity flavor? i never knew something like that existed. dang. that seems so tempting. wait – why is it disgusting if it hides the nicotine? you sure seem to know your cancer sticks. i don’t believe everything i hear – you don’t have to destroy. what do you do? do you need money nadia? ”

[nadiafvck-blog]

“which is exactly why no one uses that phrase anymore. yeah, they’re cherry and shit now. i guess it’s cool if you’re into the fruit scene, but i think they’re sort of nasty. they just leave a weird taste in your mouth, you know? like, nicotine and artificial grape do not mix whatsoever. why thank you, i like to consider myself an expert on everything bad. you may have more faith in me than most, in that case. nah, i’m not a charity case. i can figure things out just fine.”

[hvkeems-deactivated20160212]

what the fuck is up with you all girls asking my kinks? you’re the second person to mention that to me today.

[nadiafvck-blog]

what can i say? when you’ve got a guy that hot and bothered by someone’s face alone, you have to ask. i have to make sure i’m not putting myself at risk by being near you. not that you’d be a concern, but you get the point. 

[carmillafck]

honestly. saying that will never get you laid - and if it does, it’s probably with a stage five clinger. agreed. the amount of cheesy romantics seems to be multiplying now that we’re in the city of love.

[nadiafvck-blog]

oh god. the clingers are the worst. you fuck them once and suddenly they’re in love with you, and you’re the best thing to have ever happened to them. disgusting. i’m glad i’m not the only one who has noticed, i can’t stand this country’s reputation. all people think about is the glitz and glamour of the place, nothing real. 

[nadiafvck-blog]

&&. nadia adeline collins: an aesthetic

❝ with every word she was drawing further and further into herself. ❞

[genrossi]

“ really? i would feel guiltier because the more you smoke, the more the flames would lick the pretty pink up until it disintegrated to ashes. destruction at its finest. so i take it you’re a fan of destruction? how awful – nadia, there are better ways to deal with problems. ”

[nadiafvck-blog]

“i guess it’s a matter of preference then, because i’ve never found it to be a problem. same like those fruity flavored ones, they’re disgusting, but they hide the nicotine if it’s a nice enough manufacturer, so it’s worth it. of course i am, haven’t you heard? i’m the queen of destruction. mm, but it’s my measly income that i’m spending on my destructive habits, so no need for you to worry about it.”

[anastasjias-blog]

normally not one to knock, she finds the process of waiting for the other to open their door unnerving, but finally nadia opens up and a grin spreads across her lips. “i’m not desperate, just bored,” she counters, though the words come out more like a whine than an attempt at self-defense, and besides, she knows the brunette will accompany her wherever she goes. they’re sisters, bound by something thicker than blood, and she knows nadia would follow her to the ends of the earth if she asked. but for tonight, it’s just normal mischief, dazzling the streets of paris in ways only the pair can. “you look hot, so it works,” she says, sending the girl a wink as she surveys her, a grin on her lips. “i’m gonna have to fight the guys too keep ‘em off you, aren’t i? too bad we don’t have matchin’ tattoos yet, that way everyone would know you’re mine.” walking through the hall side by side with her partner in crime, the two looked more dangerous than any men one could ever meet. dressed to seduce, both in black to blend in with the night, it doesn’t matter whether their outfits are actually dresses or lingerie, they both look more suited for dancing on a pole than going out on the town. pressing the button for the elevator, she waits for it to arrive, tapping her foot impatiently on the floor. “so, what do you wanna do? hit the clubs? ink ourselves?”

[nadiafvck-blog]

“mhm, that’s what they all say,” she laughs lightly, the familiar relief of her best friend’s presence consuming her. the girls had grown up together, had spent countless days and nights and years together, and to this day, nadia often thought of the other as an extension of herself. just being in ana’s proximity was enough to have nadia euphoric, a sweet release after torturous feelings of rage and dissatisfaction. “why thank you. do i even need to bother with returning the compliment? we both know you rock everything,” nadia’s fingers moved to pinch the fabric of ana’s shirt, smiling. shaking her head in mock disappointment, the girl chimed in, “i know, how are we going to stake our claim on each other now? no one will ever be able to know we’re girlfriends.” ending her statement with a wink, she linked her arm through anastasjia’s, securing her sister-by-choice as her companion for the night. impatience already consuming her over needing to wait for the elevator, nadia rests her head on anastasjia’s shoulder, suggesting, “a little bit of both? we can take a few swigs from my flask and stumble into whatever shop we find first.” and though her friend can’t see her, nadia’s expression settles into one of mischief. 

[hvkeems-deactivated20160212]

right?! i love it when you agree with me. 

[nadiafvck-blog]

is that one of your secret kinks, aamir? 

[carmillafck]

it’s for fools who think love and sex are interchangeable. absolutely not. i’ll be old and grey and still say fucking instead of that bullshit.

[nadiafvck-blog]

you’ve hit it spot on, doll. i agree though, it’s better not to kid yourself with the idea of ‘making love’ ever. if you want to stay sane, that is. but it’s nice to have someone on the same page as me for once.