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Not Always Learning’s Unfiltered Stories have moved! Please find us at our new home at http://NotAlwaysLearning.com/category/unfiltered!

Secondary School England, UK (Classmate #1 was chosen to run a slideshow in my English class and asked to choose people to read from the board. Note: My class is mainly girls with only six boys in total) Teacher: Your selection is a little sexist isn't it? (At this point, Classmate #1 had only chosen girls to read) Classmate #1: Okay... [Classmate #2] would you like to read? Classmate #2: Uh... Classmate #1: Oh, wait! [Classmate #2] is a girl! (The whole class erupted with laughter)

High School Denver, CO, USA (This is freshman year of high school, and my first Spanish 1 class. It is worth noting that the high school was comprised of four other middle schools around the area, so some people don't know the traditions of some of the other middle schools. It is also worth noting that my middle school says the American Pledge of Allegiance in English and Spanish in the mornings.) Spanish Teacher: "Does anyone know any full phrases in Spanish?" Me: *Raises hand* "I know the Pledge of Allegiance." *Begins reciting Pledge* Student: "Wait, wait! Why the heck do you know the Pledge of Allegiance in Spanish?" Me: *Understanding she was from another middle school* "Because that's what my middle school did. We said the Pledge in English, then Spanish." Student: "Why?" Me: "Well, most of the student population was Hispanic. Some of them were more comfortable with Spanish, and some were even still learning English. So we made a compromise." Everyone Else: *Agreeing and understanding* Student: "That's the stupidest f*cking thing I have ever heard!" Me: *Aghast* "Excuse me?" Student: "This is the goddamn United States of America! We speak English here! They can learn English! Why the f*ck should you bother to have them say something patriot and symbolic to America if they don't even speak the national language!?" Me: "Really? First of all: America does not have a national language. We're so diverse that we have people that speak nearly all the languages in this world!" Student: "They should learn English!" Me: "Second of all: Going by your logic, why are you learning Spanish if you live in America?" Other Student: *Plays MLG airhorn sound on iPhone* (The student dropped the class. So far, this is my favorite class of my semester!)

High School Gresham, OR, USA (This happens during history class when the teacher is telling us about the rising markets throughout the years and why. He explains that many of the markets that are spdoing better are because of the invention/discovery of electricity. Then he asks this question) Teacher: So you know who invented/discovered electricity? Really Annnoying Kid That No One Can Stand: Thomas Jefferson (Needless to say the class began laughing hysterically)

High School Gresham, OR, USA (We're doing a math problem in class and not everyone is paying attention. The question clearly states that x stands for the number of years have past since 1960. It is asking us to future out the problem as if it were 1972. Note: The answer was 12) Teacher: So how many years has it been since 1960? Classmate: 40 (It even funnier now because I realized that it has been more like 59 years than for since 1960)

High school PA, USA Teacher: I will not accept any work that is misspelled or has bad grammar if you do it on a computer. You have access to spell check, so there are no excuses. Turn it in to me like that, and automatic zero. (he hands out a packet, which I flip through quickly before he begins the next part of the lesson.) Packet: "A group of like atoms is called an element (purist form)."

High School Ca, USA (I am a sophomore in my math class. I am in a group with three other kids. I'm trying to do my work when I hear a guy saying the jump rope chant from Nightmare on Elm Street.) Guy: One, two Freddy's coming for you. Three, four lock the door. *Pauses like he doesn't know the rest.* Me: Five, six grab your crucifix. Seven, eight stay up late. Nine, ten never sleep again. Guy: *to the other guy* See, she knows. (We went back to work like nothing happened. I didn't have the heart to tell him that the only reason I knew the rhyme was because I looked it up on the internet.)

Middle School TN (In my middle school, if you failed to turn in your homework three times, you got an automatic detention. I was a massive goody two-shoes, and I was terrified of the very idea of detention, but I wasn't very good at doing my homework. After the third time, my teacher wrote me a detention slip for that Friday after school. On that day after school, I walked to the office, pale and nervous as could be, and had this conversation.) Me: Excuse me, ma'am, but where is detention to be held today? Office lady: Detention? We don't hold detention on Fridays. Me: But my teacher gave me a slip that said I had to go to detention today... Office lady: Let me see the paper. Me: *digs through backpack*... I can't find it--but I don't want to get in trouble and I know it was for today! Miss (teacher) wrote it, maybe you can call her-? Office lady: *starting to get huffy* Look kid, there's no detention today. Go home! (At this point, she turned away from me and started tapping away on the computer. Awkwardly, I gathered my things and ran to the buses that were luckily still there. I went home and was super nervous all weekend. When I got back to class on Monday, my teacher never said anything about the detention and I never found the paper. I never got detention again. But I pretty much avoided the office ladies until I graduated to high school.)

High School USA (There's a guy with a very attractive face in my math class. All the girls think he's cute, and all the guys are jealous. I never see him with any friends. He is kind of stuck up about his looks, and is a football star and plays on several other teams. I overhear this conversation between him and another guy.) Good Looking Guy: *arrogant* "Oh, yeah, I'm so great. All the girls want me but who has time for that? I'm practicing to be a professional." Other Guy: "Who would want you with that hair?" Good Looking Guy: "Hair? What's wrong my hair?!" Other Guy: "Nothing, if you call it hair." Good Looking Guy: *points to his head* "What would you call THIS then?" Other Guy: "I don't know. Fuzz perhaps." (The good looking guy looks confused, and I bite back my laughter because his hair really does look fuzzy, like a peach, despite his attractive face! After that, I never heard the good looking guy brag about his good looks again.)

High School Gresham, OR, USA (This took place during my feeshman year of high school. I am what is called "sheltered" and "innocent" so often any inappropriate jokes go right over my head or leave me very confused. One day in PE we were playing prison ball. I had just been hit and I go to the prison. I tend to get in my friends personal space and so when I get over there I hug my friend who doesn't like being touched so this happens.) Friend: (My Name) Get off me! Me: *Doesn't let go* Friemd: Rape! Rape! Me: What do you think I'm in here for? (Immediately my friend bursts out laughing and I stop hugging her only for her to hug me back. She was laughing so hard that she was crying.)

High School Papillion, NE (During my junior year of high school, I had a teacher who was in a word, inept. She would go off subject on tangents about her husband and kids, often gave the entire class the same C+ grade on assignments, and, for the subject of this story, allowed a group of girls to text and talk amongst each other for the entire period. This happens near the end of the class, when she's telling yet another story. Note: the only clock in the classroom is behind me.) Group of Girls: *texting away* Me: *checks my phone for the time* Teacher: (My Name)! Put the phone away! Me: Oh sorry, I was just- Teacher: I don't care, put it away now! Me: But- Teacher: Phone. Bag. Now. (I put my phone away and she goes back to talking. A minute later I share a joke with my desk neighbor.) Teacher: What are you talking about? Desk Neighbor: Nothing, just a joke. Teacher: Really? Was it so important that you had to interrupt me? Don't be rude. Group of Girls: *continuing to talk and text* Me: *headdesk*

High School Gresham, OR, USA (One of my friends (Friend 2) tends to be a bit scary. People don't like to piss her off. She always sits in the same class in history next to one of our other friends (Friend 1) and then another random friend on the other side. In this case it's Friend 1 and Me sitting in the seats when a friend of Friend of Friend on comes in (Guy)) Guy: Are there assigned seats? Friend 1: No Guy: *begins to pull out Friend 2's chair* Then I'll sit here. Friend 1 & Me: Friend 2 will kill you. (Then in Tha same motion the guy pushed his chair in and grabs his binder and walks away.)

School New York USA (One of the kids in my grade is extremely good at math. However, he's also very full of himself, and one of the most sexist people I've ever met. I am in the honors program, and he is too, and putting up with him is difficult. This happens one day when I am in science class. Keep in mind that I am very good with computers and know how to program.) Teacher: My stupid word document won't work! (I look at the computer and see that she has accidentally turned the text blue with a gray background, making it hard to read. This is a very easy fix.) Sexist Kid: I bet I could fix it. (He then attempts to change it back, to no avail.) Sexist Kid: Well, your computer is broken. (He then goes on a very long rant about total system failure, photosynthesis, half the periodic table, and other words that sound vaguely sciencey but have nothing to do with the situation.) Teacher: Darn. [My Name], can you call tech support? Their number is **********. Me: I think I can fix it, actually. Sexist kid: Yeah, right. (He gave a rather long lecture about a nonsense study saying how boys are more mathematically inclined and women are so ~EMOTIONAL~ they obviously can't do ANY sort of work that requires a brain. Meanwhile, I fix the problem in approximately two seconds, and the other girls in the class are starting to get annoyed.) Sexist kid: How- it must have been a glitch. I fixed it and must have changed while she was up there. Me: Actually, all you had to do was highlight the text and click Formatting, then change the color and background. I'd appreciate if you'd leave me alone. Sexist kid: Jeez, you're b*tchy today. You must be on your period. (This apparently crossed the line for my teacher, who gave him detention IMMIDIATELY. For the rest of the day, ninety percent of my female classmates followed him everywhere, screaming and whining loudly about their period and bra straps and how, since they were FEMALE, they OBIOUSLY couldn't control their emotions and thus were incapable of shutting up. Mostly every girl in my school is very sarcastic around him, having a tendency to complain about all stereotypical female problems, and it drives him nuts.)

Secondary School Sunderland, UK (It's the start of a new year and the new year 7s are being shown around by a teacher. I am on a computer, making the most of my free lesson.) Teacher: And this is the year 10 tutor room. There's board games here, so why don't you pick one? (The teacher walks off to check if the next room she has to take the year 7s to is open.) Me: Hello year 7s, my name is God. You will be learning about me a lot in RE and I hope you will continue to worship me at your local Cult of Jesus church. (The year 7s laugh and run off, but one of them takes time to reply.) Year 7: Suck my ****. Me: You'll be spending a lot of time in Hell, little boy!

High School PA It's Meet the Teachers Night. My older children graduated several years ago so none of the parents here know me. Teacher: Hi. I'm Mr. Name and I will be teaching your children their language for the next 3 years. Some of them may decide to take 4 years of language so they will have me for 4 years. Before we get into specifics, I'd like to know which child is yours since I'll be dealing with them for years. We'll start . . . ." He drifts off as he notices I am sitting in the first seat in the first row. Teacher: YOU! Do you have any idea what your child said to me today? Me: No, but he did spend his summer hanging out with his brothers and their friends. I'm sorry? Teacher: You should be! I thought I never had to listen to that stuff again. Now I've got another 4 years of it. All the other parents start looking uncomfortable and trying to hide. Teacher: I guess now is a good time to mention I have an odd sense of humor. Which she knows after dealing with me for 7 years. And her son has spent time with the former students who were the best at making me lose it.

High School Texas We have just gotten e-books in my math class, and after a frustrating day of trying to load them, the teacher asks the class for comments about the pros and cons of the new books. Student: (sarcastically) It took me about 20 minutes to load my book, but the book is totally fetch. Teacher: ( without missing a beat) Stop trying to make "fetch" happen. Any other comments? (Several students applauded the teacher's response)

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