Dear Diary...

どうも、天使です。

[namisaur]

i'm back. maybe?

its been... a really long time. I'm in a better place, but also not? I debated making a new blog to serve as an online journal but I used tumblr for so long, I figured we'll try to come back to this one.

I tried having a physical journal, but then i got paranoid that my egg donor would find it and I didn't feel safe having all those intimate thoughts and feelings written for her to violate by reading through. Mostly paranoia about if I die anytime soon, she'll be the bitch going through my shit. Irrational, whatever.

It's a little ironic considering the reason I ultimately abandoned this tumblr was because my pieceofshit ex gave his sister wife the link, and she of course gave it to the rest of her shitty, circle jerk, echo chamber, low IQ friends and they were copy / pasting all my text posts onto their "private fb group" to laugh at me about. If you're the kind of person to mock and laugh at someone's trauma, then i genuinely hope the devil finds you, you are not a good person and i can't wait for you all to die and burn in hell.

i even had to change the name of my blog. its been a little over 10 years, i don't know if theres any reasonable way for them to access this anymore, but considering i also have not posted in 10 years, i hope they've forgotten and found some other poor victims to bully. Though, if they are still somehow checking up on me, hey bitches. I grew up and matured and am in therapy to better myself. You clearly haven't. You won't be able to grasp the meaning of my posts anyway so... I guess if you really wanna keep copy / pasting my shit lolol imagine wanting to keep reminding your boyfriend about his ex just so you can "hate on her" instead of just....moving the fuck on and building a life together. Suit yourselves. [i used my old name for another page, and then pw protected it because they had the audacity to say "well, its not private so why is she even mad that we're reading HER MOST INTIMATE THOUGHTS AND MOCKING HER AND LAUGHING AT HER?" stay classy, bitches.]

Anyway. I'm in therapy and coming to terms with a lot of child abuse, but I thought maybe writing regularly will help me again.

we'll see.

[utrippy]

[eveisnep]

And I wonder if I make a difference.

[namisaur]

You do. Every person you talk to, everyone you smile at, every person you hold a door for or ask how their day is. Everyone who needed someone to do that one little thing to let them know that “hey, not everyone is an ass…. Someone does know I exist”.

Every time you smile in the mirror. Every time you take a break for yourself. Every time you take a step back to reflect on your life. It’s good to keep yourself in check, too. “if you’re the only person you’re gonna save, that’s OK too”

[endangered-justice-seeker]

One of the most important things you can teach your kids is when and how to say no to authority figures.

[wtfareyoudoingatmytedtalkasshole]

Even more important is to find a way to teach them that anyone with power doesn’t deserve to be trusted

[7-7-5-deactivated20191217]

[latinahub]

couldn’t have had said it better.

[zagreus]

Mama didn’t raise a quitter but she did raise an insecure perfectionist who never finishes anythi

[anditslove]

“What part of yourself did you have to destroy in order to survive in the world this year? But most importantly: what have you found to be unkillable?”

— Arabelle Sicardi, from “The Year in Ugliness,” published in The Poetry Project (via lifeinpoetry)

[photosbygy-deactivated20200605]

Wow, u do a lot for someone that doesn’t do shit for u, huh

[sedraboc]

[4-2-4]

[dorian-w]

I want to meet pure and honest people 

[mymelaninisgold]

Sometimes you gotta be like “bet” and leave shit alone

[77zcr-deactivated20240609]

well i’ll be damned

[kaiiwooo-deactivated20180323]

welp

[thelovelybones124-deactivated20]

SHE DID THAT !

[taurusgodmother]

IF YOURE NOT GOING THIS HARD FOR BLACK WOMEN YOU ARE NOT AN ALLY

[stephrc79]

Every time…every TIME this is on my dash, I read it all the way thru before reblogging. And you should too. THIS is how you ally. Respect yourself by raising the women around you who deserve that same level of respect.

Respect yourself. Respect your sisters. Never settle for the fuckboys who look to drag us ALL down. ✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

[notcrazylimitededition]

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

resist the urge to give up on healing just because it is slow

[favoritelatina]

Girls that suck dick without being asked and enjoy it are keepers.

[babygirlhasbeenleftalone]

Me🙋🏼‍♀️

[catchymemes]

[somecutething]

Sound on!