Your statement of "he's a grown ass man they gotta let go" is insensitive.
When does age take away the severity of what Jos did? Violence IS violence regardless of Max's age. Simplifying the complexity of how the community brings this topic up in an empathetic way into "ohh no poor little max he must be traumatized and stuff" is idiotic, to say the least.
People bring it up as a recognition of a deeply complex, public psychological dynamic—because this happened to him since he was a child.
In the early stages of life, the mind is easily malleable for poorly constructed lies to validate blind trust, especially when the person doing it is his own father. It creates a power imbalance based on emotional connection that is irrevocably treacherous to adult logic. In the mind of a victim, it’s okay because he’s his dad. It’s okay because he won.
When does age grant you the right to retroactively sanitize the conditional childhood someone had?