jcnathanxbycrs:
A memory popped into Jonathan’s head as he stared at the Wheeler girl, one that makes him cringe as he thinks about it. There had been one time the call he was always too afraid to make had gone through; he remembered standing in the doorway, back against the wall next to the phone as the dial tone rung through his ear. He waited and waited for someone to pick up, thinking that it was sheer dumb luck that he finally had the courage to call the Wheeler household and no one picked up. Then, just as he was about to put the phone back onto the receiver, he heard a voice.
“Hello?”
It wasn’t Nancy– it was Mike, but he was still close. His heart beat against his rib cage painfully at being so close to talking to her, but he couldn’t find his voice now that someone had answered. He heard Mike’s voice again, “Hello? El, is that you?” It was so nauseating to hear someone sound so hopeful for someone else that he just hung up the phone abrupty instead of asking for Nancy, something that should have been easy.
It made him sick to his stomach now, looking right at Nancy and knowing that he was too much of a coward to even talk to the girl he loved. Now that he was right here in front of her, running his mouth, he had no idea what to do or say without making anything worse.
“Yeah, too late– y’know,” He mumbled quietly, shoving his hands down into his coat pockets. “Before you… heard that I was in town. Unless you already knew.”
Jonathan looks back at her, almost expecting Steve or some other handsome guy to come around the corner and sweep her off of her feet. “I”m sorry, Nancy. I-I shouldn’t have bothered you– I should’ve just left you alone.”
The fact that they didn’t even know what to say to each other now stung more than thinking he had just forgotten her. At least then she could think of him as a careless, hurtful asshole - or try to tell herself that. It was actually far from what she thought of him, because she knew him, and because all of her overthinking always brought her to the same truth.
In fact, there was a lot she wanted to say to him. A lot of things she wanted to confront him about, to ask him. She wanted him to explain what happened, when she’d watched it happen, watched them fall apart and hadn’t done anything to stop it herself. She’d never thought he’d return to Hawkins, or that she would ever hear from him again after she’d dug herself deep into heartbreak. And despite her mother pointing out cute guys on the street, and a couple of men hitting on her at college, her thoughts had trickled back to Jonathans gentle embrace around her frame and she knew she’d never get over him.
Nancy watched as he buried his hands in his pockets, the way he always did when he was uneasy and her fingers itched to intertwine with his before they were out of sight. “I- I heard.” Her gaze hit the floor again. “I just didn’t think you...” ... wanted to see me. What, did he think Will wouldn’t immediately come to her house meet up with Mike? More than once, Nancy had sat in her car with her fingers curling around the wheel and her heel hovering above the pedal to drive to his house since the Byers were back, but she’d never had the guts to turn the key.
The lump in her throat threatened to drive tears into her eyes as he spoke, and she was about to turn on her heels, but then she swallowed, hard, and whispered. “Jonathan.” Nancy pressed her lips together until they were white, and her eyes met his. Finally, she shook her head, slowly, in response to what he’d said.
“You- you wanna go for a walk?”
