dude its naomi

20 • Virginia • Half okinawan

[naomicheen]

Wow I just really hope this is one of those posts that I can look back to...

But right now...4 in the ducking morning. Also recovering from jet lag but I can’t go to sleep. My mind is racing with endless possibilities of what to do and the fear of committing to something and not being able to enjoy other things. Why the fuck do I think like thissss ugh. I just crave a fruitful, abundant in all the things I like, do everything I wanna do life without sacrificing. But that’s the beauty of it sometimes. You sacrifice other things to get what you want at this moment.

Well at this moment there’s too much I want and there’s also time constraints with everything I do and I really don’t work well like that. Like no time constraint is the best for me because there’s sort of a commitment aspect to it. I don’t want to be 30 years old and sad I didn’t do what I wanted to be doing in life. I already knew that since 21 years old- to do what I want regardless of people and societal norms. But now I’m 24 and am very aware of this “rule” but I still can’t be happy because I just want to do everything. I want to be living overseas. I want to shoot photography for work around the world at different events. I want to help with art directing and branding. I want to be on a really competitive sports team. I want to teach. I want to have a strong community of artists Around me. I want to be creating with those around me. I want to be coordinating and organizing events. I want to be involved in international relations. I want to work for non profits all over the world. I want to skate and surf everyday. I want to create a home for myself. I want to have a lot of plants I’m growing and bringing to the table. I want to be invited to big events and communicating or creating relations with people.

So dang much I wanna do. Idk what’s harder- being stuck in a 9-5 world and not being able to do what you want to do OR having endless freedom and direction and not knowing what you want to do.

Big fucking sigh. I’m very privileged to be in this position where I am not worrying about money or food or shelter. I’m aware of that. But man I just wanna do it all. How how how how how Jesus please help me how how how

[naomicheen]

Hahaahahahaahahaha

Spent my morning taking my time to cook lunch

Then I end up changing my outfit twice

Then I take the train and get off at the next stop to run and try to get closer to cart nearest the stairs where I transfer only for the doors to SHUT ON ME AND now I’m waiting for the next fucking train. Lmaooooo should’ve JUST STAYED ON THE DAMN TRAIN!!!!!!!!

[naomicheen]

this is in our cedar closet at home

photo by me

model: @emideetharemedy

[naomicheen]

photo by me

model: @obandograce 

[naomicheen]

silver spring laundromat 

photo by me

model: @azarri.white 

[yaguuuuurlnaomi]

Abandoned Office This is my dads old office…..I call it abandoned bc he just sits at a computer in the kitchen now lol

Photographer: Naomi Marika Model: Shannon

[naomicheen]

Flower girl chronicles

Photographer: Naomi Marika Model: Shannon

[naomicheen]

[naomicheen]

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[naomicheen]

[yaguuuuurlnaomi]

[naomicheen]

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[naomicheen]

Why do the porno sex tumblrs have names that kids on club penguin would have

[naomicheen]

Reconnect

It’s important that you reconnect with yourself. It’s important you reconnect with the ones you love. As I am writing this, I’m listening to “The Scientist” by Coldplay and am completely drenched in my feels. The song brought me back to when I was in middle school. The song made me want to dance a choreography of sorrow and grief. The song triggered something in my mind that made me feel whole again. My thoughts came to life and my emotions were reborn. Life is hectic and its easy to lose track of your mission in this life, who shapes you, and who you are. This past week I felt disconnected with myself and didn’t feel like the everyday happy-go-lucky me. I did fun activities with my friends and went to new events, but my mentality was off. I realized I didn’t feel the same or react to things how I usually would. Then, I was sitting at my kitchen table in these early stages of the morning (or late hours of night), doing my homework or scrolling through Facebook, and I came by a video of an autistic son and his father at a Coldplay concert crying what it looked like tears or joy and relief. At that moment, it clicked in my brain that, “hey, you like music and music moves you this way.” That’s when I rushed my way onto Spotify and clicked play.

…

Music is the the medium in which I reconnect with myself and my emotions. Find the thing that makes you weak and helpless from exposing who you truly are. Feed your cravings for familiarity and belonging. Find your “Scientist.”

[naomicheen]

a new new

i’m going to start writing on this blog...about anything that comes to mind or that i’m interested in. feel free to pitch in..i’m open to facts and interesting arguments.