love with no place to go

naomi miller, forty-one, florist and mother.

[naomitheestallion]

[naomitheestallion]

[isaacbendavid]

When Isaac was a young boy, he and his father would often frequent the record store. Levi had helped his son cultivate a rather extensive record collection. A collection that, due to its size and scale, had not accompanied Isaac to Israel in the years he had lived there. But now with an apartment of his own, Isaac had begun to unpack and organize his collection. He found that as of late, it was a great way to wind down for the evening after Noah was put to bed, putting on a new record and putting off sleep himself until it was played to its end. His taste in music was eclectic, to say the least. Though if asked, he would never own up to the amount of show tunes he was in possession of for the sake of self-preservation. 

He must have been in the record store for the better part of an hour when the old-school bed above the door chimed, marking another entrance. He was fully entrenched in his own world, happily flipping through vinyls until something caught his eye. It wasn’t music, but instead, a presence he felt even before he saw it out of more than his peripheral. There she was: resplendent, lovely, completely the same. Not that she might have changed, but Isaac had been respectful in keeping his distance from the Miller clan, which meant that stolen glances or moments of longing had been stifled. But now, by chance alone, they found themselves in the same place, beyond the walls of Temple Beth-El, out in the real world again. Clearing his throat, Isaac looked to Naomi with a genuine smile. “I suppose it’s simply time to surrender the concept that I can out into the world undiscovered.” He released the vinyl stack he’d been propping up, letting them fall back into their rightful place, resting at a slight angle. “Not that it’s not nice to see you. It’s actually extremely lovely to see you.”

@naomitheestallion​

[naomitheestallion]

In the months that had passed since things had ended with Isaac, Naomi had thought and overthought through any and every misstep she could have made. Perhaps she’d moved too quickly, determined to get her life back in order in the wake of Peter’s death. Perhaps she had been willfully ignorant to Dahlia’s struggle to accept that Naomi might date again. Perhaps she had mistaken infatuation with genuine interest in someone else. After more sleepless nights than she would admit to, Naomi faced a truth: she would likely never know exactly where she’d gone wrong, and it was time to accept that her budding relationship with Isaac was over. So she’d channeled her energy into motherhood, throwing herself into strengthening her relationship with her daughters. Perhaps to their chagrin.  

She’d been considering getting a cheap-ish turntable for her daughters, now that Dahlia and Marigold were showing an interest in the vinyl collection she’d built with Peter. Something just for them, that they would have to take care of on their own, and with a few of their own albums to play when they wanted. She had wandered over to the pop selection, perusing the offerings, when she caught a familiar mop of hair from the corner of her eye. She focused her gaze on the record in front of her, unsure if Isaac would even want to acknowledge her, until he cleared his throat and Naomi was forced to fully face him outside of temple for the first time. He looked exactly as handsome as she’d remembered, and his smile was still just as disarming as it had been the first time he’d directed it her way. “I -- it’s nice to see you,” she agreed, her voice softer than she’d intended it to be. “Are you, um, looking for anything in particular?” she asked, seeking a safe topic of discussion, one that wouldn’t be emotionally charged. “Or just killing time like I am?”

[naomitheestallion]

kevinnor​:

※

It made sense, on one level, why Naomi had refused his offer, and though Kevin couldn’t contain his suspicion that there was more to it than just the large order, or using a company card, there was nothing to be gained by debating the point. “Lucky group to be getting treated to lunch from here,” he observed, acknowledging her excuse with the faintest hint of a smile. “I guess I should thank you for saving my bank account.” If not for the reaction that still stung, even if he wished it were otherwise. It would’ve been nice if he could brush off that No, but there was a stiffness to his posture now that even a well-meaning follow up couldn’t shake free. “I’ve been doing well,” he answered honestly. “I love this time of year, and … I can’t complain, really.” He hesitated for a moment, then added, “And you? How’ve you been?”

“Every once in a while, it’s nice for everyone to get lunch. We usually go over the quarter, talk about any major projects or updates ...” Naomi trailed off, shrugging a shoulder, and began fishing in her pocket for the list of sandwiches everyone wanted. “Maybe a bribe to get everyone to come for the meeting, but I don’t mind.” Maybe it was too much of an explanation, but Naomi was still embarrassed at how she reacted to the sight of Kevin, and may have been overcompensating. “You can take that money and buy Isla Jean a drink, or something,” she added after a beat. With the mention of the change in season, Naomi relaxed, eager to jump into a new topic of conversation. “There’s so much to love about fall,” she agreed easily. “The aster and pansy blooms this time of year are so lovely and colorful. And -- oh, I’m doing fine,” she answered, forcing the cheer. “I’m keeping busy, keeping track of all my daughters’ activities. School has kept them occupied. And you, how is your school year going?” 

[nataliedawson]

isla-jean​:

CLOSED START FOR: @nataliedawson​ & naomi miller LOCATION: isla jean’s home, humboldt hills

One of the perks of having a large yard was the ability to set up tents and let Frankie and Naomi’s girls camp out under the stars while still in close proximity. But more than that, it enabled Isla Jean, Naomi, and the addition of Natalie, Isla Jean was happy to have a night with Frankie happily preoccupied and with her friends and Isla Jean able to simply relax. She hadn’t glanced at her phone since the girls had come over, but was certain Kevin was surviving an evening without her all the same. Finishing her task of grabbing another bottle of rosé from the fridge, Isla Jean made her way back for the living room where the other two women were situated, snapping off the twist-cap to tend to everyone’s glasses.

“I don’t hear any more giggling, so I’d say those gremlins are passed out right about now.” She stated with a smile as the wine sloshed into Natalie’s glass, and then Naomi’s. “Which also means it’s the safest it’s ever been to start grilling one another.”

-

Natalie had always been a bit of a loner, so to be in the company of other woman, especially now, was a welcome reprieve from the norm. Most of the time, she sat back and watched Isla Jean and Naomi carry on, interested more in the happenings of their lives than her own, fascinated to see how they managed to balance everything. She was not interested in deviating from that norm tonight, and, as she brought her wine glass back toward her, careful not to spill any of Isla Jean’s generous pour, she shook her head. “Grilling one another, huh?” She smirked, bemused by the way Isla Jean’s face lit up at the prospect of gossip, then took a sip of her wine while she plucked a cheese square from the charcuterie board she’d brought. She’d never been particularly adept at girl talk, but she was feeling a bit less restrained with the help of their bottle(s) of wine, and it helped to oil the machination of her mind in a way that made everything seem a bit easier. She rested back into the couch. “Please, regale me with your romantic exploits. I’m going to live vicariously through the two of you.”

@naomitheestallion​

[naomitheestallion]

It was the first time since she was in school that Naomi felt she had an actual group of friends, and she reveled in it. How lucky, she thought, that her daughters got along so well with Frankie, that she and Isla Jean could simply bring their two families together to spend time instead of trying to navigate babysitting and scheduling and so on. And in Natalie, Naomi found someone she could be more than just a mother with, like her old self was returning slowly but surely. She smiled into her own wine glass as her two friends began to tease. “I’m not so sure you want to live vicariously through me,” she replied, bringing up her legs to cross underneath her. “Unless  you would like to have the conversation about why we are not getting a dog for the fifteenth time this week.” After ending things with Isaac, Naomi had been trying to embrace the discomfort of being completely solo, with limited success. “What I am interested in is Isla Jean and Kevin. Feel free to spare no detail,” she encouraged, tipping her glass toward the younger woman. 

@isla-jean​

[naomitheestallion]

kevinnor​:

※

Just like that, Kevin’s good mood disappeared as if it had never been there at all. Maybe he should’ve turned around and actually checked who he was offering a free lunch to, if only to avoid … this. Kevin might be generous in heart, and action, but he knew that sometimes the kinder thing was to not do something, to not add strain to an already tense situation. But if the disappointment sinking with his mood was any indication, even if he had seen that it was Naomi behind him, he would’ve still made the same offer, though perhaps not in the same offhand way. Things between Naomi and Isaac may have ended, but for Kevin, the awkwardness of that situation came that from the fact that he’d learned the news not from his friend, but from Isla Jean. Isla Jean, who assumed he already knew. Isla Jean, who had shared more of Naomi’s side of things than perhaps Naomi wanted shared, Kevin realized in retrospect, trying to find a way from making any more of a scene than that No already had. “Um, then just mine, I guess,” he told the person at the counter, too deflated to try to pass it on to the next person in line.

Several thoughts flitted across Naomi’s mind before she attempted to speak to Kevin again. Had he seen Isaac recently? She remembered him telling her that Kevin was his best and oldest friend. Was he doing okay? She’d considered reaching out several times but never knew how she might be received. Should she ask about Isla Jean? No, that would be intrusive and she didn’t think Isla Jean would like it much either. Maybe she should thank him, for accepting and welcoming her presence in a way few other people had when she’d dated Isaac. None of these felt particularly appropriate for a deli counter, however badly Naomi might want those questions answered. “I’m getting lunch for everyone at work today,” she explained after a beat, wanting to at least smooth the situation over. “It wouldn’t be fair to expect you to pay for all that when I have the company card right here.” It was a feeble attempt at a joke yet at least one that was relatable. “How’ve you been?” she finally ventured to ask, after another pause. Sure, she could always ask her friend that he was currently dating, but Naomi figured there was no time like the present. 

[kevinnor]

@eureka-starters.

location. Delish on 5th

“—with swiss cheese, and um, the spicy mustard, please.” Having finished ordering his sandwich, Kevin turned to the person behind him in line, and added, “And whatever they’re getting. My treat.” It was one of the rare half days where he, too, could leave early — at least to grab lunch — and Kevin had an extra spring in his step for the excuse to deviate from his usual weekday lunch of leftovers. If he could pass a little of that happiness on to others, he would, for friend or stranger alike.

[naomitheestallion]

Naomi shifted to pull her purse back up on her shoulder and had the perfect grateful and polite refusal on her lips -- she was about to buy lunch for several people at the shop, she couldn’t allow someone else to pay for her expense -- but when she turned and saw who was actually ahead of her in line, the words died in her throat and her smile froze. She cleared her throat, and blinked rapidly, and floundered to address Kevin appropriately. “No,” she finally said, too loudly. “No, thank you. That’s so kind but I couldn’t,” she insisted. It had been a minute since Naomi had seen Kevin in person, at least before she and Isaac mutually agreed to end things. It was awkward to see one of his closest friends, now. “I have a large order,” she added lamely. 

[naomitheestallion]

[feintheskyblog]

[nataliedawson]

Lumbermill Mercantile | OPEN

Summer had granted Natalie an expanse of time with which she could do whatever she’d wanted, and what she’d wanted to do, more than anything, was run. With her grandparents emphatic permission–and the assurance they’d be cared for by a few neighbors–she left. New York for a couple of weeks, revisiting old haunts and older friends, and then off to Greece for nearly a month, where she holed up in her rental home, drinking wine and listening to music too loud, sunbathing during the crystalline clear days and chasing away her yearning each evening, sometimes filling the void with a warm body but always regretting it.  Once again unmoored, Natalie had been forced to reconcile with her oppressive loneliness, the ache that couldn’t ever seem to be resolved. She hadn’t changed at all, hadn’t felt better for the time spent there. So while she wouldn’t venture as far as to say she was glad to be back in Eureka, she knew that, ultimately, her return was an inevitability–and if there was one thing Natalie knew well, it was that there was no point in delaying the inevitable. 

With the dwindling summer in its twilight, she was keen to spend the rest of her truly free time doing whatever pleased her. She’d ended up dawdling around town after an impromptu lunch trip had led her on a sort of scavenger hunt for more bursts of temporary joy, and, after a trip the theatre where she’d spent most of the movie crying in the dark, she’d finally ended up at the mercantile. She knew she didn’t need anything for the new place, of course, but was not intent on dissuading herself should something pique her interest. Basket hanging from her arm, she headed toward a display of homewares, eyes trained on an interesting light fixture. She was captivated by it, but couldn’t determine the attraction; as someone came beside her to survey the same wares, she weighed the potential annoyance of asking them their opinion, before deciding it wasn’t insurmountable. “Is this great, or is it hideous? I am having a genuinely hard time deciding.” 

[naomitheestallion]

Naomi offered barely a glance in the direction of the light fixture before she answered definitively. “Hideous,” she replied, looking at it once more and determining her initial judgment had been correct. “And not hideous in a fun way. Hideous in a way that will make it a nightmare to coordinate or match any other furniture or fixtures with it.” She almost sounded like the old Naomi, the woman who hadn’t much more to do with herself than decorate her home and piddle in the garden. It struck her as funny that she hadn’t missed it all that much until this moment. Of course, now it was considered a nice break to come to a home goods store and look for another organizer without her three daughters in tow, just to get a breather from mom and work duties. They were with their so-called ‘favorite person,’ so they were probably fine. Probably. 

“Are you trying to find a new light fixture? What kind of room is it for? That can help narrow down your options,” Naomi mentioned to the brunette. “And also what you intend to use the room for. You wouldn’t put a chandelier in a workout room. Well, I guess you could, but still,” she added quickly. “Plus, I’ll be honest with you.” Naomi leaned in and dropped her voice a bit so as to not be overheard. “Between you and me, the outlet on the other side of town has a much better selection and price. Here’s a good place to get ideas, but ... they’re not really worth the cost.” Perhaps the other woman didn’t want shopping advice, but maybe she did. And the costs of a home redecoration could add up quickly. Unless the woman was an employee of the store ... in which case this would likely be the last time Naomi shopped here. 

[naomitheestallion]

isla-jean​:

“Well thank god for small miracles, then.” Isla Jean was grateful to have a friend like Naomi in her life — back in Mississippi, her friendships with other women had been nothing more than skin-deep, most of them waiting for the opportunity to pounce on a potential weakness. She knew that the bond between her and Naomi was made of stronger stuff, of truth and of vulnerability, and Isla Jean could only hope Naomi knew just how much she was appreciated. “Frankie’s just been… Gosh. Difficult about everything. Even putting shoes on is like her personal Vietnam.” Isla Jean tried not to laugh at the statement, instead sipping from her wine. 

“Cyrus — he’s… Well he’s sort of been there since the very beginning — when we moved here, I mean. Frankie’s just smitten with him, and his son, Evan. Evan’s in college now, but, he’s such a sweet boy. Always makes time for Frankie when he’s home on break. We sort of adopted each other. Cyrus and I. And Frankie —” Isla Jean bit her lip, head shaking as she seemed genuinely reticent to share her next piece of information. “Frankie’s upset about Kevin and I because, well…” Isla Jean shook her head. “She thought Cyrus and I were, well, together.” She said the statement with a bit of awe, as if the thought hadn’t truly settled on her yet. “And though I’ve explained to her more than once that that is simply not the case, Frankie is feeling a little raw from the whole thing.” She stared down at her wine glass, lips pursing. “I don’t know that I’m quite ready, to share Frankie with anyone. It’s just so…” She took in a sharp breath, culling a strange stirring of emotion. Isla Jean hadn’t thought the topic all that emotional until she and Naomi had started speaking, but, there they were. “She’s my baby. And I haven’t had to share her in so long… I don’t know. Kevin’s — he’s so lovely. And generous, and interested, and thoughtful. And I know he’d be good with her, good to her, I’m just… I don’t want to scare him off, with all of this.”

Not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, Naomi felt a rush of affection for the blonde sitting next to her. At one point, she had resigned herself to just ... not having any close friends. The parents of children in Dahlia’s class liked to whisper about her, and she was older than most of the parents in Zinnia’s age group. Isla Jean was nonjudgmental, and the solidarity they shared as single parents was something Naomi didn’t take for granted. It had been lonely, before, not having other mom friends to talk to and laugh with about their children’s quirks. So she listened attentively as Isla Jean explained the dynamics between her, and Frankie, and the men involved, without judgment. 

“I think,” she said slowly, still processing what she’d been told, “I think that’s totally fair. Not to want to share Frankie before either of you are ready.” She paused to take a sip of her wine and swirled her glass, watching the liquid slosh. “But it kind of ... sounds like you already do? Share her, I mean. With Cyrus and his son.” Intentional or not, it sounded like Isla Jean’s daughter had formed a bond. Not unlike her daughters and their babysitter, she thought to herself. “Not surprising that she’d see her mom be close with a man and just assume they were together. I’d have probably done the same thing as a kid.” She tilted her head to the side and considered the impression she’d gleaned of Kevin. “Everything that I know about and have seen from Kevin leads me to believe he’d be wonderful with her, and take it all in stride. But her opinion counts for a lot, too. So I’d get it if she needs some time to warm up to him.” 

[isla-jean]

CLOSED START FOR: @naomitheestallion​​ LOCATION: isla jean’s home, humboldt hills

Isla Jean didn’t quite know how to take Frankie’s newfound ire for her and any peace offering she tried to make. There had been a brief detente any time Cyrus came around, his typical endearing efforts paving the way for some peace in the Elkins-King residence. But when it was just the two of them, Frankie was… Confused. Angry. Upset. It was difficult to process that her mother was seeing someone new, particularly when, in Frankie’s eyes, her father had been the very best, so no one could possibly hope to compete. Not that it had been Isla Jean’s intention for Frankie to know quite so quickly that Isla Jean was dating — but the cards had been dealt, and Isla Jean was picking up the pieces. 

Which meant that she was wrapping herself in a blanket, settled on the porch swing with Naomi, both women taking in the evening air with some wine. Their girls were passed out upstairs after a rager of a sleepover, which granted Isla Jean a little bit of reprieve from her daughter’s disappointing stare. “You and the girls were a total lifesaver tonight.” Isla Jean stated with a note of gratitude. “I’m persona non grata with Frankie at the moment.” She added with a contemplative stare cast into the night sky. “And I’ll admit, we’re both a little strong-willed to solve it between ourselves. Cyrus has been playing knight in shining armor these days.”

[naomitheestallion]

“Please. If anything, you’re the lifesaver,” Naomi replied easily, pulling her legs up underneath her and sitting cross-legged on the swing. “The girls have been at each other’s throats all week. Having Frankie in the mix really diffused all that tension.” She loved her daughters, and she was pretty sure her daughters loved each other, but they certainly hadn’t been acting like it lately. There had been a lot of assigning the girls to separate corners, or threatening them with the sharing shirt that Naomi hadn’t used in years. This was certainly a period of time in motherhood that covered the worse part of for better or worse, and Naomi could only hope it would sort itself out in time. Sooner, rather than later. 

“What’s going on with our Frankie?” she asked casually, taking a sip from her wine glass. “She seemed okay tonight; at least, I didn’t notice anything.” Not that it counted for a whole lot, given that she wasn’t the girl’s mother. “Hmm. Cyrus? Cyrus. I remember hearing about him,” Naomi said with a nod. She could almost remember meeting him, perhaps in passing. “He’s the one who’s been saving the day for you guys lately. Huh.” She tilted her head to the side and pursed her lips as she fell into thoughtful silence for a brief moment. “Not something you’d go to Kevin for, or are you not at that point yet to ask for his help?”