And could we meet here / until the end of Time? @napkinsandnotepads - Tumblr Blog

Listen/purchase: Cio D'Or - Polar Q by Cio D'Or

We'll ride the spiral to the end And may just go where no one's been Spiral out, keep going Spiral out, keep going Spiral out, keep going Spiral out, keep going

Tool, Lateralus

hazardous and nervous

I have been getting into Ableton It’s a wormhole hobby which distracts me from my depression. All my best thoughts are when I am literally hungry. Follow me on Soundcloud @hungrythoughts

#music #soundcloud #sadtechno #ableton

Listen/purchase: Teenages by Qasim Naqvi

Quarantine Diary pt 2

Often, I go into deep slumbers and wake up to find that it is dark outside. It’s easier to breathe on most days. When it’s not, my immediate reaction is to lie down with my face buried in the pillow. The repeated gif of a gun shooting into my temple keeps playing back. The stomach churns, i feel extremely small and curl up inside. I dont feel like speaking. I dont feel like doing much, the brain shuts off. It’s the body's response to not thinking about death, or how easier it would be to not breathe at all. The mind sails solo on this lazy river, no amount of distractions are enough, it is difficult to focus on anything at all. Even swallowing your own spit is a task. When I wake up, i dont remember when i went off to sleep. Is it sleep, if you feel tired after waking up? I want to share these thoughts with you, you said you would help if i ever had them. But i dont want to feel any more unwanted than I do now. 27.4.20

If hip hop has the following, I would enjoy it

1. Beats which sounds like chairs being rearranged 2. Your flow is you stuttering, being nervous or anxious 3. Your themes are depression, ennui and generally avoiding people 4. wordplay

The new Strokes album makes me want to dance. Friday’s are easier than other days. I dont even have to leave the house.

#thestrokes

Selected Ambient Works Vol.3

j-g-marshall

(Don’t let the dragon) Draag on artwork

napkinsandnotepads

Outside’s a trip For another day

Quarantine Diary - Excerpts

Quarantine diary 5:29 AM

22.3.2020

It is around 4 AM when you’ve been up all night that your mind starts doing strange things to you. It starts to evaluate your entire lifestyle, you decide what youre going to change about the way you live after you wake up at 11 and have breakfast at 12. It is at 4 AM that you decide that your running train of thoughts, the flow of consciousness which you have curated through hours of drug abuse is worth noting down. It is at 4 AM that you think that all your thoughts have the potential to end up in a novel - one which would inspire epiphanies for other people who would stay up all night to read them. Do you see this endless cycle? Every thought you have at 4 AM is like ouroboros, it will eventually return to where it started, leaving you in a cesspool of your own confusion. I must make a habit of writing regularly, i must use this time as a whetstone for the mind. Without routine, my mind will become like tumbleweed, rolling endlessly through the desolate western landscape of a dilapidated movie set.

23.3.2020

2.07 AM Its getting difficult to breathe again. Why do I depend so much on the behaviour of others to feel good about myself. I will be riding the waves of mental happiness even if its a small little gesture, a name which pops up after a long time in your insta story seen list, a post someone shares, some form of virtual interaction with the person I like. It doesnt even have to count as an interaction. Just the mere presence makes me feel like I can breathe normally. I am having difficulty organising my thoughts, they are rushing through my head, making the walls hurt. I havent felt like this in a long time. My mental state is exacerbated by the sheer amount of people who paraded the streets today, I dont know how many got infected today, the symptoms wont show for a couple of days, then the numbers will rise and this lockdown will get extended.

Distraction distraction distraction GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA

#quarantine