narcissisism @narcissisism - Tumblr Blog

espantajerias

Raymond Pettibon.

it was cool having multiple partners for a while but I'm chilling rn. think I'm lowkey horny for monogamy

want to be psychotically devoted to my partner/collared/kept/put on a leash want to be a good boy woof bark etc

Hey I’m ready to surrender to new and expansive love alright???

deftkitten

trailcams

“This is why they’re called kangaroo #rats. BOOOING!!!“

this blog is just becoming like a place to dump my autism feelings lmao

the neurodivergent experience reminds me so much of how you internalize the male gaze. Like, seeing yourself how a man would see you instead of how you see yourself. "You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur." (Margaret Atwood). Which I've been dealing with my whole life as an afab queer person, and still trying to shake as I navigate facets of my identity. especially since I hang out with mostly cis dudes (lol, that's always been the case for me tho)

I feel like being autistic similarly makes me view myself how a neurotypical person might, except I have no fucking idea how neurotypical people will see things, so it doesn't serve me at all besides making me feel like shit. Like I'll never actually know if I'm doing things right or not because I'm not neurotypical. It makes all the masking seem so futile. But it also affects me when I'm alone - I avoid all the things that aren't 'normal', that I know other people don't do. I take away my own comfort for the comfort of an imagined neurotypical audience. I am my own voyeur.

I almost hate to equate the two things but I've also realized that my experience as an autistic person and my queer experience are totally intertwined. I also feel that self-surveillance and self-repression are probably facets of many peoples' marginal experiences. feel like I subject myself to so much self-surveillance from so many different fronts that I don't even know how I actually feel half the time.

mothsprout

Had a dream that I saw this ad in a paper

l0s3r-g0r3-d3s7r0y4

Not gonna lie i actually thought i just scrolled past a tumblr ad for a minute

great-and-small

My only interesting/ notable talent is that I can make baby alligators RUN to my feet solely by making this annoying sound

roach-works

i don't care if you have fuckall going for you otherwise, please marry me

great-and-small

Because this is getting popular and some have voiced safety concerns in the notes (and because I’d hate for you to think me of me ~your future spouse~ as reckless), I hope you won’t mind me derailing this post to talk a bit about alligator behavior and what I’m doing here! The noise that I am emulating in the video is my attempt at the contact call of the juvenile American alligator. I am NOT trying to make a distress call, which is what a baby alligator would use to call mom for help, and is a different sound entirely. Instead, contact calls are typically used in communication between juvenile gator siblings that live together in groups called crèches. While a mother gator will certainly swim towards a hatchling distress call (up to a certain age) to protect her young, the other babies will typically swim away from the sound, meaning a correctly done contact call shouldn’t cause a hostile reaction in a nearby momma gator. That said, everyone with safety concerns is absolutely correct to consider the possible implications for doing contact calls in the wild, and much like performing bird calls in the wild there are ethical considerations that must be taken into account. I’d love to give my three personal rules for performing this call!

1. If your feet are on dirt, grass, or water, do not attempt a contact call. If you watch till the end of my video you’ll see a shadow that shows I am standing on a raised boardwalk with a rail, which is the optimal situation for safely observing gators. This way even if you somehow do make a sound that attracts an aggressive alligator, you are not at risk of a dangerous encounter.

2. If the alligator is less than 2 feet in length, do not attempt a contact call. While I did say “baby” in the original post, a better word for this animal would be juvenile, as their length and head shape indicates they’ve reached at least a year or two in age. You should absolutely never make any kind of noise to intentionally disturb hatchling gators that are small and highly vulnerable to predators! Once a gator has gotten to about 2 feet in length they’re usually around 2-3 years old and have typically left mom at this age.

3. If you are planning on interacting with the alligator in any way, do not attempt a contact call. It is imperative to both our safety and alligator wellbeing that we do not condition them to seek human behavior by feeding them. I once saw a tour guide call over gators using this method so that he could feed them cocktail shrimp for the delight of tourists. Shouldn’t have to say it but don’t do this! Don’t feed them, don’t touch them, and don’t get within 20 feet of them, for everyone’s safety. Wildlife is wild and should stay that way.

I probably should have spelled all that out in my original post so please forgive me the omission! Keep gatoring on everyone 🐊

(Interested readers may refer to my tags for additional information on the contact calls and alligator behavior described here!)

roach-works

op this is me standing on a boardwalk watching you ethically and responsibly do contact calls to juvenile 2 foot long alligators

me: nah they were wrong i'm not autistic

me: has a full assed fucking freakout because my clothes feel weird and i cant find the only mug i want to drink water out of

psikonauti

Sean Norvet (American, b. 1987)

Low Tide, Low Spirits, 2020

Oil on panel

wnwnmemo

patrocles

🎃 an ode to my horror mutuals 🎃

electripipedream

Luxury suite of the Andrea Doria ocean liner ship decorated by Piero Fornasetti, 1951.

wow getting diagnosed with autism at 25 is a rollercoaster that i sort of don't want to be on right now honestly

it's good because clarity about everything in my life and bad because... wow i really can't fix myself. like i'm just like this forever.

the idea that you can just 'unmask' and be free is such a lie (for people that are privileged enough to be able to mask ofc). you can't get by without masking if you want people to like you and take you seriously. so the burnout can be managed but its not ever going away and that makes me sad.