לֹ֣א נָכַר

I BEGAN TO CRAVE NO MEAT BUT MY OWN SKIN (HOT TENDER OBEDIENT) YIELDED TO TEETH (PERFECT SIZE) SPIT (PERFECT WARMTH) TONGUE LIKE THE FINGER OF GOD CURLING TOWARDS HEAVEN

[mouthbrood]

surgery is like if sex was awesome

[narcoticvenus]

[narcoticvenus]

[narcoticvenus]

i mean u are weird and creepy but in a cute way lowkey. as in youre harmless but still off putting. so it actually adds to ur appeal and looks

thank...you?

[narcoticvenus]

being hated by me has to be actually soul crushing. there's no way you can cope online. "all the bitches who hate me are broke ugly stupid never a perfect baddie" and then this perfect baddie fucking hates your guts. now what?

[narcoticvenus]

when people call this girl obsessed and crazy towards me but i know that all she wants is to just be pretty and she wants people to treat her like she exists. she just wants to feel special too so i just let her do whatever she wants to do and take from me whatever she can take. she's got a pedo weirdo boyfriend way older than her, has an eating disorder. when we met all i did was tell her she's worth so much more, i was very soft to her. my sister told me that after the very first time this girl ever saw me she had dyed her hair black because of me, changed her entire makeup and wardrobe to look like me, started eating less. that day we had met, she also met two friends of hers of 8 years in a store. she got ignored by them, hardly got a "hi" up until i approached them and suddenly she existed. their faces lit up. it's insane what appearances can do. but of all people i know that it's not your fault you're like this. people are cruel and mean. i love you, i'm sorry, i feel incapable of helping you. you take very beautiful photos, you are very talented in photography and you have a very special sense of aesthetics which is quite rare. i feel appreciated by you. if you were born in a different body, your life would have been so different. i understand. i think i am already weird and creepy, imagine if i wasn't pretty. i am very grateful, and i was grateful far too late, for being pretty. i realized it saved me from many things, most of all from myself. it granted me a lot of power. i think it's the one thing about me worth preserving.

[narcoticvenus]

fujifilm x100vi YOU WILL BE MINE

[femmedummy]

wish I was doing some gross kissing

[mariean2inette]

Milagros Schmoll for Jean Paul Gaultier, FW06

[gridmaster5000-deactivated20241]

you disagreed w me in an intellectually honest way. we're friends now.

[narcoticvenus]

okay time to kill myself

[narcoticvenus]

what are u looking for that u think everything else is "settling"? i feel insecure when i read ur posts. i feel like i have wasted my time and given myself away to people for stupid reasons. i wish i was more like you but im not.

i think i want somebody just like me internally. i am not saying i want another me, because it wouldn't be compatible, but i want our inner emotional worlds to be the same. i want to understand them and to be understood by them. i want that even when they hurt or disappoint me, they hurt me the same way i hurt people. i want to feel similarity and sameness even as they do that.

it's really stupid but it genuinely feels like betrayal to me if somebody doesn't share my inner world or if it feels too foreign from mine. i don't experience people very lightly. say i met somebody new and i like them initially without knowing anything, a certain pattern is enough for me to cast them out. it's very easy for me to isolate myself and "not count" the people in my life even though i am loved and cherished by them. i have noticed i do this subconsciously. i pick out differences and cast people out.

don't feel insecure hahahaha i am not better than you. i am far weaker actually. i do feel the same as you, like i have already given myself away too much, and just by having communicated myself in the world and nothing more. i guess it's part of life, whether you have sex or not.

[narcoticvenus]

the crust i got on this steak is genuinely on another fucking level

[narcoticvenus]

[narcoticvenus]

i have to stop being vague. i WILL go out of my way to stop being accidentally vague. i have not realized how vague i am in speech and that people don't always actually understand what i am talking about. i hate when people are vague and unclear with me, i can't believe i have been like that with others. if you asked me what i think about myself, i'd say i'm pretty upfront?

[narcoticvenus]

[narcoticvenus]

yay tennis again :3

[narcoticvenus]

the crust i got on this steak is genuinely on another fucking level