randomcat

Just a creature trying to breathe

[dusk-realm]

Snape laughs at awkward moments.

(Chamber of Secrets, Chapter Nine)

[bi-snape]

Lily and Sev.....sev is baby💜

[yuusakichan]

Half-blood Prince and his Christmas day staying at Hogwarts library 🌹

Don't ask me about the light and shadow, idk, just add black anywhere I feel comfortable with 😥

[sayssnape]

petunia: it's like you guys share one fucking braincell.

snape: [can't think of anything clever to retort because it's lily’s turn with the braincell]

[eatapplesfromthemiddle]

microbe

[fvkinngchudd]

is this not a single mother who works two jobs and never stops

[yurislop]

my honest reaction to this information

[rabbastian]

Kid can’t catch a break

[yuusakichan]

Half-blood Prince and his Christmas day staying at Hogwarts library 🌹

Don't ask me about the light and shadow, idk, just add black anywhere I feel comfortable with 😥

[eleni-anz]

the snapes are judging (you) 

[eleni-anz]

[sayssnape]

petunia: it's like you guys share one fucking braincell.

snape: [can't think of anything clever to retort because it's lily’s turn with the braincell]

[sayssnape]

snape: narcissa! help, i’m being kidnapped!

narcissa: where are you?

snape: i’m with some strange person. in a carriage. help.

narcissa: i’ll call lucius.

lucius, answering: hello?

narcissa: where’s severus? he texted me that he was being kidnapped.

lucius: severus? what do you mean, he’s right next to me-

lucius:

lucius: i’ll call you back. *hangs up*

lucius: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!

snape: WHO ARE YOU?!

[bigbunchofdunderheads]

Snape: I'm not sure if I want to be a father someday.

McGonagall: But you already are?

Snape: Potter's not my son.

Later

Harry: Dear diary, today I was disowned by my dad.

[sayssnape]

regulus: love is a weakness. it is an evolutionary mistake.

narcissa: you’re literally making a valentine’s day card for severus right now.

regulus, pointing a glue gun at her: you're on thin ice, narcissa.

[sayssnape]

snape: so if our plan goes poorly, where should we meet up?

dumbledore: the afterlife, i guess?

[sayssnape]

lily, trying to get snape and james to become friends: write him a nice letter! he’ll love that.

snape:

snape: okay. let’s write potter a friendly letter.

snape: [writing] Dear Incompetent Dumbass-