Snape laughs at awkward moments.
(Chamber of Secrets, Chapter Nine)
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@narutocat
Snape laughs at awkward moments.
(Chamber of Secrets, Chapter Nine)
Lily and Sev.....sev is baby💜
Half-blood Prince and his Christmas day staying at Hogwarts library 🌹
Don't ask me about the light and shadow, idk, just add black anywhere I feel comfortable with 😥
petunia: it's like you guys share one fucking braincell.
snape: [can't think of anything clever to retort because it's lily’s turn with the braincell]
microbe
is this not a single mother who works two jobs and never stops
my honest reaction to this information
Kid can’t catch a break
Half-blood Prince and his Christmas day staying at Hogwarts library 🌹
Don't ask me about the light and shadow, idk, just add black anywhere I feel comfortable with 😥
the snapes are judging (you)
petunia: it's like you guys share one fucking braincell.
snape: [can't think of anything clever to retort because it's lily’s turn with the braincell]
snape: narcissa! help, i’m being kidnapped!
narcissa: where are you?
snape: i’m with some strange person. in a carriage. help.
narcissa: i’ll call lucius.
lucius, answering: hello?
narcissa: where’s severus? he texted me that he was being kidnapped.
lucius: severus? what do you mean, he’s right next to me-
lucius:
lucius: i’ll call you back. *hangs up*
lucius: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!
snape: WHO ARE YOU?!
Snape: I'm not sure if I want to be a father someday.
McGonagall: But you already are?
Snape: Potter's not my son.
Later
Harry: Dear diary, today I was disowned by my dad.
regulus: love is a weakness. it is an evolutionary mistake.
narcissa: you’re literally making a valentine’s day card for severus right now.
regulus, pointing a glue gun at her: you're on thin ice, narcissa.
snape: so if our plan goes poorly, where should we meet up?
dumbledore: the afterlife, i guess?
lily, trying to get snape and james to become friends: write him a nice letter! he’ll love that.
snape:
snape: okay. let’s write potter a friendly letter.
snape: [writing] Dear Incompetent Dumbass-