A very short guide to being an adult
There is pretty much the only one difference between being an adult or a kid, between making a huge mistake or taking the right decision for you and thatās to have a good frame or reference for situations you might encounter in life. So how do you get a frame of reference? How do you get the experience to know what you are talking about? And the answer isā¦.by trying things on your own terms
Here a few example of important things in life and how to deal with them:
1. Alcohol. The best way explore alcohol is at home preferably in the company of a family member or a really trusted friend. Someone you trust to be vulnerable around. Try beer, try hard alcohol, try shots, try different brands, try drinking on an empty stomach , try cocktails. It will take a few tries but at the end you will know your limits, you know the feeling of when you are about to be drunk, you know how you behave when you are drunk, you will know your alcohol preferences. This is really important because a lot of kids feel pressured and end up getting drunk on parties or with people they barely know and this could be very dangerous.
2.Sex. Sex is very important and you should get ready for it. First read on it. Did you know that there is an a day after pill to prevent you from getting pregnant? Do you know there is a day after pill to prevent you from getting HIV? There are many resources that we are poorly informed about. After theory comes practice. First go and buy a condom. Yes buy a condom no matter if you are a girl or boy, lesbian or straight. Just go and buy a condom. If you want to have sex you need to be able to buy a condom without flinching. Second step is to masturbate. This is ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT FOR GIRLS. No girls itās not a dirty thing, donāt let society tell you bullshit. Explore your body. Learn what you like what you dislike, where you are sensitive, where you arenāt,what an orgasm is . If you donāt know how to masturbate properly do research talk with other girls. ALWAYS masturbate before a date. This can help you avoid having sex before you are ready just because you were to horny and pent up
Once you have foundĀ a partner again explore each otherās bodies LONG before you have sex. Have extensive make out sessions, go down on each other, use your hands, learn what you both like and keep doing this for a long time before you have sex. NEVER be afraid to talk to your partnerĀ especially during your intimate moments. Always tell them if you are not happy with something or if you are very happy with something. Make sure that they respect your consent. The minute they donāt stop when you said no or they harass you into continuing despite saying no is the minute you should come down hard on them. Ok that sounded dirty but I meant in a serious way. You should have zero tolerance for a partner that doesnāt respect your boundaries. And you should make your boundaries clear. Have a safe word that means stop immediately even if you are not into practicing S&M.
If you donāt have a significant other but still really want to have sex there is the option of experimenting with your friends. Yes this will be awkward and could put your friendship in danger but itās better then going and having a random one night stand which could be potentially dangerous
Also if you donāt have any desire to have sex whatsoever thatās ok as well. You are not broken. Itās ok to be asexual and you donāt have to force yourself to like sex
3.Traveling.Traveling by yourself can be quite scary especially when you are going to a foreign country. With cheap airlines, ride shares,train discounts more and more of us can easily afford to travel to dozens of countries at a moments notice even when we are teens so itās a good idea to be prepared by making a test run. Again grab a trusted friend and travel somewhere close. Maybe just to another city thatās close by. Pack your own luggage,pack your own documents, make the hotel/motel booking yourself, go to the train/bus station by yourselves(if you are American I guess you could drive yourself). Spend the weekend there, get lost, ask for directions, check out the local restaurants. Just know what itās like to be by yourself or with another equally inexperienced friend
4. Job hunting. Having your first job interview can be a nerve wracking experience. Especially for a job you want. So apply for a few jobs that you donāt care about. Where you donāt even want them. Then go through the whole process aka sending your CV, having an interview and so on. This will be like a practice run and help calm down your nerves for the real thing. Also be aware that a huge part of good jobs come to you through networking, so make connections especially in university
5. Safety. Be familiar with the law of your country regarding self defense. Are you allowed to carry a taser, a pepper spray? Are you allowed to record cops and other people if you feel you might be in danger? Do you have the number of a lawyer in case you need one? Do you know your rights in case you get arrested? Make sure you have a reliable friend who knows where you are going and how you are dressed if you are going to be in a potentially unknown or dangerous situation. Make sure to text them when you are home or if you feel uncomfortable. Send pictures of people who make you feel uncomfortable. If you are living alone at home make sure that all your windows and doors are closed. There are cheap alarms that can raise an unholy noise if the door or window is opened without disarming them first. Use them.Donāt be afraid to physically block your door. Locks can be picked but a blocked door can only be forced
6. Arguments. Always try to argue from your opponents perspective. And not just a fake attempt. Try to honestly demolish your own arguments. Learn the slimy debating techniques and how to avoid them or outright use them against people. In a debate approach different people in a different way. There is a different way to argue with stubborn people with kids, with old people,with adults, with trolls, with actually stupid people and so on. Always take a different approach
If you are arguing in real life always asses the situation. Are you alone with this person? Are you surrounded by hostile people? Is there a potential for this to escalate into violence? Sometimes itās better to either deescalate the situation or outright shut up. Your health is more important then winning an argument
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