The Nat Gallery

The Nat Gallery of Swinney. (Incorporates the Humza Temporary Collection and the Collections of the former Nat Galleries of Salmond & Sturgeon)

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Emperor Maximus Innefectus addresses the Unemployibus

This is a late Cult work created in the aftermath of the Fall - (the end of the Reign of Uselessses) and the subsequent reversals of the Cultish Empire.

A barely clad Emperor Ineffectus is seen reading from a copy of 'The Notional' - the regularlly published sacred texts of the Cult. His audience is a small collection from the many idle Cultist troops that roamed the land after the Fall. These disaffected and confused malcontents presented a problem to the Emperor's reign - many of them blaming him for the failings of the Empire, the Fall - and the resulting legions of the Unemployibus who were left without expense accounts.

From their demeanors it's clear that only the Emperor has a job, and yet it's not supposed to be 'keeping the Unemployibus placated'. For their part the Unemployibus look anxious, lost and suspicious. Doubtless their abrupt loss of travel and drinks budgets will have been enormous blows. As a class the Unemployibus were elite and accomplished state Scroungerati - stories of the fortunes they would amass each year were legendary.

But this work speaks to more than just an attempt by the Emperor to assert his leadership over a sinking regime, here Inefffectus is actually believed to be trying to stave off rebellion. The Clutland countryside had apparently become unsafe from him - with so many idle egos left wandering and ravenous. Many of them viewed the comfort of the Emperors remaining Parliamentibus redoubt with jealousy and rumors were rife that several were plotting a take-over. So Ineffectus had his hands full to keep his position while yet keeping the Cult mad and angry as the prayers of the Notional called for. The apparent resignation of the now expense-less Unemployibus in the work was clearly a confections meant to communicate that there was little to concern Ineffectus - but the Emperor's face tells another story.

The work is on view in the Nat Gallery. Prints are available from the Nat Gallery Store. Some of the prints are rare unsigned versions that have yet to be touched by the repeating visits by Unemployibus Legions.

© The Nat Gallery of Swinney

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The Fall of Uselysses

This Cult work from the Nat Gallery’s ‘Temporary Humza Collection’ is usually known by its common name ‘The Fall’. More illustratively is the work’s full name “Arrestsa looks upon Uselysses and Baldemort Contemplating their Fall”.

Uselysses, also known in ancient Govanic as Odiouss and by his Cultic title Continuetus, was a pagan demigod of the Cult pantheon. (Because of this work he is often also referred to by historical scholars as The Fall-Guy). He succeeded Arresta as Cult leader just as her empire teetered on the brink of collapse. The swift ascent of Uselysses, engineered by Arressta, was supposed to ensure the continued rule of the Cult; purporting to place the Cult in safe hands. Yet Uselysses’s grip was anything but.

In the time of these figures the Cult was deep in tumult. A series of disasters were undermining the faith. Tithes were missing from the treasury, citadel temples had collapsed and many of the captains and generals of the Cult were falling upon their swords - rather than face battle with mounting numbers of enemies. In this wakened state Arressta herself was pursued by augers (as was her husband, Petra - also known as the Great Magpie, and much of her personal retinue) so the unthinkable was happening - the End Time of the Cult was considered a real possibility.

This, then, was the world inherited by Uselysses. Failings on all sides, internecine battles and a loss of the will to fight. The engineered rise of Uselysses, meant to cure those ills, merely heightened tensions. In assuming Cult leadership Uselysses cut the throat of the Vestal Priestess in a gory ceremony. Normally this Cult ritual would pass without comment - but Uselysses was of a pagan temple so his ceremonial actions were seen as divisive (the ceremony itself was botched by Uselysses and the bloody head of Wee Free Vestal rolled off stage - a bad omen) deeply worrying the augers. This was rapidly followed by one message of bad news after another. (This even included the sick heckling Uselysses at his coronation convention. The sick would traditionally make up a large portion of Cult crowds and in the case of Uselysses’s convention, the temple was in Dundee where legions of the sick were present. Normally they would expect to be healed by attending the coronation of a demigod - but in another bad omen the attending sick were only made worse at this set piece event as they wailed in agony during the ceremony!)

Newly elevated High Priest Baldemort had also come to power by bloody means. His was clericide, slaying his predecessor and then making love to his corpse in a grizzly Cult ceremony to ‘show unity’ with the immediate past. This event too was marred as the corpulent cadaver of the prior High Priest burst open during the ceremony. The wretched stink was said to befoul the whole city.

Thus the artist brings us to our current vantage: - observing a stunned leader contemplating his fate together with his High Priest, Baldemort. The two appear dazed and unconnected, at least in thought, looking past one another - even as they are clearly intertwined and thus likely to fall together. The artist tells us through each vacant gaze that neither is able to comprehend their true situation. Arressta is trapped in the background, yet anppears overshadowing all. She is unable to help the two doomed figures, or indeed herself. This is an epic tragedy unfolding before our eyes.

On the composition

At first glance there is a homoerotic quality to the two barely clothed central figures. But this is misleading. As clearly seen by the visual allusion to the phallus rising from behind their heads - we are informed they are not interested in dick, they in fact are dicks. Point of fact much was written about Uselysses and Baldemort each being lovers only of themselves. Both were initiated into the Cult Inner Ring - the Narcissi. (The highest rings of the Cult were the Egoi, the Corrupti and the Narcissi. Uselysses and Baldemort were initiates of all three. Neither was known to be admitted to the lower Cult rings of the Pervi or the Suggesti. So an interpretation of homoerotic undertones here, despite their obvious preening, would be erroneous).

Both central leaders are stripped bare, exposed as it were - an artistic allusion to the loss of their powers of guile. They are literally laid bare. Arressta, on the other hand, is hardly corporeal at all. She seems spectral. In other, earlier, works hers was invariably the central figure. But by the time represented in this work, her eclipse was well under way and the common title might easily refer to her alone - were it not for what we know of the other tragic figures.

The doomed atmosphere of the three is the overwhelming impression of the work. Of course one is uncomfortable by the sight of two preening men cavorting in public, but knowing this is their ‘death throws’ - haunted by their recent past behind them - amid the murky colouring, we are merely left to share a bleak contemplation. Just like the Cult leadership pictured.

COPYRIGHT ©️ The Nat Gallery

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Copy of ‘Lost Work’ - Nicolas Turdgeon portrait - on Display

Following his transition, as the first recorded gender-changer in Scottish history, Nicolas Turdgeon was also widely credited with destroying his official portrait.  The original work, presented to the newly self-created Lord Turdgeon by the ‘‘subservient parliament”, had been painted by renowned Scots portraitist Sir Henry Rayburn R.A.  However, following a grumpy and fractious receipt of the gift by Turdgeon, the painting disappeared and ultimately was presumed ‘lost’. 

As with many of the alleged crimes committed by Sturgeon (and later the self-identified Lord Turdgeon), no one talked bout the painting’s disappearance.  The likeness, which contemporary accounts described as ‘‘frighteningly accurate” was considered gone, until now.

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The Skating First Minister (also known as - On Thin Ice)

A bulbous figure skates across a frozen loch, blithely unconcerned that she is being told she is on thin ice. This work is both a parable of peril and an homage to hubris. The central figure is not only unconcerned by the danger of her behaviour, she is contemptuous of those signaling to her.

In the cold she folds her arms but, it seems, is unsuitably attired for her activity.  She appears ill equipped for her task and this merely adds to the hostile air cut by this frigid figure. She turns her head toward the viewer, without ever making eye contact, to show a grotesque facial gesture. She is unwilling to hear warnings and we know from this genre of ‘cautionary composition’ that she is skating towards disaster. Yet she skates on.

The work was originally acquired by the Nat Galleries, despite it being a close copy of the original work (held elsewhere), due to once popular demand.  That level of interest in the ‘thin ice woman’ has cooled considerably. While this ‘knock-off’ minister was still considered worthy of consideration for some time, over the years it has been in the Galleries’ collection it has been increasingly ignored.  

As art institution are only too aware, it’s hard to rekindle excitement in a work - however novel - when the novelty has worn off.  This work is rumored to be taken from public view - perhaps sent on loan to an international location where it’s novelty has not worn of and it’s appeal is not so thin as now seems the case in the Nat Galleries.

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‘Two Wimmin Lying On Pensions’

A seminal work about the ease with which some women lie about all the time.

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“The Burning of the Moan of Nark”

Also known as "The Revenge of the Alba-ites”

A Cult leader falls. Corrupt, loving her own voice but an UTTER FAILURE in government and as a separatist. Her ex-cultists were the happiest observers as she mounted the SNP execution pyre.

This disturbing work betrays the anguish and hate at the core of the cult movement illustrated here. Members and former members gather to watch their once all-powerful leader burn atop a blazing pyre.

This is a digital work, not executed in any of the traditional ways usually found in the Nat Gallery. The work, despite the apparent setting, is in fact very modern.

The victim was modeled by a political and cult leader - seemingly unaware that parallels would be drawn between her and the figure her face now portrays.  The character being burned is the notorious Moan.  A woman who’s background was one of the Nark (or narky) people and who though her own expertise as a party woman became known as THE Moan of Nark.

Her demise was reportedly due to repeated posing, boasting and self aggrandizing, as well as consorting with a corpulent ‘familiar’ known to steal from the unsuspecting. This dark creature - called a Murrell - vanished after being almost caught, but not before sacks of loot also vanished. The Moan was suspected as aiding its escape.  Ultimately she failed all her guardians and lost their protection - thereafter being tried by the people.

She was also charged with use of witchcraft to kill large numbers of the old and defenseless - as a way to rob the countryside of their good will.

The clean lines of the work are meant to convey a clean break with this dark period.  No one - save for one misguided guard - appears to lament the ending of the The Moan’s reign. But the evident glee of the Alba-ites (former moaning Narkies who were the first to turn on The Moan) watching the Moan burn, leaves a disquieting image, and a reminder that ‘they’ are still out there...

© The Nat Gallery of Sturgeon

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“The Alchemist’s Folly”

This work is also known, disparagingly, as “Fools Gold”

In this early Cult work, Pre-Schism, we see some of the major figures of the Cult together at their work of alchemy.  The task at hand is the fruitless effort to turn base metal into gold, an ancient mythology.  This romantic, but foolish, pursuit was dispensed with as a viable compositional subject, long before this work was completed.  However, Cult philosophy continues to this day to orchestrate the use of base materials as gold, so the myth of the alchemist’s pursuit is not a strained subject for Cult art.

The historical setting is reminiscent of the philosopher’s stone.  We see the trappings of ecclesiastical architecture, in the tracery windows and gothic vaults.  By such means the artists convey the religious underpinnings of the Cult and of Cult works. But this is not religion, it is ‘magical practice’. It is blatant alchemy.  Recall, this is the propagation of myth as contemporary message.

We know, as artists of the Cult knew, alchemy is a deceit. It cannot and will not work. Therefore this work is allegorical - or, upon further examination, a calculated deceit from the outset.

The Figures

Here, the apparently leading figures do not look out from the work. They seem absorbed in entire ‘deceit’ of the alchemy or in some other plotting.  The woman looks backwards at another figure, almost in reproach or as a didactic.  The kneeling figure is gleeful, almost giddy, at his own handiwork.  Unaware or unconcerned that he has lost the attention of his acolytes.

Our ‘conversation’ is with the lone figure at the back of the composition, the only figure who looks out at the observer.  Closely lit, we are invited to see him more even than we see the larger lit figure in the foreground.  If the three are engaged in a deceiver’s errand then, this figure is highlighted as the most culpable.  By showing him in dialogue with the work’s observers, he is exposed as the knowing agent of deceit.

It was common in early Cult works to make an apparently minor figure more prominent - mostly by use of light.  Here the dark figure comes from the shadows, takes on our gaze and defiantly stares back.  He is, in fact, the central figure of the work.  

When considering the title the painter has given this work, we realize that the alchemist’s Folly is not the pursuit of gold from dross (fruitless though such work may be) but it is the inclusion and promotion of this figure. He is the folly the distracted alchemist has created.

In the midst of a whole work of myth, this figure alone betrays the secret and lets us know this is all lies. Would the Alchemist invite him in if it were known he would expose their enterprise? Is the rueful backward glance of the middle figure a realization that the folly figure is giving the game away, blatantly?  We can speculate but remain outside the conspiracy and so we cannot know.

Interestingly, the model used by the artist for the agent of deceit was himself a notorious buffoon and liar.  It can be no coincidence that he was chosen to represent the idiot who gives away the deceitful pursuit of gold from dross.

© The Nat Gallery of Sturgeon  

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STATEMENT - NAT GALLERY

The Nat Gallery of Sturgeon is formally withdrawing from its catalogue the work known as “Stronger for Scotland”.  This work, which hung in a prominent place for over a decade and a half, has already been withdrawn from the gallery walls. 

Having previously vouched for the authenticity of the work, curators, authenticators and outside experts have now revised those previous conclusions. The work is a fake and we apologize unreservedly for having described and displayed it as otherwise.

Green Toxins

The reassessment of the work arose recently when toxic green paint used in the work was examined more closely.  It had been believed that the green tinges were in-keeping with the original composition but as their toxic nature was brought to light two things became clear: - i) the work is not of the much vaunted ‘Stronger for Scotland’ school as had been claimed by the artist and those who sold it to the Nat Gallery; and ii) it its, in fact, dangerous to the public to be in close proximity.  Both discoveries resulted in its immediate removal.

Staff exposed to the green toxins will be given appropriate medical treatment and any members of the public, particularly those in the North East from when the work was shown there, who feel they may have been exposed as a consequence of contact with this work - should seek medical advice.

This work has also had an adverse impact on those with compromised health due to drug or alcohol - and being especially vulnerable the Nat Gallery urges immediate medical attention (preferably outside Scotland).

The Nat Gallery of Sturgeon (incorporating the former Nat Gallery of Salmond) deeply regrets the years of exposing visitors to this fraudulent and dangerous work.  A fund of some £600,000 has been set up and is being administer by Mrs Petra Murrell of the Gallery’s Directorate.  

Scottishy SNPolice Scotland

The Gallery has also asked the Scottishy SNPolice Scotland to look into the fraud - and how it could have continued for so long.  It is also the case that the Gallery Directors may call for a public inquiry, by someone who has nothing - absolute nothing - to do with the Galleries..!   Of course, if as seems likely, the Scottish Parliament decides to also hold an inquiry, we will cooperate as fully -as you have come to expect from the Nat Gallery of Sturgeon.

Meantime, please feel free to visit the other perfectly save and completely authentic works in the Gallery, such as “World Leading Environmental Policy”,  “Covid Clear Scotland”, “Education is No.1 Priority″, “Completed Ferries”, “Ending the Council Tax”, “Greatest Bridge in the Wurruld”, “Public Utility”, “Attainment Gap”, etc...

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“The Suggestion”

This work is also entitled “Delusion Leading to Downfall”

This Russian work purports to show a Kulak (a wealthy Russian peasant) making a suggestion to a divine peasant girl.  The work originally came with a dialog (in the original Russian):

“Ты упал с небес?” “нет, почему?” “Ты напоминаешь мне Люцифера!”

Roughly translated as follows: Kulak” “did you fall from heaven?” Peasant Girl: “No, why..?” Kulak: “Because you remind me of Lucifer!”

As the text betrays, the Kulak may appear to be sweet-talking the girl, but it turns out he uses her, not only to feed his horse, but also his ego - by making her the butt of a joke.

At the time of painting, the artist was reflecting the power and menace of those Russians with privilege.  It was well known that Russian bullies would lure simple minded peasants - often women - into verbal, financial and physical traps.  Russian bullies had a reputation for ensnaring the gullible and this work acts as a modern (C19th) parable and a cautionary take, and to guide such simple woman away from destructive encounters.

The easily fooled were not considered paragons in this Russian lore.  Rather their gullibility was a matter of shame - for their families and their country.  It was commonly understood that there was a class of simpleton peasants that longed for myths and tall-tales to be true and by following a path of such self-delusion they would end up in Shangrila. However their naivety would instead end up in their ruin, and often in the ruin of their family and family-holdings such as farms. As such theirs was seen as the more egregious sin (pandering to delusion), and the greater hinderance to real advance in Russia.

Thus in our work the Kulak is not viewed particularly poorly - even though he is using the idiot peasant girl, and even if he insults her.  We are invited to consider her dangerous deluded nature to be the more reprehensible, thus her tragic-comic visage.

Therefore, as is often the case when appreciating a work for its greater context, we are invited to join in the condemnation of those who live on myth and self delusion - noting their desultory impact on the greater good.

© The Nat Gallery of Sturgeon

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“Promenade Dans La Cité” 

Also known as ‘Breaking Curfew’ or ‘Out on the Town’

The diminutive, almost comically small, figure of a man accompanies an equally out-of-scale woman in this luscious work.  The mismatched pair are meant to be seen as out of place in their sophisticated surroundings.  Their facial expressions betray their naive natures as they rather awkwardly try to blend in.

But there is nothing at ease in this composition.  From their awkward sizes to their awkward expressions - these two do not belong.  Alone in the work they look, alternately, into the open city scape or directly out of the painting.  In neither case are they at one with their surroundings.  the others in this busy place are going about their business, looking as though they have a role in the city.  Our two outsiders are decidedly uncomfortable (and faintly ridiculous).  

What is it we are invited to know about this rube-ish pair?  They are trying to fit it but their anxiety indicates that they know neither where they really are nor where they are going.  They barge forward, almost pushing into an oncoming figure, but their innocence (or ignorance) makes they unaware. They seem to signal a lack of comportment, they are, quite simply, out-of-place.

This work was painted against the backdrop of a pandemic and in this time un-related persons were expected to be distant from one-another - and most others in the painting can be seen keeping their distance.  So the worrying impression that emanates from this green-behind-the-ears couple may be well founded.  If outsiders ventured where they were not supposed to in this time, they were often subject to the rigors of the law, such was the concern about the then raging sickness.  Drizzle or rain was often used to convey the sickness, the all pervading malady that required personal protective measures, and this is case in the city streets we see here.  But our two are remarkable for their lack of concern and we are invited to consider their entire aspect as disregard for the mores of the time and the rules of the day.

The impression is that soon they will be lost or apprehended. And not before time, the others in the scene might be thinking....

The models used by the painter for his central characters here are of particular interest.  The male is known to have been painted life size, i.e. he was actually a renowned freak of nature at the time.  He performed in a traveling circus as ‘Tiny Man’ or ‘The Human Lapdog’.  The woman in the figure was, extraordinarily, larger than most humans alive at the time.  She was also a performer known as ‘Big Bird’ when she would take children for rides on her very long brass neck.  The artist courted such freakish figures believing they made for more noteworthy subjects.  In that the two subjects of this work were indeed figures of notoriety, causing the work to be somewhat controversial, the artist achieved his aim of drawing attention to those breaking the health rules of the day.

Note:

This work was acquired by the Nat Gallery of Sturgeon for free.  It turns out that it was painted with toxic materials and as a result was faintly radioactive.  Given its corrosive properties no other galleries were interesting in the work.  Fortunately the Nat Gallery of Sturgeon already contains one of the largest collections of corrosive works and is well prepared to house and keep toxic items in its collections.  With significant portions of what the Nat Gallery has on permanent display exhibiting similar properties, specific accommodation has been made for works that would be regarded as hazardous elsewhere.

© The Nat Gallery of Sturgeon

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“Stillbirth of a Nation”

This work, attributed to the earliest days of the insurrection period, is redolent with dissatisfaction and disappointment. Portraying the two central figures of the revolution era, it was originally conceived to be an inspirational painting and the record of the birth of a successful political ideology and of a new nation. The artist intended to convey the close dependence of the two, yet from the outset we see the clues to some contradictions even in the faces of the sitters themselves (as they are already appearing to think on different outcomes).

Scholars now note that this work was more propaganda than art. The dual portrait shows the sitters in revolutionary clothing. In fact, like much of the ‘facade’ presented to the public at the time, the clothing was rather more theatre than practical reality. As ‘father‘ and ‘mother’ of the intended revolution, the pair never really got along. He was not, as his attire implies, ever in the military. And she was not, as her place in the composition may suggest, ever comfortable with human contact.

Unreal

The two are seen in the throes of planning a campaign yet their canvas is blank. He appears hesitant, angry, disconcerted - it is as tho he about to start fight with some figure out-of-view, perhaps over his indecision on the plans? There is an interesting aside here when the painting’s alternate title, long discarded and unused, was revived by scholars. ‘Sunk by Sterling’ was the only title of the work for some years before an effort to update the work changed it to an historical account of the couple’s broader failure - i.e. the “Stillbirth” title. The Sterling reference was originally a direct reference to currency plans - or the lack of them. Hence, this school of thought adds, the blankness of the folio before the pair.

But much as our understanding of the pair’s relationship has evolved over time, so too has analysis of their campaigns. Fraught with incompetence and poor decisions, they each led battles that cost millions and yet they were never bowed by such losses. They appeared committed to eachother as much as they were to campaigns that never counted the cost. The sterling reference, then, also became a hallmark of their failures more broadly.

Into this background then we pour one querulous portrait, one entirely feigning to be honest.

The work had central place in the Nat Gallery for many years until scholarly research uncovered so many inconsistencies with the previously attributed provenance of the work. Not just the affection of the subjects was apparently fraudulent, but - to the embarrassment of the Gallery - the work itself is now believed to be a forgery.

Ultimately this was the romance of a doomed cause matched only by the romance of a doomed couple. Here conveyed in a work now condemned to be fraudulent.

This work remains in the Collection of the Nat Gallery, but now is only seen when accompanied by a narration of its fraudulent nature.

copyright The Nat Gallery of Sturgeon

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"Changing Her Tune"

This work, also known as 'A Lack of Conscience Enables an Easy Girl's Change of Tune' is a richly detailed illustration of tension. It might appear that the couple are being viewed from inside the confines of domestic life. But the young woman seems a generation apart from her male companion, and wears no wedding band.

In fact what we are invited to see is the tension - possible the break up - of two figures at odds with each other. She appears to have risen abruptly from his lap (as evinced by the startled look on the cat's face). But his lap is clearly somewhere she had voluntarily places herself.

He is laid back, perhaps now annoyed, but in no position to restrain her as she breaks from him. His outstretched hand almost pleads with her to return to couch in his lap, while he - literally - sets the tune. Her expression says it all, however. Her pout seems to say not only will she not be his lap-thing, but that she does not any longer care for his tune. Indeed certain scholars have speculated that, in her abrupt movement, she is actually breaking wind in his face - accounting not only for his look of what is perhaps titilation, but also the slight parting of his whiskers and scant other follicles.

The position of their respective hands indicates an almost improper display of intimacy as she protects her 'virtue' from his reach. Yet before this moment was captured, it seems she had already given him her all.

The startled feline is allegorical in that it portrays both the start the female seems to be exhibiting and the menace of the predator. The cat toys with a bird but we cannot be sure that this corresponds to the seated man or the controlling central actor - the pouting woman. For she is no longer bound by what she had previously done for him or with him. And, as we know from the title, it is she who changes her mind (and is unencumbered by a conscience..!)

Look again at her face. Her body. She tenses herself as she rises - possible leaving some miasma behind - and she is clearly now ready to play the victim, or the moral indignant.

© The Nat Gallery of Sturgeon

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The Confession of St Nicola

St Nicola’s Confession is among the many quasi religious works in the Collections of the Nat Gallery.  This work is particularly striking as a richly bejeweled St Nicola looks out with almost a modern expression.  It is not, however, as the title suggests a confession by the eponymous sitter.  In fact it is quite the reverse.

St Nicola was and remains a controversial figure.  Both worshiped and reviled in her lifetime, she was suspected of killing her own abbot in bitter rivalry, an act that sparked the Great Schism in the Craptic Church.

But this work is not focused on that turbulent time per se.  Instead it is meant to reinforce to the faithful that St Nicola was ‘immaculate’, untouchable and blameless.  We know this because of the trappings surrounding the central figure.  St Nicola is surrounded by a halo inside which we see several letters in the original Ancient South Govan.  

These letters are Govanic symbols for  “Hit” “Wiz” & “Nae”.  Concealed from the viewer - directly behind St Nicola’s mouth - would be hidden the Govanic M or “Meh”.  Taken together the faithful can clearly understand the message ‘It Wiznae Me’ is surrounding the Saint. Divine confirmation that whatever suggestions or suspicions of transgression, of misdoing or of failing, St Nicola remains herself blameless.

The devotional aspect of this work is therefore clear.  Adherents to the Craptic faith can remain committed to St Nicola despite any disasters befalling the land or its people.  She stands unsullied - beyond any criticism.  (In fact criticizing her was deemed - among the faithful - as deeply sinful. Not only against her person but against the entire land)!

It was by presenting church leaders in this infallible light that devotees were kept in line and encouraged to keep giving of their meager means.  Even the apparently incongruous use of the many extravagant materials and precious gems in this portrait, accumulated to such a ‘progressive Saint’, merely aid in showing her as a successful figure of worship.

For her penniless and ignorant followers, most of whom would be illiterate and unschooled in the world outside Craptic teachings, she would seem to shine.  She would be a beacon for them. A figure to aspire to representing the glories to come in the paradise she promised them.  How could it not be true - when she was herself so incorruptible and so bestowed of such good fortune.

Her self-satisfied look was meant to reassure the Craptic masses of the promise of a wonder-filled hereafter.  Would that not be appealing to those who confessed their Craptic faith?  Which brings us back to the title.  St Nicola is confessing nothing, for she has nothing to confess. (”It wasn’t her”).  The title instead tells us we are dealing with a specific sect.  Not the Nicene Creed, certainly not the Westminster Confession.  No, this is the Confession of St Nicola.  A dogma all of its own, unique to her and her devotees.  That is what we see here, and what we are invited to worship.

This work is one of the most visited in the Gallery.

© The Nat Gallery of Sturgeon

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“The Venomess”

More completely known as ‘Lady Bane, the Venomess, Prepares her Salmon to Befoul’.

This disturbing work shows the woman adulterater in the midst of a task, tainting a concoction (to go with salmon) to poison.  Her title tells us of her venomous intent ~ ascribing that to her by name it could hardly be more clear. What we do not know is who and why?

As she prepares a potion its only our knowledge of things not in the painting itself, such as the complete title of the work, that lets us know its meant to befoul a salmon.  But is this to poison only the fish - or will the poisoned fish be the means of a wider spread of her miasma?  We do not know.

Moreover, we have no indication of why she is so poisonous, we only see that she seems to relish her envenoming blight.  She cranes forward, awkwardly - distorting her figure, to effect her bane. Yet at the same time as she alchemizes her corrosive brew, she holds it far from her.  It’s as though she will see it done, but not be tainted herself by the chance splash back of her handiwork.

She sits alone, by an open window with an unsettled outlook. Placing her before a receding horizon in this way indicates dominion - lost or to come. But her uncomfortable pose implies an inartful endeavour, she may not succeed and the receding horizon represents a future lost.  Poisoned, even! 

As if to confirm, a series of troubled lions sits a-back of the taintress further indicating a disquiet with the apparently prosperous character’s toxic act.  It should be noted that the lion is a national symbol for the setting and we are, therefore, left to reflect on what that means about the national approbation of these acts.

Ultimately she is an isolated figure, lost in her plot she seems unaware that the sun has already set.  Hardly boding well.

©️ The Nat Gallery of Sturgeon

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“Conspirators Protect the Lying Woman”

Here we are given a fairly straightforward image and a title to match. At least that is the impression the work intends to convey, but this merely invites a deeper examination.  As with all such works from the ‘dark ages’, little is, in fact, what it first appears.

As is common in the style from this period, the central figures ostensibly occupy the roles set out in the title. But the population of this work is also composed of the ancillaries that accompany such core and apparently important figures.  These ancillary characters, painted in the form of celestial figures, represent the ideals - they are, among others, truth, honesty, character and ethics.  They are added to a work when there is a need to highlight a conflict of good and evil.  As such their role in unlocking the meanings of a work is key.

Here the arrows and the gaze of these muses are aimed, not at the recumbent woman whom we just assume requires protection, but at the central conspirator.  She, it seems, is the center of the issue of good and evil.  If that is the case then the first impression - that the woke figures are conspiring to protect the sleeper - is turned on its head.  The conspiracy is instead about the central figure, the orchestrator of the conspiracy herself.

A closer look at the central conspirator reveals that far from protecting the sleeper, she seems to be attempting to shift attention onto her.  A move that would appear the be convincing none of those around her.  As discussed - the ideals are taking aim at the central conspirator, while her earthly companions appear, in turn, concerned and dismayed.  The central conspirator herself is a twisted figure.  By this means - body contorted to show a desired direction (indicated by feet) turned away from actual focus (the twisted look backwards) - the artist shows us that the real conflict is embodied in this single character.

The showing of her foreshortened arms is a means to illustrate shortsightedness; an inability to reach that for which she grasps.  This inability, also indicated by the central conspirator’s twisted nature, initiates a meaning that she is exposed as unable - indeed not even trying - to protect the sleeping figure.  She is in fact the one lying, not the woman on the ground.

The central conspirator, it therefore appears, is actively engaged in deceit, hence the despair of her co-conspirators.  Thus the conspiracy is, albeit reluctantly, to protect the central figure, not the recumbent woman.

Allegorical puzzles, such as this work, were common when painted in a time of great deceit and when it might be dangerous to expose the powerful.  Thus we are invited to study the language of secrets and deception to unlock what our central characters are really up to.

| This work is one of a series of works in the Nat Gallery of Sturgeon with the theme of ‘The lying woman’.

©️The Nat Gallery of Sturgeon

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“Austerity Gothic”

Its apparently an ideal location.  A pastoral idyl - agricultural, bucolic, rustic and calm.  Or is it?  This disturbing work - Austerity Gothic - features two figures in a deceptive landscape.  They are dressed as though they farm the rural location in which they stand, but something is off.  Something - or perhaps a lot - is not quite right.

The artist invites us to observe how ill at ease the couple are.  The do not stand together - despite their proximity.  He, nervously smiles while she, calculating and cold, is slightly set back.

The title is the clue to the discordant note established from the first glance.  Despite the promise of countryside charm and quiet sufficiency, the dated implement he hods, the clothing, the absence of warmth in the persons or their background all point to the deception.

This is not a farm of bliss - its a failing sales pitch.  The goodwill one might feel for a contented pair of toilers of the land is squandered by the evident emptiness of the promise.  The artist has stripped the couple bare, shown them to be impoverished and with a vision of impoverishment that satisfies them.

Interesting to note that at the time this work was created the sitters for the two figures were themselves involved in a national push for decades of poverty in a nationalistic cause.  They were scandalously associated with views that would ignore people, problems, jobs, health and all other concerns as they hollowed out public life to reach a goal that transcended all else.  Separatism.

Here the artist uses that ethical void, the chasm vaunted by the sitters’ demeanor and betrayed in their faces, to paint a disconcerting portrait of harbingers of dystopia.

This is an excellent piece that haunts most who see it.

©The Nat Gallery of Sturgeon

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“Écosse - instabilité, hostilité, mendacité..!”

From the Nat Gallery’s Drawings Collection.

The artist is renowned for capturing the essence of his subjects with an economy of line.  Here we see (as the title in French indicates) the instability of a hostile lying woman.  The parallel with the inherent instability of balancing on a bomb (whose fuse is already lit) is not likely lost on the viewer...

The question this work begs to ask is - ‘how long can she last..’?

© The Nat Gallery of Sturgeon