“The conversation between your fingers and someone else’s skin. This is the most important discussion you can ever have.”
― IAIN THOMAS Congratulations. You found my blog. Name's Nathaniel LeBlanc and no, you may not call me Nate, Nathan or whatever nickname your dysfunctional brain just came up with unless I've specifically told you to. I'm 23 years old, a hell of a lot better and richer than you, currently attending UW Seattle and majoring in political science. Please take note that you and I are not "friends" and will most likely never be. Chances are, I do not give a single fuck about your miserable life and would therefore appreciate it if you didn't waste my time. Then again, I'm aware that most of you people have the IQ of a bucket of warm spit so my expectations for you are sadly not the highest.
"It might have involved taking all the furniture out of my room and fully decorating the elevator and spraying people who tried to get into the elevator with a fire extinguisher like they were a raccoon trying to get into my house. But I will neither confirm nor deny that."
[Bas makes a considering noise, only adjusting himself so much so Natie can comfortably grab his wallet, still touching him] That’s so cool. Little baby Natie was here. [Says it softly, happily, like being included in something like this is The Best Ever; he ignores the thrum of nervous energy in his legs] Delicious.
[A soft chuckle; he digs through his wallet for a $20 bill, lips quirking into a wide grin] Yeah, little baby Natie. Wearing his favorite turtleneck and a pair of mad ugly glasses. [Detaching himself from his boyfriend, Natie steps up to the counter and exchanges a couple of words with the familiar girl behind it before he places their order]
Mm. No. Did you come here a lot, then? I mean— I know you said it was a place you liked. [he rests the side of his head on Natie’s shoulder, looking around] Order me something. What’s good?
Yeah, I did. Me and my mom used to come here a lot when I was a kid. I had my fourth— no, fifth birthday party here. [he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet, eyes still on the menu] Pecan pie and coffee, sounds good?
Huh. It’s… not at all what I expected. Good, though. [He’s relatively calm, even though the ring is in his jacket’s inside pocket and he can feel the box digging into his chest and it’s hard to think of anything else]
No? They used to have this-- huge wall with bookshelves and shit. I guess they got rid of it. [He shrugs, eyeing the chalkboard menu that's hanging above the counter] You want to order something? Or get dinner somewhere else?
[Bas hooks his fingers around Natie’s wrist and slides them into his palm, between his fingers, smiling at him; Bas babbles at him just for the sake of talking, not because he particularly needs to know, squeezing Natie’s fingers and slipping their joined hands into Bas’ jacket pocket]
[He shoves his other hand into Bas' other pocket, curling his fingers and searching for warmth] Should've brought like, mittens. Anyway-- this is it. Nice, huh? You'll tell me if you're bored, right? I don't even know why I'm showing you this.
I tried to show Caleb a little how to dance today for the fun of each of us being bored out of our minds. Not exactly sure that’s what he wants to do at all.
Singing is my life. Singing is my hobby. If you don’t like it, then just mind your own business, asshole.
I wish I could, I really do, but there's this idiot sitting ten feet away from me who won't stop singing about angels and how he needs to "find himself a resting place", so.
I get it, buddy. You haven’t been laid in weeks. Don’t worry. You’ll get the D again soon. It just takes a little time. Oh, and I don’t give a shit.
Yeah, I'm not entirely sure if you're even trying, but my sex life is in no way relevant to the conversation you and I are having right now. Literally all you do is sing. Get another hobby, "buddy". Or better yet, get a life.
We get it, alright? We get it. We get that you know how to play a C chord and write half-assed rhymes. You've made sure that everyone on campus knows. Now could you please shut the fuck up and go play somewhere else? I'm trying to read here, in case you hadn't noticed.
Nathaniel, It hasn’t been a pleasure, but I hope you enjoy your life of being arrogant ass. You have been such a unpleasant surprise today, but unlike you I’m going to try and have some dignity in the way I speak to people. I hope I don’t have to endure you for more than five seconds in the future, have an awful day. By the way, the names Rosie Elizabeth Cotton.
Look, I really don't give a shit about who you are. The only reason why I'm still standing here, wasting my breath speaking to someone like you is because your brain works slower than fucking Internet explorer. Watch where you're going next time and we won't have a problem.