Nathan Woo

Nursing Major Soccer PLayer

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Finally, he sits fully inside, every part of his length invading a tight warmth that feels all too fucking good that every inch of him wants to move and build friction but he taps into his own self control to allow the other time and--and the command to move halts all thought process. Rather than question that green light, he opted for obeying the tone in their voice. Easier on his part at least.

Nathan’s hips went to work, creating a steady buildup of friction that flowed with expert thrusts both controlled and seeking more, pleasure, to sate the burning itch behind the hardness that invaded Julian’s walls repeatedly in a growing pace. Stemming from his pelvis outward, every shock of his limb gave a bodily translation to the groans escaping his throat, deep and raspy with the occasional curse and soft moan slipping out every so often. Intoxication of the euphoric feeling stumbled at the brinks of his mentality, but he never did lose sight of the younger under him, occasional eye contact and soothing rub of their hips between the firm squeezes, hoping to guide their attention to himself.

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The exact thing that had Nathan knuckle deep in Julian’s ass literally came word for word from his mouth every other moment the younger ever decided to open the mouthy set of perfectly shaped lips. Immediate diversion would be the result of coming across any ‘old flame’ that might happen to pass by. He honestly just brought the packet of rubber along everywhere with him. Just in case. But the mention didn’t fail to keep Nathan smiling throughout most of his tending.

On top of the excessive moaning of course. 

He could feel himself growing restless just by the sound of Julian’s moans but he made a point of sticking through the process a little longer, mostly due to their lack of lubricated help, but also because of the inexperience factor lying hidden between them. Julian hadn’t been touched in ages, and Nathan would be damned if their first time back at intimacy were any less than pleasurable. He wanted to make his man feel good, at all costs.

“You sure baby?” He asks even as he’s finally lowering their hips and relocating his hand to his cock, standing proud and twitching impatiently. Trailed kisses up the man’s body, naval to chin, attempted to divert all attention to him and his overpowering presence, while his other hand made quick work of unwrapping and rolling on the rubber that soon laid barrier to the nudge of his tip their entrance. “Hold on.” He doesn’t tease too much, knowing he also needed to be sated, enveloped, squeezed-- granted in the next moment with the ease of his tip inside, slowly pushing more and more while his palms set out to find a good grip on the receiver’s general hip area, groans ever present the further in his member penetrated. 

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He can’t get over how cute the entirety of Julian is, or rather how much cuter the man became once undressed and put under an extended hand of euphoric pleasure for the purpose of delivering and for Nathan’s own mental images to store deep in his mind. At the touch of their palm on his, he’s broken out of these honest revelations with a quick glance down then up, once the younger of the two warns against his pace.

“My bad.” He’s apologizing without full meaning behind it and instead wets his lips over when his length is tested and even positioned at a puckered hole, though very inviting, still in need of more work and maybe some tongue action or a couple slicked fingers since he hadn’t thought to bring lube. Who would need it to go see their parents, right? He obviously didn’t plan on getting with his travel partner at all, yet found himself dick to hole when just a little under 24 hours prior, he was not (or trying not) to think of them as something more than what they already were. Time flies. 

Julian’s hand proves tasteful in rubbing and he can’t help the roll of his hips pushing cock between skillful fingers, with the brief pause at their kink exposure that oddly enough sank the already tingly feeling of arousal down further in the pit of his stomach. On top of ensuring his cock was rock hard, the title served to put a skip to his step when he found an easy escape from Julian’s widely spread legs.

The trip was short-lived thankfully, since he knew exactly where he stashed his line of condoms, one loosely tossed on the bed after returning between Julian’s wonderfully sculpted legs that the pair of his palms praised amply before establishing a strong grip around them with a following lift in efforts to expose probably the most delicate platter he’d ever encountered, all for Nathan to eat.  Two kinks revealed just minutes from each other though one a bit more aggressive and intimate judging by the way Nathan dove into his preparations, all tongue, mouth, and soon fingers dispersing saliva while gradually working to loosen them up as much as possible.

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He doesn’t exactly sate his need to grope Julian’s perfectly sculpted ass, quite fulfilling up close as far as touching went, but his hands are restless and the expanse of soft flesh is forgotten for now to tend to much harder regions, one palm sliding up the underside of their raging erection while the other smoothed its way up silky smooth skin to thumb and pinch at little rosy buds marked as his mouth’s next destination of exploration now his space to claim, and only his.

“In a min..” He mumbles against the skin of their neck at the sound of the request. Soft smooches and light nibbles only transition to needy sucks occupying his facial attention heading a little ways down, while warm friction in the confines of his loose fist work Julian’s member in a gradual pace.  

He wants to keep going, to tend to every inch of their sensitivity and invade it with his attention to detail, but his own struggling member demanded air and more direct contact as opposed to the dry humping he hadn’t realized he’d been doing with Julian’s bare skin. An apologetic smile takes form as he lifts his head and glances down between their bodies, fingers making a quick pop of his jeans and zipper before he shimmies out of the pair along with his boxers, slowly but surely exposing his erection beaming up and twitching with impatience even after granted fresh air from its confines. 

“Much better..” meaning the dry humping to skin to skin, girth to girth that’s easily grasped by the athlete’s large palm wrapping longer fingers around, just as he returned his tongue to an awaiting bud, rosy as they were sensitive to the flicks of his tongue and smeared lips closing over with ample enthusiasm.

[kim-julian-blog]

          When it’s met with bare flesh, the hold Nathan has over Julian amplifies, like static on his skin shocking every pore. Nathan wants in and he’s going to let him. His palms slide slowly down the sides of their strong arms before nudging Nathan’s prodding over some – not sending a message of know your limits but of consent, I want this – both hands working at the button of the jeans beginning to feel suffocating against his groin, coming undone in a second with a pop. 

          Tears no longer fill the cavities of his eyes, replaced of a look of need, a look of want, a look of mischief as he breaks their heat falling onto the bed, quickly lifting his black tee up and over his head, discarding the hindrance keeping him from Nathan. With his finger he beckons Nathan over to claim what’s his, to take and explore as he pleases all with a devilish smirk tugging at the left side of his lips, oh so inviting.

[nathanxwoo-blog]

His attention is tested once their hands cast his own aside, making a point to take care of his inherent wishes for more room to touch and explore in more private areas, but he’s not yet allowed to dive in just yet, stalled with the disappearance of a shirt and the most alluring expression easily tantalizing the elder to come hither. 

A brief maneuver moves Nathan onto the bed, knees digging into the softness of the mattress as he makes quick work of removing his own navy tee. He then tosses it aside as he slowly rubs up the expanse of Julian’s inner legs, his palms flatly smoothing out the jeans from the middle, not dare stopping even as he nears the beginning of their thighs. His goal is to peel away the fitted denim but he couldn’t help the firm rub he gave the younger’s groin, teasing with a bite to his lip just before establishing a firm grip to their jeans and yanking them off in one fair swoop.. 

With those nuisances gone, Nathan truly began his handsy appraisal to Julian’s body, palms repeating their earlier motions with an added step further to access his boy’s ass while mental flashes of previous times of having been teased by the perky gluts Julian harbored. They proved worthy of their size, shape, and feel between his fingers, so much so that Nathan found himself hovering over his boyfriend, effortlessly lifting their hips  during his extra feel up while also trailing the sweetest kisses along the sharpness of their jaw. 

[kim-julian-blog]

          Thoughts threaten to rush in his psyche, remind it’s flesh suit of every little thing Julian hated about himself, every demon and woe that plagued him, every– lips are plump on his and he’s reacting immediately, instinctively, lids fluttering shut giving no time for antagonistic disagreement to wear him down.

          A layer of denim separates his lower extremities from their full bare touch, but it feels like fire anyway, igniting throughout his being like a wooden home vulnerable to the smallest of sparks– their spark nothing but vivid and blazing.

          Nathan’s pulling away and Julian’s leaning further, desperate to recapture the feeling, but his words halt him in place. Are you..? The younger’s worn out eyes widened. It’s one of those things, one of those things Julian’s mind wanted to instill a weakness, growing too attached too quickly when his heart allowed an outside force in. This time felt different, their eyes spoke to him, stronger than that of their words, Nathan wasn’t out to leave him in the cold to fend for himself or break him and he believed him.

          Arms find Nathan’s neck, forcing their mouths as one again, “You’re already stuck with me,” He breathes out between their locked lips, deepening the kiss the next instant. Julian always told himself he didn’t do clichés, but it felt like fate; his cupid bow lips fit too perfectly on their uni shaped, Nathan the puzzle piece he’d been missing. This is exactly where he was supposed to be.

[nathanxwoo-blog]

Seeing them so eager helps to relax him but also fire him up, a bit of an oxymoron to his own emotional reaction exposed by the way his lips smeared all over Julian’s natural pout, equally molding their lips back together so perfectly with a matched fire that Nathan also doused their mouthy connection with, his own personal brand pure in its content unlike a similar time stained in crimson hues. 

Travelling further down was his hands, antsy in their touch, feeling up about every inch of thigh he could rub and squeeze before his palms grew restless, pushing up past Julian’s hips and into the man’s shirt to gently cop of a feel of warm smooth skin, back then front, then down and out again. He couldn’t help himself from touching, exploring what beauty lied under those annoying clothes, first moves hinted by his poking fingers nudging the hems of both their shirt and pants.

[kim-julian-blog]

          Fifteen times he’s traced over the anomalies in the room’s beige walls, feeling numb– detached from the ill feelings lingering his person just before he spilled his guts. Was it numbness or liberation? Either way, the man laid there with some weight dispelled from his shoulders, feeling like he could stomach anything Nathan’s mouth uttered, malicious or benevolent.

          Bile doesn’t cast through their throat though, I can’t believe I know the strongest person in the world, heartstrings pull at his core, the organ beating loudly in his chest. Could Nathan hear it too?

          Their touch, the connection keeping them together, is left feeling empty when Nathan pulls away, but it sparks a second later, current flowing now from his thighs, their hands. He has to see, capture the genuine in their eyes to back the one in their voice, shuffling from his side to his back again, sitting up slightly with the support of his elbows just enough to observe, take it all in.

          The voice he’d grown so fond of touches him in heights it’d never reached, he’s feeling too much, things he’s never felt, and he was dead wrong. Dead wrong, he wasn’t numb to this. Tears revisit his vision, blurring the delicately crafted man filling the room in praises and truths of the heart. Someone took their time on him.

          “Thank you for saying that to me.” The misty eyed ex idol is no longer plopped up on his arms but sitting up straight in a déjà vu where Julian wasn’t feeling stretched from limb to limb, where his heart wasn’t burning and arching behind the protective layer of bone. “Thank you for not judging me and my faults but I’m not perfect, Nathan, you’re seeing what your eyes want you to see– I still struggle. Every. Single. Day.”

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He doesn’t look away for long after laying out how strongly he felt about Julian, because they’re thanking him in the next moment, something appreciated greatly since he couldn’t exactly word an argument correctly if they somehow denied his words. Mentally speaking too soon, Julian does in a way reject his implications on Julian’s perfection. Had he called them perfect? He couldn’t even remember throughout the spew of what he believed to be truths about the younger. Julian was right about one thing.

And when he does look at Julian’s face, the hint of his own personal weakness is threatening to spill from their previously watered out eyes, the remnants of pink in them and dried trails of where early victors salted little paths down their cheeks, and his heart wants to jump out of his chest because the entire sight of his boy’s face is hurting him in more ways than one because not only did he make them cry for the wrong reasons, he currently caused those sparkling orbs for all the right reasons. A rush a need overcame him in an instant, leaving no time for debate in his quick lunge that closed any bit of distance between his lips and theirs.

      You are perfect.

A tilt of his head for added comfort and sliding of his palms up their thighs deems the elder forward, reaching, and taking what he wanted, who he wanted, the grip of his palms tight on their thighs, and the weight of his lips molded as best he could fit each pair. His actions spoke for him, telling the emotionally worn out man in front of him to stop struggling so much and let his perceptions become reality. It told them, let me keep seeing what I want to believe because you’re the person I want to believe in. 

The connection lasts a little over a handful of seconds before Nathan’s pulling away, but not far now that he’d had a taste of what he hadn’t realized that he was craving so much. “Let me struggle with you.” He pleads in a softer tone, genuine in its request. “Would make it a lot less harder for you, with me than without...” His gaze is flicking from their eyes to their lips, hinting at his true intentions practically screaming, ‘Be mine’ without the sound to make it so. “Plus I really like you a lot so.” The faintest smile pulls at the corners of his lips, the pair that this time slowly moved closer in his short wait for an answer.

[kim-julian-blog]

          “Yeah.. I guess so.” They deserved an explanation, he was hurt too. Nathan leads him over to the bed, he doesn’t resist or struggle and takes a seat on the edge. The time it takes the elder to push over a chair, Julian’s out of his button up, strewing it to the floor, left in a plain black t-shirt. 

          Julian nods along with Nathan’s reassurance, urging him to let it all out, unfiltered, comforting him with a touch, a bond of his hand held in both of theirs.

          “Seven years ago I moved to Korea. I was thirteen– I put everything on the line to become a trainee.. I didn’t even finish school, I have a GED.” Tears no longer stream down his face, leaving behind red eyes and puffy features in it’s wake, he lies down onto his back, “I wasted seven years, Nathan, seven fucking years ‘cause my pathetic ass was lonely and tired of being forced in the closet.”

          A shaky exhale leaves his lips before he goes on, “It was my birthday, I got hammered, I let some guy fuck me and you know what the worst part is?” There’s anger in his voice, but it dies down quickly. “I can’t even remember it.” Nothing, not a single trace but a couple brief, unimportant flashes of the heated affair, not even the bastard’s name. “It makes my skin crawl thinking about it– I felt so dirty, I scrubbed my skin nearly raw for a few days… The guy took pictures of me… and leaked them on the internet… and I can’t even remember them being taken. The media outlets had a field day.. painted me like some filthy gay whore– I’ve had sex with two people in my life.” The shift in his gaze travels from the ceiling to the wall rolling onto his side, “My company eventually had to terminate my contract.. there was so much public backlash, my career was done the second those pictures leaked.” Insults and criticism, ‘go kill yourself’ and ‘you’re going to hell’ and ‘a man who lies with another man is an abomination,’ and the split second looks of pity he caught from his labelmates – the people he considered friends – before they quickly looked away, the ‘no son of ours is gay’ and ‘we didn’t raise you like this’ from his parents, he wanted to erase it all and he’d done so until it all came rushing back in a painful reminder a couple short hours ago.

          “I don’t know what else to say.”

[nathanxwoo-blog]

From moving there to training, to his admittance of only holding a GED, and then his description of the horrible night headlined everyone on the korean music side of the internet. Nathan was left speechless as he took in all the info, the main emotion repeating in his head being, admiration of the man in front of him as he tried to push away the natural pity bubbling up.

He felt so sad for them, that they had to go through all of those years pretty much alone, and then respect crept up over his sad gaze, firming his feeling for the other, throwing the cherry on the overly sweet sundae like he needed this moment of honesty to move forward with the man in front of him.

“That’s probably enough anyway... Wow Jules.” He starts off as his gaze moves from the floor in thought to their body laid out in front of him. “I can’t believe I know the strongest person in the world.” He’s kind of smiling, but he’s mostly serious because the amount of respect he had for Julian at that moment was honestly immeasurable. He releases their hand to instead rest his palms atop their thighs to grab the younger’s attention if he hadn’t yet done so. 

“I can’t believe this whole time, your uniqueness came solely from you. Something about you always spoke to me, and like, it’s all your doing.” He hopes he’s getting his thoughts out correctly because he doesn’t even know how to word them at this point, too mesmerized by the man in front of him. “How much more perfect can you even get? In the sense of self taught independence..of self taught everything. Didn’t you say you spoke Japanese fluently too? You’ve got three languages on you, who needs a high school diploma? Like those are worth anything anymore.” He’s running on a tangent now, too engulfed in the details of Julian’s life, judging in the best way someone possibly can yet not telling a single lie regarding his feelings about it all. “Seven years didn’t completely go down the drain...Seven years you took to perfect this person sitting in front of me...That I couldn’t have met otherwise..” His gaze is so genuine trained directly onto Julian’s and then looking away again with a smile. “Thank you for telling me.” 

[kim-julian-blog]

          Before he’s given the time to lock himself in the safety of the bathroom, Nathan’s hand is on his, Julian doesn’t fight, he’s drained, and another is weighted on his shoulder. His breathing flows in an erratic pattern, he’s giving his all to even it out enough to push out a coherent sentence, “…What more is there to know, Nathan?” His gaze falls to the floor, grip on the doorknob weakening, “I was an idol and I didn’t tell you.. I’m s-sorry.. I was scared,” Tears still stream down his cheeks, “I didn’t want you to judge me for my mistakes– I didn’t want you to abandon me.” So many people have walked out already, left him to fend for himself, but he’s never shared a connection with someone like the one with Nathan before. He’s fucking terrified. 

          “Please let me go.” He knows he looks like a wreck, he feels like a wreck and all he wants to do is sob and wash away the day’s woes.

[nathanxwoo-blog]

“All I hear are assumptions though...” He lifts Julian’s hand from the knob once confirming that the chances of physically fighting him were little to none, then takes it in his as he slowly nudges them over to the bed, his hand sliding down to palm their middle back as he continues on. “Don’t I have a say in how I’ll judge the situation?”

He urges them to sit at the edge of the nearest bed, insists they take the load off while he’s grabbing for the office chair to wheel over in front of them in efforts to give his undivided attention to the discussion he would make sure to happen today, so to end this entire day of emotional stress. 

“Tell me what happened. Beginning to end. If you’re scared to add something in, tell me anyway. If you think I’ll react one way or the other, don’t think that.” He set the ground for wishes, eyes scanning their features, smudged makeup and wet cheeks and all with a soft look of worry while both his hands held their one.

[kim-julian-blog]

          Freedom comes with a ding and slow drag of heavy doors prying themselves open, and he’s speeding through the corridor with his arms crossed tightly over his chest, as if bracing himself, protecting himself but words punctured his backside like bullets, an automatic loaded with incendiary rounds. “That’s n-not true,” A wetness brims the waterlines, he wants to be strong, he wants to be a big boy but he’s met threshold, barely keeping his wits together the past couple hours as it is. “I haven’t told anyone since I moved back,” Keeping the heat is a struggle, “I’m sorry– I’m sorry I wanted to live a normal fucking life,” His hands come up to his face to swipe over the eyes, denying their tears, “Where hundreds of people I don’t know aren’t damning me to hell because that’s where faggots go.”

          Now, he’s standing in front of their room in a frenzy, rummaging frantically through his bag, struggling to separate the keycard from his wallet, “F-fuck, come on,” The first few tears spill, he can’t keep himself composed anymore. Finally he’s forced it into the slit, green light allowing the to be shoved open and Julian’s reaching for the handle to the bathroom, desperate for refuge.

[nathanxwoo-blog]

Nathan opens his mouth to retort the broken response, maybe demand explanation, maybe fire another shot at their failed thinking this whole thing through, but he sees their arm come up to wipe their face and the implication of what they were wiping struck him silent to instead continue listening while his boiling point finally began to diminish. First an apology, then a very nasty quote on quote, and lastly a pitiful exposure to their lack of composure, all mixing up together as a weakness to Nathan's mentality. What was anger when Julian was sadness?

"Julian, wait." His hand is on theirs which is on the bathroom doorknob, and the door finally closes behind them, reminding them of how hasty the entrance was and then how private their exchange was. "Don't hide, please, I just want the truth..." His tone is unbelievably calm as he tentatively places a hand to their shoulder, attempting to slowly get there sights away from the bathroom and to the bed instead, where they can hopefully sit and talk and Nathan can get the other half to the story, the side he desperately cared for especially if they were crying in front of him like this, triggering his earlier hurt to resurface in a much more guiltier version where he blamed himself.

[kim-julian-blog]

          A lobby he’d been ecstatic to step some hours earlier turned into one he’d both sought for refuge and wanted to run from entirely. Nathan apparently couldn’t wait to get away from him though, long legs paced faster than Julian’s own. Well, fuck. 

          The elevator the pair stepped into felt like a tomb, imprisoned to either mockery or silence, excruciating silence. Words flew out of the other’s mouth, shooting for the former. “You already know what I did,” The younger shot back, fixated on the steel doors shut tight in front of them, refusing to look in Nathan’s direction. It all felt accusatory standing there in the small suffocating space, voice on the brink of breaking through his defensiveness, “Stop trying to patronize me.” Gods, their floor couldn’t get here sooner.

[nathanxwoo-blog]

“Yeah. Now I do.” He fired back, loaded gun of questions and hostile statements backed up and ready to go. “I wonder how long it would've went on for too, my blatant stupidity. So tell me something Jules.” The slowing halt and soft ding of the elevator delivered them to their floor, Nathan making sure to stay behind Julian as he continued on his line of fires.

“Don’t you think I would’ve wanted to know that little detail about you?” Dramatic emphasis on the word little, enough to alter his usual deep voice. “Or am I just not important enough for you to tell?” He kept on, fire blazing as his self depreciating questions played out his personal state of hurting right before Julian’s eyes, that is if they decided to turn around on the trip to the door.

[kim-julian-blog]

          The atmosphere circulating the small confines weighed heavy, tenser than that of the dining room previously. A dull pain settled at the back of his neck, prickles at the heart, and a tightness of his throat. He couldn’t get himself to steal a glance at Nathan, but a force of something otherworldly acted for him, an image of Nathan he never wanted to see ingrained on his sight.

          Veins protruded from the hand gripping the wheel, thousand-yard stare toward the sea of asphalt ahead, fingers carding in and out of locks, he looked livid. Julian tore his attention away, deflating the last few scarce puffs of air keeping his figure whole, staring at nothing but an insignificant mark on the glass with an aching chest. It was done– they were done, his lids lie weighted, every step he took always the wrong one, a mistep where he’d end up with a sprain or lying in a ditch.

          “Yeah,” He answers their question after a prolonged pause, voice not small but miniscule.

[nathanxwoo-blog]

With the voice of agreement, Nathan sped off without a word, hotel route still fresh in mind as he retraced the tracks towards the Marriott. More silence and thick air engulfed the small expanse of air between them, that once they finally arrived and parked, the first breath of fresh air almost helped to ease his thoughts. Somewhat. 

He realized only halfway through walking through the lobby that Julian held both key cards for their room, which made him slow his slightly faster pace some to keep beside the other. He took the liberty of pressing the button up for the elevator though and found relief in the lift immediately opening for the two. Next a long ride up would entail, and by the looks of it, Nathan teetered on the edge of bursting, or in other words, finally asking what the fuck he’d been hiding from him. And the whole time, the ex-idol hadn’t even bothered to try talking to him or initiating his own self redemption mission. Guess it was his turn to play a move in this game of mixed up feelings and hurt, and he just about came to an end of contemplating his moves. 

“So what else did you do besides study in Korea?” He asked from his position against the wall of the elevator, gaze fixing onto Julian as he finally relaxed his brows. The question had a hint of twisted innocence to it, almost mocking, but a generally serious implication. He really wanted to know more than what plagued his mind, more than the flashes of lewd pictures and bold headlines ridiculing the man he'd finally accepted his growing feelings for.

[kim-julian-blog]

          The whole exchange between brother and sister brought a smile out of the diva, the most genuine one all night. In the end, as per ruling of Mrs. Woo, Nathan won over the keys to his most likely high school ride, and he must’ve cooled off some, apparently dragging Julian to some place for dessert, some place he totally had no will to be at right now. The first night here drained him, he was fatigued and wanted to hide his head and sleep for as long as his body needed to forget.

          Something told him they wouldn’t be returning to the hotel for some time if the look on Nathan’s face meant anything. Then they were gone, Julian thanking the Woo’s for having him again and that dinner was delicious, he’d even offered to help clean up to be shut down by Mrs. Woo insisting it was fine, he was their guest. 

          Both Nathan and Julian bid their farewells for the night, always a lengthy process, before finally making it out into the night’s elements. It was slightly chilly out, Julian tugged on the cardigan he fortunately carried along. The silence was painfully awkward, unsure what to say or what to think… if Nathan even wanted to hear his voice right now. He kept to himself during the walk to the car to sitting in the passenger side, staring a nothing through the window.

[nathanxwoo-blog]

Nathan drove his old car, his sister’s car, with ease as far as difficulty of adapting went. His mind however, wasn’t at ease and judging by the way he kept pushing his fingers through his hair with his less dominant arm leaned against the door. The silence was unbearable but he knew he needed to maintain it to get some kind of point across. 

I’m pissed. 

  I’m thinking. 

   I’ll deal with you when I’m ready.

It wasn’t about Julian but at the same time it was about Julian, the whole entire thing was about Julian or rather J.UL. So many questions plagued his mind he didn’t even know where to begin or how to begin or to start off with his feelings or to let them explain first. Agony brought forward a slight headache that he wished he could just sleep off, so going for dessert didn’t even sound appealing anymore.

“You wanna head back to the hotel?” He asked, breaking the silence for a momentary check in to make sure Julian was on board. Though at  red light, he kept his eyes on the road anyway, his dominant hand still tightly gripping the wheel while his left hand rubbed around his mouth in a physical manifestation of slight annoyance, mostly with himself for being so worked up.

[kim-julian-blog]

          Accented English Julian listened to diligently, not interrupting or butting in with his opinions. Hell no. Nathan was allowed to befriend who he wanted, surround himself with people of his choosing. He was allowed to sate his desire to play sports, they were his passion. But Julian wouldn’t say that, he knew the drill, this wasn’t the time nor place. You don’t speak your mind like that, not in this culture, especially when you’re a stranger.

          Instead he nodded along, smiling in faux agreement until– ‘Your parents raised you well.’ He held back the wince itching to show on his features. Julian’s parents didn’t raise him, they laid the foundation, taught him a couple things in his years before thirteen though he didn’t always obey or act the way he should’ve. Ultimately, he was responsible for the man he was today. But that was okay, Julian accepted what his parentless life was. From his peripherals, he could see Nathan looking at him too, but kept his contact on the elder man, for the sake of being polite. Maybe he wasn’t ready to see the look on Nathan’s face either, though.

          “Thank you, 아버님. But you’ve done a great job with your son too.” He’s too good to me. “He’s a good man, very respectful.” I’m lucky to have him. “The kind of friend everyone needs in their life.” Purposely he kept romantic ties out of his praise, Julian wouldn’t out their son, he was smarter than that. Odds were they wouldn’t take well to that kind of thing and he knew the man’s mother had a suspicion regarding Julian anyway, his orientation was none of their business. He played it safe.

          Secondly, his praise wasn’t to win Nathan over either. He deserved their cold shoulder, he deserved the sinking feeling in his heart. All he had done was speak honestly on their behalf– without too much honesty. Dancing around the complete truth Julian knew he needed to drop, especially with Nathan, but this time he had good reason.

          Urges win him over, Julian finally looks to Nathan. Please don’t hate me, the younger begs with a look, I’m sorry, a second later, he’s looking away again, he couldn’t face possible rejection, or looks of hurt in Nathan’s tender eyes. He’s jumping to conclusions but letting himself down gently this way.

[nathanxwoo-blog]

Embarrassment painted Nathan’s skin in goosebumps, sprayed a light shade of pink to his cheeks, and also drew out an awkward chuckle in response to the way Julian spoke of him to his father. He was thankful once they stopped, half fearful for what might slip out in the string of honesty, half needing his modesty let him breathe some. Mr. Woo only nodded in response to Julian’s praises, proud smile on his lips as he looked from Julian to his first and only son while nodding a couple times, then announcing his great great thanks to his wife for preparing the wonderful meal, subject finally steered away from them as well as the uncomfortable attention.

Nathan met Julian’s worried gaze with his own lighter one, a mixture of fading worry and growing contemplation clouding his own expression while he picked at the scraps on his plate and forced a smile to show agreement with his father for the delicious meal that he really couldn’t even fully enjoy.

“I actually think I want something sweet now though. Haven’t been home in a while so, I’ll go out and find something. Katherine where are the keys?” Nathan announced, glancing to the eldest sister on the left of his position as she began to go off.

“My keys? You’re not taking my car! Take mom’s.” She tried to deny.

          “So in your purse then? Okay, I’ll keep them until Saturday.” He continued on as if she didn’t just deny him.

“What--No! Umma! Tell Nathan he can’t use my car.” She protested to the second head of the house.

          “그냥, 그것은 그의 자동차였다...” Mrs. Woo began.

“It’s MINE now!” Katherine retorted.

          “He’ll be here and gone before you know it honey, you can survive until then.” Nathan’s father piped in, while his mom stood clapping twice to hush her daughters then began to clear the table. " 지금 청소를 해야할 시간이에요. 일어나라! ”

Nathan’s triumphant smirk beamed at Katherine who groaned as she snatched his plate away, while Christine took the liberty of going to fetch the keys for him. He stood and glanced to Julian with an expectant look that said, Get ready to go, before he walked off to take a quick bathroom break in the mean time. 

[kim-julian-blog]

          Fate never fails to swoop in and kick Julian in the ass; the only seat left for the guest in the home to take was the one beside Nathan– it was expected, they brought him along and Mrs. Woo wasn’t in on the negative emotions lingering the dining room.

          He takes the seat without a peep, extra mindful his extremities don’t accidentally invade Nathan’s bubble. He holds his chopsticks in his right hand, left laid centered on his lap, to avoid bumping elbows. Jesus, he could at least give thanks to his parents once today, for forcing him into being ambidextrous. Unless spoken to, he’s uncharacteristically silent, zoning in and out though holding enough grip on reality to pick conversation apart if he’s being called upon.

          “So,” The woman of the household speaks up, this time pointed in not solely Nathan’s direction, but his own, “How did you two meet?”

          The first time through the dinner, Julian looks to Nathan, who’s silenced with a look he couldn’t pinpoint contorting his face. The younger holds back a sigh and starts, “Your son and I met at school, 어머님. I was speaking to an adviser to tie up a couple loose ends before the school year started and the man apparently had something better to do than his job. Nathan happened to be walking by, he called him over insisting I was a lost little lamb who needed help. Then he up and left and well, here we are.”

[nathanxwoo-blog]

He had no problem answering his mother’s many questions before, usually focusing his gaze either on his meal or to her as he gave brief explanations of school and work, but the next change of direction left him stumbled in thought since he was trying not to think of the man to his right side even as his brain automatically began searching for the first meet memory filed away somewhere safe and important to him. It forced him to glance at Julian for the first time during the dinner, wanting to speak, but then cut off by their quite detailed explanation.

The memory made him smile every time he thought of it, not even this moment changing his helpless reaction since something about the sarcasm and obvious flirting that he had ignored back then always tickled his mind the right way. He stuffed more rice cakes into his mouth however once he realized this.

His mother took in the words along with his two sisters who surprisingly kept their mouths shut as they ate and giggled while glancing at Julian, and his father then added in his support for the friendship simply due to Julian’s heritage. “Well it’s good you two came to meet. We have always tried to nudge our Nathan here to come out and make friends within the community, but he never could find the interest. Too hung up over his soccer and grade school sports and American friends.” The eldest man washed his throat down with some water before continuing, gaze fixated on Julian. “Such a well-mannered boy here, I can see your parents raised you well.” 

Nathan’s eyes widened just a bit at the last part, and he turned to glance at Julian again, knowing the compliment his father tried to instill probably wouldn’t sit well within Julian’s mind. Worry began to creep up as his own hurt feelings were pushed away, for now at least. 

[kim-jinyoung-blog]

Jin was too busy engaged in a conversation with the head nurse, talking about the young child that had been admitted to the hospital due to a tonsillitis surgery. The surgery had gone well, Jin had performed it excellently yet the child was stubborn and refused to eat or drink anything. He was proving to be difficult and Jin had strict instructions on how to make the child better but to not force him to eat if he didn’t wish to. Jin never forced people, especially his patients, to do things they didn’t want. He knew being in hospital was a stressful experience and as a doctor, he wanted to make him patients stressed.

Looking up from the notes he was taking, Jin noticed the intern walking over to him. Nathan, that was his name. Jin had maybe spoken to him once or twice - the occasional hello, nothing more. “I do,” he pushed away the paper and gave the nurse a quick nod before leading the other away from the ward. “What can I help you with?”

[nathanxwoo-blog]

Nathan followed the doctor’s lead while a part of him almost wished they were busy to avoid the entire scenario and just ignore his momentary relapse of questioning his own purpose. “Well.. I have a personal question.”

He stops the doctor some ways away from the ward as to ensure their privacy before looking down in order to gather what little courage he had to even talk about something this personal to himself. “How do you do it?” He started off speaking much lower then before, but then returned his voice to normal as he glanced up. “The paperwork, the patient care, the constant moving and talking about this person’s sickness or that person’s trauma every single day. How do you do it?” 

He knows he’s not exactly specific in regards to what aspect about the entire job that he wanted to know about, but whatever the doctor would answer would let him know if he were on the same page as the young intern. Only then would Nathan know to go more in depth about his issue, or just leave it at that, thanking the doctor for his time. He waited with a worrisome gaze in the meantime.