# rich kid, asshole, paint me as a villian

alright, come close ! let me show you everything i know. the jungle slang, spinning 'round my head and i stare. while my naked fool, fresh out of an icky gooey womb. a woozy youth, dopes up on her silky smooth perfume. right, my little pooh bear, wanna take a chance ? wanna sip the smooth air, kick it in the sand ? i'd say i told you so but you just gonna cry. you just wanna know those peanut butter vibes !

[natjpeg-blog]

jakobee !

“honestly - i just don’t like the way anything smells. so sensitive is a definite. i was thinking about just burning them. rid them in sake of everyone — but you know, pollution and such like that. i might just use them against my enemies instead. use my demons to create their demons. if going down in history books for destroying cardboard boxes is how i go, so be it. i will be the greatest savior of human kind that ever lived.”

“ the fuck ? ”  who was this guy ? and how’d he manage to startle a laugh out of nat without the usual amount of snarl ? “ aight, i’ll humour you. mortal kombat cardboard X edition. how many enemies ya’ got ? who’s at the top of your shit list ? — i’m placing my bets against you, you seem fuckin’ weird, man. ”

[natjpeg-blog]

jakobee !

“i mean — yeah. but if you enjoy something, you’ll use it more. thus - giving it more purpose to fulfill. like, i’m not going to use boxes more simply because the smell is absolutely dreadful to me.”

“ you that sensitive ? well, alright, prinsesse. ‘guess you can just recycle ‘em, if you feel that weird about it. save some of our shit planet, one demonic box at a time. a modern day hero. people will talk about you for centuries — the guy that did that. ”

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stevie !

“Yes shots are on my tonight.”

“ anythin’ else gon’ be on you tonight ? ... — or off ? ” 

[natjpeg-blog]

Sylvie had been practicing her audition piece in the “lobby” given that it was much more spacious than her dingy little efficiency. This proved to be an unwise decision as she tripped over the leg of a nearby chair and fell flat on her face. Hair falling in front of her eyes she could just make out some feet approaching her. “You didn’t see that, right?”

“ uh... ”  lying had never bothered nat. he’d built up a reputation in san francisco and deception was at the knot of it, even if the lies he told were predominantly to himself. lying to benefit others was where he drew the line, however.  “ yeah, no, everyone from the front desk saw that. ... — if it’s any condolence though, you’ve got a great ass. ”

[natjpeg-blog]

“cardboard boxes — they smell like the impending death we all face and the sweat of overworked laborers. i feel like if they smelled any better, we might enjoy using them. i’ve never heard of anyone enjoying the use of a cardboard box.”

“ right, so this is a conversation that’s happening then. i dunno’ if they’re around to be enjoyed, yeah ? just sorta’ exist to fulfil a purpose, don’t they ? dunno’ about all this— ”  a vague wave of his hand,  “ —impending labourer death ‘n shit. ”

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stevie !

“Well since it’s Friday night who wants to get there party on with me?”

“ ‘ay, you’re speakin’ my language. shots on you tonight then, yeah ? ”

[natjpeg-blog]

imessage: ??? — ??? — ???

ezra: i didn't want to be rude

ezra: but if you don't want to talk to me anymore just say something

ezra: and i'll stop replying

nat: bro something

[natjpeg-blog]

imessage: 💩 shrek's meatball 💩

CALEB: horse dicks are so big like that shit must hurt

CALEB: but then again women deliver babies outta the pu$$y

CALEB: so i mean?? a huge dong is nothing, right??

CALEB: i aint bouta taste my own cum, need to find me a dirty one to do it

CALEB: LMAO lush would ban me forever

NAT: u spend a lotta time browsing horse dicks ??

NAT: weird fuckin hobby my guy

NAT: lush needs 2 be revolutionised

NAT: if ur not bein controversial w ur cum products, ur company should choke

NAT: businezz is dead

NAT: end-o

[natjpeg-blog]

adriana !

there was a different feel to this meeting - an urge, a craving for something more that the blonde regarded as one-sided. it’s not like she was in love with nat but she was expecting… more? his input on his new roommates made her snap out of her thoughts, her final realization being her newly discovered sentiments to be just plain idealizations of their strange relationship – she was well aware nothing else could come out of it. “interesting - i’ve been meaning to go out with ada but we haven’t figured out a way to make it work.” she commented, just to make small conversation as they moved towards the balcony, sound laughter erupting from scarlet lips at the bas impression. “you need to make the accent a bit thicker for it to be perfect, y’know?” she said, pulling out her lighter and the knife from the pocket of her pants. after she’d tossed the lighter to the boy, she’d opened the knife, showing the blade at nat. “what d’ya think?”

it was ridiculous — fucking ridiculous, actually, and sappy as shit — that neither of them said the name, yet nat’s features reacted as though they had, lips twitching up in some softened version of his biting smile. this was a side of nat that was rare in it’s appearances, but probably the side that was liked most, the side that wasn’t saving face or rising to a challenge. he dropped himself into one of the outdoor chairs, kicking his feet up onto the table, sweatpants hanging low, looking every part of the fabric-conditioned, youthful boy he tried so hard not to be.  “ i’ll work on it. ”  he snorted, taking adriana’s lighter and a joint from the kangaroo pocket of his hoodie.  “ shit me, ”  he said, words now formed around a filter, managing to sound far too approving all the same.  “ you ever have to use that thing ? ”  adriana was older and perfectly capable of handling herself, transcending into more venom than woman when the time called for it. still, it wasn’t a comforting to know she had to carry weapon on her person. even if it was a sexy one, under other circumstances.  “  — can you do any tricks with it ? ”

[natjpeg-blog]

imessage: 💩 shrek's meatball 💩

CALEB: havent u heard that song... an oldie but a goodie

CALEB: was she sucking the horses dick bc same

CALEB: the guy version is somehow worse, idk how thats possible

CALEB: also have u thought if cum would taste the same if u froze it?

CALEB: would it be like an horchata popsicle?

NAT: fam she jerked it off w her tits then put the spunk up her pussy

NAT: r u being horsephobic rn

NAT: idk calzone, sounds like u've got a diy project

NAT: or a new product to market @ work

NAT: pitch it to ur colleagues

NAT: the cum 3000 - ice age edition

[natjpeg-blog]

imessage: 💩 shrek's meatball 💩

CALEB: 🙄

CALEB: what if god was one of us

CALEB: if you let that ruin shit for u...

CALEB: then ur a pussy LMAO

CALEB: why did i ruin ur roommate for u the fuck

CALEB: lmao have u watched that vid of the guy gettin fucked by a horse?

CALEB: or isis killings?

NAT: the fuuuuuuuuuuuuck

NAT: ive seen a chick gettin dicked down by a horse

NAT: the vid was only like 3 mins tho

NAT: didnt see a guy version

NAT: but im glad 2 kno horse is a genre

NAT: ur so fucked

[natjpeg-blog]

imessage: 💩 shrek's meatball 💩

CALEB: lmao u need to stop being so dramatic

CALEB: someone out there probably truly loves u

CALEB: yet here u are being a fuckin grey cloud

CALEB: get over YOURSELF

CALEB: .... it was weird and a lil disgusting

CALEB: u know, like me

CALEB: u should google it cause i aint boutta have those links on my phone

NAT: 👎

NAT: i aint googlin it

NAT: i dont want the sci fi genre ruined for me

NAT: u kno, like italian food

NAT: and my roommate

NAT: u watch some raw nasty shit

[natjpeg-blog]

bas !

bas could almost feel the weight of the four steel walls closing in on them as they stood painstakingly close to one another. the other occupants of the lift would soon be crushed by the enclosing supports, first mutton chops, then the gym goers, until finally it was just bas and nat pressed together in the corner, trying to keep their breaths steady. that, thankfully, didn’t happen, and almost as soon as bas’ claustrophobia could seize his throat, the soft ‘ding’ of the elevator doors let him exhale slightly louder than he would’ve liked. at this point, bas wasn’t even listening to what nat was saying, he was just thankful to be out of the metal death trap and back on spacious ground. so spacious, in fact, that he didn’t have to remain as close to nat as he did. pressing his thumb down on his knuckles to make them crack, bas offered his best friend a lop-sided smirk as they made their way out on to the street. “ya gettin’ scared yet?”

terrified, nat thought, not in direct response to the question bas asked. ink and the permanence of it didn’t frighten him, he was already itching and desperate for something to deaden the feeling of his skin where it stretched around his bones, and a sober needle seemed as good a tool as any other for the job. the part that worried him, that scared him, was the insistent need that it had to be bas’ initials inscribed on him, like a name-tag, or a return address. it was a foreign feeling, and a shitty one too— who decided that this was what liking someone felt like ? and why ? nat had cycled through four of the five stages of grief with his debilitating attraction to his best friend, always repeating the bargaining before getting anywhere close to acceptance.  “ nah, my balls haven’t shrivelled up, ” nat said, loud enough to warrant a dirty look from the taller of the gym bunnies as they departed with them on the street. he hadn’t seen which direction mutton chops went.  “ you got any horror stories for me ?  did ya’ cry gettin’ any of yours done ? ”

[natjpeg-blog]

imessage: ??? — ??? — ???

ezra: yeah that too

ezra: definitely not smart enough for it either

ezra: i don't know, i've never actually been through one

ezra: but probably

nat: so ur always this lame huh

nat: vanilla called they want their spice back

[natjpeg-blog]

imessage: 💩 shrek's meatball 💩

CALEB: why is everyone in love with you

CALEB: who are you

CALEB: ......its mr steal yo girl

CALEB: i cant believe everyones in love with you bc

CALEB: so am i :///

CALEB: it was black and shes putting it up her vag right

CALEB: and her stomach suddenly starts to move as she pushes it up higher

CALEB: i even think it was the pasta girl bc.... bro

NAT: o yeh

NAT: ✨✨ in love w me n my sparkly fuckin personality ✨✨

NAT: nah piss of w that

NAT: everyone wants 2 fuck

NAT: loves got shit all to do w it

NAT: TF

NAT: THATS A SCENE OUT OF ALIEN

NAT: BRO

[natjpeg-blog]

imessage: 💩 shrek's meatball 💩

CALEB: im scared i heard she almost shanks someone

CALEB: u gotta hook me up tho,, be my wingman

CALEB: im not an edge lord ????? jfc

CALEB: yes and the ohana scene some hawaiian dialect thing

CALEB: what the fuck nat thats so rude

CALEB: im into it ://///

CALEB: today i watched this porn video of a girl that used like a 15 inch dildo.... it was.... interesting

NAT: if i introduce u do u rly think shes gonna notice who u r w my dick in the room ??

NAT: nah u'll have to get her alone

NAT: secluded

NAT: in a anti nat space

NAT: 15" ?????

NAT: how far did it get in wtf

NAT: was the dildo a fuckin mac book pro

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adriana !

when they’d arranged to be casual hookups their meeting spot tended to be her apartment, late at night and when she woke up, nat wasn’t there anymore. it was like that until days turned into months, nights into days and waking up to an empty bed was no longer an issue because the familiar physique of the norwegian man was the ghost in her bed. “thank you – i was planning on cutting it for the longest time and now it just sort of… happened.” she explained briefly, not wanting to get into detail about having changed her hair because she’d gotten dumped. her delicate hand went up to his cheek and then to the back of his neck, manicured nails softly scratching his scalp in a distracted manner. “felt like i needed to recover my youth and start looking cunty again.” she replied quirkily, pressing a kiss on his mouth, lips the moving up to his earlobe. “are the human girls home?” the question was so ridiculous that she couldn’t help but pull away from him to laugh loudly.

reinvention. nat could get behind the sentiment of that; he’d stood on the opposing side of a mirror and not liked the angry eyes looking back before, understood that change was just a premise for survival. every day, for years now, he had been carving himself into something different with uncertain strokes of a knife, and it was painful, bloody work. he had become something natanael-shaped whereas before he had just been natanael, and he could only hope that for adriana it had been different, that she had bloomed and not bled.  “ mission fuckin’ accomplished, ”  he laughed, cut off by a kiss, and that was new. he didn’t know what to make of it yet.  “ nah, bambs is manning the flowers and ada’s— ”  shit, what did ada do during the day ?   “ —err, out. ”  fuck knew where, he’d have to ask about that later.  “ come on, ”  one last brief kiss, and nat pushed himself off the wall and headed towards the balcony.  “ if you’re gonna’ fuck up my body with a knife, i need to not be sober for it, ya fookin’ psycho. ”