Somebody was banging on my door like the house was on fire, and for a second I thought I overslept something important.
"Kairi! Get up!" My mama yelled through the door. "If your friend coming over tonight, you gon help clean this house!"
I groaned into my pillow. So much for sleeping in.
I let myself adjust to the light beaming in from my window, staring at the stars on the ceiling for a moment before I reached for my phone beside me half expecting to see a text from Kehlani saying she couldn't make it—there was nothing.
I texted them good morning and asked how rehearsal was going knowing she was probably at that rehearsal she told me about yesterday.
I checked my texts from Marcus responding to what he sent me, before I saw a text from Coco telling me that her verse was done, I listened to the audio she sent me, and halfway through there was a loud knock on the door.
"Kairi Imani! Get up!" I jumped at my mom's voice on the other side of it, knowing I needed to get my ass up before she got to the full name. I went into the bathroom connected to my room, taking my phone with me playing the audio file without interruption now.
I listened to it twice before I sent my thanks to Coco, I didn't have any requests for tweaks or nothing cause she had sent me this last night but she tweaked what I asked in this new one. I sent it to my engineer who told me he would get working on it.
I brushed my teeth and tamed my bed head, before putting my hair up since I didn't feel like dealing with it in my face right now, I changed out of my sleep shorts and put on a pair of jeans, and pulled on a shirt before I went downstairs already hearing the commotion from everyone else.
Before I even really got situated something was shoved in my mouth, and I saw my mom standing there with a broom. "Go sweep the living room." I couldn't speak from the pancake she shoved in my mouth so I just nodded.
I chewed fast, trying not to choke while I grabbed the broom from her hand. Mom was already moving on to the next victim—Malik was getting a rag shoved at him with orders to wipe down the coffee table, Devon was on vacuum duty, and Simone was folding the throw blankets Nova had turned into a nest on the couch last night.
"I don't know why I gotta clean up, you the one with a guest coming damn," Malik mumbled under his breath, but he was still wiping the table down.
Simone laughed from where she stood. "She's been up since six. Said 'company coming, house gotta be right.' You know how she gets."
I did know. Mom didn't play when guests were involved—especially not when the guest was someone who'd made her daughter smile like a fool over text messages. I could already feel the interrogation coming.
"What time is Kehlani getting here anyway?" Devon asked me as I used the dustpan to collect what I swept.
"I told her it starts at seven, she might get here early I don't know."
I went into the kitchen to dump the trash from the dustpan, before I started sweeping the kitchen just to get it out the way, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and I half expected it to be Marcus but it was Kehlani.
That same smile—the one I had when she was around crept onto my face, man she don't even know how down bad I am.
Rehearsals kicking my ass but I'm surviving
What's ur mom's favorite dessert?
I shook my head, I knew she was still gonna try and bring something.
Me: well you keep surviving, superstar
You really don't gotta bring nothin'
But if you insist she loves peach cobbler or red velvet
Kehlani: noted, peach cobbler it is
I bit my lip my chest fluttering from the message, but as I saw my mom walking in I tried to act like I was just sweeping.
"Aht, girl I already saw ya." She told me and I snorted, but I continued sweeping. "So Kairi, is this really just your friend?"
Is what I wanted to say, because I very much had plans to become more than just friends, with Kehlani but we weren't there yet.
"Yep." She looked like she didn't believe me but she didn't ask anything else. I finished sweeping the kitchen before Mama let up and we could actually sit down, Malik and Devon were playing Madden and Simone went somewhere I don't know.
I was curled up on the couch phone in hand half watching Instagram reels but I kept glancing at the tv watching them play the game.
I kept glancing at the time at the top of my phone screen, my nerves building with each passing minute but my excitement was even higher.
It was rounding eleven thirty now, I swear time moves so much slower when you're waiting for something.
Eventually I got bored of just sitting there so I went into the kitchen, seeing all the things my laid out for dinner.
"Damn, ma, what're you making?"
"Watch your mouth, Kairi." She said pointing a wooden spoon at me and I raised my hands. "And since you told me she don't really like American food I'm making baked salmon, roasted potatoes, asparagus, and a salad."
She was really going all out. It was times like this that made me wonder why she didn't open a restaurant.
"Well, what you need help with? I needa do something." I would get restless just sitting on the couch the whole time and she told me I could start cutting the cucumbers for the salad.
"So how'd you meet this mystery friend of yours?" She asked me once I started cutting the cucumbers.
"My birthday party, she came and wished me happy birthday, and wanted to collab, and we became friends." None of which would've happened if I hadn't let them talk me into going out for the night.
I might just gotta thank them knuckleheads.
"Wait a second is this the girl I was seeing you with all the times, and people kept saying y'all was dating?" She then gestured to her arms and I was glad she wasn't looking at me cause I felt my face get hot. "Tattoos and all? The name.. uhh Kehlani right?"
"Yeah, that's her ma," I confirmed and I heard a hum come from her, and I moved onto another cucumber.
She went silent after that and I finished with the cucumbers putting them into the bowl with the romaine lettuce inside, and she told me to cut some carrots to put in there, and I got them out the fridge before I started cutting them up.
Then I realized this whole dinner probably wouldn't have happened if I hadn't gone to the party, I wouldn't be feeling like this for someone—for them, if I hadn't gone to that party.
I really did need to thank them.
"You really like her don't you?" My mom suddenly asked me and I saw her eyeing me, with those knowing eyes, and I knew there was no point in denying it.
"I do," I confirmed, and she smiled softly at that. "She makes me smile and laugh, I didn't realize how much I needed to laugh until she had me doing it almost every day." I looked down at the carrots I was cutting. "I almost fuc—messed it up though."
I didn't even know I could want someone as much as I wanted them but here I was wanting them, so much.
I saw my mom frown, and she turned away from what she was doing to face me. "What'd you do?"
"You know how I was seen with Dee and all? It was all fake, but Dee's team wanted me to 'drop Kehlani'." James voice played in my head and I rolled my eyes and exhaled. "I shut that down.." I thought back to the night I even agreed to that dumb thing.
"First of all.. we are not dating—fake or not. If we're doing this, it's appearances only—public photos, maybe a dinner or two where people can see us, that's it." I said firmly to the whole room, gesturing between myself and Delilah and James opened his mouth but I didn't want to hear it. "No. We can do this but not like that. Is that clear?"
I looked between the three of them and James and Sam looked like they wanted to argue but Delilah spoke up. "That's fine."
I nodded. "Okay. Second, I'm not 'dropping' anyone. Especially Kehlani. Don't mention her, in no briefing, don't start no drama, if someone asks about Kehlani don't comment." I looked around the room again, seeing Marcus looking at me with a sort of pride.
"Third, I am not spending six months doing this. This ends when the threats stop, or the deals come back, or I say it's over. Whichever comes first."
James cleared his throat. "That's... a lot of conditions."
I shrugged not backing down.. "Take it or leave it."
Delilah spoke before anyone else could. "We'll take it."
I sat back, arms crossed. "Good. Then we're clear."
At the time I thought it was the right thing, and in a way it was, I just went about it wrong.
"You can't beat yourself up over that, Kairi. You thought you were doing what was right."
"So I shouldn't have helped Dee?"
"I'm not saying you should have or shouldn't have," she repeated slowly, choosing her words like she was handling something fragile. "What I'm saying is—you got a good heart, baby. You always have. You saw somebody hurting, somebody you used to care about, and you wanted to help. That part ain't wrong. That's who you are."
I frowned. "Kehlani ain't deserve that though. Me acting weird, shutting them out... making it look like something it wasn't."
"Yeah. You did. And that hurts you more than anybody, don't it?"
I didn't answer. I didn't have to.
She stepped closer, reached out, and lifted my chin gently so I had to meet her eyes.
"Listen to me, Kairi. You can't go back and undo what you did. But what you do is control what you do from this moment going forward." I took in a breath as she continued. "You already shut down the parts that didn't sit right with you back then—you made rules, you protected what mattered. That took strength. Most people would've just gone along to keep the peace. You didn't."
I swallowed. "I still let it happen. I still let her think—"
"You let her think what the world was already saying," Mom cut in gently. "And yeah, that was a mistake. But you didn't lie to her face. You didn't promise her something you weren't ready to give. You pulled back because you were scared, and you were trying to protect yourself too. That's human, baby. It ain't pretty, but it's human."
She let go of my chin, but kept her hand on my shoulder—warm, steady. "The question now is: what are you gonna do with the truth you got on the other side of that mistake? You still got feelings for this girl?"
I didn't even hesitate. "Yeah. A lot."
Mom nodded like she already knew. "Then stop letting yesterday decide tomorrow. You already showed you can set boundaries when it counts. Now set one for yourself. If you love her—or if you're on your way there—then go be honest. Not half-honest. Not 'I'll explain later' honest. Full honest. Even if it's scary. Especially if it's scary."
Especially if it's scary.
I repeated it in my head a few times.
She squeezed my shoulder once, then let go and turned back to the sink like she hadn't just dropped truth on me like it was nothing.
"And when she comes through that door tonight.." She added without turning around. "You look her in the eye and let her see you, not 'Kai Brooks' the superstar, but the Kairi I raised. The one who protects what she loves, even when she don't know how to say it yet."
I love my mama so much, man I swear. I'd probably lose my head without her.
"Thanks ma," I said after a second.
She smiled over her shoulder. "You don't gotta thank me, I just wanna see you happy, baby." I smiled at her words. "Now finish cutting up them carrots."
I laughed but nodded as if she could see. "Yes ma'am."
I was thinking about her words the rest of the time I was cutting the carrots.
Repeated in my head and I told myself I would. I would let Kehlani see me and anything else she wanted to see as long as one day I could call them mine.
I wasn't as nervous after that, I felt a little lighter to be honest.
When I heard the doorbell ring at 6:47, I practically rushed to open it smile wide. "Hey, I was—" I stopped. "Oh. It's you."
Nia's jaw dropped. "You know you could at least pretend to be excited damn."
"Eh.." I mumbled but still leant down to kiss the toddler's cheek in her arms and she giggled in response, and Nia just grunted and moved past me inside and I started to follow until I saw a car pulling down the street, and at the same time, my phone went off.
I knew who it was immediately and I was already stepping out onto the porch and down the steps as she parked and I waited then went over to the passenger side and she rolled the window down.
"You know you're not supposed to text and drive." I teased and her eyes rolled.
"Psh.. girl I can multitask." I smiled and she rolled the window up before getting out, but grabbed something before she did and as she did I saw it was peach cobbler and a red velvet cake.
"Oh, you tryna get in her good graces," I said as I looked at the sweets and she laughed but I could hear the nerves, and I took the desserts from her, looking her over. "You look great." I complimented her and she smiled.
"Right?" I asked a little cockily as we walked towards the house and I could practically feel the eye roll. "Don't be nervous, they don't bite," I said as I saw her looking a little anxious. "Well now, Nova might but no one else—"
"I know you not badmouthing my child, Kai." I looked through the screen door and at Nia who stood there eying me.
"It ain't badmouthing if it's true. I still got the bite mark on my hand." I bit back and I heard Kehlani let out a little giggle. Nia pushed the screen door open, letting us come inside. "Nia, this is Kehlani my.. friend." I said the word slow, almost reluctantly. "Kehlani this is Nia my cousin."
"Hi, it's nice to meet you," Kehlani said and Nia shut the door and I gestured for them to follow me to the kitchen, where the smell of that good food was radiating I'm so hungry. I put the desserts on the counter then looked at Kehlani getting a little lost seeing them looking at Nova who was now hiding behind Nia's legs, and she smiled and waved and Nova giggled, and it made me smile.
"Kairi, don't be rude introduce your guest." I looked at my mom as she said it, then back at Kehlani who was looking a little confused.
"Yeah, Kairi." I laughed a little to myself knowing that after all this time she was learning my name.
Granted no one besides my mother called me Kairi this faithfully.
"I like it." She said a little more to herself and I felt heat creeping up my neck, it ain't even fair no more.
"Sorry, uh mama this is Kehlani, Kehlani that's my mom." I watched as Kehlani went over to my mom clearly expecting a handshake or something but my mom pulled them into a hug.
When they let go I could practically see the anxiety ease off Kehlani and she looked at me with a smile.
"You know Kai's been talkin about you all day." Simone suddenly said as she leaned against the kitchen doorway, and I gasped in horror.
"Oh really?" Kehlani asked amused looking between the two of us.
"She was I can vouch," Nia said suddenly and I threw my hands up.
"You weren't even here!" She just laughed clearly finding it funny watching me squirm. Simone pulled Kehlani off somewhere and Nia followed and I could only imagine what they were talking about.
But on the bright side, it was going good so far. I could tell tonight would be a good night.
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