mother?

love is a song that never ends; bambi | 20 | swynlake

[amaninthemirrors-blog]

Careless Kindness | Magi&Bambi

[amaninthemirrors-blog]

He sat there, his knees folded carefully under his body, eyes following the man on the other side of the mirror. While he was obviously a man, he wasn’t filled out like other men he had seen. This person was scraggly, seemingly much younger than one would expect to be living alone, however Magi could hardly ever tell age. He himself looked much more boyish than the years he owned. 

Head cocked to the side, Magi just watched for a second. Taking everything in. While this friend/stranger seemed kind, Magi didn’t want to cause any aggression. He knew he couldn’t win a fight. The only way he would ever win is by escaping. He was excellent at fleeing. His magic made it even easier. 

A sigh escaped his lips, before he finally determined it would be best to give an answer. Not to let the boy sit there staring at the man in the mirror trying to figure out what this mystery was. “I live here.” he said quietly, “However, like you can leave your home, I can leave mine.” he said, thinking about it quietly. His lips turning slightly upward as he thought fondly of how his home wasn’t furnished like most, much more similar to Bambi’s than anyone else he had seen. 

He once again found comfort in someone who wasn’t like me. “I saw you live fairly minimally” he explained. “And wanted to help.” he added on, finger reaching out to rest against the end of the mirror, pointing to where the poptarts sat in the other room, just out of Magi’s line of vision from the bathroom mirror. 

“I hope I didn’t frighten you.” he whispered, barely audible. He really didn’t want to be scary, he just was looking to help a kindred spirit. 

[naxuralbambi]

He was mesmerized. This was such a new, unique experience. He would never see something like this back at home. He was glad to be in Swynlake, even if he was almost homeless and practically starving. The drama was over now, and he was able to slow down and realize how cool everything was here. He didn’t think there was any magic back home. And besides, he wasn’t being constantly reminded of his mother here.

Things were only getting better from here, and this new friend of his, well he was interested. He wasn’t sure why he was being so nice to him, but he wasn’t really going to question such a nice act. He saw the boy’s finger reach out of the mirror and he stared for a moment in amazement. 

He wanted to reach out and make sure that he was real, but he shoved that idea into the back of his mind. He was afraid this person would feel threatened by that, and he just wanted to be friends with this person.

Bambi looked over to where the boy was pointing-at the poptarts- and he quickly grabbed them and brought them over. “Did you want to share them?” he asked, and he looked down at them longingly. He really hoped he would say no because he was actually really fucking hungry, but he was obviously willing to share if he had to.

[thevioletparr-blog]

Movie Night | Bamblet

[thevioletparr-blog]

Kissing Bambi made Violet feel special and wanted. But she always had this nagging feeling in the back of her mind that it might not last because she wasn’t quite herself by not sharing much about her magic. Was it being dishonest with him? it almost felt that way sometimes.

Still, she leaned into him, an arm wrapped around him, and her cheeks were flushed a slight red, taking a moment before she regretfully pulled away a little. “You’re so sweet…and I feel like I’m not entirely honest, with you?” She chewed at her bottom lip. “I’m sorry if I…that I’m ruining the moment, I just want to know how you um….how you feel about magic? I never really asked you before and it’s kind of…it’s important.”

[naxuralbambi]

Bambi was confused. He was enjoying himself and the sudden pull to reality left him feeling dizzy. Magic? What did any of that matter?

He separated himself from her enough that they could look at each other and communicate. But he kind of wanted to laugh. He wasn't really sure why she seemed so uncomfortable about this. Should he ask that? Was there something that he didn't know? Magic wasn't something he thought about ever. He knew it existed, of course. And he supposed it was pretty cool. And he had seen her using it, whether or not she actually picked up on that.

"What are you lying about though? I know you use Magic if that's what you mean..." It was silly. He wasn't sure why she was so bothered, and he wished he understood, but he just couldn't be as serious as she was. "I don't really know much about it though. I guess it's kind of cool? It's kind of a shame people have to be so secretive about it."

[thevioletparr-blog]

Movie Night | Bamblet

[naxuralbambi]

The movie was over at this point, and Bambi had enjoyed it. He couldn’t really speak for Violet, but she had been smiling quite a bit. He felt like a schoolboy again. It felt strangely relaxing to go back in time like this. He hated high school, but nostalgia had glorified his previous romances.

And he liked kissing Violet. She was sweet and her lips were soft and so were his. His heart was beating faster and faster and yet he felt totally relaxed. He felt like everything was in slow motion as his lips pressed against hers, and they roamed around a bit to her cheek and down her jawbone.

[thevioletparr-blog]

Movie Night | Bamblet

[thevioletparr-blog]

Violet reached for her own drink, relaxing a little more now that she saw that he was comfortable and that it wasn’t quite so awkward as the first time. This would be fine. She had been able to admit that she really liked Bambi…and he liked her. And they were just there to watch a movie together. There was no need for her to get as nervous as she did.

A smile spread across her face as he seemed to catch on to what she wanted, leaning against him, one arm wrapping around him, her head moving to rest on his shoulder. This was just right, she thought. She felt warm, and safe, and like nothing else mattered right now. And really why should it? She was spending a nice evening with a nice boy, and he liked her. The movie hardly mattered to her, though she did her best to pay attention anyway.

[naxuralbambi]

She was warm, and he was comfortable. Everything felt really right, and it was a bizarre feeling for Bambi recently. Everything up till now had been going wrong. It’d been way to long since he’d talked to Faline, and he was pretty sure she secretly was still angry at him. He’d accidentally kissed a boy at a bonfire and almost ruined his relationship, not to mention the other relationship (which he knew nothing about but he wondered about them sometimes). Bambi was being stupid lately, and he never realized how stupid he was until it was to late. 

Now he just wanted to relax. He sat through the movie, laughing at the funny bits, trying not to squirm through the awkward parts, and occasionally rubbing little circles into her shoulder as she rested against him. Towards the  end of the movie, he placed a little kiss onto her forehead, so lightly she probably hardly even noticed.

[amaninthemirrors-blog]

Careless Kindness | Magi&Bambi

[amaninthemirrors-blog]

Scuttering back, on all fours, he looked up carefully at the face looking in the mirror. He knew he couldn’t be seen or found, however he still felt extremely vulnerable. His eyes, looked back at the man staring at him, wide, curious to why this person wasn’t angry or nervous someone was in their home. Angry they didn’t catch the thief, instead they were asking him why he was scared. Well, the reasons were obvious. Beside his creepy ability to watch this boy for hours without anyone being the wiser, his unwittingly stupid decision to provide the boy with a box full of cheap, sugary pastries that probably were crumbled from Magi’s uncanny ability to drop everything.

Finally, coming to his knees, relishing in the safety his little mirror world provided him; his eyes met Bambi’s. He stared into them, judging the big brown doe eyes carefully; unsure to why he’d be so concerned about Magi’s welfare.

He lifted himself to his feet, taking slow steps towards the mirror, still nervous the boy would jump through and attack him. Magi was confident he wasn’t letting anyone through the mirrors, it had always seemed no one could get in unless he wanted it and kept the mirrors open for them… However he couldn’t really be sure how it worked. He stood directly in front of Bambi, body directly even with him. A deep breath in before he breathed out a big sigh.

In the deepest, scariest voice he could manage, Magi spoke. “I’m not scared, I am protected.” He said, fingers shaking uncontrollably. While his voice was solid and unwavering, his body was the exact opposite. His body was crippled by fear despite his words. He didn’t want to make this person angry nor did he want to lose the boy he found companionship in. There were so few people that Magi felt himself in, so few people who were alone like Bambi and him.

Belle had all her housemates; Bas had Chester despite how he spoke poorly of him at times; Violet had her family; Esme had Quasi. Magi was truly alone, and as far as he could tell, this boy seemed to be too. He may have had friends but he lived alone, he seemed to eat alone too. The idea that Magi wasn’t the only one made him feel safe. The idea that Magi wasn’t the only one who lived with minimal food, no way to cook, no way to really do anything provided him a sense of relief. Despite everything he had repressed, sometimes Magi felt so detached from the world itself he questioned whether he was a person at all, or simply just a mirror. A mirror that could manage weird tricks, maybe his parents didn’t actually have him. It would be strange, considering his parents never wanted him, but maybe a possibility? Hadn’t Mel said something along the lines of magic does strange things? He couldn’t really remember in his fear, he was still standing on the opposite side of the mirror as the boy on the other side, hoping and praying there wouldn’t be rejection.

[naxuralbambi]

He was right. There was somebody still there. But this was nothing he had ever seen before. The mirror. He was right, there was definitely a boy in his mirror. He was surprised, yes, but not really scared. He knew about Magicks in Swynlake, and even though this was his first encounter with one, he was more curious than afraid. He loved new things, and this was so... bizarre, but to him it was just more proof that nature was beautiful. 

He got closer to the mirror. He wanted to touch it, to see what would happen if he tried, but he felt like that would be overstepping. Plus, it would be strange to get that close to him. What if he accidentally touched his face? Would it feel like a face? Would he be upset? Would it just feel like a mirror? Bambi was confused and he would rather get answers by asking rather than being rude and touching him. So he stayed about arm’s length away from the mirror’s cool surface.

Bambi was historically bad at reading the mood of a situation. He couldn’t tell when someone was being sarcastic, or flirting, or when they were scared or if they were being threatening. Now, he wasn’t sure how this person was feeling towards him. He could have been sad, he supposed. Or scared. He wasn’t sure what he meant by protected. He didn’t think it was a threat. Or if it was a threat, it was poorly executed. Bambi decided it was best to keep things cordial. Anyway, he had no reason to assume this guy was going to harm him. He’d bought him poptarts. That was friendly.

“You can come out of the mirror, right? You’re not stuck in there forever?” he asked. After considering it for a minute, he realized that was the only thing that made sense. Unless there was another intruder in the house. Which was unlikely. But he wouldn’t take back his question. He hoped the boy would take the hint, and come out.

[thevioletparr-blog]

Movie Night | Bamblet

[thevioletparr-blog]

Violet hadn’t actually considered what it might mean to say they’d watch netflix. Not really in depth. She had genuinely just wanted to watch a movie with Bambi. Netflix was just the right medium for it.

Since she hadn’t been on many dates, she wanted to make sure this would go well between them. Especially since she had texted him and things were…somewhat awkward. Or maybe it was just in her head. She really wasn’t too sure how personally Bambi took things.

“That sounds good to me. Yeah. Great idea Bambi.” Violet replied warmly, wondering if she could sit closer to him and wrap an arm around him, or if he would prefer they didn’t cuddle. She didn’t want to push things too far with him. She moved to set the movie and press play, biting her lip and glancing over at him out of the corner of her eye.

[naxuralbambi]

He took the remote in his hand and typed the name into the search bar. The opening credits of the movie started, and Bambi decided it was fair now to grab for the popcorn. Bambi was less nervous today than he had been in the past. Mostly because he had spent more time preparing for this. Also, he knew her a little better now. Even though he knew he was kind of in a bit of a pickle over the whole Ber thing... he was confident that all that would be over soon and he could go on to to try harder next time not to make rash decisions.

He couldn’t concentrate on credits. They were boring, so he looked over, and saw her glancing up at her. He realized she must be expecting something. Cuddling? I mean, why not right? Bambi knew he shouldn’t be nervous about that. You know she likes you.

He stretched his arm out and pulled her closer. He cupped her shoulder in his hands and stretched out on the couch. 

[thevioletparr-blog]

Movie Night | Bamblet

[thevioletparr-blog]

Violet had imagined getting flowers, but she had never really thought that she might get them somehow. The gesture was sweet, and she took the gifts in each hand, hesitating for a moment and then deciding that the flowers definitely needed a vase, and she went to go find one in the kitchen, quickly putting water in and then setting them in the vase. Once that was done she brought it back so she could set it down on the coffee table.

“I’m really happy you’re here too.” She managed to say, sitting down next to him, keeping the teddy bear at her side. “I would give you a tour, but there’s not too much to see to be honest. It’s a house.” And she was a little bit self-conscious about showing him her room. Maybe she would save that for another day.

For the time being, Violet sat next to him and offered up the remote. “If you want you can look through movies…maybe pick something that you’d like?” She suggested. She wanted to be a good host at least, and she figured if he picked then he could enjoy being there more. “I’m happy with just about anything that isn’t super scary.”

[naxuralbambi]

To be completely honest, Bambi had prepared for this. He had heard the “Netflix and chill” horror stories. They usually went one of two ways: 

1) Neither of the people can decide on something to watch, and 80% of the date is spent flicking through movies or 2) Sex.

Bambi didn’t necessarily want either of those to happen. Not that the second one would be bad... It actually might be kind of nice. But he was a virgin, and he didn’t think it would really be proper for them to do that together just yet. I mean, they hadn’t even talked about things like that before.

Anyway, Bambi was prepared. He’d Googled “good date movies on netflix” and he had a handful of movies saved in his had so that this could be a quick process and everything would stay smooth.

“How about Silver Linings Playbook? I haven’t seen it, but I’ve heard it’s very good...”

[naxuralbambi]

Summary: Bambi reflects on a winter he spent snowed in with his mother, and a conversation they had about his father.

Bambi had been twelve when he had been snowed in. His mother was always busy at work, but this particular year, the snow was intense, and the entire town was closed down for about a week. Which meant stockpiling food and staying home watching telly with mother. There was no school, and no work, which Bambi wasn’t really used to.

Most of the time when he was with his mother spending quality time, it was during the summer when she used her vacation days to go on hikes or camping. To Bambi, these snow days felt like a holiday. He treasured his mother, even if he didn’t actually see her often.

Vegan hot chocolate and card games. To a normal 12 year old, this would have been super boring, but to Bambi, it meant quality time. His mother was such a friendly, loving person that just being near her put him in a happy mood. She let him win every time, and he knew it, but he never said anything about it to her. When the game was over, she said to him, “You’re turning into such a smart boy, Bambi. I wonder how that came to be?”

Bambi never had a mother to help him with his homework, and bedttime stories became an impossibility after his fifth birthday, but she always checked to make sure his work was done and his grades stayed up. She was lucky in the respects that, although Bambi wasn’t especially bright, he was able to keep his grades up himself. 

Bambi would smile as she pat him on the head, and they got out a board game and played music. Even though there wasn’t actually much to do, Bambi loved it. He got to tell his mom all about the stuff he did with the King’s, and he gossiped to her about the kids at school...

His mother always kept her life private. He didn’t actually know that much about her, just that she was a very kind person and she loved the outdoors. Despite how little he saw her, Bambi would always make it his dream to be just like her.

When they had gotten bored of the... heh, board games, they put them away and put on one of their favorite movies, Charlotte’s Web. Bambi had seen it at least a dozen times, but it still made him a bit sad at the end. They ate snacks as they sat through the movie, and by the time the movie was near done, he had gotten tired and he rested his head on her shoulder as his eyes began to shutter close.

That was only the beginning of the week, and lots of fun was yet to come. They would bake cookies together and they would make crafts. Although Bambi was starting to feel like he was a bit too old for this, he didn’t let his mother know. He was just glad to be able to talk to her for so long.

“Hey. mom?” he had asked. He hesitated. He didn’t know much about his mother, so asking personal questions felt weird to him. “How old were you when you met Dad?”

“I was 18. Why do you ask?” he tone was soft, and non-confrontational, but she had actually been a bit worried as to how this conversation was going to lead.

Bambi had been hesitant to continue the conversation. He knew his mother didn’t like talking about his father, but he thought about it from time to time,  and it was a reminder to him that he was  different. He didn’t have any friends without dads. Some of his friends had babysitters, but none of his friends stayed there overnight. He loved and respected his mother, but he really just wanted to know why it was like this.

“I... I just want to know why I’ve never seen him, is all...”

His mother took a moment to find the right words. She chose them carefully, because she didn’t want any hurt feelings, and she really wanted another topic.

"Listen,” she eventually responded. “I know you’re curious, but there’s not really that much for me to say. Your father wasn’t a very good man, and he was a lot different from us. I think that he would have been a bad influence on you.”

Bambi was happy with the explanation. That was the most his mother had ever spoken to him about his father, and that was the most he would (probably) ever know. He was fine with it. He was happy with his mother. He never fell asleep thinking about his father. It was more the occasional spark of curiosity.

Awkward conversations aside, that winter was the happiest of his life.

[thevioletparr-blog]

Movie Night | Bamblet

[thevioletparr-blog]

Violet tried not to seem like she rushed to the door, but she was there within minutes, opening the door wide and smiling up at Bambi. She had been afraid it would be awkward, and maybe it was, but there was something reassuring about the fact that she now knew for sure that Bambi really did want to be with her. He wanted to be with her.

The smile lit up her entire face and she stepped back to give him space to get in the house. “Hi Bambi.” She said after a moment, realizing she really was doing a poor job at the hosting thing. She should probably talk to him. Her cheeks flushed slightly as she tried to figure out what to do next.

“Come in. Sit. I have snacks…and uh…soda. There’s water if you don’t really like soda.” She added, her cheeks turning even more red, and she finally caught sight of the flowers and the teddy bear. “You….you didn’t have to get me anything.” She muttered stupidly, a bit amazed that he would even do that. “But…I appreciate it. Thank you.”

[naxuralbambi]

He handed her the gifts as he stepped inside. He supposed it was a bit embarrassing, getting gifts from someone, but hopefully she liked the teddy bear (he was a bit worried that she might think teddy bears were too “childish”). And the flowers were a definite yes. No one in their right mind could possibly be angry about flowers, especially not a simple pink rose bouquet. He  looked around her house. It was surprisingly clean, despite her having such a large and apparently hectic family.He wondered to himself if she had  been cleaning up beforehand. “I’m super happy to be here. I’ve never actually been in your house before...”

He did as he was told and sat down on the couch. There were snacks out, and even though he really really loved food, he figured that it would be a bit rude for him to walk in and immediately start eating. 

He really felt bad about the Ber thing, and he wanted to apologize, in person for it. Honestly, he had never even considered her feelings when it happened. There was no, oh hey, slow down you’re in a relationship, he never even realized it would be something that someone else would be effected by it. He was helping his friend, plain and simple. 

He decided it wouldn’t be too bad for him to grab a can of soda. 

[thevioletparr-blog]

Movie Night | Bamblet

Violet had done everything possible to make sure her brothers and her parents were out of the house for the weekend. She knew that if she told them that she would have a guy over that they’d be annoying, and this way she could have the house to herself. It would just allow them to have a nice time without it being interrupted by her mom checking in, or by her brothers teasing or harassing Bambi. She was very sure he wasn’t ready to meet the family.

She wasn’t even quite sure how well this would go. She still felt awkward about the texts she had sent Bambi, and was going out of her way to try to make this date extra nice. She had set up the tv so it would have netflix on and ready to go for whatever they might watch. She had grabbed some sodas, and a pitcher of water in case he would rather have that, and set it down on the coffee table.

Violet had texted Bambi to tell him to come over around six, starting up some popcorn when it got closer to the time and chewing her lip, going to brush her hair one more time before Bambi came, more and more nervous as time got closer to six.

[naxuralbambi]

Just relax, you idiot. You already know she likes you. 

He’d been telling himself this all day. He was a bit of a nervous wreck around her, it seemed. Plus, after the whole Ber situation, he knew that he would have to play it safe to make it up to her. That’s why’d he’d gotten a few gifts. He knew this was more of a casual thing rather than a date, but he would go above and beyond so long as that meant she would actually forgive him.

Flowers, of course. He did work at a flower shop. And a stuffed teddy bear, with a heart stitched into its tummy. He dressed casual- jeans and a snugly fitting white tee.

He knocked on the door and waited patiently, flowers in one hand and the teddy bear in the other.

[naxuralbambi]

Bamblet Texts

Violet: That's good. I don't think we ever had the chance to talk about that stuff.

Violet: But I do hope we get to.

Violet: Did you still want to hang out and watch movies?

Bambi: Oh yes, of course! I'll bring some snacks, just tell me when you're not busy.

[naxuralbambi]

Bamblet Texts

Violet: Oh.

Violet: I'm sorry. I feel really stupid.

Violet: Sorry for interrogating you.

Violet: (unsent) I'll just leave you alone now.

Bambi: Oh, it's okay. I mean I'm open about it.

[naxuralbambi]

Bamblet Texts

Violet: Because if it isn't what you want, I'd rather you tell me right now.

Violet: (unsent) then at least I can get over it faster.

Violet: I mean if you're into guys it's okay.

Violet: Just please don't string me along.

Bambi: ... I'm bisexual.

[naxuralbambi]

Bamblet Texts

Violet: I do want that. If you're sure that's what you want.

Violet: Is that what you want?

Violet: (unsent)I mean, most people don't get paid to kiss each other.

Violet: Was it really about the money?

Bambi: I really do want to be with you. I think it is what I want.

Bambi: And I'm not /that/ desperate for money. I was just trying to help my friend.

Bambi: The money was nice though.

[naxuralbambi]

Bamblet Texts

Violet: Look, it's not like we said anything about what we were to each other. I'm not stupid.

Violet: I don't want to be the kind of person that gets upset about everything.

Violet: But it makes it confusing when I don't really know where we stand.

Violet: I really like you a lot.

Violet: (unsent) it kind of scares me how much.

Bambi:I mean I want to be with you for real. Like not kissing other people. If that's what you want too.

Bambi:If you want I won't kiss anyone else.

Bambi:Even if there's monetary incentive.

[naxuralbambi]

Bamblet Texts

Violet: and to avoid him he needed to kiss someone else?

Violet: I don't know what this is, but if it wasn't what you wanted you can say so.

Bambi: Listen, I feel really bad about this now. It was just kind of a spur of the moment thing. He said that he'd pay me if I kissed him and I didn't really have time to think it through...

Bambi: But I want to be with you if that's what you mean. That hasn't changed. I really like you.

[naxuralbambi]

Bamblet Texts

Violet: I guess...I just don't see why you couldn't have done something else to help him?

Violet: It's not? So what kind of kissing is that then?

Bambi:(after a brief pause) Well I was just doing what he asked me to do. He was going through something rough with some guy I think and he was trying to avoid him.

Bambi: And I mean when we kissed... that was romantic. And this wasn't a romantic think at all. I was just helping him out and then he paid me.