la luna

our backs break in loving — and then the rest of us.

[nayeonkw-blog]

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정국씨

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you’ll have these, right?they were made with love and love is healthy ^o^/

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i hope you dream of pretty things tonight

[neurites]

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[neurites]

(/ he doesn’t know this girl, but here, in a span of mere minutes, he learns that she’s unadulterated kindness. one of those, he thinks as he looks down at her, doesn’t realize he’s staring even as she speaks. gives and takes nothing in return, a kind of blatant rarity that people would love to exploit. she’s worried about him. he laughs, and it comes out a little insensitive probably, but he’s never felt so ridiculous; thankful yes, but not without guilt-ridden shame. ) im nayeon (/ jungkook repeats, distracted ) nice to meet you (/ he doesn’t do this usually, too awkward for formalities and small-talk, but it comes out surprisingly honest here, faint smile on his lips. she’s rubbing off on him already. ) you live far from here? (/ kicks his legs over to the side and he’s up on his feet. he’s dealt with concussions before, knows how the routine goes, there’s no need for a check up. ) i’ll uh - (/ he clears his throat, trying to sound casual ) take you home.

[nayeonkw-blog]

(/ it’s nice—nicer than she was hoping. the syllables of her name stretched across his lips. his lips. it’s difficult to look away. she listens to him talk; she watches each word carefully as they are formed, spoken, slowly tracing the angles of his face, as though later she might want to unwind the memory of them. his voice is soft. she thinks of wind chimes. )

yes, far from here— (/ words drifting; her attention waxes and wanes. she answers questions only ever asked inside her head. after a second pause, she drags her eyes from him and realises that she’s let a beat fall between them; a clumsy silence held like a breath at the pit of her lungs. )

—no. i mean. no, I don’t live too far from here. (/ her gaze settles at his shoulder, the room; it suddenly feels strange to look him in the eye. it suddenly doesn’t. ) i’m staying at the university nearby. (/ and for a moment, she wishes it wasn’t. ) i hope it’s not a while away from you—i mean that as in, i hope it’s not a long trip back for you. 

(/ in the next pause she thinks she might like even these silences. she smiles, manages not to look away when she feels his eyes meet hers, and steps out into the hallway. )

[pswum]

(pop, lock, and drop it—he’s coughing up a hurricane this afternoon and his inhaler musters together one last triumphant puff, quickly followed by a short wheeze of its own, taste of bitter plastic and stale air piping past dry lips into his lungs. yoongi phones the health center and schedules an appointment for later that afternoon.)

(he shuffles into the ward at four. breathing is easier here; whether it’s association fallacy, the sterile environment, or the familiar face stationed at the front desk, yoongi can’t quite ascertain. he calls out to nayeon from a few feet away, then again, voice softer this time as hard knuckles rap against the counter and he slides his prescription across.)

yo. (her blind greeting doesn’t go unnoticed; a smile tugs at his lower lip and he gives it pass, lets it shine through unhindered. he likes the way the word sounds, likes even more how it came for her so naturally.) drop the formalities already, nayeon-ah. (a full-fledged grin, brimming now.) nah, ran out of albuterol. (he jiggles the piece of paper.) don’t want to get caught off-guard. been there, done that.

[nayeonkw-blog]

ah, i really shouldn’t... (/ she starts, thinking that she might get in trouble. (her tone is a little less convinced.) somewhere in some rulebook she recalls reading that formalities should always be maintained with patients. she glances around for her superiors, brief concern in the way she purses her lips. but she dismisses it, quickly; thinks to herself it wouldn’t really matter. she looks at him and smiles. ) okay, oppa.

i’ll get some for you right away! (/ taking the prescription from him, and hurrying into the back room to peruse the shelves. )

(/ when she returns, she’s one hand with the albuterol refills, the other with a lunchbox. it’s considerably large. ) here, these are for you. (/ she hands both of them to him. her smile is wide and content; accomplished. ) i was hoping you’d come in today. 

(/ the lunchbox opens to sliced cantaloupe and oranges. no rinds. ) the doctors said that these were good for asthma. (/ then, looking determined. ) you have to eat all of it, okay?

[lifeinpoetry]

They don’t understand; I’m fine, just fine where I am, for any day now I shall be, I shall be, I shall be …

Raymond Carver, from “Cheers,” Fires: Essays, Poems, Stories

[jung-yeons]

twice tv episode 1: nayeon

[neurites]

( when she answers him, the constricting tautness in his body dissipates almost instantaneously. she must be fine, he reassures himself. she looks fine, and that’s enough incentive for him to nod back in response, satisfied with her answer. there’s another question on the tip of his tongue, but she’s speaking again before he can compose his thoughts into something coherent ) yeah, i’m - (/ she presses her palm to his forehead and jungkook stills in surprise, loses his train of thought; her hand is cold, strangely pacifying against his throbbing skin, but something in the pit of stomach churns with guilt - how long has she been waiting here anyway? ) just a headache, it’s fine - (/ and then she’s smiling, bright and genuine, clasps her hands around his, thanks him so earnestly his ears burn like he’s fifteen again ) no… problem? (/ it comes out a little breathless and ambiguous because he’s not sure how to take this - should he even be getting thanked for this? ) i got… knocked out though (/ he adds, lets out an awkward laugh and reluctantly retracts his hands. he wants to say something, thank her too, but he can’t find the right words for it ) uh, what time is it right now, anyway? your family’s probably worried.

[nayeonkw-blog]

(/ in the first moments when he retracts his hands, she almost reaches out for them again. it’s a subtle sensation; imprecise. she tells herself it’s not disappointment, staring at the warmth that lingers in her palms. she tells herself she does not miss something that was only ever fleeting.

she closes her hands and clears her throat; and nudges her thoughts on their forward course again. )

yes, you did get knocked out— i was so worried!

(/ more importantly, he’s awake now, and he’s fine, and she knows her way around this hospital well enough to provide some paracetamol for that headache, later. )

it’s so good that you’re okay.

(/ and the relief rounds her shoulders; she smiles all throughout; her gaze on him—she doesn’t stop herself; he’s very handsome, and he saved her, so he’s also very kind, and therefore even more handsome—and then to her watch. ) 

it’s almost 10pm— oh! my family. i’m sure they’ll understand. (/ she tries to make her smile brighter, if only to make up for the absence she carries. ) they might scold me if i didn’t make sure you were alright. (/ her laugh is sheepish. )

jung jungkook-sshi, was it? (/ glancing over to the patient form hanging at the foot of the bed even if she has already bound the name to memory. ) my name’s nayeon. im nayeon.

[nayeon-fy]

© heartlipped | do not edit. (1/2)

[neurites]

out of my head;

@nayeonkw​

( he moves first before he opens his eyes; arms haphazardly pushing away the sheet that loosely covers his body, grunting out a string of disjointed words. the ivory ceiling is the first thing he distinguishes, and blinding white lights that have him bolting up right, too soon ) fuck (/ comes out his ingrained response, and then the ache sets in like a ton of bricks - holy fuck - fingers skittering across the base of his pounding skull. the nausea is the least of his worries, but he’s glancing around, fixated on the rapid bustling of what could only be the ER before he’s throwing a fleeting look to his side and - ) oh (/ big eyes, is the first thing he thinks, and with convenient timing, unpleasant memories streak by in succession; a cornered silhouette, an instinctual interjection, and then blackout - ) oh my god (/ his throat feels painfully parched suddenly, and his brain tells him repeatedly, she’s here, she’s here, she’s okay, and it must be the concussion because he has no idea who she is but he’s utterly panic-stricken ) fuck, are you okay?

[nayeonkw-blog]

(/ she knows this white. the quiet lull of it. soft and tired and flat. she waits with her hands folded on the edge of the bed, with her cheek against her hands. she’s trying to notch the minutes, slowly reciting the names of the bones in the human hand— his are gentle. even with its callouses, and the skin torn at the knuckles. the bruises. she smiles,

and begins to count each bone across his fingers. )

(/ he stirs. she sits back abruptly.

his eyes make her shy. )

i’m fine! (/ it’s equally rushed, startled like a fish pond at feeding time. there’s a beat between them as the scattered churn of her thoughts coalesce into something manageable. she doesn’t realise that she’s staring at him for a little longer than she should. )

are you feeling better?

(/ it’s almost out of habit that she presses a palm to his forehead (maybe a little feverish, or maybe that’s simply the heat of her own hand). )

are you hurting anywhere?

(/ and it’s out of gratitude that she clasps her hands around both of his, and holds them tight, squeezes. she smiles, wide and tender. )

you saved me. i was so scared.

(/ she sighs. another pause, like a held breath, with too many feelings welling in her stomach and brimming in her eyes. )

thank you so much.

[nayeonkw-blog]

hi boo boos. i’m so excited to plot and rp with you!! if you like this post i’ll slide into your dms with plot seedlings and we can go from there o/

nayeon’s info page is here. below are bullets about her. open plots will be up some day...

mum and dad aren’t here anymore; 

lives w bro during summer; otherwise boards at uni

nursing major; part times at a rest home; swim club

likes ppl a lot -- all sorts of ppl, every sorts of ppl

v v v v v v dreamy, hazy, absentminded and lost in her thoughts

sunflower for your affections, and will easily overlook past hurts

gets attached easily; romanticises ppl and falls in love easily

struggles to manage loss and sadnesses; escapist tendencies

coping strategies include curling into a ball and crying

v bad at hiding her emotions and is a terrible liar

always carries around bandaids and yakult

likes shoujo series and horoscopes and u :)

[memoryslandscape-deactivated202]

I wanted. I wanted to go on wanting. Is it any different // than any animal want, to go on breathing // in order to love someone?

Gretchen Marquette, closing lines to “Split,” Midway Journal (vol. 9, no. 1, 2015)