the bad boradcast: roommates from hell & liar liar rp sentence starters change pronouns and shit as needed!
“the dumbest thing i did this week was go camping.”
“we’ve already improved on camping. we live indoors.”
“i grew up thinking tsunami was a swear word.”
“i thought that bill gates and nicholas cadge were the same person.”
“why do we eat corn, it doesn’t even do anything?”
“my roommate gets drunk by herself and acts like a cat.”
“i get a lot of emails about dry humping.”
“crayfish were crawling out of the sink!”
“would you rather fight one thousand crayfish or one giant lobster?”
“i don’t like you if you request $1.61 from somebody.”
“he was begging her to let him see her bellybutton!”
“if you throw up on something, you, and only you, are responsible for cleaning it up.”
“sometimes i get it into my head that most people are normal.”
“you lived in a room with a dead shrimp carcass for weeks!”
“you threw away. my kidney stones. that i was keeping. for the doctor.”
“my alternate ego’s name is alfredo.”
“she was eating my butter by the stick!”
“i hate when people break social norms.”
“whatever, she like, thinks she invented the human brain.”
“at first i thought she was just into lord of the rings, which i love. but no, she’s a witch.”
“kindness and politeness are weaponized against women.”
“you will never see someone telling a man to be kinder!”
don’t tell me i should be nicer when you’re the meanest person i’ve ever encountered!”
“somebody just wrote an annotated essay on why they hate me.”
“so i just learned that buffalo wings are not made from buffalo meat.”
“i hate. nothing more. than a get to know you game.”
“my cat is staring at me like he’s about to claw my face off.”
“this distant friend? yeah i think we should increase that distance.”
“how many dates are you going on? you have four boyfriends and two other dates that you’re going on!”
“we’d already rounded the bases if ya know what i mean.”
“strict parents raise the best liars.”
“shame is so powerful that a lot of times it works.”
“when you get it in your head that sex is dirty or shameful, it’s really hard to unravel that.”
“i think it’s weird when guys carry around wads of cash.”
“i know now that my mom was just desperate for me to get married.”
“i love you women with your fbi skills.”
“he needed me to ask his parents if it was ok to land a helicopter on their land.”
“i do honestly feel bad for people who have to lie that much.”
“i don’t want to judge anyone’s parenting skills, but this seems extremely...damaging.”
“i have never read a book in my entire life.”
“i told the cops i must have sleep walked.”