Since the day I met you I stopped doing what I used to love; reading, writing, or imagining things (for the future, for the time being, for tomorrow or just for fun). I started enjoying your texts no matter how shallow you can be. And I find it really amusing that no matter how stupid those were: I still find it entertaining, funny and cute. I slowly felt something I shouldn’t have.
I never regret the day we became something special. I was happy. Very happy. You made me the most special girl. Hell, you even told me I am your world. I believed you. At first maybe I hesitated, but dang cupid’s arrow already hit me.
Everyday you proved how special I am. Non-stop texts, calls, I love you’s. You want to make sure I know you love me and you want to make sure I feel the same. I always thought you are the sweetest. I know you have your tantrums, your anger problems but I set that aside. I accepted your dark side. After all, you were my sweetest beast and I loved you, or should I say I still love you now. I never stopped loving you. I even questioned my self why? well I don’t know. I guess that’s what love is, something you can’t explain. You just feel. You just know.
I may have said that I find you annoying the first time we met but everything changed. I became addicted to you. I became possessive. You may have done that during our first months but I begin to adapt the behavior. I became a jealous girl. I don’t want anyone steal your attention from me. I hated a lot of people close to you. But you still chose to love me and I loved you even more and more everyday because you sacrificed them over me.
Yes I became selfish. I don’t want to share you. I don’t want anyone stealing you from me because as far as I know you are mine and I am yours, forever and ever (or I thought so..).
It never occurred to me that one day you will stop doing what you used to do, what we used to do. I always thought we will someday get married and have kids of our own, have a house of our own, and all of those we used to talk about when we plan for our future but everything fall apart.
To cut the story short, you ended our seemingly perfect love story. You simply told me your love for me has long gone and the only thing that’s left is pity. i was in shock. I can’t believe what I heard right from your sweetest lips that used to kiss me passionately. I cried and asked for a second chance but you said you can’t give me what has long been gone.
That was the worst day of my life. Cried a lot. Like every fuckin’ day. I can’t contain the pain. It’s like I’ve been stabbed so many times right in my heart. Every place, every words, every damn thing I see seems to hurt me.
I decided to get away from the place that reminds me so much of how we used to be. I left home to protect my family from seeing me hurt. It’s been hard living without you now. We’ve been together for four years. And this pain I'm feeling right now is new to me. I haven't felt pain this much in my entire life.
I know you are happy now with someone. I knew that the moment you gave up on me even though you told me no third party involved. Remember what I always tell you? “I know you more than you know yourself”. We’ve been together for four years with non-stop communication, you can’t really tell me our love died a natural death.
But then again, You gave me up.
Thank you for the love. I hope you find the happiness you are looking for.
