Robert Matthews

Wordpress Hlo..Scientific research is a systematic way of gathering data and harnessing curiosity.I am interested in research.

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A Simple 7 Step Process to Mindfulness for Beginners

How many of you can relate to this? You’re living in a big city. You commute to work each day to a job you dislike. As you push past other commuters on the sidewalk or nudge up against strangers on public transport, you daydream about your last trip to somewhere exotic. You imagine planning your next trip, and you imagine a well deserved pint after work with your friends.

At the office you do tasks you find tedious or pointless, so you distract yourself by tracking the price of Bitcoin online, texting your friends, or planning your next vacation. You get dragged to meeting after meeting and seem like you’ll never be free to explore your true passions which, you don’t even know what they are.

Whenever you talk with your friends and family, you’re constantly reliving the past or planning for the future. On the way home you try to ignore the blaring sirens of ambulances and police cars driving past, the cacophony of humanity around you as you stumble into the nearest pub and try to drown the boredom and frustration with a pint.

“The little things? The little moments? They aren’t little.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

This scenario is well known to many of us that live and work in the modern world. We are caught up in well-built habit loops which allow us to think back into the past or ahead into the future but allow us to conveniently avoid what’s going on around us. We do this because as humans we are trying to conserve vital mental energy and processing power. Sadly, this means that few of us live in the present moment and are aware of our surroundings on a regular basis.

Mindful meditation is a practice that is fast becoming a global phenomenon. It is a type of meditation that helps individuals focus their efforts and their mental energy on the present moment. It has been argued by spiritual aspirants and medical professionals alike that mindful meditation helps reduce stress and alleviate symptoms of boredom, lack of motivation, and even attention deficit disorder.

Here is a seven-step process you can try to help you start to develop your own mindful meditation practice:

Step 1: Sit

Find a spot that will allow you to sit free from distraction for 10 to 15 minutes. This might be a park bench, a conference room, a train car, the seat on a bus, a closet, a couch, a yoga studio or in the middle of the floor of your kitchen. In the end, it doesn’t really matter where you sit, as long as you can find a place that is comfortable and will allow you to avoid distractions for between 10 to 15 minutes without being called to take care of some task or interrupted by a friend or stranger.

Step 2: Straighten up

Settle into the right posture with a straight back and feet resting on the floor or crossed underneath you. Finding a relaxed and alert posture is important when you attempt to develop a mindfulness practice, because as you enter the meditation phase of the practice you will become aware of any slight discomfort. The more balanced your posture when you start, the better off the practice will go.

Step 3: Close your eyes… or don’t

Some people prefer to close their eyes while they practice sitting meditation, while others prefer to maintain a soft gaze looking straight ahead or focusing on a single object. Both options work, but if you are just starting off it may be easier to close your eyes to avoid distraction from the outside world.

“Many people are alive but don’t touch the miracle of being alive.” – Thích Nhất Hạnh

Step 4: Focus on your breath… or anything

Again, one of the easiest ways to develop a keen awareness for the present moment is to focus on your breath. That being said, some people prefer focusing on a single object nearby, or on the sensation in a certain part of their body. To each their own. I would experiment to see what works best for you.

Step 5: Be open to distractions

The harder you try to block out all distractions from your mind, the more challenging it will be to find flow and reach that altered state of consciousness.

Step 6: Feel the burn, and let it pass

Understand that the process of mindful meditation is like going to the gym; you are training your mind and building habit loops which will benefit you in the long run. When someone is trying to get fit, they will often elect to take the stairs up to their apartment or to their office rather than take the elevator.

When your legs start to ache and you become short of breath, you don’t think “I’m climbing the stairs wrong,” instead you think “I’m out of shape, I should climb the stairs more often!”  The same goes for mindful meditation.

Mindful meditation is something that should be practised just as people practice yoga or go to the gym. You are working out your mind, so you should treat the practice like a workout. You will get better with time, but it will be hard work.

Step 7: Look for little wins

It is expected that you will become distracted many times over the course of a mindful meditation practice, it’s completely natural. Rather than being disheartened by this, try to become aware of the moments in which you become distracted. Once you become aware that this distraction is present, consider celebrating your ability to recognize it as what it is, a distraction, before returning to your breath.

While this seven-step process doesn’t provide much detail into the actual practice of mindful meditation, there are plenty of programs available online that provide free mindful meditation courses and lessons for you to try.

Do you practice meditation? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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5 Things Google, Uber, Nike & Amazon Did to Create Extraordinary Results

Extraordinary businesses are much more about evolution than revolution. Small daily insignificant improvements lead to staggering results over time. Companies such as Google, Uber, Nike and Amazon have not made only one move to amplify their greatness but a series of steps over time. These companies have created un-parallel success due to their belief that success is an inevitable byproduct of doing the little things right. No huge action or silver bullets, instead focusing on achieving legendary business and being better human beings.

The same concept applies, whether it be to companies, or individual performance. Improvements are identified, specific changes are required for the transition and then deliberate immersion until they are automatized.

Important clues hide in the stories of world-renowned creators. Researchers use the term “The Mundanity of Excellence” to describe what makes the best isn’t natural talent or luck but character and the application of a series of simple, specific and learnable methods.

Successful growth companies don’t roll the dice once. When you improve a little each day, eventually big things happen. Invest your energy into seeking the small improvements, small wins, one day at a time and when it happens, it lasts.

Below are 5 principles that when acted upon consistently can lead you to create sustainable results in your business:

1. Played the long game

Media and many within our communities, sensationalize authority figures as overnight success. It rarely exists. Success is captured by thousands of nights in the making, practicing day in and day out and taking countless steps. Bezos attributes Amazon’s success to playing the long game.

When you accept that the journey is not a linear line and you need to work your way there, you take incremental steps to play the long game. Amazon’s first step towards creating the everything store was to focus on selling one thing and one thing only – books. They built one specific product and a strong e-commerce system around it before expanding and diversifying.

2. Thought big, started small

Great companies gather evidence about their capabilities by firing small bullets before they launch a missile. They invest in data to validate where they are heading. They don’t start firing and hope they hit or miss.

When you look back at Google, Larry Page introduced Google Books when he bought a scanner and hooked it up in his office. He began scanning pages, timed it, ran numbers and realized it would be possible to bring book’s online.

Most creators started small. Look at Richard Branson, he started the Virgin Brand with a student magazine. Other examples include Facebook which was started at Harvard and Google started at Stanford with the objective of helping people find information efficiently. Throughout the growth of Google, the company has added more services, yet they continue to focus on one thing only, finding information as quickly as possible.

Amazon dominates different lines of business having little to do with its original undertaking of selling books. Jeff Bezos insists that putting customers first, invent and be patient has been his motto since the beginning.

“Look at things as they can be, not as they are.” – David J. Schwartz

3. Accepted failure as feedback

Failure is inevitable. Humans and business are imperfect. Failure is feedback and opportunity. Fail, but fail early before you invest more than you must or before you compromise your brand. Bezos was interviewed by his brother at Los Angeles’ Summit 2017 where he stated that at the age of 30 he recognized failure was okay but trying was not.

His level of self-awareness allowed him to tap into his courage and take a risk to start an online store. He attributed his success in business due to developing self-reliance and resourcefulness growing up on a ranch. Failure was part of the process, so he mastered that.

4. Found a gap in the market

Uber disrupted the global taxi industry by finding a gap in the market and fulfilled a very real role. Uber removed all the problems associated with taxi services in one fell swoop. They tapped into putting people first by beginning the customer experience through connection of an app to create a personal experience.

They adopted technology at the core and initially focused on raising brand awareness through sponsorship of relevant major events. They harnessed the crowd in the early days with the recommend a friend tactic. They capitalized on social media to the point where the brand became instantly familiar in people’s minds. Step by step, they disrupted the global taxi industry.

“We’ve grown up with internet. We’re able to see things and gaps in markets that others may not be able to.” – Nick D’Aloisio

5. Left a lasting Imprint in people’s minds

“Just do it” is imprinted in the minds of many as is the swoosh logo. In the early days of Nike, putting customers first was paramount. The Nike Moon shoes were a classic example of not only building great products but also highlighting the health benefits of wearing the jogging shoe. The audience wasn’t looking for better running shoes but a better way to get in shape.

Like the other companies identified, Nike has taken small steps over time to significantly impact millions of people. Their brand stands alone, yet they have adapted through upgraded designs, embraced new technologies moving from print to social media platforms and adapted to the needs of their audience.

They continue to hold on to their customer-centric messaging by staying true to their sense of purpose, emphasizing benefits of their products and reinforcing the message that they help their clients be better at what they love to do.

None of these companies sold products, they spread ideas and delivered the benefits that came with it. Over time, they built trust with customers by adding immense value. A style that will never out date.

Which one of these companies is your favorite one and why? Let us know in the comments below!

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How Letting Go of Perfection Can Help You Build a Strong Company

The word “perfect” has a nice ring to it. After all, isn’t that what we should all strive for? We should be straight A students, be perfect at our jobs, raise perfect kids and have perfect bodies. The idea of being a perfectionist initially sounds like a good personality trait to possess. These are people who refuse to accept any standard short of perfection. They must have perfect lives and successful businesses, right?

If you answered “yes,” you’d be wrong. Those people who claim to be perfectionists most often do not have a perfect life and definitely do not have successful businesses. Studies have shown that perfectionism causes depression and holds people back from achieving big things in their lives and businesses.

Ibrahim Al-Haidos, founder of Fursan, has had lots of experience with perfectionism in his life. He was raised by a family of perfectionists, and he had the tendency to live his life that way himself for a long time. Now that he has shed those unrealistic expectations of himself and others, he shares his experience with perfectionism and the 5 lessons he has learned from it to build a strong and successful company.

1. Don’t Strive for Perfection

Perfect doesn’t exist. No one and nothing can ever be perfect. And you cannot succeed 100% of the time. It is perfectly acceptable to not achieve the results you were after all of the time. Strive for excellence and do the best you can. If you miss the mark, learn from it and apply those lessons the next time around.

Ibrahim’s family was full of perfectionists. His mother even measured the distance between the plate and cutlery. Initially, Ibrahim believed he couldn’t accept anything less than perfect in his own life and business. But striving for perfection slowed him down in the beginning. “Perfection simply is not possible, but you can achieve excellence. I needed to understand that it is ok not to get it right on the first try.”

“Looking for perfection is the only way to motivate yourself.” – Ronnie O’Sullivan

2. Embrace Diversity

Each employee you hire has his own set of unique skills. Each person will bring her own strengths and weaknesses to the table. Just like you and everything else in this world, your employees are not perfect. Some will be excellent speakers while others struggle with public presentations. Some will excel at learning new technology while others struggle. Never assume that your employees are all equally skilled at everything, and never expect perfection from anyone.

“One of my MBA professors at HEC Paris gave me some brilliant advice. She told me to always treat my employees the way I would want them to treat our customers. What I’ve found is that if you invest heavily in your employees, they will help you build an amazing company.”

3. Always Just Be Yourself

If you own your own business or are a leader within one, remember that you got into that position because of your unique strengths and abilities. Instead of attempting to be someone you are not, be yourself.

Your coworkers and employees don’t expect you to be perfect so never try to be someone you aren’t. They genuinely want to hear your own words, thoughts and feelings. And it is okay to be vulnerable when you don’t have all the answers. People respect you.

4. Put People First

Perfectionists have a tendency to focus on “stuff” rather than the people in their lives. Instead, put your heart and efforts into connecting with the people in your life.  You are a human being, just like your lowest paid employee. You put on your pants the same way as everyone else, act like it. Don’t be afraid to show your human side to people. Be humble. Not only will you get more respect, your employees will work harder for you. People respect people, not machines.

“Being a part of human to human interaction is something I’ve enjoyed immensely.”

5. Trust your People

If you don’t trust the people you hired, you shouldn’t have hired them. And if you do trust your people, show it. Micromanaging your employees will only make them feel unwanted and unnecessary. You hired them to do a job, so let them do it their way.

Accept people as they are. Being flawed is a part of being a human being, and they will get it wrong from time to time. Again, let go of perfectionism and trust that your employees have your best interest at heart.

There is a big difference between perfect and excellent. You can always strive for excellence, but you should never chase perfection nor should you expect it from others. It is a race that cannot be won. Embrace failure. Trust yourself and your employees. Apply this to your life and business, and you will be successful.

How have you embraced, or let go, of perfection? Comment below!

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How to Beat Procrastination as an Entrepreneur in 2 Simple Steps

Entrepreneurs are driven individuals, with a great passion to create innovative businesses and companies that are changing the world. Their determination to see their venture up and running is admirable, and they often display the skills and resilience to persevere in difficult times. Since entrepreneurs usually take higher than normal risks to build and operate their businesses, it’s easy to assume that the pressure to deliver results will help them be uber focused and prevent them from procrastinating.

The company is their “baby,” their own creation and the stakes are high. They have made a decision to escape the 9 to 5 and committed to a life of ups and downs, where success depends fully on them. Knowing that, I was convinced that if a person has passion and a compelling vision, they won’t have a problem to sit and do the work.

They will be motivated and inspired at all times, as they aren’t even perceiving their business as work. Have you heard the popular sentiment : “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life?” If this is true, then why do most entrepreneurs struggle with procrastination?

The reality is that no matter how much you love your work or the pressure you feel to deliver, at times you still find yourself procrastinating. You end up wasting time, doing activities that are not connected to generating revenue or are not even a top priority. I am an entrepreneur and absolutely love my work. I don’t rely on any other sources of income and it’s all up to me if my business will succeed or not. Even knowing this, I still procrastinate often.

After exploring different productivity apps, reminders, accountability structures and many other tools, below are two simple, but very powerful actionable steps to get into action:

1. Prioritizing your daily tasks, starting with the most important one.

The one you usually dread facing the most. There is something about it which makes you avoid it and do all the rest, less important tasks. Everytime you think about it, it gives you that intense feeling of being overwhelmed. You try your hardest to find excuses to keep putting it off. You often say to yourself: “I’m not fully ready…I won’t have enough time to complete it today, so I’ll pick another day when I have less going on. I’m not feeling as energetic as I need to be in order to pitch today, so I’ll do something else.”

At the end of the day It would be in the back of your mind and sitting heavy on your chest. It will make you feel stuck with some unfinished business. As an entrepreneur you are most likely a high-achiever and often beat yourself up when you see that daunting task still marked on the calendar.

Sometimes we allow ourselves the luxury of having too much freedom to create and change our own schedule. As much as we love flexibility, when it comes to procrastination, the solution is rather straightforward. We just have to take action and dive in, which is of course the hardest part. So how do we approach the most daunting task, the one we do our best to avoid? Not knowing how to “trick” ourselves to sit down and actually do the daunting task is one of the reasons we procrastinate.

“The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.” – Vince Lombardi

2. The secret is to break it into really, really small pieces.

You can do it in terms of time or in terms of portions of the project. Here are some examples:

You have to make 10 sales calls today. Your mind might perceive that task as too big . You start thinking about all the people you need to reach out to and the thought of it generates anxiety and overwhelm. Here is the trick: what if you “tell” your brain that all you need to do is 1 call ONLY? Now suddenly, it doesn’t look so bad anymore. One call is pretty easy to do, right?  The trick is to stop your mind right before it starts rationalizing. Don’t allow it to tell you that this isn’t actually true and in reality you have to accomplish all 10 calls. Just trick yourself, it works!

Take another example. If you know any writers, you have probably heard about their golden rule to write a thousand words a day. Writer can also procrastinate. They call it a creative block because they aren’t inspired at this given day. What if they switched their goal to a couple of sentences? Once they create a few sentences, they slowly get into their creative flow.

Often, the biggest challenge is to make the first step. Once you do it, you quickly gain the rewards of feeling accomplished and productive. At the end of the day your level of satisfaction is higher, based on the fact that you worked on your main priority. You feel accomplished and more energetic to finish all the rest of the tasks.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don‘t see the whole staircase.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Practicing doing the hardest thing first has proven to be effective every time. It frees up space in your mind and gives you the opportunity to think about the next major step you need to make. It instantly removes a significant amount of stress and drops the weight off of your shoulders. Breaking it down to small manageable pieces will ensure your ability to get into action quicker and get more done.

Try out these two steps and let me know how they worked for you in the comment section below!

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Time to Get Mushy: Why Emotions Will Help You Succeed at Work

We have always believed that we need to be smart, well-organized, hard-working and tough negotiators to be successful at work. However, has anyone told you to rely on your emotions for success? The answer is probably not since most people tend to believe emotions only get in the way.

However, it is scientifically proven today that the intelligence is only one puzzle piece in the picture of success: your intelligence and hard-working ethics will earn you a promotion at work or a salary increase only when combined with your high integrity, self-esteem, self-awareness, empathy, self-regulation and great social skills, or to sum up, emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify and effectively manage your own and other people’s emotions. Many academic studies over the past decades demonstrated the power of emotional intelligence, and it is now considered the core ingredient of personal and professional success.

EQ includes our self-awareness (knowing our own feelings), self-management (controlling our feelings), motivation, empathy (the skill of understanding other people’s emotions and reacting to them appropriately) and our social skills (negotiating the needs of others with your own and applying empathy).

These skills empower us to accurately assess our emotional triggers and abilities, control our emotional reactions, constructively resolve conflicts, set achievable goals and effectively manage relationships with other people. It’s not your IQ, but your EQ that will make your career skyrocket and your salary reach figures you only dreamt about. But how?

Emotional Fitness and Work Success

According to a research by the Carnegie Institute of Technology, we owe some 85% of our financial success to our people skills such as our ability to communicate, negotiate and act as leaders. In other words, they found that our emotional intelligence skills are highly related to our financial success.

The ability to stay calm and in control of your emotions in challenging situations is greatly valued in everyday life and in business as well. Are you able to keep your emotions under control when things don’t go your way? Can you take responsibility for your actions and predict other people’s actions most of the time? Can you apologize directly when you hurt someone’s feelings, no matter how uncomfortable you might feel? If your answer to these questions is yes, then you may be on a good road to become an exceptional leader.

How to Boost Your Emotional Fitness

Emotional fitness is a key to your career success. Being emotionally fit means that you are able to focus on constructive and creative tasks. It also represents the ability to accept negative feelings and stay in control of them. However, the same way we need regular exercise to stay physically fit, we need a certain practice to boost our emotional intelligence as well.

Use the 4 tips below to improve your EQ and keep emotionally fit:

1. Be Giving

Our personality and thereby our emotional intelligence involves two parts: identity (how we see ourselves) and reputation (how other people see us). Rewarding people tends to be seen as friendly, trusting and cooperative. Others also perceive them as unselfish, proactive and willing to share their knowledge and resources. Whether it is business or personal relationships, everyone likes to be around people who are supportive, eager to help, easy to get along with and can be trusted.

Nobel Prize winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman found that people would rather do business with a person they like and trust than someone they don’t, even though the other person is offering a better product and a lower price.

Both, seeing yourself and being seen as a rewarding, valuable person by others has a power to boost your confidence, improve your communication and negotiation skills and help you climb the corporate ladder successfully.

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. Visualization

A great way to get promoted at work is to show you do not get upset easily and prove you can stay composed when not everything goes according to plan. Try to come up with different imaginary scenarios requiring you to use your EQ skills and work out the possible solutions to them.

For instance, imagine that you are a company manager that needs to terminate a certain number of employees. Stay focused on your emotions and try to apply the best emotional fitness skills to solve this unpleasant situation. How do you react?

Practicing your EQ skills this way will increase your self-esteem, help you gain control over your emotions and boost your social skills. There is even a game where you can learn and practice your people skills.

3. Empathy

Practice your empathy whenever you get a chance. Listen to people actively, putting prejudices and interpretations aside. Try to take up a contrary position in everyday communication especially when dealing with conflicts.

For example, if you think that your teammate is being unreasonable, try defending their position in your head. How do things look from their perspective? Understanding how other people feel is key to having empathy and a sure road to sustainable success.

“Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another.” – Alfred Adler

4. Remember to Be Grateful

If you ask emotionally fit people about the things they are grateful for, they will undoubtedly be able to come up with a long list. Practice a gratitude exercise every morning. After you get up, write down a list of things you are grateful for. This will keep you positive and motivated throughout the day.

You could also count your blessings before you go to sleep. Remember your subconscious mind believes whatever you tell it, so imprinting the positive thoughts into your subconscious is a great way to boost your confidence, self-awareness, motivation and happiness. Our brain cannot store all the information we receive, but you can be in control of what your brain stores. Keep that in mind.

The experience and studies proved that individuals with highly developed emotional intelligence tend to be more successful in all areas of life, personal and business-wise. Nurturing your emotional fitness, you will have the power to accomplish your goals, improve your career and build up your relationships. In short, this will help you to lead a happy and successful life.

How do you use your emotional intelligence on a daily basis? Share with us some of your tips!

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5 Promises Entrepreneurs Should Make for a Robust Business

I remember reading a brilliant piece titled “The Psychological Price of Entrepreneurship”. It resonates because it forces us to look at entrepreneurship for what it really is. It talks about the secret demons, we entrepreneurs carry within us. Entrepreneurship is a scary territory because it is filled with doubt. And here, erring gets easily magnified because everything is out there for everyone to see.

But, as entrepreneurs, we all share a common passion and love for what we do. So despite all the fear, we take the plunge because we want to leave great stories behind us.

In this journey, there are some promises that can make life easier. So let’s make these promises together:

1. I will acknowledge failure and learn from my mistakes

50% of all new business fail within five years. Such failure is more likely to happen when you don’t learn from your past. In your entrepreneurial journey, failure is bound to show up. And it can be crushing, especially when it comes unannounced.

So the first promise you should make yourself is this: “I will acknowledge my mistakes and learn from them.” Letting your mistakes create inconsistency problems is bad for your business. Remember that failing isn’t bad so long as you don’t get stuck. So when you encounter failure, be quick to move on. And carry your lessons with you.

“Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.” – Richard Branson

2. I will be a better listener

The entrepreneurial landscape often stresses on the importance of good public speaking. But it is crucial to remember that great leaders are team players, and they always listen. Listening helps you see things from a different perspective. And in business, this is important.

When you are just starting out, you may view yourself as the only point of command, however, every business, big or small, is run by a team of people working together. Each person adds his/her own value.

Listening helps you understand the intricacies of your business- the problems, the challenges and even the good side. This helps you fine-tune your strategies in a way that is more meaningful to your audience. So, promise to listen to your inner hunches. Promise to listen to your investors, your teammates, your customers.

3. I will be flexible and open to change

It is important to learn to embrace change at the right time. If your idea doesn’t have fruitful translations for the industry, it might be time to bring a change. This change can be in the form of rebranding or something more drastic, like chucking the actual idea and building your business on a different one.

Change comes with its own set of challenges, but well-executed change creates better results. There are several stories of successful pivots in the startup history. Twitter, for instance, started its life as Odeo which was a podcast subscription network. A few months later, Apple announced that iTunes  will have an inbuilt podcasting platform. Competing against an established brand was a big risk so Odeo took Twitter as a side project; the same Twitter which now has 330 million monthly active users.

4. I will create long-term strategies

As an entrepreneur, you are a part of a marathon, not a sprint. From scattering the seeds of your business to finding visibility and getting real results, the journey can be long and arduous. In order to build your brand, you need to create long-term plans which are based on a certain set of values.

Think of Apple, from its very inception, Apple promised to deliver something that has elegance and simplicity. And those core values are still intact. When you think long-term, you are more likely to emerge as thought leaders who shape industry trends. Additionally, long term thinking helps in brand positioning as it helps you craft strategies which make your brand memorable.

“Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time.” – George Bernard Shaw

5. I will stay curious

Entrepreneurship is risky and it may seem a good idea to stick to what you know, but that defeats the very purpose of taking the risk. Also, this mindset prevents you from finding good opportunities because your field of view becomes narrow.

Learning new things helps you to see the various possibilities that exist and reap benefits from it. The dynamics of almost every industry keep changing and there is a constant need to adapt. And adaptation becomes easier when you are curious. Curiosity demands time but the investment is always worth it. So promise to learn something new every day and get out of your comfort zone.

Promises, small or big, mean a lot when they are centered around things we love. These promises ultimately become our driving force. So, let’s pledge to listen more, be more flexible and keep our curiosity alive. Also, let’s make sure to learn from mistakes instead of taking them as setbacks and use them as stepping stones to success.

What promise are you going to make today? Share with us below!

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Jesus Almighty, I Epically Screwed Up A Speech!

One of the greatest skills you can master is public speaking and Warren Buffet agrees.

No Jedi Master skill like public speaking is achieved easily. It takes a lot of practice and a tremendous amount of instant feedback. Many people get up and speak all the time with no feedback and continually make rookie mistakes.

This weekend I competed in my first serious public speaking competition.

JESUS ALMIGHTY, I stuffed it up big time!!!

Here’s what I did wrong:

  Awkwardly cut off audience laughter.

My speech was totally impromptu (that was the contest type) and it ended up being funny without me intending it to be. I see myself as very “unfunny” yet the audience was in hysterics. My topic was “A week doesn’t go by without….”

I chose to address a week not going by without facing fear. I talked about many things but one of them was my fear of blood tests. I described a recent experience which I thought was serious and the audience laughed as I demonstrated how the nurse took my blood like a vampire.

Because I wasn’t prepared for laughter I kept cutting the audience off. I tried to talk over their loud laughter and it didn’t work so well. Oh well, I know for next time now

  No suit.

I walked into the hall like I was Rocky Balboa. My friend walked up to me and said: “How come you’re in runners, jeans and a t-shirt.”

I told him that it was what I was comfortable in. He then informed me that for proper speeches you’re supposed to dress up in a suit or something similar. Error number two.

  Running late.

I left home with fifty minutes to spare before my speaking gig. What I didn’t plan for was the traffic. This made me more stressed than I already was.

“Being on time so you can take a few deep breaths is crucial”

All the other speakers were early. I was so late I nearly missed the briefing. Unlike me, show up thirty minutes early and suss the venue out beforehand. Understand the speaking area, the out of bound parts of the room and take a peek at the audience.

  The green room was awkward.

While you wait to go on stage, you wait in the green room to the side. I’m someone who likes to gather my thoughts and have a few stories in my mind. The usher kept talking to me and I didn’t handle it well.

If this happens to you, explain to the usher politely that you want silence. Try looking out the window if you need to so you can avoid eye contact and show that you’re preoccupied.

  Didn’t talk long enough.

In this particular competition, you’re given a set time and ideally, you go as close to the end of the allocated slot as you can. I forgot to do this. This resulted in my talk being too short. Knowing the ideal time for your speech is crucial in a competition or even for a regular speech.

  I didn’t talk to past contestants.

Many of the people there were friends and people who’d competed before. I forgot to ask for their advice and so I missed the walking around stage part and the timing advice.

Always talk to people who have been in your shoes before and achieved the same goal you’re aiming for. Epic fail on my part

  Needed to use the stage.

In my Toastmasters club, we have a stage that is quite intimate and so we don’t move around much.

At this particular venue, the stage was huge and because I was used to a small stage, I forgot to move around. I stood there completely still, with a strong back, and many hand gestures, and delivered my speech.

Not moving around cost me valuable points although the audience was still thoroughly engaged.

  Some things did go right though…

It’s easy to focus on the negative. I did some things really well and you can try these if you ever end up delivering a speech – you should learn the superpower of speaking by the way.

Here’s what I did right:

  Got into a peak state.

Before the contest started, I listened to my Tony Robbins pump up music mixtape. I sang really daggy songs like Tina Turner – You’re Simply The Best.

As I was driving to the gig, people driving next to me were laughing at my singing actions. Physically feeling your way into a peak state is fundamental. If you feel on top of the world, then you’ll deliver a killer speech in my experience.

  Body language was spot on.

I stood tall and didn’t slouch during my speech. I pushed my shoulders back and chest forward. I told myself “I am the expert!”

I used lots of hand gestures and did a funny demo of what it was like to get a needle in my arm.

  People were laughing very loudly.

Humor in a speech is very hard to do and it gets people’s attention. I did this accidentally and it worked like a treat. Changing people’s state and making them feel positive emotions helps them to remember you, and ultimately vote for you.

“The best way to make people laugh is to make an idiot of yourself on purpose”

I often tell audiences that I’m a huge tall guy, with a big head and spiky hair. It always eases any tension in the room including my own.

  Shared a vulnerable story.

My speech was unique because I talked about the lows of my recent career battles. I showed my battle scars and the emotions that came with them. The story had a beginning, middle and an end.

  There were strong pauses.

Silence and gaps in a speech allow the material to breathe. People need time to take in emotional moments and really feel what you’re saying. Silence adds tension, drama and variety to your speech.

  I rolled up to win, not lose.

My mindset the whole time was that I was going to win. When it came time to announce the winner, I even put my drink bottle away, stood up, and was ready to walk towards the stage. It wasn’t to be.

The main point here though is that I believed in myself – hence I stood up when the winner was announced. You can’t achieve any audacious goal unless you show up to win.

  I used heaps of passion.

I let the audience have everything I had at that moment in time. I left nothing in the fuel tank. I used every ounce of passion, energy and excitement in my body. Passion sells a story and speech better than anything.

People see you as authentic when you show them passion in your speech.

“There are so many presentations, talks and speeches that we’ve all seen where the speaker lacks passion. It’s boring to listen to and forgettable”

You have to capture the audience in the first five seconds with your passion. Show how much you want to be there and put your heart and soul into it.

  The end result.

I screwed up the speech, came last and didn’t make it to the next round. I was the favorite and everyone thought I would win. While I may have messed up the competition I did learn just how powerful public speaking can be.

Being able to move people with your words is a useful skill in every career. Now I have more insight than I ever did before and I’ll come back next year with a new approach. The basics of passion, storytelling and energy are universal though.

Get out there and deliver a speech – that’s my advice to you.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

[nchester]

How You Can Develop the Charisma of Elon Musk

Think about the space industry for a second; one of the world’s most expensive, complex, and bureaucratic industries you can find. Now, imagine one day a software wiz kid decides he wants to start building rockets and compete against large competitors such as Boeing and Lockheed Martin. Although he had no experience in the space industry, after 15 years and billions of dollars spent, this entrepreneur succeeds on disrupting the whole industry, defeating its competitors along the way.

As you can imagine by now, the entrepreneur I’m talking about is Elon Musk. Not only has he disrupted the space industry, but he also changed the financial industry with PayPal, the automobile industry with Tesla Inc., and the renewable energy industry with SolarCity. If there’s one common attribute among all Elon Musk’s successes it’s his charisma.

If you see Elon Musk and wish you had his charismatic personality, don’t despair. Elon Musk wasn’t born charismatic. All you need is learn how to develop your charisma, just like Elon Musk did.

Hit the right level of charisma

When Elon Musk speaks at a press conference, he’s far from looking like Steve Jobs, the classic example of a charismatic CEO. He talks like a normal person would. It turns out having moderate levels of charisma, like Elon, is a good thing. According to a study from Ghent University, it’s more important for CEOs to have a “good enough” level of charisma that fits their personalities best than trying to force looking charismatic.

Researchers measured different charismatic personality traits using 56 questions from the Hogan Development Survey. Researchers then compared the scores from 600 business leaders with their effectiveness rated by their superiors, peers, and subordinates.

They found charisma has diminishing marginal returns; as charisma increased, so did perceived effectiveness, but only up to a point. After a certain point, as charisma scores continued to increase, perceived effectiveness started to decline. “Leaders with both low and high charismatic personalities were perceived as being less effective than leaders with moderate levels of charisma,” said Filip De Fruyt Ph.D., one of the co-authors of the study.

The less charismatic leaders ended up being seen as less effective due to lacking in the vision and strategy, while the more charismatic ones were scored lower due to their weakness in operations. Having a good mix of both vision and execution, as seen in moderately charismatic leaders, seems to be one of the secrets behind Elon’s success.

“You want to have a future where you’re expecting things to be better, not one where you’re expecting things to be worse.” – Elon Musk

Have a presence

One common element among all charismatic CEOs is their presence. According to Amy Cuddy, Harvard psychologist and author of the book by the same name, presence is “the state of being attuned to and able to comfortably express our true thoughts, feelings, values and potential.” Presence is “confidence without arrogance.” It is all about being in the moment.

Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth, considers Elon Musk as a prime example of someone who has mastered the art of charismatic presence. Despite the fact he’s naturally introverted, he can show high levels of intense focus and presence when he speaks. When he speaks to someone, he gives his full attention to a few people, which makes people feel like they are special. Other charismatic leaders that were famous for their intense focus were Bill Clinton and John F. Kennedy.

To develop presence, Cuddy recommends two exercises. The first one is called “power posing,” which consists on adopting the body language of other powerful people, so you feel and act more confident. The second one, self-affirmation, consists on writing down your core values and why they’re meaningful to you.

Have conviction

Take a look at the life of Elon Musk, and you will see in each of his successes he had to overcome a myriad of nerve-wracking challenges. His challenges include avoiding a near bankruptcy by a matter of days and building two separate companies while going through a messy public divorce with his first wife, Justine.

Antonio Gracias, an investor in both Tesla and SpaceX, said Elon Musk: “has the ability to work harder and endure more stress than anyone I’ve ever met. The harder it gets, the better he gets.” After all his setbacks and mistakes, Tesla is valued at over $56 billion, whereas SpaceX is valued at $21 billion.

The only way he was able to keep his companies afloat was his conviction. According to Charlie Houpert, author of Charisma on Command, “conviction is the heart of charisma. It is the belief that things will work out. It’s the belief that somehow, someway your goals will be achieved. It’s being sure of yourself in the face of the unknown“.

“When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favor.” – Elon Musk

The only way you can build conviction like Elon Musk is by believing in yourself regardless of what other people think. Build conviction in everything you do and people will follow you.

Developing charisma is like learning a skill because there are no shortcuts and it takes time. With the right attitude, which includes patience and perseverance, it can be developed. Elon Musk was able to develop his charisma just like he was able to build his company, step by step, mistake after mistake. Follow his steps, and you will be able to develop charisma to become a more effective leader in your own life.

What do you like most about Elon Musk? Share with us in the comments below!

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5 Simple Ways Anyone Can Hack Resilience

Anytime we suffer a gut punch, it’s easy to lose track of the goal and zero in on what went wrong, “why me” thinking, and everything we’ve lost along the way. To bounce back, we have to change our mindset from “shoulda, coulda, woulda” to one that is forward-focused.

These five hacks below can help you achieve that elusive quality called resilience:

1. Be grateful

When you shift your perspective, you completely change your experience of the world around you. No matter what your situation, your mindset will always shape your reality. We all have challenges but if you look around, you can usually find someone who is dealing with challenges worse than your own. So to begin, we can be grateful for our challenges – they are teaching us how to deal with adversity, they are making us stronger, and in most cases they could be worse than they are.

Start by asking yourself, “In this moment, what am I grateful for?” Depending on your circumstances, your first response might be, “nothing.” If that’s the case, start with the smallest most basic thing you can think of and go from there. Recognizing your circumstances are fluid and identifying what you already appreciate creates a mindset for abundance. Being grateful for what you already have is the first step to hacking resilience because it allows you to open yourself up to receive even more.

2. Head butt adversity

Resilience isn’t just our capacity to stand there and take the slings and arrows of life, it’s the power and agility in which we respond. It turns out, we don’t have a limited amount of resilience and that’s good news because when bad things happen, over and over, layered on top of each other, our resilience doesn’t have to tap out.

We can build unlimited strength, agility, and speed in our response by learning to effectively “bounce,” and we can do that even before adversity hits. A situation only has the meaning you give it. You get to decide if it is something that will stop you in your tracks or if you will frame it as a challenge that offers a opportunity to learn and grow.

For every negative or difficult event that happens to you today, reframe the meaning you give it in your life. The circumstance itself has no power over you, but your response to it does. When a difficult situation arises, ask yourself these two questions: How could this be an opportunity in disguise and what does this make possible?

See yourself as the one in charge of your own fate, and seize that opportunity. Even in the difficult moments, by deliberately choosing the meaning you give to those moments and the power they have over you, you can build resilience and thrive.

“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” – Ernest Hemingway

3. Cut yourself some slack

We get discouraged about our life when we compare it to others, something that has become especially toxic in the age of social media. What people post on Facebook is their “highlight reel.” The rest of their life is pretty ordinary so if you’re comparing the totality of your life with the highlight reel of others, you’re bound to feel a little alone and discouraged when bad things happen.

The truth is, we all have setbacks. Every single one of us with no exception. Allow yourself a little breathing room when adversity hits. Breathe deeply as often as possible, and give yourself a little time to catch your breath, lick your wounds, and come back swinging.

4. Discover the lesson

Everything that happens in our life is an opportunity for growth. If we allow every life event to shape us in a positive way, we will gain something, even from circumstances that seem to have no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Viktor Frankl was a Swiss psychiatrist who watched many of his fellow prisoners in Auschwitz commit suicide after losing their entire families to genocide. He too had lost his family and even contemplated suicide until one day he had a vision of himself on stage, speaking about how he survived, and he knew he still had something left to do. It gave him hope and the will to live, to survive and thrive, and discover meaning in the moment.

When we frame adversity as an opportunity to learn something about ourselves, it gives meaning to the suffering. This allows us to see put the suffering in context and no longer feel that our challenges are pointless.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor E. Frankl

5. See the opportunities

A family member’s protracted illness may bring other family members closer as they team up to take care of their loved ones. Being let go from a mediocre job may lead to an opportunity you never would have seen if you were still working.

When bad things happen, we tend to assume that everything about the circumstance is negative. But this isn’t really true. No matter how terrible things have become, there is always something good that will come out of something bad. Always. The problem is we don’t usually see it in the moment, because we’re just not looking for it.

For every negative event you experience, the sooner you choose to seek and embrace the good that could come out of it, the quicker you will move forward and experience the resilience you never thought possible.

What do you do in order to overcome the struggles in your life? Let us know in the comments below!

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Your Mentors Won’t Last Forever: They Come And Go.

I wanted to say a little something about mentors. I think many people have forgotten a few details.

Let’s start with this: Mentors come into your life when you least expect and they leave in the same way. Most mentors do not stay in your life forever.

Over the last five years, I’ve had many, but six of them stick out. They are Andrew, Ben, David, Walter, Shannon and Karl.

Each of these mentors came into my life during a time when I thought I was hopeless or didn’t know what was next. Right now, in my career, I’ve reached that familiar crossroad again. The existing line-up of mentors have no answers.

That’s when I realized once again that mentors don’t last forever.

As you get to the various levels of life, you need different mentors, and mentors that are consistently playing several levels above you.

  Why are mentors important?

They help you get out of rock-bottom, they challenge you, they tell you what you don’t want to hear, they give you suggestions, and sometimes, they even give you opportunities.

The crux of a mentor is to be an advisor. They don’t make the decision for you though and often they have more questions than answers.

Many people have reached out to me to be their mentor and thought that somehow, I would have lots of answers for them.

The truth is I don’t have many answers but what I do have is some powerful questions.

  How will you know a mentor has arrived on the scene?

Mentors are leaders looking to create more leaders.

Not everyone fits this description. Mentors give without necessarily expecting much in return. Their return is seeing you grow, which often helps them grow. Said another way, mentors grow through you and your progress in life.

  That doesn’t mean that mentorship is a one-way street.

“Many people think that a mentor is your free servant to push around and drain with 101 questions”

This idea is wrong. Mentors owe you nothing and a one-way relationship leads to Nowhereville.

With my mentors, I always try to find some way I can add value back to their life. It may not be in the same proportion to what they’ve done for me, but it’s not a competition to see who has the bigger you-know-what.

Going into a mentorship relationship with a mutual value mindset (geez that’s a fancy sounding phrase Tim!) is how you make sure you don’t burn mentors.

  Just because someone has answers today, doesn’t mean they will tomorrow.

There are times when my mentors are all out of advice or they repeat the same advice over and over which I’ve already heard. That’s one of the reasons why mentors don’t last forever.

“There’s no one Yoda Mentor that will guide you for the rest of your life and career”

Mentors need to come and go based on where you are today and where you’re going.

  Don’t be afraid to move a mentor on.

Sometimes it’s best to own up to the fact that regular chats with a mentor may no longer be valuable. It’s okay to thank someone for their time and move them on.

You’re in charge of your life and career remember? As long as you start with respect and end in gratitude – that applies to everything in life – you’ll never burn a mentor or another human being for that matter.

  And what about you young mentee?

That’s right – when are you going to return the gift of mentorship?

This is the question I’ve asked myself recently. Mentors have been great to me and you have to return the favor. We all have hidden value and wisdom inside of us, and it’s a crime not to let it out through 1-1 mentorship.

  Actually, nothing lasts forever.

Mentors are not the only thing that won’t last forever. Everything you’ve ever known won’t last forever. So, let’s not dwell on what was, what is, or what could have been.

Mentors will come and go and that’s a good thing.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

[nchester]

Management vs. Leadership – Same Jungle, Different Rules

Imagine you’re a part of a filming team and you want to do a movie shot deep in the Amazonian rainforest. You need a specific waterfall shot under the moonlight which occurs only once every 4 years. So you recruit the best directors, field operatives, foot guides (for the jungle marsh), producers and more. Everything that you need to go through the jungle and shoot the movie.

These guys go through the jungle effectively. They cut down all the trees and marsh on the way, prepare food, water, and medicine. They are fast, create the right path and move through the jungle under all the rules and regulations. That is what they were trained for and they conquer the jungle.

The team and you come to the right spot to shoot the scene with the waterfall but it isn’t there. And just then, you hear the guy from the top of a tree yelling at you for the past 3 days “Wrong jungle!”

Efficient and Effective. What does it have to do with leadership and management?

The 2 intersecting fields, often confused and misdefined, have been the cornerstone of today’s economy and entrepreneurship. For years, it was all about management but then leadership kicked in. Everyone started praising Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, and Jack Ma for their vision, implying that is was all about leadership. But management and leadership are just different sides of the same coin.

Management is all about playing the field and being the most efficient you can be. This is where you ask the bottom-line question “How can I best accomplish certain things?” And you need this if you want to succeed. But with no direction, even the most efficient teams will fail like we have seen with the filming crew.

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” – John Maxwell

This is where leadership comes into the play. Leadership is all about seeing the bigger picture and having a holistic approach to the matter. As a leader, you decide which is the right jungle to fight in. You see which is the right jungle for your guys and decide on the direction your team is heading for.

Leadership is all about being effective (doing the right things). This is where you ask the top-line question “What are the things I want to accomplish?” But even the best leaders, the biggest visionaries are worthless without the right team on the field which creates a reality from that vision. You need both management (doing things right) and leadership (doing the right things).

But people often go into extremes of one and ignore the other which leads to a catastrophe (Enron, Blockbuster, Polaroid etc.). So let’s see what that looks like and how, if you find yourself in that position, you can fix it.

The Lone Visionary

We see this quite often, especially in today’s world where the disruption of big companies by “garage“ companies and one-man shows is a rule instead of a mere coincidence. Lone visionaries have the idea. They see the world not as it is, but as it can be. They have big ideas where some of those can disrupt the industries, turning them upside down and with it, the world.

But the problem with lone visionaries is in the first word, they are (a)lone. A mere vision, or knowing which jungle is worth taking on, is only half of the equation. Without the right team on the field and proper management, the vision will remain just that, a vision.

Convincing other people that your vision is possible, that it will change the world and that people will never look at that the same, is what differentiates the lone visionaries from the best leaders in the world.

“A great person attracts great people and knows how to hold them together.” – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

“Do you want to spend the rest of your life selling sugared water or do you want a chance to change the world?“, is what Steve Jobs asked the CEO of PepsiCo, John Sculley at their meeting. And that sentence became the reason why Sculley went from a secure and highly paid position at Pepsico, into joining a bunch of young computer nerds on the West coast. Your biggest weapon is your vision. Convince people in that and it will attract people who can put that vision into reality.

The Directionless Juggernaut

These are the perfect managers and workers. They have the skills, knowledge, and attitude which they crafted for years and years. The best managers, problem-solvers, and people who turn visions into realities.

They are the people who know how to cut their way through the jungle because they focus on the trees and marsh, not the entire jungle.  But more often than not, this focus makes them end up in the wrong jungle.

Without a holistic approach or a vision, this team becomes the Directionless Juggernaut. It can be a powerful force with the right vision and direction, but without that sense of direction, it becomes the worst nightmare.

The way you handle this is not by doubling down on efficiency (more management), but by inserting some effectiveness (leadership) into it. Invest in creating the vision or find someone who already has a vision and let that serve as a True North.

The Perfect Team

When vision meets delivery or better yet, when management meets leadership, that’s where we have a disruption of industries and eventually of the world. Steve Jobs or Elon Musk didn’t create stuff alone, they had their teams which created a reality out of their visions. In today’s world, it’s crucial to have both.

So tell me, are you doing things right or are you doing the right things? Comment below!

[nchester]

How to Permanently Heal the Parts of You That Are Secretly Hurting

Dale Carnegie said “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion” and he was absolutely right. What I would add to that statement, which is even more poignant is that you, being a person, are an emotional creature.

How often do you prioritize dealing with your emotions? Soft subjects such as lingering emotional wounds are often overlooked especially in business. But do you know those emotional hurts that seem totally unrelated to your professional life could very well be messing with your success?

For some, of us it’s been ten, twenty, thirty years… but that emotional wound that devastated and traumatized us still has a stronghold in our present reality. It is time to dissolve that energy draining monster. I can assure you, the squabbles in your relationships, the lack of passion, intimacy, even low finances have a lot more to do with that wounded heart you carry around than you might think.

“Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.” – Napoleon Hill

I know, I know what you’re thinking…your stressful work situation and the unpredictable changes of the marketplace are actually the reason behind your continued financial woes. What if I told you it’s not entirely accurate? Even in the worst of conditions there are always those who continue to grow and thrive. Why can’t you be among them?

The best prosperity hack

Most of us don’t realize just how integral love is in our daily lives. In this human journey which you – a spiritual being-  made the decision to embark on, love is the fundamental ingredient that holds everything together.

Love for the human Soul is in fact what gravity is for the formed universe. When love goes into crisis mode, the repercussions of not fixing that error manifest themselves in different ways for different people.  For the most part, based on my experience, I can see it creates a never-ending loop of dystopia.

Many of us have been so accustomed to living a life driven by fear, pain, anger, and resentment that even after we learn about spiritual truths and universal laws we still prefer to procrastinate. We delay working on the one thing that is most integral to our well-being because we are fearful of entering into that part of our mind.

Your mind is a beautiful garden. It is, in fact, your garden of Eden, if only you can “man up” and restore the parts that have been poisoned almost to the point of death by those who influenced you during your formative years as well as those you co-created with in negative ways.

Yes, I fully acknowledge that you have been hurt in the past. The real you got drained by those pesky energy sucker. Resentment, guilt, shame, and pain flood your veins whenever some of those memories come to mind. But dear reader, those same memories of what once attempted to destroy you but didn’t are only that – active memories that you keep alive in your mind.

The dark, scary part of your mind where you procrastinate going for the fear that a monster too big to handle lives is actually the part of your garden that is now streaming poisonous substance to the rest of your affairs. And no one deserves to be free of those old wounds more than you. No one deserves to prosper in our modern digital economy more than you.

With all the information, opportunities and resources our digital age offers, your future will be nothing short of a miracle. But you must learn to be brave enough to heal the parts of you that remain wounded.

The only way to heal is through the practice of self-love

Looking for yet another remedy, another prescription, another tactic or another guru only gets you to the gate. But you need to walk in alone and do the work alone because the real game of life is played from the inside out.

With the knowledge, power and practice of true self love, you will come to the full realization that behind that disease, behind that financial debt, behind that feeling of loneliness or whatever else your fear-based monster has manifested as in the physical world – is a hardened negative emotion and belief that only needed love to dissolve as ice does under the warmth of the shining sun.

“Self-love is the source of all of our other loves.” – Pierre Corneille

A man in my prosperity workshop recently said, “this all sounds nice Janette but I don’t see how this will solve my current business issues.” And I said, well – with that attitude, of course, it won’t! We need to learn that not all things in life need to be complex to be right. Sometimes, it is the simplest answer that is the right answer.

Oftentimes, our biggest obstacles only feel insurmountable because we are already emotionally and energetically drained by past wounds that are silently running actively in the background. So we have no way of securing our next victory because not only do we harbor pains we can’t explain but we also feel overwhelmed and stressed by everything.

I say it’s time to take a different approach. Try something new. So far you’ve been doing what everyone else says. You’ve hidden your emotions well, you’ve suppressed your fears, locked up a part of your mind with memories that are obviously heavy for you and it chokes you with all kinds of negative feelings whenever they come up.

Instead of bottling them up, why not turn around and consciously allow yourself to face this monster head on. Can you be bold enough to allow yourself to be gutted by those things that hold you captive? If you do, don’t be surprised when you realize that you are indestructible. Then as you begin practicing self-love as suggested, you will discover the missing piece that was needed in order for you to prosper.

What are some things you do to heal yourself from all of the hurt, pain or anger? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

[nchester]

The Journey Of Essentialism And The Benefits.

I’ve become a minimalist of late and in the last few weeks, I’ve embraced essentialism.

I previously had never heard of this phrase “essentialism” and I’ve since discovered that it’s truly profound and life-changing. The best description of essentialism comes from Greg McKeown. He says what you need to tell yourself and the core truths of essentialism are:

“Only a few things matter” “I choose to” “I can do anything but not everything”

  The art of being selective.

Some would say I’m very picky. I say no to a lot of things. I probably say no three times more than I say yes. I don’t do this because I’m a knob; I do it because being an essentialist gives you respect.

Saying no to things that don’t matter to me and that I’m not passionate about allows me to say yes to the tasks that bring me joy and fulfillment.

I’ve learned that this practice makes people respect you. When you do things that have meaning, you perform much better. This increased performance becomes the foundation of a newfound respect.

  “Less but better.”

Greg McKeown says that phrase is the most fitting definition of essentialism.

“It’s not about getting more things done it’s about better results with few tasks”

You can either be mediocre at everything or a professional at a couple of things. Professionals get all the results and satisfaction that comes with being a true master at a particular skill.

It’s pretty simple logic when you think about it – most good advice is which is something I repeat often.

For me, this less but better equals only five things: blogging, looking after my health, family, public speaking and my career. Everything else has had the delete button engaged since I recently became an essentialist.

Essentialism and minimalism are a beautiful marriage I’ve discovered, too!

  Am I investing in the right tasks?

That’s the question I’ve been inspired to ask. My addiction to shopping, as an example, took up lots of my time. This gave me less time to create content. When I re-evaluated all the things I was doing each week I realized there were some core tasks that were draining my time:

– Consuming social media like Instagram – Excessive shopping – Pointless coffee catch-ups – Networking events that were nothing to do with what I like

By using the art of essentialism, I deleted these tasks from my schedule. This gave me time to get better at what truly mattered to me. Every place you allocate time is an investment. The more time you put into a task, the more your results will grow.

It’s a similar analogy with money and compound interest. In the beginning, investing in stocks or other investments doesn’t produce much fruit. After years of doing it, the compound effects of interest and dividends begin to shine through.

Think of your time as an investment and reduce the number of tasks. This mindset will help put you on the path to essentialism. Less is better remember?

  We shouldn’t be trying to complete more tasks.

Having a huge to-do list of tasks is not how you embrace the benefits of essentialism. The key to all of this is to do less things and focus on getting the right tasks done. Over the last few weeks, I’ve used this idea to focus on the right task: in my case, blogging.

“For years I have been knocking off tasks from my to-do list and hi-fiving everyone without realizing that most of it was BS”

Who cares if I just ran 5km? It’s not one of my goals.

Knocking off tasks from a to-do list is not productivity and it’s definitely not effective or even close to essentialism. In fact, you shouldn’t even need a to-do list. If you are doing the right tasks that matter to you, then they should already be top of mind.

My thought patterns in this regard are like this:

“Did I write a blog post today?” “Did I inspire someone today through personal development and entrepreneurship?”

If I didn’t, then I’m doing the wrong tasks. That’s when I go back and look at what tasks I’m actually completing.

  A word on success and essentialism.

Success can mess you up (I should know I’m Addicted2Success remember?).

When people achieve their big goals, they quickly embrace their success and forget what got them there in the first place. When I had several viral blog posts, I started doing lots of stuff like emails, podcasts, events, etc.

What I’d forgotten was what got me that success in the first place. What got me there was working my butt off writing and inspiring as many people as I could.

Moving away from the very thing that made us successful is how you trade in your good fortune for a lack of fulfillment through disappointment and failure.

Never forget where you came from and what made you successful in the first place. Never forget to be grateful for your success at the same time as well.

Success can become a big distraction because it’s addictive. It gives you a sensational dopamine hit with all the admiration, likes, high-fives and “You’re so cool Tim!”

All of this can distract you from what you really should be doing. That is, doing the thing you love and completing tasks that matter to you.

  Finding the core of your own essentialism.

To be an essentialist, you need to find the core activities that are going to occupy your time. Greg McKeown says you should ask yourself the following:

“What do I feel deeply inspired by?” “What am I particularly talented at?” “What meets a significant need in the world?”

These questions will lead to the small number of tasks you should focus on. These are the tasks you should go narrow and deep on.

Here are my answers:

“I feel deeply inspired by personal development and entrepreneurship and how it can change people’s lives.”

“I am particularly talented at blogging, social media and making connections with people.”

“What meets a significant need in the world is the tools and strategies required to achieve your life’s work. These are the tools that I’ve learned and want to share.”

Just writing those three answers made me think very hard. I actually got a lot out of that exercise and I’d strongly recommend answering those questions for yourself.

Finding your purpose is very cliché but it’s still fundamental. Knowing what drives you and how you can help people will allow you to be focused and ultimately join the essentialist way of living.

  What do you do with the extra time?

This was a question I asked myself. The simple answer is: do more of the tasks that matter to you. For me, that’s more blogging.

“The challenge is that if all you ever do is achieve and that’s all, you’ll never get time to think. You’ll never get time to grow”

The biggest thing that essentialism has done for me is give me time to think.

The temptation nowadays is to use moments of free time like commuting, waiting in queues and time between meetings to look at our phones.

What you should do with the extra time is think more. Thinking allows you to reflect on what you’re doing, come up with ideas and ultimately innovate. Thinking also gives you time to be grateful and be present. You can’t always be “ON” and your mind needs a break.

It’s in these moments of thinking, combined with deep sleep, that new neural pathways are formed in the brain. In simple terms, it’s when all of your thoughts, ideas and activities make connections with each other and contribute to the meaning of your life.

Many of you are so focused on achieving that you never stop for a moment to analyze where you are. This idea of using time to think and do nothing was a very serious lesson I got from essentialism.

  We’ve been sold the idea that we need more.

This idea comes mostly from business who want to profit from this idea by selling us products and services we don’t need. Everything in your life takes up space, so the real answer is that less is in fact how you get more of what you want.

Having more has never brought me happiness. Contributing to others has given me all the joy and fulfillment I’ll ever need and that’s ultimately how you have more.

You can’t have more though unless you have time to make that contribution to others.

When someone or something tells you that you need more, ask yourself “What’s the worst that can happen if I do less instead?”

Using this pattern interrupt will stop you from unconsciously trying to accept more into your life. Less is always going to be better.

  Almost everything is non-essential.

As you dig deep into essentialism and also personal development, you reach a point where you realize one thing:

“Almost everything is unimportant and doesn’t matter.”

This life-changing moment comes from the realization that we are all going to die and after we’re gone there’s not much that really matters other than our family and our legacy.

So, if nothing really matters, then why not do less so that you can spend time on what matters: your legacy.

When I figured out that almost everything was pointless, I became hyper-focused. It also stopped me from “The Fear Of Missing Out” because I’ve realized that I’m almost never missing out on anything at all.

  What can I say no to?

This question is how you get back your priorities. Using the essentialist methodology, rate how you feel about a request for your time using 0-100. If your number is less than 90, then change it to zero and say no.

I’ve played around with this tool a bit and it’s been adapted from other strategies I’ve learned from many books on time and decision making (so I take zero credit).

Choosing brutal ways of saying no is how you force your brain to pick only what is essential. It also stops you from overthinking.

It’s similar to the idea made famous by Derek Sivers idea that teaches us to only say yes to requests that make you say “Hell Yes!” Any other reaction is a no.

  This got my attention: using a reverse pilot.

I’d never heard of this idea before until recently. It’s essentially where you experiment with removing a task or habit for a week or so to see if there is any downside. I removed my habit of juicing recently after my naturopath told me to try it.

I used a reverse pilot and measured my energy levels without juice. It turns out the sugar spike I was getting from juicing was more of a problem than I thought.

Taking stuff away can often show you how unimportant something was in the beginning.

  A new definition of wisdom: subtract things every day.

Yet another excellent idea from Greg McKeown. Wisdom is simply subtracting things from your life. It’s dead simple, profound and worth thinking about. What if having less, doing less, actually equal more? More of what you want that is.

What if doing less and embracing simplicity is crucial to success?

Have a play with essentialism. It’s certainly helped me.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

[nchester]

7 Ways to Bounce Back from Losing Your Job

Whether you’ve been laid off, fired or even quit voluntarily, losing a job can land like a kick in the crotch. It’s not just the vanished paychecks, you may feel like a door has slammed behind you, shutting you out from an identity, a community. You may find yourself in a storm of difficult emotions: shock, anxiety, shame, anger. That’s all normal, but it’s hard to handle.

Here are 7 ways you can bounce back from losing a job:

1. Grieve privately and develop a public “exit statement”

Many of us process our feelings by “venting.” Okay, but be careful who you complain to about what went down with your job, because everyone you know is potentially part of your job hunting network. Any acquaintance might become influential, however indirectly, when you start looking for a new job. If you seem upset or bitter they may well sympathize, but they may hesitate to recommend you or to make introductions.

So avoid talking about your job loss to people other than your closest friends and family until you’ve had a chance to calm down. Meanwhile, prepare a brief statement you can use to answer the question “What happened to your job?” Keep it short and sweet, like this:

“A business decision was made that eliminated 10 positions, including mine. There’s a silver lining to it, because now I can look for an opportunity that’s a better fit.”

If you were fired, your exit statement might sound more like this:”I’ve left X company. There have been some changes in the company/my role/my interests that make it not as great a fit for me as it was in the past. The bright side is, this gives me an opportunity to get out and find something better. I’m going to look for opportunities doing . . .”

Prepare your exit statement as soon as possible after leaving, because there are many situations where your “between jobs” status may come up in conversation. And whatever you do, don’t freak out on Facebook, traumatize on Twitter and sniffle on Snapchat. The Internet is Forever. Keep your online image positive.

“Success is measured by how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” – George S. Patton

2. If you’ve been fired, know you’re in good company

Many extremely successful people have gotten the axe, from Lee Iacocca to Madonna. They went on to bigger and better things. If you’re angry, just remember that living well is the best revenge.

3. Give immediate attention to any safety nets available to you

If you’re eligible for unemployment insurance, file for it without delay. Consider COBRA or another health insurance option; it may be expensive but a medical emergency while unemployed can be crippling. Contact your creditors and ask about short-term hardship programs that might let you miss payments without penalties.

4. Nurture your natural resilience and heal yourself

We all have some amount of resilience, an ability to bounce back. We can build it up, according to the American Psychological Association, by doing these things:

Accept that change is a part of living.

Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems.

Move toward your goals.

Take care of yourself.

Taking care of yourself may not come naturally if your job separation was traumatic, but moping around the house watching TV, drinking and drowning your woes in junk food will leave you more depressed than you started. Treat your brain and body with respect.

Effective ways to heal include brief therapies such as CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), hypnotherapy, prayer, meditation, journaling, exercise, and learning to encourage yourself.

Just waiting for time to “heal all wounds” is not always such a great plan.

5. Take some time off if you want but beware of the gap

Employers are suspicious of job seekers who linger in “long-term unemployment,” generally defined as six months or more. The longer that gap grows, the harder it gets to sell yourself. Don’t let that happen to you. Take a renewing vacation or “staycation” for a few weeks, but set a date to get started on your job search.

If you’re determined to take a lengthy sabbatical, do something constructive that will look good on your resume. Volunteer, travel, go back to school, join the Peace Corps, write a book. Have something to say for yourself when you’re ready to go back to work. If it’s work-related, all the better.

“When everything seems to be going against you remember that an airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford

6. Review your career direction if necessary

Does losing your job make you want to rethink your career? Now is the time to explore your options. Use the “Advanced Search” features on sites like Indeed and LinkedIn to enter various combinations of skills and qualifications. See what jobs come up. Do informational interviews, read a book or get career counseling.

Free-lance work can be a great test flight and gap-filler, and it may develop into something more. When I was laid off from my corporate training department job in 2008 I assumed I wanted to continue in the same field. I found myself on the verge of being hired, only to realize I had zero excitement about taking the job. I turned it down, thinking there must be something better.

With unemployment benefits running out I needed cash. Since I had some background in writing resumes and coaching job seekers, I put an ad on Craigslist and started getting clients. I discovered I loved the work and being self-employed. It grew into a profitable new career and I’ve never looked back.

There are endless possibilities for operating your own business. If entrepreneurism appeals to you and if you’ve got what it takes to be happy in it, go for it. Most people, on the other hand, prefer the stability of a regular job.

7. Plan a “best practices” job search

You may have lucked into jobs in the past. Maybe you were referred by a contact or recruited by headhunters. That may happen again this time, or it may not. You may be surprised how much you need to work hard – and work smart – this time around.

Don’t just sit in front of the computer applying to jobs hundreds of other people are applying to. Get out and do some networking meetings and informational interviews.  

Make sure your resume, LinkedIn profile, cover letters and interview skills are the best they can be. Study articles and books by job search experts. Consider hiring a career coach. All of this can help you get back in the game a lot faster.

In the long run, losing your job may be the best thing that ever happened to you. A few months down the road you may find yourself in a better role, thinking what a blessing in disguise it was to leave that old job in the dust. Turn losing your job into the start of a better life.

How do you recover from losing your job? Comment below!

[nchester]

I’m Consistently Being Featured In Medium’s Top Stories – Here’s How.

All of us who visit Medium.com secretly want to be featured, gain claps and spread our message to the world.

Many of you email me and ask me how I managed to get featured in major publications both on Medium and off Medium (like CNBC).

There’s no point holding onto the strategies. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and then no one gets to benefit from what I’ve learned. I want you all to share your message so I can selfishly read it to and be inspired.

Enough preamble, sarcasm and pointless self-promotion. Let’s get to the advice.

Here’s how I consistently get featured in Medium’s Top Stories:

  Be you – don’t be afraid to make a dick of yourself.

There’s nothing better than reading a bloggers work who clearly doesn’t care what people think about them. It’s refreshing to see people be vulnerable and be okay with making a dick of themselves.

Drop the mask and take the Micky out of your life.

Make us feel something. Make us laugh. Make us remember you.

Most of all, share some wisdom that can be valuable to all of us.

  Leverage top publications.

Let’s keep this really simple: On Medium, you can either write under your own name or write for a publication. Always try and write for a publication.

Publications have their own followers whereas you probably have zero. By publishing through a Medium Publication, you leverage their audience – plain and simple.

Okay, next problem. There are hundreds of publications. Which one do I choose Yoda Tim?

1. Go to Google 2. Type Medium Top Publications 3. Start from the top of the list and work your way down

Okay, I could have given you the link but I want you to do some work.

Strategy One

So, you found the top publication. Congratulations you’ve mastered Google! Email the publication and ask to be added as a writer. Send them an exclusive article that is your best work. If your content is good, then they might add you as a writer.

Strategy Two

Start with a lesser known publication who doesn’t have every man, woman and dog emailing them to be a writer, write some stuff, gain some traction, then try a top publication again.

Follow this process, rinse, and then repeat.

  Real stories.

Medium readers are junkies for stories. Share stories that are interesting that have happened to you or someone you know.

“People will clap the sh*t out of your articles on Medium if you share interesting stories that we can all learn from”

Use a story and share some lessons. This format works well.

If you have no good stories (I highly doubt it) turn a recent book you have read into an article. Share the lessons from the book in your own words, with your own opinions.

  Show the real you.

There’s Tim Denning who has a cookie cutter profile picture taken by a $400 an hour photographer, with a perfectly dry-cleaned suit and an amazing bio. He’s never missed a meditation session, goes to the gym, eats healthy food and is impeccable with his time.

Then there’s the real Tim Denning who suffered from anxiety, had a near miss with cancer, has a fear of public speaking, procrastinates a lot, doesn’t know what he’s doing most of the time, and can be a half whit sometimes. Version two of the above is the one you want to aim for.

“Medium readers don’t fall for fake Instagram models with perfect bio’s”

They want the truth. Give it to them.

  Being nice to people who contact me.

Once you get a few readers on Medium that clap you until you’re deaf and send you messages, you’ll have to respond to them. The first tip is put your email address in your bio. Make it easy for people to engage with you.

When you get messages from readers, respond to them – not every single one otherwise you’ll never actually write any articles. But engage with as many as you can. A three-sentence reply is often enough.

You’ll get messages from fans asking for your opinion or advice. Give it to them. Be human. Be nice. Be humble. If you get asked the same questions a lot (I know I do), then write articles like this and send them a link to it when they ask you a question you’ve answered before.

Take a few fans under your wing. Send them messages which help them and give away all your secrets. These fans will become raving fans and that will make your content spread tenfold.

  Collaborating with other bloggers.

Having other Medium bloggers help you is another little hack.

For example, my buddy Anthony Moore who also writes for Medium, shares my stuff and quotes me, and I do the same – I’m doing it right now

Other bloggers can teach you what they do and then you can pick and choose the bits that work for you. Blogging is a community. Don’t be all about you and your articles. Share other people’s work and collaborate.

  Writing consistently (minimum three times a week).

I’m about to sound like Gary Vaynerchuk. You have to do the work. Meaning: you must publish articles to be consistently featured in the top stories section of Medium. That line makes sense if you think about it.

“If people see you once a month they’ll forget you because the Internet will distract them with notifications, porn, sugar-rich food, fake models and a feeling they are not enough”

The only way to rise above this is to be consistent. You need to be aiming for three articles a week if you want traction on Medium. Ideally, every day if you can.

There’s always a break out blogger or two who write one article that goes viral and then you never hear from them again – this is not the norm though.

  Reading other people’s blog posts.

Guess what? If you follow the previous step and write heaps then you may have days where you run out of ideas. That’s why it’s good to read other people’s content.

You’ll be inspired by other headlines and stories, and then you can change up what you’ve read and give your side of the story.

After all, there’s no one person who is right 100% about the topic of fear as an example. We all have a viewpoint that’s slightly different or sometimes radically different. Share yours.

  Keeping my stories and advice simple (easy to follow language)

The best compliment I consistently get is this: “Tim, your advice is really simple and English is not even my first language.”

The whole world doesn’t bow down to western culture or understand English for that matter. Keep this in mind when you are writing.

Keep your advice simple.

Keep your English simple and try not to use too many big words. None of us can be arsed having to use the dictionary every few words just so you can feel smart when you are writing. It’s not about you.

  Gaining feedback from publication owners.

Just because you submit an article on Medium to a publication – or for that matter any publication – it does not mean they will accept it and publish it thus resulting in access to their valuable audience.

I write regularly for the Personal Growth Publication and I noticed a few articles were getting rejected. I emailed the publication and asked them the following:

1. Hey, is there anything I can do to increase the quality of my content? 2. Are there any types of articles I should avoid submitting? 3. Generally, what are the main reasons my articles are missing the mark?

As long as you ask nicely and be polite, the publication will tell you. Once you know more about how they think and what they are looking for, you can be more targeted with what you submit and therefore increase the rate you’re published.

Happy publication, happy audience, happy blogger – that’s how it goes on Medium.

Use these tips, and you too can get featured on Medium’s top stories.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

[nchester]

How to Ace Your Success: 6 Straightforward Ways to Achieve High Results

In 1922, Albert Einstein was in Tokyo when he learned that he was going to be awarded the Nobel Prize. Out of cash, his “tip” to a bellboy at his hotel was a handwritten note, which he told would be worth more than a tip someday…it was. At a recent auction that note went for $1.3 million. What was in that note? His recipe for success, “A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness.”

Many who are probably wealthier than you (Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, etc.) have defined success differently. True, they have great wealth, but they have also come to understand that a successful life is one of balance – of passion for the work you do, of taking time to self-reflect, of giving back, and of building relationships. Through the years, I have learned a few things about getting to success. Maybe I will never be a billionaire or even a multi-millionaire, but I know now I will always be financially well off and a happier person because of a few behaviors I have learned.

Here are the six behaviors that you will want to think about:

1. Get Off Autopilot

Think about your daily routine. We get up, go through the same morning preparation for work, and then go about that work in almost robotic fashion. We commute to work or we sit down in our home office, as I do, and begin the same daily grind that consumes at least 8 hours of our time.

My epiphany came from a single experience. I had a late afternoon meeting with a client and, as I was walking to my car, I passed a concert hall where a gospel group was performing. I could go home and hammer out the details of the contract or I could take an hour or so and have a new experience.

Something drove me through those doors. What I discovered was not religion, but passion. I didn’t make huge life changes, but what I did do is reflect on what I felt passionate about.

2. Talk Less, Listen More

Sometimes we are not really listening to what other people are saying. I was so bad at this that I could not even remember the names of people being introduced to me in meetings. It took a simple half-day workshop on communication to make me see the error in my ways.

I have changed a bad habit. When I am introduced, I repeat the individual’s name in my response (it helps me remember that name); I ask a question rather than launch into “talk.” What this change has accomplished, I cannot place on a graph or chart. However, I can say that when I listen rather than talk, I build business relationships that result in contracts.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” – Stephen R. Covey

3. Moderation in All Things

This has come from ancient Greek philosophy and it holds true today. The operative word here is balance, in work, in play, in diet, and in relationships. When you lead a balanced life of all things in moderation, you are actually more interesting to be around. You have more general knowledge; you have more things to talk about.

People come to enjoy you more, and you can relate to their interests too. If you are obsessed with football, for example, and watch every televised game, follow the rankings, etc., you will have little else to talk about. When you meet with a potential customer, client, or even in a job interview, what else can you talk about?

4. Positivity

If you have never read Norman Vincent Peale’s book, The Power of Positive Thinking, read it now or pick up other contemporary books on the matter. Here is the point: Our thoughts control our actions. Your mood controls everything from your physical posture, your projection of confidence and enthusiasm, and your approach to others.

It’s hard sometimes, but one thing I have done is this: I have a sign on my fridge door – “Gratitude.” I see it every morning, and it reminds me to list, in my head, all of the things that I have to be grateful for, including the skills and talents I have. Try it… it works.

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.” – Helen Keller

5. Learn Something New Every Day

We cannot become stagnant, it makes us less interesting to others and narrows our horizons. The most prominent successful people state that you have to set aside time for self-improvement every single day.

What do you do for self-improvement? You learn something new. It may be about another successful person or a great new business idea; it may be a new skill you pick up from a class; it may be time spent reflecting on yourself and gaining more insight into how you can get better at what you do.

Give yourself one hour a day for learning – read, think, journal – or any combination of activities.

6. Read Case Studies

Want to get better in your career field? Dig in and do case study research. Whether these are stories of individual successes in your business niche or company successes through new ideas and unique practices, you can gain powerful ideas that you can either emulate or that will stimulate some creative thought within you about actions you can take.

There is no magic formula for success, but successful people do have some things in common. They exude positivity, they have passion and enthusiasm for their work, they have found a good balance between work and life, they continue to learn new things, and they get off autopilot. Implement some of these behaviors and see how it changes your life.

Which one of these are you going to implement starting today? Comment below!

[nchester]

We Don’t Realize How Lucky We Have It.

I’ve been thinking recently about the crisis that is unfolding in my career. I’m likely to be out of a job soon and this very idea is causing me to take for granted what I already have.

I live in a country where there is endless opportunity, no war, hardly any violence, beautiful beaches and really healthy food.

Sometimes we need to take a long hard look at ourselves and realize what we have instead of being lost in thoughts of what we don’t have.

Let’s use my own situation to analyze what I have. I have:

– Some really good storytelling skills – Great insight into social media – Excellent sales skills – A history of successful entrepreneurship – An income generating side business – Some evolving public speaking skills – Phenomenal health

Now think about your own situation. When you think long and hard, what do you have?

  We are actually very lucky.

Yes, you’ve heard it before but I’m going to say it again. The odds of you being born are massively not in your favor. Here’s the fact from my friend Google:

“The probability of you existing at all comes out to 1 in 10 2,685,000”

Just by being born you are already lucky. There’s no need to feel sorry for yourself because you’ve already won.

When you go through a rough time like I am with my career right now, the way you maintain your mindset is realizing how lucky you are.

All of us are already lucky and by remembering that in the tough times, it gives us the energy to stop ourselves from giving it all up and throwing in the towel.

During moments of chaos, you must remember how lucky you already are.

  Someone may not see your talent but that doesn’t mean you’re not lucky.

That’s what I am telling myself today. People in my career right now are not seeing my real talent but that doesn’t mean I don’t have any or that I’m not lucky to be alive.

Sometimes the reality is the opposite of what you think. Sometimes the fact someone can’t see your talent has more to do with their weaknesses. Maybe that person who doesn’t believe in you is just very average and hasn’t developed any greatness of their own (yet).

  Rejection often has nothing to do with you at all.

That’s why right now I’m not personally having a bar of it. I encourage you to say the following lines to yourself:

“I can be extraordinary regardless of outside opinions.” “I will not let rejection blind me from my true talents.” “Everything happens for a reason and this moment will appear lucky later on.”

  The concept of luck.

My idea of luck is pretty extreme. I believe that the more good you do and the more you help others, the luckier you get. Becoming lucky has nothing to do with luck at all.

You can generate perceived luck by following this formula.

You can’t even start though unless you begin to see you’re lucky first.

“That’s because scarcity blinds you from the abundance that each of us has access to”

  Put things into perspective.

Things could be tough right now but they could be even worse. That very idea should cheer you up right now.

There are highs and lows in our career and unless you can embrace both sides of this reality, you’ll get lost in a negative reality that forces you to think you’re not already lucky.

I’m guilty of that too – especially today.

What we must remember is so cliché: we have air in our lungs and are alive. This means we are already luckier than most things that exist in the universe.

Focus on how you can get to where you want to go rather than being lost in what you’re lacking. By doing this, you’ll realize how lucky you have it.

The job loss, divorce, sickness, startup failure – whatever – will serve you so much more when you realize how lucky you are with or without those challenges.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net