wake up! wake up! wake up!

when we least expect it, nature has a funny way of finding our weakest spot. we rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster; but to make yourself feel nothing so not to feel anything? what a waste. our hearts and bodies are given to us only once.

[ncrcissiist]

cathcrtiic :

there was something magical about morgan that could conjure up the most teenage of emotions inside molly. the way his lips said her name, like a prayer, like a spell, had her stomach tying itself in knots. butterflies could have burst through her chest at any moment. don’t ruin this don’t ruin this don’t ruin this. her internal monologue was desperately trying to stop her from doing the thing that she always did, the thing she had done so many times before that had lead to morgan leaving. she watched his hand place the remote down oh so carefully. even if she’d wanted to, she wouldn’t have been able to move. everything in her wanted to be right here. the only option was to get even closer. nothing else would do. “you know what happens when you look at me like…” she said quietly, feeling her skin prickle and goosebump as a hush fell over the room now that her endless ramblings had been cut short. she shifted, ever so slightly, so that her hand which had held the remote now braced her weight against the back of the sofa. the air was thick with the things that they weren’t saying. molly didn’t need him to say it, she knew with the same certainty that she had of her own name. morgan had loved her since year nine french and even with three years to think about it, she didn’t know what on earth to do with all of the love he had to give her. what did people do with love? collect it and hold it inside of them? let it warm the insides of their ribcage? her teeth pressed down on her bottom lip, pulling it in and releasing it slowly as her mind slowed, as the world ceased to exist besides him. the only thing that mattered was this man in front of her. “promise me we won’t fuck it up. promise.” she leaned in ever so slightly, her hair falling forward and her forehead touching his ever so gently. “you can’t let me be stupid and ruin it.” a quiet plea. 

his blood ran warmer when she met his gaze. how was he supposed to look at her any other way? it had been such a long time since he allowed himself to, and in truth, the apparent power he had over her emboldened him. as molly’s forehead fell against his own, morgan’s hand slipped to the back of her neck, taking hold of her hair at its roots. he could have moaned aloud at the way her teeth grazed her lower lip. finally, he felt the love from molly in return. it didn’t need to be spoken, not yet, at least. this was far from the first time they’d fond themselves in this spot, but the feeling between them was entirely unique. if they surrendered to this almighty force that pulled them together, morgan knew he’d be putting not just his heart, but his life in her hands. he wouldn’t survive another heartbreak. he couldn’t stop her from doing anything, nor could he force her to, but if there was one thing he knew for certain, it was this: molly castle was always worth one more chance. “is this what you want?”

[ncrcissiist]

cathcrtiic :

the beer was the kind of cold that made your fingers tingle. molly was only able to take a few sips before she put the bottle down, rubbing her fingertips on her leg to get rid of the cold feeling. her eyes didn’t leave his face for more than a couple of moments at a time, constantly roaming over the familiar landscape of his cheekbones. “i’ve got no idea about how to decorate a house. all i’ve ever known in seventies carpet and slightly peeling wallpaper.” her da firmly refused any offers of financial aid to redecorate the pub. it’s got character! he would insist. character aplenty… molly rested her head back against morgan’s arm, looking up into his eyes with a knowing expression. “i’m definitely right.” she reached up for his dangling hand and linked their fingers together, bringing his arm around her more. “you’re already eyeing up the left side of the hotel bed, working out where you’ll plug your phone in. i know you.” she squeezed his fingers, thought about brushing her lips over his knuckles but resisted. “do you want to watch a film? i feel like today’s been the kind of day that deserves it.” she didn’t know if she could be trusted not to just crawl all over him if they kept up their quiet, close chatting like this. maybe a film would calm the quiet vibration inside of her bones. she pushed herself up on to her knees and leaned across morgan for the television remote on the table beside him. mistake. now she was just closer. for a moment, she was caught, words stuck in her mouth as she tried to remember what she’d been about to say. “or….. we could catch up on love island? have you been watching it?” 

morgan had forgotten how it felt to be entirely fixated on a person. his life had become hazy recently - sometimes he could actually see some kind of fog in his peripheral vision. he hadn’t been present or even bothered by anything anybody said or did to him. and now here he was, aware. aware of the sound of molly’s fingertips rubbing against her jeans. of her flyaway hairs the tickled his forearm as she leaned back. of her vision darting from one part of his face to another. molly was everything, everywhere. had she caught onto the the way he stared at her lips as she spoke? was she as aware as him? was this... flirting? “my side is the left, molly. always has been.” were he not so entirely filled with anxiety and fear of ruining what was between them, morgan would be certain this was flirting. “no films. i don’t want you to fall asleep on me, it’s only just gone seven.” i want to be awake all night and talk and talk and talk. molly was closer than before, if that was even possible. morgan knew he needed to say something that wasn’t about movies or home decorations or love island. he was still in love with her. he was so in love, his insides were ready to burst if he held it in much longer. he reached out his hand and took the remote from her, placing it on the table next to his phone. “molly.”

[ncrcissiist]

cathcrtiic :

so, so much. somewhere inside her bones hummed with happiness. the sound of it escaped in a pleased pitch for a moment as she curled herself up to morgan all the more. it was such a simple thing, to be physically close and comfortable. there were so few people in molly’s life that she truly trusted and none so much as morgan. there was no one else she would allow herself to be physically vulnerable around, no one else for whom she would let down her guard. “a lounge? now you’re pushing it,” she teased, shifting slightly as a knock came at the door. she unfolded herself from the sofa, squeezing morgan’s hand briefly as she moved. “what’s wrong with sharing a lounge? do you want somewhere to watch porn in peace? on a big, shiny tv?” she laughed and headed to the door, accepting the drinks and coming back in a matter of seconds. “they even included a bottle opener!” she deposited the drinks down and moved around to shut the curtains of the room and turn off some of the brighter lights. “what colours do you want them decorated?” she asked as she opened drinks and sat back down. her legs curled up over his, placing her almost in his lap. it was impossible not to touch him in every possible way. “i’ll do you some manly boudoir complete with endless cushions.” she grinned and clinked their bottles together. “not that you’d ever sleep in it anyway.” she sipped on her beer, taking the moment to reign herself back in. he just broke up with sadie. her mind argued. weeks ago. being a good person was hard. 

the knock at the door felt like an interruption. now she had to get up and leave him. this felt like too much of a loss, even for the thirty seconds she’d be gone. morgan squeezed back before her hand slipped out of his. “yeah, that’s why i want it. just absolutely stinking porn in the background at all times, please,” he joked, perhaps a little too loudly considering the door was now opened and they were briefly joined by hotel staff. when she returned, he gladly accepted a bottle of beer, a look of content splashed over his face with the first sip as molly finally settled next to him once again. “cheers.” clink. “hm, surprise me,” he told her, as if she’d let him have any say in decoration. morgan was very much an enabler when it came to making molly happy with details. not that you’d ever sleep in it anyway. they both knew he wouldn’t. no matter what form their relationship took, the idea of being in the same building as one another yet isolated at opposite ends was one he imagined destroyed her as much as it did him. morgan’s arm stretched along the back of the sofa, inadvertently brushing against the back of molly’s neck as it settled. “you’re probably right, though.”

[ncrcissiist]

cathcrtiic :

not pulling her arm away, molly instead guided morgan’s arm to settle over her shoulders as she followed through on his order requests on her phone screen. “a wine hangover is definitely not something either of us need,” she agreed, setting her phone aside once the order was complete. her head fell naturally into the hollow of morgan’s shoulder, a soft sigh leaving her. “isn’t it mad that it’s been literally years and yet we’re back in pretty much the exact same place we’ve always been?” she tilted her chin back slightly so that she could look up and meet his eye. “getting pissed in a hotel room when the whole world exists outside that we could get pissed in instead.” there was an unspoken truth under her words: the outside world didn’t matter. the whole world was right there within these four walls. “missed you, morg.” she said quietly, letting the moment hang for the barest of seconds then forcing herself to break it. he’d just admitted to attending therapy ( partially caused by her ) and a break up ( definitely caused by her ) so now was hardly the time for adding more feelings to the mix. “are you going to come and stay at my fancy house all of the time?” she asked, purposefully changing the subject. “you can have your own wing. you can have a fancy waterfall shower like in that hotel we stayed at in paris.” 

the problem with being molly castle’s best friend was as prevalent in that moment as it had been since they were eleven and twelve years old: molly had no concept of personal space. over the years, it had varied from an annoyance to the cause of an awkward teenage physical reaction, to utter temptation, or sometimes, the greatest feeling in the world. today, it lay somewhere between the latter. he allowed himself to tidy a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear, but no more. he couldn’t push it, not unless he was sure. “some things never change, do they?” he smiled fondly, glancing out the window to the sight of an outside world that didn’t matter an ounce. he sensed her voice change just for a moment as tenderness crept in. “i missed you too, mol. so, so much.” for a millisecond, he thought to kiss her. but as quickly as the thought appeared, molly leaped ahead in conversation. “oh, all the time,” he told her. permanently, if he had it his way. “i expect my own bedroom, bathroom, and possibly a lounge. that alright with you?”

[ncrcissiist]

cathcrtiic :

molly wrapped herself around him, pressing her face down into the comforting softness of his hair and squeezing him tightly. shifting slightly on the sofa, molly shuffled closer to morgan until you couldn’t have fit a breath between them. “you bloody idiot. you know i’d have been on the first flight,” she murmured before pressing a warm kiss against the side of his head. she peppered her affection over his head as her hands rubbed his back in slow circles, giving all of the comfort that she had to give. “you must’ve worked hard to keep it from da. he’d have told me in an instant otherwise.” she pulled back a little to look at morgan’s face, moving one hand to stroke gently up through his hair. “we need more wine. and some sort of snack.” she held his face between her hands and pressed a long kiss to his forehead with a deliberately exaggerated sound at the end before shuffling around slightly so that the pair were instead sat close together on the sofa in a slightly more conventional set up. “drink,” she ordered, handing him his glass before picking up her own and downing what remained in it. “is it awful to say that i’m glad i no longer have to feel guilty? i’ve been worrying this whole time that being here with me might piss sadie off, or i was crossing some boundary or something.” she knew full well in her heart of hearts that any girlfriend was right to be pissed off with morgan for hanging out with molly castle. “what shall we get? some chips? chocolate? something awful and fattening. we can regret it tomorrow.” she nestled herself up against morgan’s side and opened the hotel’s app. “whatever you want. you can have anything.”

“she wouldn’t say it, but i know she’s pissed off. she’s been so understanding about everything, but i can just tell how much it’s hurting her. it’s the shittest part of all of this, bless her.” morgan didn’t have to tell sadie the reasons behind his decisions; she already knew. morgan suspected she knew long before he did himself. did that make him cruel or foolish? both, perhaps. as molly’s lips pressed against his forehead, he held on to her arm. she was about to change pace, and maybe it was what they needed. perhaps it was what she wanted, to keep them firmly grounded as best friends. it wasn’t a boundary he’d push again now that he had the clarity he needed to see that a life without molly in it wasn’t worth living, no matter what role she played. by now, his heart had surrendered itself to her once again (who was he kidding, it had always been hers) -  but he couldn’t force it upon her. he followed her lead. best friends. “go on then. can we get some beers in, actually? i’m not emotionally prepared for a wine hangover tomorrow."

[ncrcissiist]

cathcrtiic :

molly should have expected the way words spilled from morgan, becoming a river that washed over the pair of them. there was a lot to sort through, to digest, but she didn’t quite know where to begin. he wasn’t with sadie any more. that was the first thing to take on board. morgan was single. unattached. here. before there was the chance to fully take that on, the words kept coming. “it doesn’t sound awful. it makes sense,” she reassured him, putting her glass down and sitting up slightly more. she pulled her feet away from him, shifting so that she was sat up on her knees and closer to his level. “i get it. you’ve always been the one who wanted security,” she said, reaching out and running her hand over his hair as a comfort. “maybe not the best way to have gone about it but plenty of people do it. people settle every day.” and she, molly castle, did the opposite. she did everything possible to avoid settling down into anything comfortable and familiar. except right now, when all she wanted was to fall back into morgan and the way he felt like home. she tried to be nonchalant, shrugging slightly. “i understand why you didn’t. it’s a bit of a big thing to announce over text or on a street in holland park.” she ran her hand over his hair again. “do you want a hug? seems like this might be the moment for one.” for now, his emotions were the most important part of the confessions that had spilled. she would pick up the threads of what this meant for her, for them, later. 

morgan was grateful that molly had learned to keep up with his rambling over the years. she had always been collected when he needed her to be. he wished he could say the same for himself, but he knew he’d let her down in more recent years. instantly, she had taken on her best friend role with pride - the implications and undertones of what this might mean for them didn’t matter yet, though he couldn’t stop himself wondering how she felt about this on initial reaction. to her offer, he simply nodded, feeling more than vulnerable as he leaned into her arms and wrapping his own tightly around her. it felt good to rely on molly again. he had trained himself out of the habit for three long years, all the while knowing it was her embrace (and only hers) that would lift the weight of his chest. what a waste of time to deny himself of his only cure. “poor mam’s had an absolute earful over the last month, bless her. i couldn’t really talk to anyone else. not properly, anyway.” the full extent of the truth was reserved for molly castle, when he was finally brave enough to share it.

[ncrcissiist]

cathcrtiic :

“you doing the admin is the only way it’d ever work. no one else understands the way my brain works as well as you do.” there was something to be said for working so closely with your best friend and molly had missed it dearly in the last couple of years. so often she’d been sat in vision meetings, gesturing and framing and never quite getting it across. morgan had always understood what she wanted before it even had a chance to come out of her mouth. if he’d actually do it, she’d set up a label with him in an instant. her expression changed in to one of horror at the news from home - “not the cafe!” so many hungovers had been cured in that cafe, away from the prying eyes of their parents. not that it remained a secret that they’d been there - nothing was a secret back home. the only thing that the pair had ever managed to keep under wraps was their regular sleeping together and that was only a secret through some sort of miracle. molly sipped on her glass, holding it in her lap in between. “yeah?” she rested her head against the sofa, the side of her face cushioned by the velvet. “like what?” she nudged him a little with her foot. 

with one more gulp for confidence, morgan set his wine down on the table next to him. “well, obviously i told you about the therapy and that, so that’s part of it. but i suppose that... well, most significantly, i guess is that sadie and i broke up a couple of weeks ago.” his bottom lip retracted under his teeth. morgan had a habit of unloading when he had something to admit. he rambled and waffled, but it just needed to come out. “and it’s a shame because she was absolutely lovely and she put up with so much. and her daughter, seren, is the most special little girl and i absolutely adore her. but i was just... well, i was lying to myself, and i was miserable, and i couldn’t figure out why - hence the therapy. i realised i was settling. before i went home for good, i wasn’t happy. i couldn’t keep up mentally with how quickly we were moving up the ladder, and i obviously don’t need to tell you where you came into it all, but i knew that something needed to change. so i convinced myself that settling down was the answer... didn’t matter who with. but there sadie was. christ, it sounds awful when i say it out loud, doesn’t it?” morgan’s continuous speech was book-ended by a heavy sigh. “i should have told you earlier. i know that.”

[ncrcissiist]

cathcrtiic :

“cheers!” molly tucked her feet under morgan’s legs, a position comfortable and familiar as a pair of old shoes. her da’s sofa had imprints of the pair of them on, sat in this exact position. at morgan’s deflection molly rolled her eyes and drank more of her wine. already that lovely heady feeling was beginning to hum inside of her again. “i feel like a right dickhead going on about me,” she admitted between sips. wine went down so easily. “you’ve seen most stuff that’s happened of consequence anyway. albums and tours and shit like that. none of it changes.” she’d deliberately not had any big life events for the last couple of years besides any music that she’d produced. molly castle steered clear of romantic entanglements, commitments, semi permanent hair colours, you name it. she’d been dragged through the mud enough times by break ups - and had her heart wounded by her own stupidity - that she’d not wanted to go anywhere near it. “house hunting has been the most different and off-brand thing i’ve done recently. i’ve kept my nose squeaky clean.” she finished the rest of her glass and set it down. “i was offered a label switch last year that i turned down. i briefly dabbled with the idea of setting up my own label. it’s an insane amount of work though and i don’t know if i’m actually mature of sensible enough for that shit.” she reached over and filled her glass again, a little more full this time. “tell me about home then. make me homesick and wanna move back. more than i already do.” 

morgan knew that molly didn’t like talking about herself. it’s why she never liked interviews - the self indulgence of it all wasn’t much to her taste. but for morgan, listening to her was his indulgence. the most mundane of stories sounded twenty times better spoken in her voice, and he was here for every word. “i think you’d be wicked with your own label, y’know,” he offered. “people look up to you. i can do the admin,” he grinned. a passing suggestion without much substance, but if he really thought about it? not a bad idea at all. “home is exactly as you’d imagine. the doctors has had a tarting up. the prince has new owners, nowhere near as good as the last. oh, and mr and mrs evans are retiring next month, so you’d best come home quick for one last cosy cafe breakfast.” admittedly, morgan knew that when she asked about home, she could have done without the mundanities but the words that needed to be spoken were stuck stubbornly in the back of his throat. yet with her feet routinely tucked under his legs and his arm resting over her knees, the elephant in the room was becoming harder to ignore. come out and say it, morgan. “actually... a lot’s changed for me recently as well.”

[ncrcissiist]

cathcrtiic :

molly rolled onto her side, propping her head up on her hand and watching morgan. “we get to see all of the edit and stuff before it goes out,” she reassured him, about to roll on to her front when there was a knock at the door. “one sec!” for a moment, her call to the hotel staff sounded exactly like the shout of seventeen year old molly castle, calling down to her da in the kitchen. she wriggled off of the bed, ruining the neat duvet in the process, and opened the door. “thank you!” she returned with arms full of bedding and both hands clutching a wine bottle. “grab us some glasses, morg,” she told him as she dumped the bedding down on the sofa for now then set the wine bottles down on the table. “it’ll be just like old times,” she grinned, opening a bottle and pouring them half a glass each. “except y’know, with a camera crew…. and pressure… but mostly just us two being a pair of tits and roaming around crick like when we were kids.” she sipped on her wine and made a sound of approval before setting it down. “anyway. all we’ve done is talk about me. let’s shelf me for now.” she curled herself up on the sofa and gestured for him to sit down. “i’ve missed you. tell me about you.”

“i dunno. we’ll see.” it didn’t take long for his anxiety to be alleviated as molly scrambled off the bed to the door. she still had that silly, juvenile spark behind closed doors that reminded him why she’d always felt like home. “muppet,” he laughed to himself, grabbing two wine glasses from a cabinet to fancy to be trusted in their company. as she poured the wine, morgan fixated on the spot on the sofa next to her. it had his name on it - what was he doing standing around awkwardly anyway? this was molly castle. he kicked off his shoes and took his spot, accepting his glass and tapping it against hers. “cheers to old times, then.” and there was the line he’d been dreading. morgan didn’t want to tell her about him. if he could, he’d have her narrate every second of every day he’d missed over the last three years and not utter a word about his own (except, perhaps, one or two major details). if he told her the truth, the mood would free fall. he hadn’t been good, not really. he’d tell her everything eventually - where where was he to start? “come on, already? i was just strapping in for a presentation of molly castle: the last three years. i assure you it’s more interesting than me, love.”

[ncrcissiist]

cathcrtiic :

“i like privacy,” she said with a shrug. expensive rooms and big bills meant she was left alone and molly appreciated that. besides, with nowhere to actually call home, she liked a hotel that had a little soul. her phone was set back down on the table as the room service order was completed, followed by molly standing up and crossing to the window to draw the curtains. “the bbc. channel four wanted it but i didn’t trust them to do it without a weird angle or undertone y’know?” she sat on the edge of the bed and crossed her legs. her hands found her feet, thumbs rubbing the insteps to ease the ache of wearing heels all day. “we spent months kind of outlining the parameters of it all. like i didn’t want them digging in to ma too much or rummaging about in da’s life. it’s kind of focused on my school years, teen years, that kind of stuff.” she flopped back on the bed and spread her arms over her head with a comfortable sigh. “do you need more wine before i ask you how much you want to be in it?” her face turned towards him. “i can’t lie about it. you’re a pretty humungous chunk of my life. it’ll be hard to not include you.” 

“oh wow, the beeb,” he repeated, almost relieved it wasn’t somebody like mtv. less gossip, more reality, perhaps. “so you’ll be going back to school and everything then? they’re gonna eat that up, i’ll bet.” morgan seemed to trail around the room behind molly, never really getting too close. as she settled on the bed, he leaned against the wall beside it. he felt his colour fade at her question. “definitely more wine,” he joked. morgan had been out any major attention from the media for at least a year of his hiatus. foolishly, he had grown used to that luxury. but with even the slightest possibility of having molly back in his life (at least in that way), he knew in his heart he’d be willing to give it up again. “of course i’ll be in it. i can’t lie either though, the idea makes me incredibly nervous. i’m right out of practise, mol.”

[ncrcissiist]

cathcrtiic :

“i’ll tell da about it and he can let it spread around the pub. it’ll be gossip in no time,” molly agreed, squeezing her hand around morgan’s arm for a brief moment before exiting the lift and heading to her door. it was open a moment later and the lights came on gently as they stepped inside. molly shrank three inches as she took off her shoes and left them in the entryway. “red sounds good. we can order it with a side of paracetamol for the headache from hell tomorrow morning,” she laughed, shedding her coat next and then her jumper. the room was warm compared to the cold outside. next, her hair was tied up into a haphazard bun on her head and she collapsed down onto the sofa, picking the room service menu up. “do we want anything else? i’ll ask for extra pillows and stuff for you as well so that you can kip on the sofa if you want.” she looked up at him with an unspoken question. they’d always shared, since they were children, but she didn’t want to put him in a compromising position now - any more than she might have done already. “obviously i don’t mind sharing, but i don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything.” she got out her phone, opened a newly installed app and began room service ordering as she waited on his response. 

the lightning speed in which she transformed from outside-molly to inside-molly never failed to amaze him. just like that, she was three inches shorter, back where she belonged in his line of sight. morgan kept it simple, shrugging off his coat and dressing the back of a chair with it as he peered around the room (or should he say, suite). “christ, you’ve done alright here haven’t you?” he teased, venturing deeper into the space. it was a world away from his life now. morgan hadn’t expected to be sharing a bed with molly. that said, he wasn’t expecting the dropping sensation in his gut as she set the scene for his place on the sofa. it was a perfectly reasonable suggestion, all things considered, so why did it sting? you know why, he thought. “oh, yeah, two will be fine,” he said in response, reminding his face to smile with normalcy. we’ll see how it goes, he wanted to say. “so who’s making the documentary then?” he asked, feeling the need in the room for a change of topic.

[ncrcissiist]

cathcrtiic :

“hm? i guess-” molly fished her phone out and looked at the screen, then promptly dropped it back in. “it’s fine. it’s nothing important.” at that moment, only either of their parents would have resulted in her actually answering the call. molly’s mind was so full of morgan that she didn’t want to think about anyone else. she looped her arm through his and lead them through the hotel reception without a backwards glance, confidence in every step. she’d learned a couple of years ago the importance of walking like you didn’t give a fuck. only once in the lift to go up to her suite did she talk again. “our little town is going to be crawling. i feel kinda bad, actually. i don’t know how to balance like…. a genuine insight into where we grew up versus protecting the fact it’s other people’s home. i’m worried people will be pissed off with me.” she rested her head on his shoulder. “we should get more wine delivered to the room. one bottle between us was nothing.” and she didn’t want the edge of guilt that would come gnawing if they got sober. 

“no?” he asked one more time. it felt selfish of him to want molly all to himself in this short time they had together. selfish, yes, but it didn’t stop it being true. as he had three years before, morgan held his breath between the car and the hotel lobby, marching with molly on his arm past a small group of paparazzi who had gathered at the gate. and breathe. he understood molly’s worries - he too was exceptionally protective of their little corner of the world. “i think it’s best to put the feelers out. you know there’ll be people who will bite your hand off to be involved, but then it’s not for everyone, like. still, i do think it’ll be amazing.” dare he ask how much she wanted of him in the piece? he wasn’t sure he even wanted to know at this stage. where was that wine? “yes, definitely more wine,” he laughed. how many times had he found himself in a spot where liquid confidence was needed to start a conversation with molly? it was an odd mindset to return to. “shall we order a nice red? i bet they’ve got some good ones here haven’t they?”

[ncrcissiist]

cathcrtiic :

her phone rang again. she ignored it once more. molly’s foot nudged her bag slightly more under the driver’s seat. “we should get room service and get more drinks,” she declared, the soft flush of wine in her cheeks hinting at her giddiness. their school memories brought a fond smile to her lips and she rested her head back against the seat with a contented sigh. “that’s what i’m coming home to look at soon y’know,” she said, her previously kept secret slipping easily from loose lips. “they’re making a documentary of where i grew up. a kind of rags to riches sort of thing. i don’t know what they’re expecting to find at home except sheep and da’s thirty year old carpet in the pub.” the uber slowed down to a stop as molly’s phone rang for a third time. “oh fuck off-” she swore, fishing her phone out and cancelling the call. she didn’t want to go to flash london parties tonight. she wanted to spend as much time with morgan as she could. “c’mon!” she held her hand out to him as waited for him to get out of the car, ignoring everyone around them. “i promise i won’t get you in trouble.” famous last words. 

morgan heard molly’s phone vibrating through her bag for a second time. no surprise - she was a woman in demand. he didn’t mention it, though. perhaps she was ignoring it for a reason. instead, his attention snapped back to her as she told him of the plans of a documentary. “oh mol, that’s amazing! you’d best warn your dad of the extra foot traffic when that one comes out then,” he said. no doubt her fans would flock to the area, as fans did these days. morgan could already foresee the invitation to be involved. he’d been in the background for so many of molly’s leaps through her career and the press had never shied away from that. already, he felt an anxiety brewing which was punctuated by the return of the ringing of molly’s phone as they pulled up to the hotel. he looked at her cautiously. “do you maybe want to get that? i don’t mind, honest.” still, he let himself be dragged in her direction, careful to detach their hands as they left the back seat. 

[sarahnesthetic]

Taron Egerton kissing Rami Malek’s head and then Rami Malek grinning like the Cheshire Cat BLESS

[ncrcissiist]

cathcrtiic :

the closing of the door and clicking of seatbelts was enough for the taxi driver to lead them off. she shrugged at his answers in response to sadie, finding no fault in them. “okay,” was all the reply needed before she followed on to his question. “i’ve got a suite at the baglioni. it was close to where the house viewings were.” somewhere in her coat pocket, her phone rang. she ignored it. they could wait. “y’know the best thing about l.a? i almost never got recognised. without all of the pomp around, i just looked like some basic blonde woman and everyone ignored me.” she rested her head back against the seat, her hand resting on the middle spot. the wine was swimming a little around her head. “i miss the days where we used to just fuck about in london and barely anyone knew anything about us so it didn’t matter. our teachers must suck eggs at how successful we’ve been after we were such shits in class.”  though admittedly, molly had always been the bad influence.

“bloody ‘ell, alright then!” morgan scoffed. his life had been considerably less glamorous for the past three years. he’d lived more of a premier inn lifestyle than baglioni. he’d never gotten used to the luxury while he was still in the band, let alone after jumping back into molly’s radar like this. glad of the change of topic, he pondered her words - morgan had never warmed to l.a. but she was right - it had it’s advantages. “yeah, i suppose you’re right. everyone’s so wrapped up in their own thing there nobody really gives a shit who they pass in the street, do they?” it had been rough trying to keep anonymity over the years, and molly had simply continued to grow ever since. what were the chances of the two of them avoiding any kind of media attention on this fly-by catch-up? non-existent.  still, he smiled at the memory of their years at school, the exhausted sigh of every last teacher kind (and stupid) enough to let them sit together. “it’s just all a bit mental, isn’t it? who’d have bloody thought?”

[ncrcissiist]

me: im gonna be online so much when ive moved home and its winter and im settled with nothing to do

me, having moved home, in winter, settled with nothing to do: is not online

[midsommars-deactivated20201109]