nct fic recs

collection of fave nct fanfics / recommended nct fics / main: kingfullsun

[nctlabel]

𝙣𝙘𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙨

April 9, 2020: Quarantine Day 20+ – I made my comeback into the world of NCT fanfiction and decided to make a list of fics I really like. 

UPDATED: April 22, 2020 (more members!!!) 

I swear Mark is my ult! But I just found out that I read so much Jaehyun fics. I- Wow, t h e betrayal! 

(+ lots of mature reads… warning) 

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[neoculturetravesty]

Masterlist

Last Updated: July 17, 2022

GUIDE

s - smut

m - mature

f - fluff

a - angst

BY MEMBER:

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[neoculturetravesty]

Rough but soft

Image taken from here.

Pairing: Johnny x Reader Genre: smut, pwp, romance, angst Warnings: 18+, soft dom Johnny, oral (female receiving), protected sex, rough sex, fingering, anus rubbing (female receiving), mild choking, hickeys, lots and lots of angst. Reader wants Johnny to have at her but she also wants so much more. Readers comes with lots of self-doubt, baggage and insecurities. Word Count: 8.2k+ words of straight up filth and angst aka my fav combo

Summary: You’re so tired of trying to find a man who would understand the deep complexities of what you need, sleeping with him, being utterly unsatisfied and then spending the next few weeks avoiding him because you were too ashamed. You were tired of baring your soul, your body, the inner workings of your mind to yet another man who couldn’t satisfy you. So when you meet Johnny Suh, you know right away that he would be the man that makes all your wet dreams come true. But you shouldn’t want him. He’s an idol, and you work for him. You have no right to want him, to lust after him… and you definitely have no right to catch feelings for him.

A/N: This one is for all my Johnny stans! I didn’t plan for this one-shot to get so long but ugh, once I started writing, all my demons were unleashed. Hope you like it! 

You could’ve sworn your apartment was the hottest it had ever been. You didn’t remember messing with the thermostat or closing any windows. You weren’t exactly dressed warmly, either. You were just in your underwear with a pretty spaghetti sleeved top on. Perhaps the heat had more to do with the fact that you were sat on the lap of a man you really liked or the fact that the two of you had been furiously making out for the past ten minutes. 

Johnny’s hands were all over you. They were in your hair, pulling you towards him, angling your head every which way to get more purchase with his tongue. Then his hands were on the small of your back pushing up into your top to feel your bare skin. And when his hands had enough of the skin there, they were up and down the curve of your legs that were curled up into him as you sat side saddle. While your pants laid discarded on the floor, his clothes were still fully on but you supposed there was some use for that by how strongly you were clutching onto the lapel of his jacket. 

Your brain was so fuzzy with the scent of him that you couldn’t even remember what had brought this on. The last thing you remembered was Johnny showing up at your door unannounced, a couple of bottles of soju in hand. Your past few meets had been similarly unplanned, so for convenience’s sake and definitely not anything else, you just went ahead and gave him the code of your apartment. Yes, it was way too early on in the relationship–if you could even call it that, whatever the two of you were doing. You could sense that he was taken aback by it. Whether he was moved by it, or whether to be polite, he had pulled you into him and kissed you.

Now the soju laid abandoned on the table as you drank one another in. He kissed you deeply now, as you sat on him on the couch, like he had been thirsty for days and your tongue quenched him. He was taking the lead in this unrestrained makeout session. But you knew that. He knew that. It’s what you had wanted. It’s what you had asked of him.

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[leexenotarsosaurus]

xeno’s fic recs!!

notes: mostly jeno and some jaehyun SORRY!! summary, pairing, genre, word count and contains are copied from the authors!!

body electric by haechanblr

summary: you and jaehyun are friends, and you and jaehyun are roommates, and you and jaehyun really, really have the hots for each other.

pairing: jung jaehyun x fem!reader.

genre: smut; roommates!au.

word count: 3.7k (3741)

contains: mutual masturbation, voyeurism, dirty talk, use of the pet name “kitten”, mentions of oral sex (m!receiving), both of them are sooooo far gone for each other.

time out: the prequel by tenderlyrenjun

summary: here it is, the beginning - not of your rivalry but of your fucking relationship (pun intended)

pairing: hockey co-captain/architecture major!jeno x figure skater/bio major!reader

genre: enemies to lovers, fluff/angst/suggestive

word count: 11,6k

contains: excessive use of commas, yelling (?), slight rich kid au, car sex/safe sex (!): dick sucking, fingering, little bit of a praise kink, and penetration; it’s kind of a soft fic, like tender; I will BLOCK YOU if you reblog without comments

After Hours by newdecades

summary: (author’s note) this has no plot really,,,just jeno sneaking into y/n’s dorm room at night. this is an impulse write inspired by jeno’s 3am relay cam and only took less than a day for me to complete it! please let me know if you enjoyed it, thank you <3

pairing: jeno x female! reader

genre: college! au, established relationship, smut, fluff

word count: 2.3k

contains: unprotected sex, switch jeno, handjob, making out, nipple play, some little aftercare

69 Places to Have Sex by 127cloud

summary: He was about to dive back in for your mouth, but you successfully held his jaw so he couldn’t move in any further, leaving your lips only inches apart. “Your sister’s down the hall.” You whispered against his mouth. “Behave.” He groaned in disapproval of you trying to reject him before speaking again, “She’s not gonna come in here.”

pairing: jeno x f!reader

genre: smut….. self-indulgent filth if you will

word count: 3.5k

contains: explicit smut, a couple with a very spontaneous sex life and a boyfriend with a bucket list of places to have sex, dom!jeno, inexperenced!reader, fingering, squirting, unprotected sex, overstimulation, slight mutual masturbation, rough sex, hair pulling, spit kink, oral sex (f receiving), spanking, non idol!jeno, dirty talk, seduction, manhandling, etablished relationship!au, semi public, parents house kink, daddy kink, slight degradation, exhibitionist!jeno, explicit language, bucket list sex places!au, just pure filth.

til the end by theje0ngs

summary: because it was you, jaehyun, dasom and other future kids you will have, ‘til the end. 

pairing: jaehyun x fem reader

genre: slight angst, fluff, marriage!au, non-idol!au

word count: 2.9k

contains: profanity, mentions pregnancy, mentions blood & other body fluids (EEECKKK), mentions child birth 

First kiss by  iheartjaehyun

summary: – pairing: jaehyun x fem reader(?) genre:  semi smut (?)

word count:  392

contains:  some dirty talk

quarantine chronicles; by  domjaehyun

summary: fourteen days, five roommates, and five remarkably high sex drives. what could go wrong? pairing: jaehyun, johnny, jungwoo, and jaemin (feat. mark lee) x fem!reader genre:  smut & loads of sexual tension word count: 28.5k

contains: –

Morning After by  writemekpop summary: Waking up next to naked Jaehyun is your new favourite thing. His surprising confession makes it even better. pairing: Jung Jaehyun x Reader genre: – word count: 0.6k

contains: –

LET’S DO IT AGAIN by  jeontaeil

summary: gamer!jeno x fem!reader pairing: gamer!jeno x fem!reader genre:  smut, fingering, blowjob, rough, unprotected sex. word count: 1.2k+

contains: 18+ content, read at your own discretion.

onlyforus by  loviejaehyun summary: – pairing: jeno x reader genre: more smut, friends to lovers, camgirl!reader, fluff word count: 3k contains: 00′ line smut, swearing, fingers, oral (male and female receiving), unprotected sex (use protection!!!), sex on camera (with consent), spanking if you squint, choking, overstimulation

forever is the sweetest con by  winestainedress-universe

summary: After the storm always comes the rainbow. And finally, after eight months, Jaehyun and Scarlett can live their life with fewer fears creeping in their bones and with the consciousness that nothing and nobody can take their little paradise away from them. So they decided to take some days off to make up for all the wasted time, filling their hearts with sweet and cherished moments with each other and Eunbi, that somehow always know how to surprise them. pairing: jeong jaehyun x OC | (side characters, suh johnny, kim doyoung, nakamoto yuta, lee mark, lee taeyong, | mentioned: qian kun and lee donghyuck) genre: domestic fluff, smut, established relationship, parent!au, humour (if you squint), slice of life word count: 21.530 contains: smut, fingering, squirting, oral sex (f and m receiving), multiple orgasms, brief tied up sex, unprotected sex (she’s on the pill this time, though), morning sex, food play (nothing messy, just chocolate and a strawberry), sensory deprivation, that should be all

Bet by  neocain

summary: – pairing: Jeno x Reader genre: Smut [handcuffs (jeno), teasing, jeno kinda sub? Oral (m reciving) kinda cockwarming? masturbating, finger sucking] word count: 1.1k contains: Mature Content.

LOVE TALK by  markresonates

summary: you get off on the wrong foot with Jaehyun when you first start living together, all the while unaware he’s seen something he shouldn’t have pairing: roommate au!Jaehyun x fem!reader genre: porn w/ plot, lil angst, tiny fluff word count: +6.4k contains: rough unprotected sex, throat f&cking, manhandling, masturbation, choking, degradation, hard dom!Jaehyun, sub!reader, and yet another scenario of sexy stuff on camera bc i’m a total slut for that sort of thing

bicycle by markresonates

summary: When Jeno says he wishes he could ride his bicycle more often, you accidentally say something that makes him change his mind about who and what should be ridden right now pairing: college au!Jeno x fem!reader genre: smut, lil fluff word count: 2.3k contains: rough sex, light dubcon themes, throat f&cking, lil embarrassment, spanking, hard dom!Jeno, semi switch!reader

“I would do anything to make it up to you” by  markresonates

summary: – pairing: hendery x reader genre:  smut, angst word count: +650 contains: NSFW

[ncteez]

illicit.

ao3

pairing→  jaehyun x fem reader

wordcount→ 8.074k

description →  jaehyun is your cousin’s new boyfriend accompanying her on a family vacation. No one knows that you hooked up with him the summer before, or that he isn’t as clean cut as he’s pretending to be.

warnings → smut, jealousy, arguments, jaehyun is a dirty cheater and you’re a homewrecker, but also jeahyun realizes that his ex-fuck buddy might mean more to him than he’d thought.

note → I passed my final exam with an A so I am rewarding myself with this. I don’t condone cheating but I do condone jaehyun being desperate so….(I also really like writing cheating fics even tho ive been cheated on and that shit hurted)

not proof read.

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[ncteez]

illicit.

ao3

pairing→  jaehyun x fem reader

wordcount→ 8.074k

description →  jaehyun is your cousin’s new boyfriend accompanying her on a family vacation. No one knows that you hooked up with him the summer before, or that he isn’t as clean cut as he’s pretending to be.

warnings → smut, jealousy, arguments, jaehyun is a dirty cheater and you’re a homewrecker, but also jeahyun realizes that his ex-fuck buddy might mean more to him than he’d thought.

note → I passed my final exam with an A so I am rewarding myself with this. I don’t condone cheating but I do condone jaehyun being desperate so….(I also really like writing cheating fics even tho ive been cheated on and that shit hurted)

not proof read.

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[anashins]

I Still Search for You

Pairing: Jaehyun x You

Genre: idol!Jaehyun, angst, romance, smut

Word Count: a very short one with 1k

Summary: You come to the realization that the Jaehyun you started dating and the Jaehyun you see on stage are not two different people anymore.

“Everything okay?” Jaehyun asks you under his breath.

You nod and pull his face back to yours, the sweaty tips of his bangs tickling your forehead as your lips lock again in a hard kiss that leaves you both winded. His rhythmic thrusts inside of you jar your body to every last fiber, and you try to focus on all the favorable things he makes you feel during this act despite your thoughts always drifting off.

Another hotel room, another short-lived night in the arms of your boyfriend.

You know it’s only a few hours that you can spend with him before you have to sneak out again, and you should better enjoy the very limited time you have together, but today again, you feel especially insecure about your relationship.

Still having him move on top of you, you hug Jaehyun harder against your chest as if to make sure that you’re still present and somehow alive, and he lets out an affirmative groan that breaks through the quietness of rustling sheets and heavy panting, only the dim light of the bedside lamp giving you the possibility to catch a glimpse at his satisfied expression that you cannot relate with.

“...yes,” he whispers into your ear, his fingers curling into yours which he then presses into the pillow. “Almost there.”

Licking you all the way up from the hollow of your chin to your lips, for a moment, you have the feeling to finally be able to let yourself fall and relish this very rare moment. But as soon as you weigh yourself in the safety of his welcoming arms, your mind goes astray again to rather unpleasant thoughts.

Perhaps, it’s because you haven’t seen each other in weeks and wish for a few hours more. Most likely though, it’s because of the smile which he now directs at you. The smile of which you know doesn't differ much from the one he directs at every crowd whenever he stands on stage and that you experience in person less and less.

He is here with you, physically. But you still miss him dearly.

You are far from being on the same page as his body convulses on top of you, and the pain that you feel emotionally nearly turns physical as you aren’t able to share this special moment with him, that is how much it affects you, turning into tears that start flowing the second his body comes down next to you.

“That was amazing.”

Jaehyun wants to pull you into an embrace, sliding his fingers between your thighs already to finish you off himself, and he’s still so into the mood that your disconnection totally passes by him, even when you turn to the other side, brushing off his hand.

It’s not until the tears drop onto the sheets, leaving a dark stain, and with you arising from the bed that he senses something isn’t right with you. And he is quick to react by grabbing you by your wrist, making you stop.

“Hey…” His voice is soft, attentive. “What’s wrong?”

So many things are wrong.

When you had decided to date an idol, Jaehyun enlightened you about everything that was different from dating a normal person. At least, that was what you thought. But experiencing the restrictions that it brings along first hand is still something entirely else.

It’s not necessarily the unpredictable time frame of separation whenever he has a comeback, not the constant game of hide and seek when you go outside, not even the fear of opening up a secret instagram account where he can post about whatever and whoever he wants. Because everything he does, every single one of his steps, is being watched and has consequences.

You understand that.

It’s just that your boyfriend and the idol inside of him have been two different people once. But now, you can only desperately search for the person you love in this idol’s eyes.

The person you love would text you more than a one liner every other day to keep in touch with you. The person you love wouldn’t toss the pictures you have taken together into the abyss of their phone. The person you love wouldn’t call you over for a few hours at night only like an escort girl. The person you love would do everything in their might to show you that you are different from everyone else.

You cannot find this person in Jaehyun.

Not anymore.

You know that your boyfriend is still there somewhere, somehow, but you haven’t seen him in so long already, and you wonder whether he can ever take off this idol’s mask ever again or whether this is the person he has turned into now.

You want to be with your boyfriend, not an idol.

“I want to go.”

You cry silently as you fish for your underwear and slowly dress yourself despite Jaehyun’s protests in the background. He holds your hand, he hugs you, he shakes you, desperate to make you stay, but his voice seems worlds afar, a montone ring only audible in your ears.

On your way out, you hit over a vase, but you cannot care less about it as you are only fixated on collecting your belongings and storming out of the room before his muscular arms will wrap around you again, and you know for sure that this time, you cannot withstand for that long but will fall back into his embrace again once he touches you.

“Please! Stay!”

Jaehyun luckily struggles with his clothes, giving you enough time to open the door and closing it shut behind you a second later. Your shoes in your hand, you run to the elevator, only hearing his room open again before you’re gone from the floor.

At this very moment, you’re relieved. And you’re proud of yourself.

But you also know that, just like all the other times, you will soon find yourself standing in front of his hotel or dorm room again in the middle of the night, giving in to him under the sheets, taking his apology with every thrust.

[anashins]

Friends Don't Make Out When Drunk

Title: Friends Don't Make Out When Drunk

Pairing: Jaehyun x You

Genre: college!au, friends with benefits, friends to lovers, romance, smut, fluff, drama

Warnings: smut, swearing, cheating

Word Count: 8.606

Summary: No strings attached, that was what you have agreed on. But when Jaehyun starts dating another girl, he slowly realizes that he cannot quite distinguish between love and sex.

____

The first time you and Jaehyun kissed was at a party on a warm summer night when you were both staying on a roof garden, overlooking the entire city as the moon shone down brightly at the terrace while soft music was playing inside your friend’s penthouse.

You had both been drunk and tipsy, and clearly, under normal circumstances, this wouldn’t have happened at all, yet for the rest of the night, you and Jaehyun couldn't be parted from each other anymore, kissing until the majority of the guests had left and the sun started to rise.

“Shit, how’d you make me feel like this?” he said, and you smiled at his flushed cheeks that were barely visible at daybreak.

“Shut up, Jung Jaehyun, it’s only a one time thing,” you answered. “I kissed you because we were drunk.”

“Are you trying to turn me on as I love dirty talk?” he returned, and you only laughed.

You knew each other through mutual friends as he was your friend Ten’s new roommate, yet had never really spoken to the other before. So when all your friends had cancelled that night and you thought you were the only one joining the party, you had let out a quiet “thank god!” when at least Jaehyun’s familiar face had appeared.

How you had found yourself on his lap, wildly kissing throughout the night, you also didn’t know. What you had known was that he was an exceptionally good kisser, and a funny guy on top of that, because before all this kissing had begun, you had much fun together at the party as opposed to your expectations.

Believing it was a one time thing, you had parted ways that night only to find yourself in his arms again one week later at Ten’s party.

From then on, you had not only kissed at his roommate’s party again, but several times more - in bars, at gatherings, even when you were only watching a movie together, always hidden from your friends' eyes as you didn’t want to bother yourselves with their curious questions.

And when one night, you had ended up in his bed, moaning quietly under the blanket with his hand covering your mouth to suffocate your sounds while Ten was sleeping at the other side, you started to befriend the thought that this could be a long term thing.

And you were right.

His bed, Ten’s bed, the dorm’s bathroom, the couch, even a quiet corner in the library as well as bathrooms in restaurants or other people’s houses - Jaehyun’s desire was insatiable, and so was yours.

As your sexual encounters increased, so did the level of your friendship that consisted of funny laughters, sharing secrecies and a mutual understanding you had rarely found with other people in your young life so far.

____

“The bed is so small.”

“Will you shut up and start fucking me already?”

“It’s 8 in the morning, are you ever satisfied?”

You rolled your eyes as you sat up and climbed on top of an already naked Jaehyun with only your bra on. Straddling him with your thighs on each side of his waist, you occupied the entire width of his bed - something you had always complained about, but somehow, you had constantly managed to get by nonetheless.

“Yes, just like that,” Jaehyun noted, satisfied as he grabbed you by your hips, allowing you to sink down on his entire length with a bit of guidance.

You shook your head with a smile on your lips and placed your hands on top of his chest as you straightened your back. The tips of your fingers trailed along his skin, tickling him feathery when you started moving your hips in circular motions, gyrating them against his.

Jaehyun chuckled lightly when you propped your hands against his chest to get a steady hold and gently rolled your hips with his pelvis as a physical barrier that stimulated you at the same time. He played with the strands of your hair with one hand, his lips slightly agape in a lustful mien.

What had begun as gentle rocking, you now decided to heat up and lifted yourself from his length just to slam back down on him the next moment until he was fully sheathed in your wetness again.

You threw your head back in satisfaction as you felt him hitting your sweet spots over and over again as you repeated the movement, each time a bit stronger than before - raising your hips and sliding back down. Up and down, up and down.

“Fuck, yes!” Jaehyun cursed under his breath, allowing himself to be the lazy one this time and to just receive instead of giving as well.

What still bothered him was your bra though as he witnessed how sweat collected in your cleavage, rolling down your skin and just ending where the fabric began. He just wanted to grab you and play with your boobs, so he sat up mid-motion and kept you still while he pulled the light clothing over your head and tossed it on the ground.

“Much better.”

He gave you a quick kiss on your lips and sunk back onto the mattress, feeling the steady rhythm on top of him starting once again. With his hands, Jaehyun wandered to your chest, feeling your breasts fully in his palms, bouncing up and down in front of his vision.

Jaehyun felt you clenching and unclenching around his member, grinding forward and backward to stimulate yourself as well while your hands were caressing his chest down to his waist and back. He felt himself holding in his breathing every time you came down with your hips, taking his last air.

Each time your bodies collided, you let out a moan, and when you fell limply forward on his chest with all the strength having left you because of the effort you’d given, you breathed heavily against him, not able to continue.

“Out of breath yet?” Jaehyun asked, and you nodded, the movements of your hips still present as you were close to your climax. “Well done, sweetheart, then I’m going to release you.”

A kiss on your temple was followed by a long thrust upwards that nearly knocked the air out of your lungs, and you buried your face in the crook of his neck, whimpering quietly against his skin as he pushed in and out of you at a rhythmic pace.

Your nails dug into his abs, your teeth grazing his neck as you came all over him within the next hard thrusts, your body shuddering in his arms.

“Good girl,” Jaehyun praised you and stroked your hair. “Now, it’s my turn.”

With one swift heave, he flipped you over and you hooked your ankles around his waist as he started to mercilessly ram into you. Through your half-lidded eyes, you saw a sun ray being projected to the wall, tiny dust particles dancing in the light as you closed your sight fully and grabbed behind you onto the headboard, the bed creaking loudly under your sweaty bodies.

You felt that he was close to cumming himself and held him tightly in your arms as suddenly, the door swung open.

“Fucking shit!” Jaehyun yelled and quickly pulled the blanket over you two, shielding your identity from his roommate who was casually walking in.

“Please don’t feel disturbed by my presence!” Ten sang and opened the door to his closet. “I’m only here to grab some clothes, then I’ll be gone again. And I would recommend you to get dressed a.s.a.p. as well, Yunnie, because classes are about to start in 20 minutes. But you’ll be done by then, I guess. Twice even.” He laughed.

“Shut up and leave, Ten!”

“Yeah, alright! As long as you don’t do it in my bed, just go ahead.”

“Well for that…”

“Please, I don’t want to know! Just use your own bed from now on!”

“Bye, Ten!”

“Bye Yunnie, bye y/n!”

You froze, and by the way Jaehyun’s body stiffened, he was just as shocked as you. Grabbing onto the blanket, you slowly dragged the concealing fabric out of your face and looked into the face of a brightly grinning Ten.

“Come on, don’t look so shocked!” he exclaimed. “I know! Everyone knows! We’ve known for so long, and we were always amused about the fact how you two clumsily tried to hide it. Enough with this hide and seek thing already, you wanna make it official yet?”

“There is nothing to make official,” you said ruefully. “Just pretend you don’t notice when you see us.”

“Ugh, you’re such a handful!”

Then, Ten walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. As you were left alone again, you exhaled deeply.

“So, where were we?” you seductively whispered into Jaehyun’s ear, but apparently, Ten’s appearance had ruined his mood.

“Ten’s right,” Jaehyun said and sat up. “I lost track of time, I have to get dressed now if I want to make it to class on time.”

“Okay, I understand.” You reached to the floor and grabbed your underwear while Jaehyun slowly got himself dressed as well. “Since it’s friday, we’re gonna see each other tonight at the club, right?”

“Sure.” He nodded. “But I’ll join a bit later.”

“Huh, why?” you asked. “Pre drinking without you is always so boring!”

Jaehyun laughed, but shook his head. “Admittedly, I asked a girl out, so we’re going on a date this evening.”

“Really?” you questioned, pulling up your panties. “Who is it? I have to examine her first to give you the permission to date her! Didn’t we agree on that? Even when I wanted to go out with Doyoung, you said no because he’s not able to hold his drink. And when Taeyong asked me out, you also said no because he’s ranked lower in class than you!”

“Yes, we agreed on going out with people who are like us - and they were not on your level. How can I know you’re in good hands if the guy you’re dating is not at least as good as me?”

“Personality-wise or in bed?”

“Both.”

“Well, bed-wise, you cannot tell anyway, right?”

“What I can tell you, y/n,” he explained while buttoning up his shirt, “is that they were not the right ones for you. Their pick up lines were way worse than mine, that’s not a standard.”

You whined, “Then who is right for me?”

“I’ll find him for you. Promise.”

“And the girl you’re going on a date with tonight?” you inquired again. “How can I make sure that she’s the right one for you if you won't introduce me to her?”

“Oh, she is - trust me!”

“Jung Jaehyun, you idiot, this is not what we have agreed on!”

“We’re going to your favorite ice cream parlor.” He winked. “Doesn’t it say a lot about her already?”

And with these words, he was gone, leaving you behind flabbergasted.

______

“You’ve been pouting ever since I went on that date, what’s up?”

You crossed your arms in front of your chest and stared at Jaehyun with an angry gaze.

He had come to the club two hours later than you agreed on. Even though light-hearted music was playing and your friends were all having fun dancing and drinking, you had been standing in the corner all this time, your eyes on your watch to count down the minutes to Jaehyun’s appearance.

And when he had finally decided to pop up, you were ignoring him, dancing with your friends and fleeing whenever he tried getting close to you. It had taken Jaehyun one more hour to finally pin you down and confront you. You hadn’t stood a chance anyway as he had caught you right after you came out of the toilet.

Pouting was far from the truth now. You were utterly pissed at him. How could he have taken some run-of-the-mine girl to your favorite ice cream parlor? To your insider’s tip, to the place no one knew about other than you and Jaehyun!

The betrayal felt real as you witnessed him tilting up his lips to an amused grin that he directly shot at you.

“Shut up, Jaehyun, that was my favorite place, and now I have to look for another one because your girlie is sure going to drag all her friends there!”

“Come on pouty, what are you getting so worked up for?”

“It was a secret place!” you defended your feelings. “And you’re bringing a girl after another there, go look for your own recommendations!”

Jaehyun laughed. “How can you get so worked up over a simple ice cream place? Besides, it was only one girl so far.”

“It was my place!” you screamed at him, luckily the music drowning the volume. “It was our place, and you ruined everything, Jaehyun!”

“Sweetheart… Are you that drunk already?”

He wrapped his arms around you, and you tried to escape from his grip, but you were enjoying his warmth and comfort way too much to actually really fight him, so you settled after winding a few times, your back resting against his chest.

Jaehyun wiped the strands of your hair away from your shoulder and kissed your neck, goosebumps immediately zapping through your body. Why did he always have such an effect on you anyway? You still wanted to fight him, but that was a fight you had lost a long time ago.

“Don’t sweetheart me, I’m not your girlie!”

“Oh really?” he whispered into your ear as his hands trailed down to your hips. “This morning, you proved me otherwise.”

With these words, he turned you around and pushed you against the wall, his hands roaming up and down your body while his lips simultaneously melted into yours. Screw that other girl. At this moment, Jaehyun was yours, and even a simple date couldn’t take that from you now.

You didn’t know how you had made it to the bathroom, but a moment later, you found yourself leaning against the cold wall of the toilet stall, the door behind Jaehyun locked. He was busy unbuttoning your blouse while in the background, the sound of muffled music mixed with the talking of the other people in the room, but you both didn’t care.

Jaehyun almost ripped your clothes apart, his hands desperately seeking to get rid of your clothing. He didn’t even trouble himself with unclasping your bra. Instead, he pulled the straps down and grabbed your breasts tightly while you threw your head back and closed your eyes.

He quickly pulled your skirt up and your panties aside, pushing two fingers inside into your core, then moving them in and out of you.

You let out a moan, and demanded lustfully, “More!”

You held onto his head while he fell to his knees and licked passionately between your folds before pulling his fingers out to work only with his tongue. He did it in relief with his warm and wet tongue as though he was a child tasting ice cream, and you couldn’t help but to moan Jaehyun’s name in ecstasy.

To hell with those people who were in the same room and eavesdropped you. At this point, you wouldn’t even mind if it was your own mother barging in and hearing you two.

You trembled and felt how your legs became weak. Filled with waves of pleasure that were rolling up your spine now, the satisfaction you got from his oral stimulation made you even wetter.

Instinctively, you brought your hips against his mouth, moving them up to meet his lips when you felt that he was teasing you. With your climax approaching, you wanted to finally release yourself, but you also knew that this wasn’t on the agenda now as Jaehyun was only playing with you.

“Faster, Jaehyun, please,” you urged.

Jaehyun only grinned evilly and let you go, licking over his lips sinfully. “No.”

You whimpered in disappointment, bringing your hand down to finish yourself off, but Jaehyun grabbed your wrists and pinned your arms against the wall.

“I said no.”

That devilish little fuck. You moaned in despair, rubbing your hips against each other to give yourself a pleasant feeling, but of course this didn’t work as well. You needed Jaehyun inside you as fast as possible.

“Jaehyun!” you pleaded, fluttering your lashes.

Jaehyun stood there, eyeing you while he opened his zippers. You were quite an eye candy for him. He couldn't remember the last time a woman had begged so hopelessly for him aside from the last time that he had teased you so badly, you didn’t talk to him for two days.

You went crazy in search of relief and you begging him was like music to his ears. They way you stood there, desperate for him with your chest nearly bare and your sex exposed to him, rubbing your thighs to give yourself the pleasure you were denied… Your red, smudged lips slightly open and moans leaving them… Jaehyun would be lying if he said he didn't like the view. He loved it.

He pressed you against the wall, his pants falling down as he spread your legs with his own. His cock was pressing against your hip, his hands under your bum before he firmly grabbed you by your thighs and lifted you up.

He let you slowly sink down on his hardened member, and a shocked gasp escaped your mouth, your fingers scratching and digging into the back of his neck.

“Jaehyun!” you screamed. “That’s too—“

“Shh. It works.” Jaehyun held you tightly with his strong arms, supporting your body on the wall.

He had a good view of your breasts and could do whatever he pleased with them. Thus, he began moving his tongue around your nipple in circles, leaving a hot trail of saliva all around your peaks.

You whimpered in pleasure and wanted to wrap your legs around his waist, but this position only allowed you to dangle them in the air. After moments of staying like that, his lips working on your cleavage and you on the verge of going crazy, Jaehyun began to move.

His length slipped in and out of you fast with you bouncing up and down on him. Every time his tip hit your brim, you let out a scream and your arms hugged him even tighter as though you were scared to suddenly fall. However, Jaehyun was strong enough to fuck and hold you at the same time.

With the wall behind you as support, you were constantly pushed against it whenever he shoved back into you. Under other circumstances, you would have complained, but now it only added to the hotness of this situation.

You both reached a moment in which Jaehyun couldn't concentrate on anything else besides his need to release himself anymore, so he moved faster and harder. Your screams got louder, your scratches deeper, and it all added pain to his pleasure.

He continued thrusting in and out of you at a quick pace, his hands lifting you up and letting you fall down on him over and over again. At this point, not only you two made noises, but also the stall wall giving in behind you and the loud bump whenever your bodies crashed on each other.

You were sure he was close when his breathing became more like ragged gasps, and you were as well. A few thrusts later, your walls tightened around him and your legs pressed together around his waist, your orgasm taking control of your body as it started from your toes and spread all over your upper body within seconds.

You threw her head back and hit the wall again, barely noticing the pain when the pleasure almost ripped you apart. You held onto Jaehyun’s body like your life depended on it, feeling like you would pass out at any moment.

Never in your life had you ever cum so hard, even though sex with Jaehyun was always top notch. If it was thanks to Jaehyun’s precise skills or the alcohol, you had no idea. You just knew that the best sex you had ever had in your life was in a toilet stall, in a place you weren’t familiar with, and that you were drunk, and you liked it.

“Shit.”

When your walls tightened more around Jaehyun, something he hadn't deemed possible since you were already so tight, he came as well while holding you with one hand and supporting the both of you with his other pressed against the tiles.

_____

“No, I can’t hang out with you, I’m on a date and you know.”

Click.

That fucker hung up on you!

“Grab your jacket, Tennie, we’re going on a mission.” You jumped out of your seat and met Ten’s annoyed gaze.

“Please, leave me out of this.”

“He’s taking that girlie to my favorite ice cream parlor again!”

“And what’s actually so wrong about that?” Ten asked back. “You don’t own that place, he can take whoever he wants.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “You don’t understand this, Ten!”

“I think I understand more than you,” he explained patiently. “You just called him to hang out even though you knew he was on a date, because you wanted to call dibs on him. And now that he confirmed it to you, you want to ruin his date. All because of a stupid ice cream parlor? Come on, y/n, even you are not that dense!”

“I am not in love with Jung Jaehyun, I told you many times already!” you repeated. “I just find it unfair that he’s showing some girlie my favorite places, because he’s so lazy to come up with his own ones!”

Ten groaned. “Your reasoning doesn’t even make sense. Many people go there. And you don’t hold any fond childhood memories or anything like that about that place as you only stumbled over it by accident a few months ago.”

“It’s dear to me, because it’s my place!”

“Do you even listen to yourself? I’m not a huge fan of this friends with benefits thing, y/n, because of exactly these reasons. How can people fuck around without developing feelings for each other? I can’t comprehend this. For me, it’s clear, one is always doomed to fall, and this time, unfortunately, it’s you, y/n.”

“I am not in love with Jung Jaehyun! We’re just friends.”

“Friends don’t make out when drunk,” Ten reminded you. “And the problem is that you’re not even only doing it when drunk.”

“Keep blabbering, I’ll go alone!”

The door shut closed behind you as you made your way to the ice cream parlor all by yourself instead.

When Jaehyun and you had agreed on this no strings attached thing, you were in a bad place in life. After your long term boyfriend had broken up with you, you were scared to never meet someone you clicked so well with ever again, yet you also didn’t want to get your heart broken so badly anymore.

So Jaehyun was the right person coming into your life at the right time as he embodied everything you were looking for in a man. And since you weren’t together, he also couldn’t break your heart.

You were just so afraid of losing him to someone else. Of losing someone so dear to you again. Even though you weren’t together, it wouldn’t hurt less, you sensed it.

When you reached the ice cream parlor, you had run out of breath. Since it was a warm summer day, the place was crowded, so you didn’t spot Jaehyun at first. But the moment you did, your heart immediately sank.

He was waiting in line to get ice cream with his back turned at you, and you didn’t know which girl belonged to him since there were a few female groups standing close to him, but you didn’t need to exactly see who his date was to know that what you were doing was wrong.

“I hate you, Jung Jaehyun!” you muttered to yourself.

To hell with him and his date. You hated him. You didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. He was now dust to you. Screw them!

But then... why were tears burning behind your eyes?

“HEY!” someone shouted and a sudden blow along with a painful hit suddenly dragged you to the hard ground. “You blind snake, don’t you have eyes?!” The bicycle came to a halt right in front of you and a young man stared at you with a furious gaze before he drove off again. “Stupid kids!”

You wanted to get back on your feet, but a sudden pain shot through your leg, and when you looked down at you, you were bleeding from your right knee.

“Asshole!” a male voice then shouted next to you. “Can’t you even help the people you nearly ran over?!”

When you raised your head, Jaehyun stood beside you and reached out his hand to help you up. Reluctantly, you accepted his offer and got back on your trembling feet. With much care, your friend pulled out a tissue, got on his knees and pressed it against your wound.

All this time, Jaehyun didn’t say a word, and it hurt you even more. The funny thing was that you didn’t even know why it hurt so much. Whether it came from your wound or from your heart. Hesitantly, you tended to the latter.

“Does it hurt so much?” Jaehyun then asked softly as he arose. “It’s a road burn, so it sure must sting.”

It was then that you realized that you had actually started crying. Luckily, Jaehyun blamed the wound for your reaction.

“Whoopsie-daisy!”

With one swift motion, he had you in a piggy pack, and you got embarrassed getting lifted like a child in front of so many people.

“Jaehyun, let me down!” you protested, but the back of his head turned to the left and right in a shaking motion. “I’m not a little child!”

“No way. Hold on tight, we’re going back to the dorms.”

“What are you doing! You have to go back to your date!”

Your body moved up and down with every step he took, but no matter how loud you protested, he held you safely in his arms while walking back to the campus.

“It can wait,” was his final response.

Even now, he was putting you first, and you realized that if you were the girl he was madly in love with, you wouldn’t want someone else to always meddle. If you were the girl he was in love with, you wanted him entirely for yourself. And if someone like you existed, that would never be the case.

It was then that you realized that not the girl was the problem, but you. You and your selfishness.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologized while more tears streamed down your face.

And it meant so much more than sorry for having interrupted the date. If you wanted him to be happily in a relationship, you had to let go. So your sorry also stood for having to part ways.

“It’s alright, y/n.”

And somehow, Jaehyun felt it coming.

___

“How come I always end up calling you when I cannot fall asleep?”

“Because my voice is so soporific?” Jaehyun yawned into your cell phone as you turned to your side and pulled the blanket over you. “What’s up that late in the night, y/n?”

“You remember that one time we went to the zoo and you were chased by a goat?”

He chuckled through the phone, and it sounded so soothing to you that you could listen to him giggle all night long. “Why are you coming up with this now?!”

“I just watched a documentary about goats.”

He laughed again. “You’re crazy. How’s your wound, y/n?”

“Much better, but it’s already been a few days, so that’s usual.”

“Great!”

“When will we see each other again?” you asked.

You inhaled deeply. Staring at your dark ceiling, you already sensed his answer.

Throughout the past few days, you had had enough time to emotionally detach yourself from Jaehyun. But even though you thought you had succeeded in doing so, hearing his voice brought back all the feelings you had tried to hide so hard from yourself and from others.

Because you had realized that you were very much in love with Jung Jaehyun.

And that probably made it so much easier to listen to the following words he uttered that had been due quite a time ago.

“I think we shouldn’t see each other anymore.”

Speaking these words out made real what had been in your mind for days. But you knew you two had to do this. Not only to protect his growing relationship, but your feelings as well. Even though he was oblivious to the last.

There were many guys out there who were just as good as Jung Jaehyun. You just had to look for the perfect one again. Perhaps, one you could absolutely not fall in love with to prevent you from experiencing another heartbreak.

That was why you didn’t fight. You didn’t even object. All you whispered back was the simple word, “Okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Mh-hmm.”

“But that doesn’t mean we cannot still be friends.”

With tears welling up behind your eyes, you explained hastily as you feared you’d lose courage, “Friends don’t make out when drunk. Friends don’t casually fuck each other. We don’t work without these things, Jaehyun. That’s why you’re no longer my friend.”

“Y/n.” Jaehyun inhaled audibly. “What does that mean?”

“I…” Your breath caught and you were shivering all over. But you weren’t able to bring these words over your lips. In the end, they didn’t matter anyway. “I wish you all the best with your girlfriend.”

Click.

This time, you hung up on him, and when the line went silent, you cried yourself to sleep as your heart hurt so much, you thought it would shatter all over again. But this time, in a thousand pieces more.

Breaking up with someone you were together with was difficult already. But breaking up with someone you weren’t even with in the first place, was much worse.

Jaehyun didn’t call you back.

____

Two weeks later, Jaehyun introduced his new girlfriend to the friend group when you had a small sit-in in the guys’ dorm.

For everyone, except probably for you, it came as a surprise as they had all thought that your little deal was still going on. But ever since that call, you hadn’t talked to Jaehyun, and neither had he tried to reach out to you.

Perhaps, it was because he had realized as well what kind of bullshit you were trying to keep up with this friendship pretence. Perhaps, he had also genuinely fallen in love with this girl who was nothing but kindness and sweetness in person.

Whatever it was, it helped you pick up the shattered pieces of your heart one by one. One day, you’d get where you were before you had met Jaehyun, you were sure about that.

“Hey.”

Until he suddenly stood in front of you. And all your feelings came crashing down on you at once.

“Hey.” You smiled shyly, your hand propping against the kitchen counter for support. “Your girlfriend is nice.”

“Yeah.” He smiled back and closed the door behind him. “She’s lovely.”

Silence enveloped the both of you. Before, you had talked nonstop all day long. Today, there was only awkwardness and embarrassment left.

“I heard you were going out with Johnny.”

You shrugged. “Only twice so far.”

“Mhhmm… I see.” Pause. “I was very hurt, you know.”

You raised our brows. “Why?”

“Because you just cancelled our friendship,” he reasoned.

“Jaehyun… we cannot have a friendship without getting physical. You know this.”

“I know!” he protested. “I realized as well, that was why I haven’t called you back. Why I haven’t tried to reach out to you again. I thought that entering a relationship would end all this.” He scoffed, nearly sounding desperate. “I thought I could have both. Love and sex. But these two just don’t go hand in hand for me, it seems.”

“What do you mean?”

“I cannot have sex with my girlfriend. I just… can’t. It’s not fun when it works. But most of the time, I’m not even getting it up.”

You shrugged. “So? What has that got to do with me? Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you were the last one I’ve slept with. What changed? Why can’t I do it anymore when we were doing it all the time together?”

You felt your heart pounding hard against your chest and fluttering at the same time when you replied boldly, “Perhaps, you just don’t desire her.”

Jaehyun stepped closer to you while you retreated, but there was no way to escape his intense stare as your hips hit the kitchen counter a moment later. “Why is it then that I feel so much desire towards you?”

Seeing the confusion in his eyes, you watched him in the same intensive manner. Breathing in deeply, you were only able to stutter, “Jae… Jaehyun, I-”

“One last time.”

… Before his lips landed on yours - and you didn’t even withdraw.

You were pushed against the counter while Jaehyun removed your top simultaneously, attacking your cleavage and every bit of your bare skin with hungry kisses. His lips opened and he sucked at your neck, his tongue licking over your tender skin and causing you goosebumps.

It had merely been weeks, but you only realized now how much you missed and longed for him.

Jaehyun reached the top of your bra with his lips and and captured your breasts with his mouth and hands after he had pulled the fabric down, building up your lust by carressing them.

You threw your head back as you let him pleasure you as he pleased with your hands entangled in his hair, pulling him close as you felt his tongue swirling over your peaks. You didn’t care about your friends, his girlfriend or the unlocked kitchen door at that moment.

With his other hand, Jaehyun dragged your skirt aside, then pulled your panties down and grabbed you by your hips to seat you on the counter.

He smirked as he let you unbutton his jeans that fell down and then draped around his shins, grinning at you widely and watching you hooking your fingers in his boxers in a hurry. When you had finally freed his member from the tight fabric, his length sprung free while you simultaneously parted your legs for him.

With your lips finding each other again and your arms around his neck while his were holding you by your waist, Jaehyun pushed you against him with his hard cock nudging against your thighs. When he had found the right angle, he pressed into you deliberately and also a bit hurriedly.

You had your head on his shoulder when you felt him ramming into you, and admittedly, the counter wasn’t the softest place to have sex on as you got sloppily pushed back and forth whenever he moved in and out of you, but it didn’t take you long to throw these thoughts aside as soon after, pleasure took over.

It had been so long since you had last been with Jaehyun, and only now it dawned on you how much you had not only missed his kisses and touched, but also his entire presence.

His laugh, his warmth, his humor, his wittiness, his kind heart, his… entire self, his whole character.

Because Jaehyun had grown to be more than a friend with benefits for you. He had grown to be the man you loved and wanted to spend your life with.

But he wasn’t supposed to be with you.

Yet, you were trying to get rid of these thoughts, your nails digging into the nape of his neck while you had your eyes clenched shut, the surface under you getting wet with all your juices while you were holding onto Jaehyun who had his arms propped against the edge to increase his pace.

Your thighs cramped, and you pressed them against his waist as you leaned back closer to the counter, Jaehyun following your angle with his lips against your cleavage. Only his groans were audible as you tried to meet his rhythm, but didn’t succeed in doing so except for a few grinding motions, hence you were only able to wiggle around, desperately wanting to meet him halfway.

Thrusting forward at last, your hips met faster, slapping against each other with an increased speed than before. You whimpered, and Jaehyun knew you well enough that this was a sign that you’d cum soon.

Anticipating the edge of climax, you panted his name in need. "Jaehyun... Jaehyun... Jaehyun."

It was music to his ears, so he raised his chest and enjoyed the sounds you made. Hearing his name falling from between your lips was enough to drive him over the edge.

He pushed forward into you until both of you were crying out in release and came all over each other.

“Glad to see that you had fun.”

With sweaty foreheads and eyes wide in shock, you turned aside without even having the chance to come down from your highs, and found Jaehyun’s girlfriend standing at the kitchen door, your friends right behind her, curiously looking into the room.

“Wait!”

Jaehyun didn’t even spare you another look before he pulled up his boxers as well as jeans and hurriedly followed his girlfriend out of the dorm.

Suddenly, you didn’t feel excited, in love and high anymore. Instead, you felt worthless, ashamed and disgusted.

“I’m never eating in this kitchen again.”

Even Ten’s comment couldn’t put a smile on your face at that moment. You shamefully dressed yourself again, and he sent everyone away to stay behind with you.

“Y/n…”

“Please…” You shook your head. “I don’t need a lecture right now. I know. I know that I was wrong, that we were both wrong, and I regret it deeply. It will never happen again.”

“Good. You’re right,” Ten commented. “Have you at least realized now that you’re in love with him?”

With your arms crossed in front of your chest, you nodded nearly invisibly. But Ten had been friends with you long enough to know.

“I know that you’re afraid of getting hurt again. But this… This is no solution to your problem. It’s probably even worse. Jaehyun is not hurting you. You, yourself, are.”

It was then that you realized that tears streamed down your face. “I’m breaking my own heart,” you were only able to utter.

“There is only one way to end this, y/n. And you know what it is.”

“I... know.”

___

You blocked Jaehyun on all your social media, including his number.

You didn’t want to get tempted to see what was going on in his life, nor get tempted to contact him on any platform. You didn’t want to be his fuck buddy to make sure he’d get it up again and help him pleasure his girlfriend.

Perhaps, you had lost sight of it along the way, but you were a human with feelings as well, and sometimes, you had to put them first above all.

When Jaehyun announced to attend a gathering, you stayed at home. When he spontaneously showed up, you left the party right away. When you saw him randomly on campus, you hid yourself until he was gone. When he was at the same club, you’d leave immediately.

Life was hard without Jaehyun for you as you started thinking that perhaps, you hadn’t meant much to him after all. You had blocked him everywhere, yet you were still hoping for him to contact you using another way.

But he never did.

He never contacted you through your friends, nor did he ever show up at your dorm. And that made you incredibly angry as you called yourself out on having double standards. You wanted him to stay away, yet fight for you at the same time.

Aside from being angry, your life also turned sad. You went to the ice cream parlor alone. You didn’t have much fun at the mall or your life overall anymore. And when you felt down, there was no one you could turn to.

Life without Jaehyun was dull.

__

“Yes, right there.”

You bobbed up and down on Johnny, your skin slapping against each other making clapping-noises, and you closed your eyes.

You were trying so hard. Really, really hard. And it was not the first time that you were sleeping with each other, but just like the times before you felt… absolutely nothing. You were not able to enjoy it, no matter which position, which circumstances…

“Oh yes…”

Johnny grabbed you by your bottocks and flipped you over so that you were lying underneath him.

This was actually one of your favorite positions, because it was so intimate, so you hoped that perhaps this time, you’d be able to enjoy it.

But even with Johnny’s soft gaze on your eyes and his tender touches on your skin, you felt… nothing.

Except for the hot tears on your cheeks.

Yet, Johnny didn’t notice them as you shifted your head aside and let him continue sinking in and out of you.

With your eyes closed, you observed that it wasn’t that bad. With your eyes closed, it was endurable since you hadn’t Johnny’s face right in front of your vision. Nobody could stop you from blending Johnny entirely out, and nobody noticed - so you just did.

Instead of Johnny, it was now Jaehyun who penetrated you. And although there was a significant difference in their technique and individual scents as well as manners, it was enough to get you through this without crying anymore.

In your imagination, it was Jaehyun who now turned your face to face him and pressed a kiss on your lips. It was also Jaehyun who brought you to hook your thighs around his waist, sat up and slapped you ass.

“Jaehyun…”

It was also Jaehyun who you held on to like a lifeline as you only concentrated on the pleasant feeling coiling up inside your groin, but no matter how hard you got stimulated, you were never truly able to reach the point of climax.

Because it just wasn’t Jaehyun.

Even when he only existed in your imagination, it just wasn’t enough. Was this what Jaehyun had meant about not being able to have sex with someone else? Was this a pattern to continue on for the rest of your life?

You didn’t want to live like this. To be so attached to Jaehyun and let him determine your life when he wasn’t even in your life anymore.

“What’s wrong?” Johnny suddenly stopped his motions, withdrew from you and sat up.

You were only able to shake your head as you dragged the blanket over your naked body and shifted to the side, burying your face in the fabric.

“It’s not you,” you sobbed. “It’s me. I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

“Is it because of Jaehyun?”

You didn’t dare to look him in the eyes. “Why would you want to know?”

“Because I heard you muttering his name more than once. When I first thought it was actually mine, it suddenly became clear to me.”

You froze, still avoiding direct face to face confrontation as you didn’t miss his bitter undertone. “Oh…”

You were tired of talking back to him. If this was the truth, so be it, and there was nothing you could change about it. You only felt sorry for Johnny.

“Please leave.”

You willingly did.

___

When you joined the party, it was already late at night as you had been occupied with your studies.

“Here, I already got you a drink ready!” Ten said upon your arrival as he thrusted a glass into your hand. “Your favorite.”

“Great, thanks!” you laughed and already nipped on it. “So, did I miss something?”

But he shook his head. “Nothing much. Some people are playing spin the bottle the rated version in the living room, but it’s way too boring for me, so I only waited for you.”

“Uh-huuu. Let’s search for the others.”

Suddenly, you both turned around as a huge ruckus made noises that even drowned out the loud music that was being played in the background.

“You fucker!”

You heard it crash from somewhere and flinched at the noise.

The shouting noises came from the kitchen, but when you looked at Ten, he only shrugged in the same clueless manner as you.

Some people were already rushing to the kitchen where the continuous screaming came from and you both followed them only to find Jaehyun having grabbed Johnny by the collar and looking at him threateningly.

“You fucked my girl, you asshole!”

Johnny looked like he had been pushed a few times already, defeated. “I didn’t fuck your ex girlfriend, are you nuts?” Johnny defended himself.

“I didn’t mean her!” Jaehyun shouted back at him. “I meant y/n!”

The next moment, all eyes were on you, and yours were on Jaehyun.

Only when Johnny’s gaze followed the others’ right to you, Jaehyun did the same until his eyes widened at the surprise that you stood there, in the middle of the crowd, not understanding the world anymore.

“Jaehyun, you ass, let him go!” you shouted at him. “I hate you!”

If you had stayed, you would have seen his soul mirrored in his eyes that broke into a thousand pieces at your hurtful words.

But you only turned around and ran out of the house.

____

There was something comforting about flannel pajamas, so when you dressed yourself in yours only an hour later after the happenings at the party, you felt even more comfortable than in the shower shortly before.

Rubbing your towel over your head, you dried your hair and stood yourself in front of your mirror, questioning the face that looked right back at you. A face so red whenever it remembered the words,

“My girl.”

He had decided against you, yet he still had the nerve to mark you as his.

Just who did Jung Jaehyun think he was? And why did your heart bump so fast whenever you recalled this scene in your mind?

“Y/n!”

You flinched at the sudden, hard knock on your door. The voice behind it, you had recognized it by the first syllable as you had only heard it merely an hour before.

“Go away!” you shouted back at Jaehyun and approached the entrance.

Unfortunately, your roommate wasn’t with you this weekend to chase out the intruder herself.

“Y/n, please open the door!” Another knock followed.

With the towel still over your head, you just meekly asked, “What do you want here?”

Pause. “I want you to stop seeing Johnny.”

You snorted and shook your head. “Why? What has that got anything to do with you?”

“A lot, actually.”

“I’m willing to listen.”

Another pause followed, and you wondered whether he had already decided against speaking to you and vanished, but then Jaehyun raised his voice again.

“When we had agreed on our little deal, you didn’t want to get your heart broken by a man again. I wholeheartedly wanted to fall in love with someone, but you didn’t. So our deal had an expiration date from the beginning. When I started dating my ex, I thought we could only be friends. But as you said, friendship doesn’t work for us without sex, and it was so unfair towards the girl. I was also so afraid of breaking your heart like your ex did.”

You bit your lip as your heart started racing. “Why would you think that?” you wanted to know through the closed door.

“Because I don’t know how to do relationships. I’ve never been in one. I only know how to fuck and to fuck up. So, when I realized your feelings grew as well as mine...”

You breathed in deeply. “So…?”

“I had to get away from you in order to not break your heart, no matter how hard it was, and no matter how much I fought against this solution. I thought having another girl would help me move forward and keep you away at the same time. Yet, I didn’t want to lose your friendship. That was so selfish of me. So when you suggested we’d stop seeing each other… I agreed and went along with it. But it resulted in the opposite. I couldn’t stop thinking about you at any second. You’ve been on my mind at all times.”

Stepping close to the door as his voice lowered, your palm touched the surface of the wood. You imagined the door as invisible and him standing right in front of you.

But you weren’t just ready yet. Even though his words were endearing, they weren’t exactly quite what you wanted to hear just yet.

“Oh.”

Jaehyun continued, “As time passed, I thought it’d stop. But it worsened. So when I heard today that you were with Johnny, I just couldn’t suppress my feelings anymore.”

Feeling hotness rising to your ears, you dug deeper, “What feelings exactly?”

“I couldn’t have sex with my ex girlfriend. And also not with anyone else after that with whom I tried. You’re the only one I can have sex with. That I want to have sex with. I thought love and sex don’t go hand in hand for me, but I was wrong. They belong together for me.”

“Jaehyun that sounds like…” You gulped.

“Please,” he interrupted you. “Let me say it first. It took me long enough to realize and then finally accept, but now I know why it’s like that. It’s because I love you. Apparently, I cannot do it without being in love like I’ve always thought anymore. I can only do it when I’m madly in love.”

For a moment, time stopped for you.

“And I love you, y/n.”

“Do you... mean it?”

“I mean it when I say that I never want to hurt you again from now on. When I do though, I swear to heaven that I will try to make amends, no matter how long it’ll take me to have you trust me again. But I don’t want to think that far into the future yet when we’re only at the beginning. I just want you to be mine from now on as you’re the only one for me.”

“That’s all?”

“Nobody will ever be good for you. Because none of them is me. I am the right one for you.”

“How are you so sure that I’d say yes?”

“Because I swear that you have the same problem of not being able to sleep with other people as me.”

You rolled your eyes, but still opened the door. There he stood, right in front of you the next moment, his worried mien getting replaced by a bright smile.

“A very smug thing for you to say, Jung Jaehyun.”

He approached you and grabbed the towel draped on your head. With both hands, he dragged on the edges, pulling you close to him.

“But I love you anyway.”

The kiss he placed on your lips tasted full of love.

[sparklysung]

✨NAVIGATION✨

© sparklysung – all rights reserved. prohibited the reposting, modifying and/or translations of any writing posted on this blog, either partially or completely.

note – lower case intended. the masterlists under this masterpost will contain works with mature content. please, read the warnings and genre of each piece of writing. i do not take responsibility if you decide to continue anyway.

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[markresonates]

my masterlist

𝕦𝕡𝕕𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕤:

Nov 28ᵗʰ, 2021: part 1 (4.6k) | Dec 5ᵗʰ, 2021: part 2 (3.8k) (8.4k; bstfrds/med student au) White Lies Series ✦

Dec 7ᵗʰ, 2021: watch me -dreamies 00 liners (1.6k; camgirl/bstfrds) ✦

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© 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎-𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

warning: 98% NSFW || personal fav per member have ☺︎

+500 n: ✦ || +1k n:  ✪ || +2.5k n: ♛

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[doycngs]

mark lee. | stranger.

summary. “you understand everything mark doesn’t speak aloud. everything he’s too afraid to say— too broken to say. bricks clutter off your entire being, the weight you’re been carrying, loving a man and loving a society that forgets you, inevitably washing away like waves carrying sand back deep into the sea.”

pairing. y/n x nct’s mark 

genre. destined lovers to strangers!au 

word count. 5k

warnings. fem!reader, swearing, smut, unprotected sex (don’t be dumb unless you’re intentionally trying to pop a kid out), drinking, angst, writing angst again because i think i did a bang up job at it, fluff ig…, reader is really in love with mark it’s really sad LOL, at this point i say not proofread to disguise the fact i badly proofread ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ at least i’m honest about it… enjoy y’all

inspo. general concept from The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab

|—————|

THERE HE IS. In all his glory, his jet-black hair parted and the ends poking at his eyes slightly. You can see that his fingertips are swiping at the annoying locks he complains about often as he talks to Johnny. His best friend is hanging on his shoulder, gesturing toward the crowd, telling the younger boy the number of fish to catch in the sea of Manhattan. 

He was right. The district had a bunch of fish to catch but you knew Mark had a picky appetite. It was funny that he always managed to reel you in, despite the anguish it inevitably brought you in the end. Leaving the next morning from his cluttered apartment never did not sting, the space scattered full of unfinished pages of lyrics and songs he didn’t even know were truly about you. 

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[hxt1b]

Why Can’t We? - Extended

Masterlist 

Jaehyun x Reader 

WC: 4.2k 

Genre: Angst (YouTuber Reader x Idol Jaehyun)

Warning: Smut and Swearing 

Original Post: Why Can’t We?

A/N: Hey thank you so much for the love on the original little blurb I wrote. I decided to write an extended version of it for you guys. I hope you like it! If you haven’t read the original I’ve linked it. This is sort of a part two but you could read this without reading the blurb as well hence why I don’t think it fits to call it a part two. Again the grammar may be iffy, I tried my best but things probably still slipped through, regardless I hope you guys like this. Let me know your thoughts. And if anyone wants to send me any requests you can go do that here. I appreciate them and will get to them as soon as I can!

You were slumped over your desk, staring at the work you had in front of you. Your business partner/ best friend was expecting this to be done by the end of the night. The video needed to be out by eight pm. It was already seven, you couldn’t focus though and you knew that if you called her and just explained to her that you fucked up. That you did the one thing you shouldn’t have. That you slept with Jaehyun. She’d help you. But you couldn’t process the fact yourself, you couldn’t process the emotions that were still running through you. You couldn’t believe that you ran. Yet you knew there was no other option. You knew how you felt about him, and Jaehyun never made any move to hide his feelings. Not from you. 

But it wouldn’t work and you knew that, you were so wrapped up in your YouTube channel and all the other opportunities that were coming your way, and he was… well he was Jung Jaehyun. You couldn’t see yourself by his side. Not with how much you’d have to hide it, not with all his fans. They’d find out, your whole life was on the internet, his was too. It wouldn’t work, it would only lead to more heartbreak. Heartbreak at a greater scale one that you could not take. 

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[hxt1b]

Why Can’t We?

Masterlist

Jaehyun x Reader 

Genre: Angst, Mature Content

Warnings: Alludes to sex but nothing graphic. 

Words: 410

A/N: This is my first go at this, so I hope you guys like it. Let me know what you think! The grammar may be iffy I apologize I tried my best. I’m also fairly new to tumblr so I’m still figuring out the details. Lastly if you guys liked this I can for sure make this longer I just wanted to put this out there for now. So yeah thank you for reading! 

 For as long as Jaehyun had known you he had known that he wanted you. He wanted you by his side, he wanted you in his bed, your hand in his hand, your lips on his lips. He wanted every hour, every minute, every second with you. 

Last night wasn’t a mistake for him and he wanted to know that you felt the same. Because it was burned into his brain now, the image of your soft skin under his hands, of your lips against his, the sounds of your moans were on repeat in his head. He looked away from your sleeping figure curled up against the wall and slowly let out a breath. He had to get out of bed. He had to move away from you before he did something he shouldn’t. 

Raking his hand through his hair he made his way to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him finally letting out the sigh he’d been holding in. He turned the faucet on not looking at himself in the mirror yet. He wasn’t sure what he’d see. For some reason, he was terrified. He was scared shit less because he had no clue what he’d see. He splashed cold water in his face. 

“We can’t” You murmured as you trailed your lips down his neck, lightly bitting into the soft skin. Your hands moving across his bare chest. 

“Y/N” You stopped and moved up to look down at him. His eyes were heavy, his lips slightly parted and swollen. You moved your hips feeling him against yourself. His eyes closed and he groaned. 

“I can’t,” You said before moving back down to his face moving your lips against his jaw. 

Jaehyun said your name again moving his hand to your shoulder and gentling pushing. You sighed, nudging his cheek with your nose. 

“But I can’t stop babe.” You breathed out. 

 His breathing stuttered, his chest against yours heaved as you ground your hips harder. His grip on your shoulder tightened and pulled you, flipping you so that you were under him. 

His eyes looked back at him, the fear settling in him as he raked a finger over the bruise on his collarbone. He was fucked. The cold water dripped off his face as he stared back at himself. Finishing up in the bathroom he made his way back to his room. 

His bed empty. 

A/N: I wrote an extended version if you guys would like to read it - here is the link Why Can’t We - Extended 

[hyu-ck]

*The warmth of the trigger on your finger was familiar, easy- the pit in your stomach was anything but.

Assassin!AU - Mark Lee - NCT - Mature Content

Part One // Part Two // Part Three

based on anon request

[dreamiesdotcom]

[2:03] Long drives with Mark from a tiring day always feels like a reward, but not at this moment with the threat of rain and the lingering memory of his ex on your mind

“You didn’t tell me she’s that lovely…”, you smile at the window, watching the dark looking clouds clump together to swallow up the remaining sunlight, “Had I known she would be that gorgeous, I would have at least put effort on my looks even just for today.”

The cold breeze from the open window meets your face and you can’t help but close your eyes. Mark keeps his eyes straight ahead, but his hands intertwines with yours tightly to at least try to assure you that ‘it’s okay, you’re okay, I love you’. You nibble on your lips.

Today, you met someone who plays an important role in Mark’s life. You made it through the day without feeling a bit of jealousy, even made sure to leave some space for her on tables and not stick to Mark throughout the whole thing so they could catch up without you sticking to him like an octopus. You spent most of the day with mostly your best friend Haechan, Johnny and Yukhei, but you’re glad that Mark is catching up with a friend. Even if she wasn’t just a friend before, it’s clear to you that she is now.

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[jenosslut]

why’d you only call me when you’re high

pairings : na jaemin x fem!reader

genre/s : angst

warnings : slight mentions of alcohol, sex and drugs

recommend song/s : why’d you only call me when you’re high - arctic monkeys (obv lmao)

word count : 0.6k

a/n : okay no im not making this into a series lmao

masterlist

—

Under the vivid moonlight, dim city and slight overcast on the noxious night, Na Jaemin found himself stuck inside his luxurious, New York-esk apartment- wait no- empire at three in the morning

His body was wrapped in between silky white sheets as he tried to close his eyes in order to drift into sleep.

As the man was about to find himself in dreamland, escaping all his worries for what would feel like a couple minutes; his phone lit up, releasing a vexatious ‘ding’ sound.

The Na groaned exasperatedly as his body crawled closer towards his nightstand, hand reaching his phone.

Although he had grabbed his phone in order to put it on silent, a message from an unexpected person caught his attention, making his heart leap just at the contact name.

“I need a partner, are you out tonight?” He read, heart crashing in forbidden enthusiasm.

He wanted to say he hated this, wanted to be able to push you away whenever you tried to contact him. He told himself, several times, that he should be aware of his self worth. That he shouldn’t crawl back to you whenever you desired.

He should’ve been able to stand up for himself, to not give you what fancied.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t get himself to speak up against you. He could never think about himself whenever it came to you.

He absolutely adored you. For so long. His heart raced expeditiously whenever he saw your contact name displaying on his phone. He knew you didn’t care about him romantically one bit. You just used him as an accompaniment whenever a feeling of solitary captivated you.

You were in for a treat, he was in for trouble.

Hesitantly, the Na bit his bottom lip as his fingers begun to type.

“Why’d you only call me when you’re high?”

There couldn’t be many reasons why you had suddenly decided to remember his existence. Specially at three in the morning out of many appropriate time periods.

You either wanted to get high, drunk, fuck or- probably- do all of the above.

He sucked in his breath as his eyes ungovernably closed, hands trembling as he desperately lingered for a reply.

Jaemin’s eyes shot open seconds later as his screen was lit up with your reply once again.

“I’m not high, Na. Just wanted some time with you. Though, you’re starting to bore me, baby.”

You brought out the apprehensive in him. His breath hitched, body filled with nervousness as he tried his best to overcome it.

“Come over.”

And he gave in. He was ruining himself on his own. Yet he loved every second of it.

He loved the feeling of your bare body pressed onto his. Legs tangled as he whispered candied words onto your hair, inhaling the ambrosial scent surrounding you.

He lived moments like that to its fullest. It was pathetic, considering you only found your way into his arms whenever your mind was onto something. But he treasured those moments. He treasured you.

Just ten minutes after his thumb pressed onto the send button, his doorbell rang, eyes witnessing your alluring figure.

He observed everything about you as you stood in front of him with that enticing smile of yours that he could never get enough of. An expensive bottle of wine delicately shaking in between your hands as your body was only wrapped inside a baby pink, silk nightgown.

And that moment was when he knew, he was incapable of making alright decisions. His heart won, and he lost to you once again.

[rouiyan]

already yours.

part of the ‘before i met you’ collective.

copyright © 2020 rouiyan all rights reserved.

pairing — lee jeno x (fem.) reader genre — like a sultry sweet aus — college au, fwb2l disclaimers — swearing, mentions of sex. length — 1049 

synopsis: promise that if you were mine i’d never let it go to waste.

song: thinkin bout you - katie, comme de garcons - jiwoo.

a/n: head mpty, no idea what or how to write.

__________

it takes a few moments for your head to clear, the most recent occurence forming a fog in between your thoughts. through the now-translucent haze, you hear jeno’s irregular breathing against your chest accompanied by the wetness of his tears. he’s looking for a reaction in your blank face as if any minute sign of expression would be able to supply him a clue to how you’re feeling but he knows that nothing will show unless you will it to. 

per usual, jeno arrived at your door step, a certain look in his eyes that you try your best not to think about too often. he isn’t one to say much, especially when it’s already written all over his face, but you were nothing if not in full knowledge about what he was here for. a quick fuck, a rush of pleasure. you don’t know much about jeno but you do know he has a quite the hefty line of girls that are readily available and fully content with taking your place, seeing as you’re starting to notice some other things about jeno that might make him out as more than just the services he provides. but if anything, it’s those very things, those feelings, that keeps you by his side.

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