â For a long time, love was unattainable for her. She wrote, sang and dreamed about it, but she had never been truly in love.
The truth is that, and although she denies it, Kang Sohee is a hopeless romantic and she always has been. She often dreamed of meeting the right person and doing everything right so that love would last... and not fade like her parents' love.
However, love is strange and it does not come easy. She has learned that you can meet thousands of people and yet none of them will make you feel the things that you are supposed to feel.
She has also learned that you can mistake love. And as much as it hurts and breaks your soul, there are people you were born to love, and there are others you were not.
So, Seren doesn't have much experience in romance. And she's slowly learning that love and infatuation are two different things, that it doesn't have to hurt, that it should make you feel happy, and that you don't go looking for the right person, because eventually fate brings you together. â
â I'm too shy to tell you how I feel.
So I'll hide behind timid smiles and soft hellos.
I'm afraid if I ask you: "what do you think of me? " your reply will be "I don't" â
duration of crush: 2014 â 2015
relationship: close friends, one side crush
current status: they haven't spoken in a long time but she still cares for him
their things: practicing together, sharing chocolates, him giving her books and then the next week sharing opinions about them, eating together all the time
playlist: kid in love by shawn mendes & u smile by justin bieber
Wang Yong came to SM Entertainment in late 2012 and Lee Taeyong quickly took care of him under his wing. He was quite a popular trainee, not only because of his looks, but also because of his great talent for dancing, despite his young age. He was to the younger ones what Kang Seulgi was to Sohee.
Wang Yong was a sweet guy, it was inevitable for girls not to have a crush on him, and anyone in his place would take advantage of it, but not him. He was focused on doing what he had to do: training hard. That's the reason why his only friends for a long time were only Taeyong and Hansol.
Kang Sohee (long before she was known as Seren) officially met him in late 2013, after watching him practice. They did not become friends right away, since it was not easy for him to open up to other people. However, when she became close to Taeyong, they inevitably had to become friends. And then they connected thanks to dancing, something they were both passionate about. They went from being acquaintances to partners who practiced together to friends. Then it was not only Wong Yong, Lee Taeyong and Ji Hansol, now it was also Kang Sohee.
2014 was a rough year for her, starting from the loss of her grandparents to learning that she was not going to debut with Red Velvet. It was the most difficult year for her in all that time locked up, but her friends were with her. And he didn't go unnoticed, no matter how hard he tried. He always carried an extra portion of food for her, left her books that he thought she would like and always pretended not to learn the choreography so that she could teach him and in that way distract her mind by doing what she likes the most.
It really wasn't difficult to like Wang Yong, he was sweet and a good boy. Soon she found herself thinking that she really liked the way he wrinkled his nose when he laughed, or how his eyes sparkled when someone complimented him and, most of all, the way he tilted his head when he was confused. And then every time he looked at her she felt something in her stomach (and no, she had thought the first time she felt it, it can't be diarrhea), her cheeks would blush and it was difficult for her to keep look at him.
He was her crush for a few months and suddenly their interactions were shy smiles and sharing chocolates. Until he was no longer making her feel like she was flying. He meant a lot to her because not only he was her first butterflies in her stomach, he was also one of her close friends and one of the most supportive.
Sometimes she still thinks about him, what is he doing? how is he doing? what it would have been like if he had debuted in NCT instead of her? SM Entertainment did not treat him well, apparently his voice was not good enough, in the future they had told him. All she knows is that he returned to his home in China, and all she hopes is that he's truly happy.
â There's a boy I like.
He smiles so bright and my heart can't take it.
We both love the same things.
I think about him all the time.
duration of crush: 2017 â early 2018
relationship: bandmates, best friends, crush
current status: bandmates, best friends, partners in crime
their things: holding hands, sharing songs, singing, rapping, dancing together, telling jokes, listening to music, trying to teach her basketball, teaching him to play futboll soccer, doing karaoke
playlist: the one that got away by katy perry & walk you home by nct dream & everything has changed by taylor swift & catching feelings by justin bieber & whenever you are by 5sos
For a long time, Mark was the closest thing to a best friend that she had. They practically grew up together (and are still growing). They wouldn't exactly tell each other everything, but they did trust each other. And every day, especially when they missed home, they would get together to tell their funniest childhood stories, and then listen to music for the rest of the time, enjoying each other's company.
Maybe that's what made her have feelings for him. Maybe it was the inside jokes, the laughs, the songs, maybe it was all together.
It was different, of course. It didn't feel at all like her first crush. No, it was definitely stronger, because they were Mark and Seren â everyone was talking about Mark and Seren: NCT's 99 line, best friends.
Liking Mark was a fresh feeling, no discomfort, no obvious blushes, no big butterflies either. No, liking Mark was being at peace. Being comfortable in his presence, hearing him sing, sharing smiles, doing mischief together, it all felt too good... almost like she was born for it.
And maybe she was born to love Mark, but in another life. Because on this one Mark Lee and Kang Sohee were just best friends. And although at nights she sometimes dreamed of his eyes, the same ones that hold thousands of stars, in the morning she reminded herself that nothing could change the friendship they had.
That's one of the reasons why she didn't do anything about it, that and because she didn't want to ruin all their efforts just for a crush.
It was difficult for her, because months passed and she kept thinking about him. Until eventually she stopped seeing him in a romantic way, his hugs stopped making her feel things (things you're not supposed to feel for a friend) and at night his eyes and laughter stopped appearing.
Now that time has passed, she realizes that staying best friends with him is a hundred times better than a possible relationship with him. And she prays, Oh, she prays that Mark Lee's future partner can love and appreciate him as much as he deserves... As much as she could have.
â I enjoy our time together. And your laugh, your voice, your kisses. I enjoy you.
We may not be in love and that's okay for us.
Because what matters right now is that we're both having fun. â
public knowledge: private (only friends)
duration of relationship: march 2018 â april 2018
their things: hanging out with friends, kisses, supporting each other, hugs
playlist: we are young by fun feat janelle monaé & locked out of heaven by bruno mars
They met at some awards and immediately they knew there was attraction, so they exchanged phone numbers and soon found themselves talking every single day.
They both knew what it was and what they wanted, to be young and have fun.
Those two months sometimes felt like an eternity, because they genuinely had a good time together. There was always fun, affection and, most importantly, sincerity.
They both knew it was meant to be over, so they enjoyed it.
Having fun with Moonbin felt like riding the drop tower: they weren't afraid of it, they just felt the adrenaline and fun you feel being up there in the air. But just as fast it goes up, it also goes down. And even though in the end you seem to want more, you know enough was enough.
â I loved you as Icarus loved the sun â too close, too much. â
public knowledge: private for three months until their members found out
duration of relationship: july 2018 â january 2019
relationship: kind of dated, never really had a "tittle"
current status: acquaintances, they don't really talk anymore
their things: secret dates, midnight calls, back hugs, kisses
playlist: sweet creature by harry styles & the scientist by coldplay & the end of love by florence + the machine & it will rain by bruno mars
Kang Sohee and Jung Wooseok were never in love, but they might as well have been.
They met in mid-2018 thanks to a close friend, and the physical attraction was so immense that without thinking they both decided to give it a try. It was all very fast, but the result had been good. They were something, no tittle, yet they didn't care because they were okay with that.
Their relationship was like trying a new dish, they didn't know what to expect: they didn't know if it would be sweet or salty, everything was so different. But they had liked it. They spent a good time together, sometimes hiding from their members, it was a little secret that only the two of them knew.
They loved what they had. Midnight calls, secret dates, just sneaking around their members backs like that. It was exciting and fun. They were young people enjoying themselves.
Until it became real. Too real.
Suddenly they weren't just missing each other's presence, but they craved for their touch and kisses.
It was almost like an obsession. Every time they were together they felt intoxicated. They needed more, they wanted more.
And that wasn't healthy nor they where ready for that.
So, because they cared about each other, they put a stop to it. God knows that if they had stayed together, they would have burned.
'What is Love? It's too big of a word for me. I don't understand it at times.'
'If you understand Kindness
If you understand Respect
If you understand Acceptance
Then you will understand Love.' â
public knowledge: private (only members and close friends)
duration of relationship: december 2019 â present
relationship: acquaintances to friends to lovers
current status: in love, best friends
their things: nose, forehead and cheek kisses, showing her his art, painting together, taking pictures, listening to music, dedicating songs, slow dancing, hype man! hype woman!, writing songs about each other, domestic dates
playlist: love someone by lukas graham & ily by the rose & common by zayn & have you ever been in love? by the ivy & love somebody like you by joan & sunday morning by maroon 5 & natural by zayn
Falling for Xu Minghao was like breathing, so natural, so effortless, without realizing it.
They met in 2018 and for a year they were just acquaintances: their bandmate's friend. There were few interactions, maybe greetings and a few smiles. But when she has a very persistent Boo Seungkwan as her best friend, it was only a matter of time before she eventually became friends with the rest of them.
Being friends with Minghao is yellow, like observing the sunset. It's relaxing, enthusiastic, supportive, positivity, happiness...
It was an unexpected friendship but suddenly they were sharing songs, painting together and hanging out a lot more than with their original friends. Soft laughs, little jokes, looks full of adoration â it was so obvious that there was something there, they could feel it and everyone could see it. And still it took almost a year for them to take the risk. Was it really mutual or were they just imagining it?
He was the first to take the step, because even if it was all in his head at least he would be at peace knowing that he tried and didn't just let her go.
It was silly, really, how much they wanted to be together and how much they doubted.
Loving Minghao is comforting, honest, understanding, compassion, teamwork, sometimes overwhelming, and a new feeling that completely scares her because she has never been in love or in a serious relationship, yet she is sure of one thing: discovering those feelings with him was her best decision.
