LIFE IS NOW @neakyseivers - Tumblr Blog

You came into my life and made everything else feel like a rehearsal. Love always came to me as a question, but with you, it felt like an answer. I didn't know I had put up walls until you brought them crashing down. I couldn't figure out why love was different with you until I realized it hadn't been love with anyone else.

Lang Leav, With Anyone Else

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loubis-and-champagne

X

desactivemaintenant-deactivated

waitingforthesunrise

I will be hard to love.

Not because I will be cruel to you (know that I would die all the little deaths that come your way, pressing them to my chest like stolen letters, inhaling the pain to spare you discomfort) but because

I will be cruel to myself

And you will have to watch.

I stumble into sabotage

So like a ballroom: my lying assurances

Dancing the night away —

my love, you will have to pull me off the bathroom floor.

I looked bewildered at my agony

And knew only what I was afraid to lose.

You will hold me and I will apologize again

And again, and again. You kiss my apologies on the forehead

And send them kindly on their way.

I will be hard to love

Because I have made it that way. But

I squeeze your hand in the parking lot

And know that difficulty is nothing, nothing, nothing

Nothing to a adoring soul.

desactivemaintenant-deactivated

HOUSE

I used to love playing house with you.

Rearranging the furniture, buying matching sheets and doonas to suit the decor. Breakfast in the mornings and what’s for dinner tonights. Whose sleeping on what side and will we even sleep tonight? Snugs before turning over and entering our individual dreamland before waking up to our fantasy reality of what’s for breakfast and what do you wanna do today?

I used to love playing house with you, until I realised I didn’t because playing house with you never made it a home.

A home should feel safe and warm, it’s a feeling of coming together, but every time we do our home falls apart.

Back and forth, back and forth, each time knowing there’s going to be another back and forth but doing it anyway because I used to love playing house with you .

sweatermuppet

this is going to be difficult -> i am capable of doing difficult things -> i have done everything prior to this moment -> this difficulty will soon be proof of capability