Neap Tide

This is a side blog! All likes and follows will come from my main blog, goosemilk.

[hahshbsdisksnjsjsjebsdeactivated]

@thisishangingrockcomics

[thisishangingrockcomics-deactiv]

Farm equipment association going hard w the truisms

[aceanarchist-archives-blog]

This is the most southern gothic thing I have fucking seen

[wormsdotinfo]

[poppy--whip-deactivated20200521]

@calibornsmainsqueeze

[glumshoe]

Me just now, cradling an enormous puffball mushroom in my arms like a swaddled babe, careful not to tear its soft and yielding flesh, walking through a graveyard: “You and I have much in common, my friend. You are nearer to animal than plant. Did you know that? We are cousins.”

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Mood.

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I just wanna go hiking with my bud. With her injury we've just been going around town lately on a drag line. She's a good girl.

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My new favorite hobby is not eating anything all day so that my hunger pangs are worse than my withdrawal pangs. Then when I do eat, chasing it with enough wine that I fall asleep fast.

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mood

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I’m knee deep in the Ramayan serial right now and it’s incredible. These are the four brothers, clockwise from top left: Ram, Bharat, Shatrughn, Lakshman.

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ETA: this is it, this is the whole show

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Revisiting Ramayana again in 2017. Reading the Ramesh Menon translation. Lmao @ these actors all playing 16-year-olds.

[dimensional-tourist]

In the pursuit of learning, every day something is acquired. in the pursuit of Tao, every day something is dropped.

~ Lao Tzu

[cheaphalloweencostume]

my life has gotten exponentially better since I abandoned the “I was once a kid in AP programs and now I’m a subpar to average adult like the rest of the rabble, boohoo, woe is me” mindset and wholeheartedly adopted the fact that I’m a big loud dumbass and I’m going to make it everyone’s problem

[regularlesbian]

fun fact: any policy on drugs that isn’t harm reduction is going to cause addicts to suffer and die

[uncanney]

fun fact: Drug addiction is a public health issue, and approaching it as if it were a law enforcement issue is prejudicial to addicts and will result in their suffering and death

[jumpingjacktrash]

if you just assume addiction is a method of self-medicating, you’ll pretty much never be wrong.

now, not everything people self-medicate for actually has a proper treatment. i’m pretty sure the reason my uncle made sure to be slightly drunk at all times ‘to round the sharp corners off of things’ was sensory processing disorder. i have that too, and i just kind of accept that i’m going to randomly get my brain sandpapered from time to time. there is no medication for that. all you can do is dull your senses. i’ve chosen not to, but i can’t blame him for his decisions. when a ringing phone feels like getting hit upside the head with a frying pan, liver damage sounds like a fair price to pay.

anyway, it seems really self-evident to me that people don’t enjoy living the life of an addict, they do it because the alternative looks worse. people don’t get addicted to substances just for funsies. they start making a habit of taking something because of insomnia, or grief, or headaches, or depression, or seething undirected rage and terror they can’t put a name to – something that they can’t ignore or shrug off. and for whatever reason – lack of access, lack of knowlege, lack of money, or it just plain doesn’t exist – they aren’t able to apply the Approved Correct Remedy. they use what they can get.

addicts aren’t some weird otherfolk who inexplicably just Do Drugs because they’re Bad. addicts are you with a problem you can’t solve.

[neap--tide]

Lunch break find 😩👌

[geekdawson]

one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have. 

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships. 

The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery. 

[drawinglobster]

Did someone say . . Firefox? 8D (I’m sorry.)

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Last night I had a dream that me and some other women were in the oriental-rug strewn home gym of Rich Evans's mansion and he was sitting on a butterfly machine in grey sweats and an oversized t-shirt teaching us how to string our bows, as he was going to be leading our hunting party, "The Daughters of Artemis".

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Poor baby cut her wrist on something while hiking today. Luckily we were literally 100’ from the car at that point (on the end of the loop), so I brought her home thinking I’d just clean it up and bandage it if needed. After flushing it I saw it went all the way to “the white meat”… so away we went to the vet. She was very excited to go on another “r-i-d-e” and was in high spirits generally. The vet sedated her, cleaned the wound thoroughly, and closed the wound with 5 staples. I was given painkillers and antibiotics to give her for the next week.

Poor baby’s still zonked out from the sedative, but her wagger works when she hears us at least ❤️. I hope she recovers quickly.