Y’all. I’m working a corporate gig this week and needed to update my address for payroll. I am in a 15 story office building and was told “just go to payroll.” I don’t know where that is. What follows is straight out #TheStanleyParable.
First I go to the receptionist on my floor. They do not know where payroll is or who to talk to. They direct me to the lobby desk. So to the escalators I go. At the front desk no one knows where payroll is but they remember a name attached to an email once. We’re cooking now.
They look up that person in their internal system. That person is listed as working on the 7th floor but no office or desk assigned. I’m told “you can only get onto that floor with a keycard so just stand outside the door til someone comes in or out.”
20 minutes of just awkwardly standing there with no activity. Finally someone comes out:
“Hi, can you help me? I’m looking for ______”
“I don’t know who that is. They don’t work back here.”
“I was told they do. I’m working an event and need to talk to payroll.”
“Payroll’s not here. Pull up your office app and look them up.”
“I don’t work here, could you?”
“Oh, they do work back here. You can come in. I don’t know where they are.”
So now I’m just in an office area with people looking at me while I just…look.
Finally I find a person who has a hand drawn map detailing offices and desks of people not in the system. My missing person is located. It is at the end of a very long hallway in the back corner.
Y’all I went down that very abandoned feeling hallway. BUT SUCCESS. WE FOUND PAYROLL.
I knock. No answer. I can hear a voice inside. So I wait. Maybe they’re on the phone?
5 minutes. I knock again.
5 more minutes. I knock again. I try the handle, it’s unlocked!
It is an empty tiny room with a filing cabinet. A speaker is playing a #podcast. I do not recognize the podcast. There are two doors in this tiny room. There a sign announcing payroll only is in office on Wednesday.
On my way back out of the area I am asked if I found it. When I said yes the employee says,
“That’s incredible. I’ve been trying to find Payroll for 3 weeks.”
THEIR DESK IS LIKE 50 FEET AWAY.