Where have all the good men gone?

Funny Memes, photos, and situations with a littttttle dash of real life thrown in.

[needakristoffnotahans]

I remember one particular day that was hard. I remember being locked in the bathroom, just for some peace. Just empty, while they banged and cursed and threw insult after insult at the door. Sometimes even their fists. I remember sitting there, hugging my knees on the floor thinking that "Life truly sucks"

Then my neighbor from down the hall, sent me a photo through text. Of a Starbucks bag on my door. It was something so small, a gesture of kindness as I'm sure they heard the commotion. It was something that would be so insignificant to someone else except...to me...it was a hand. To let me know I wasn't alone.

[cindy-lou]

Hercules (1997) Dir. Ron Clements And John Musker

[whichcouldmeanothing]

my favourite childhood movies (2/?) MONSTERS, INC. (2001) dir. Pete Docter

[needakristoffnotahans]

While I ate some tacos today I had...something of a flashback. I remembered a time where I could have been literally layed out on the ground while they kicked me over and over for something or other and while I tried to pick myself up and put myself back together in the bathroom I'd think to myself "It's ok...I have tacos and tacos always make me happy"

It's one of those memories that is kinda funny but also...really sad. Sad because I was so broken down that I'd be wiping blood running down my ear from my piercings being ripped out but I was happy that I could get my comfort food ✨tacos✨

This is another reason why people will never understand truly what it's like to live in an abusive situation. Explaining that your brain chemistry has been so messed up over time to make you not leave, to develope Stockholm Syndrome over it, most people wouldn't get it. Heck, I never got it...until I was that person.

[needakristoffnotahans]

There was a specific kind of...mental hell I remember. It was trying to put everything to the side and trying to enjoy a day together.

Except...why was I the only one initiating hand holding?

Why was I the only one excited to do something together?

I never once asked for a kiss the whole time out and because I didn't ask...I never recieved one.

Was I just that unworthy of their love...of any amount of tenderness?

Maybe these things were all flags I missed or even ignored. Somewhere along the way they came to the conclusion that a relationship is what one spends on the other. When all I wanted was to hold their hand and walk hand in hand like the couple's around us. To hug while standing. To get ONE kiss. I never thought that was asking a lot until I was the one walking on ahead by myself. Or watching the other people hug each other while I stood there trying to not cry.

It became a topic of discussion that never amounted to anything

Never changed

So I stayed like that...in that frozen state of wanting love but feeling like, for whatever reason, I was unworthy of it.

[needakristoffnotahans]

Become ok with being the villain in someone else's story even if you weren't. Never forget that people will turn you into whatever it is that they need you to be so that their internal narrative can make sense to them. So stop trying.

[needakristoffnotahans]

I just want to read books and drink coffee. I just want a peaceful life.

[hjbender]

Sometimes you have to sit outside in the sun for a few minutes and eat a fruit while looking at green things. To combat the horrors.

[officialkendallroy]

[needakristoffnotahans]

"What did you get for Valentine's Day?"

The easy answer? Chocolates. I always smiled and put on my best "happy" face. If they pressed for more I'd always just make up some dinner plans or some activity I saw some other couple doing. It became normal and frankly easy to make up these lies. Deep down I wanted to cry and heck there were some days where it got really hard to lie. Specifically Valentine's day. It was hard seeing normal couples doing activities and just loving each other. All I wanted was to enjoy this day too. Sadly, more often than not, it went like this

"What did you get for Valentine's day?"

I got lots of relaxation "sleeping" right when I got home from work to avoid angering them. 4 free hours of my time spent pretending to sleep under my blanket, reading or on my phone. I got called wonderful, loving, names like "fat, stupid, cunt." Got to do a whole facial cleansing as I spent a fair bit of it locked in the bathroom trying to avoid getting hurt. I also had a delicious meal of pop tarts that I had in my room and I ate quietly under my covers.

Sadly I doubt the truth of the day ever would have gone over well with everyone, so the fabrication was important

[needakristoffnotahans]

[needakristoffnotahans]

Normal became eating in the washroom simply because that was the only door left in the house that wasn't destroyed. Sitting in the dark with my phone flashlight listening for any sound of an oncoming attack. It was the only door they couldn't break down simply because of where the sink was positioned, it provided extra leverage to push against to keep the door intact and stop them from opening it. So the bathroom became a tiny safe space.

-Memories from a survivor

[needakristoffnotahans]

Bottom Right one. Anyone else?!

[needakristoffnotahans]

Oh yes...I totally knew what that meant...

[needakristoffnotahans]

"The battle of the speeds" as I used to call it. The thing that started out as a joke...that they would always be walking so fast. SOOO fast in fact that they were always 20 steps in front of me. At first I just joked that it was me, that I had short legs. Then after the abuse started I realized it was something completely different. Control. Narcissistic control over the situation. I was lesser than them and they made that known in every possible circumstance. Walking beside someone usually requires compromise, but narcissists don't compromise. I remember injuring my knee, which mainly healed but would never be the same, and struggling to keep up with the narc while they spat insults at me like "slow" "fat pig, walk faster" "you're wasting my time" and many other things and I never said anything. I was, in a sense, beaten into submission. I was so used to it I didn't think twice about it. It wasn't until I walked around with friends that I noticed... that I wasn't left behind. They waited for me and adjusted to my speed. I remember one time walking through a park and the thought hit me...and I started crying. They were so shocked that I had to explain I never enjoyed walking anywhere before, that I was always left behind and rushed. These small things you never think about until you realize what you're missing, what truly wasn't normal about a previous situation and it's only when you gain distance from it that you truly can see.

[needakristoffnotahans]

Manipulation is when they blame you for your reaction to their toxic behavior, but never discuss their disrespect that triggered you.

[needakristoffnotahans]

The good ol' days 😎