Neelam ki ShabdVaahini

Words and more by Urvi Kochhar Heyooo! I hail from a country where every street is a new world; every corner is an inspiration. And this is reflected very well in what I write. I have been posting my poems and write-ups on my blog. There is no format for poetry and no conventional way of writing; nobody can teach you what and how to write. I greet the divine within you - “Namaste”

[neelamkishabdvaahini]

Can you possibly pick your friends ? Is the incessant desire of having the perfect group of friends a reasonable one ?

These lines from John Green have left an indelible mark on my mind. There is beauty in friendship, but not every friendship is beautiful. But if it is not beautiful, is it even friendship ?

I did not know what happened to me

I was lost in a reverie

Then with roaring winds, they came

Started playing a lovely game

We walked the hills and the bends

And they became my friends!

[neelamkishabdvaahini]

It's my 3 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[the-quiet-muse]

Snow drifts gently, a silent decree,

Blanketing earth in a white, quiet plea.

Each snowflake unique, yet blending the same,

Like body’s of students playing the school’s game.

The weight builds softly layer by layer,

Icing the ground, giving a quiet prayer.

Paths once clear now hidden out of sight,

The journey ahead veiled by white.

But as the storm wanes, and skies grow clear,

The brilliance remains, sharper and sincere.

For beneath the chill lies a beautiful glow,

Finals passed, like melting snow.

[neelamkishabdvaahini]

F A C E S

I am mostly a nice person for those who have ever known me (known a particular face of me to be very precise). But I am not. I come across as some princess of an untouched world, but I eat raw butter. I have a lot of friends, but only a few people of my own. I know for a reason that I am not too close to the shore, but I am also not too gutsy to swim in the dark waters alone. Making others happy is not my cup of tea, but it has always been the case. I hardly spilled the paint in the process of painting a perfect picture. That is a good thing I thought. But believe me, it's not. When everybody sees you like Picasso, you can't go small. The pressure is not supposed to be there, because apparently, everyone ends up loving you.

Life still makes sense. Maybe because I handle it sensibly. In the world of faces, I too own quite a few. And people don't understand that sometimes. They themselves own a thousand, but want me to be the same as they captured once.

Isn't that unfair?

I greet the divine within you-"Namaste"

[abovemyheights]

[neelamkishabdvaahini]

What is your aim in life?

To be a better version of your selves?

To change the world you are living in?

Or

To create a new world?

For me?

"None of these! "

My aim in life is to be the same. To be the same girl who thinks she can have 10 butterflies sitting on her arms one day. To be the same young woman who wants to swim down to the cosmos underwater. To be the same little miss know it all who is actually very stupid and naive. To have all those people who make me happy and to distance from all those who never tried to be happy with me. To ignore what I can't control and grab by the horns what I can.

My aim is to never be aimless. To be the same and yes to look at the world with the same innocent eyes.

I wake up every morning and think about what I want to achieve in life. From tomorrow I will wake up and live all that I already have!

Cheers to me:)

[neelamkishabdvaahini]

Stardust

Our relations define us. Our life is a product of who we meet, know, or live with. It has been 955 days and 22,920 hours since I posted my first blog post here. It is now time for a small revealer.

I was not even in middle school when my Nani (maternal grandma) passed away. To be truly honest, I never came to understand her properly. When she was running behind me, I was busy enjoying my new world out of mom's uterus, and when I got some sense, she said goodbye. So she was 'Neelam.'

But this blog isn't about her. It was never about her. She wasn't a poet, writer, or a philosopher. And she did not possibly teach me any of the things I write here on Tumblr. Then what did that old lady do that she has her name written right on the top?

'Vaahini' in Hindi means channel. And my pretty granny decided to make me a delicate channel. So, some stardust was sprinkled on me by my grandma (who is possibly enjoying a glass of wine with the Gods now). And that canon event has led to all the beautiful writing I do. My Nani gave birth to my mother, but that is not too big of an accomplishment.

Nani, you still deserve a million thank yous, and well yes a blog by your name for doing something magnificent. Thank you Nani for raising a girl who is much more than my mother. 

PS: She is not at all like you and does not make better food as well.

Thank you Nani for making me fall in love with the festival- Janamashtmi. It was because of you that I dressed up as Radha and sang in my very horrible voice a famous Bhajan dedicated to Lord Krishna.

As a writer, I have had many Eureka moments, and I know that it is your stardust that brings me all those values you couldn't give me in your lifetime.

On a slightly different note...

We go to Uttarakhand every year. Every year it is. My mother loves it and now I have to love it too. I have literally visited every inch of this state. From Haridwar to Chamoli and from Dehradun to Nainital, there is beauty, beauty, and beauty. Aesthetic, spiritual, and cultural beauty. Too much beauty and altitude make me dizzy. But when you know it is the comfort destination for your mother, you end up loving even the mischievous monkeys that reside in every temple’s corridor. Believe it or not Mom, today when I am getting accepted by universities abroad, I understand why the snow in Uttrakhand is gold.

My mother has taught me what a family is. I can’t possibly say that we are the best family in the world because the life I am living with them is the only life I know about. And I can't possibly say that Mom you are the best mother because you are the only mother I have ever had. Plus that would be unfair to Nani. But what I can say is that I am the best version of myself today because I have you.

Happy Birthday Mumma!

This blog isn't the best description of you because you know you are not the best mother in the world.

 Nani, you have to help me choose. Which bhajan from your abundance am I supposed to sing next?

I greet the divine within you-"Namaste"

[neelamkishabdvaahini]

"Do not save your loving speeches for your friends till they are dead. Do not write them on their tombstones, speak them now rather instead. "

~Anna Cummins

[neelamkishabdvaahini]

The last time...

There were one, two, three, and four

And way too much to explore

There was melody in the sun

And a very slow run

There were stories and tales

Smooth and rough trails

Woven but smelly threads

Some not so real trends

Flavours new and old

Walls with stolen gold

New faces with colors old

And old faces with new folds

Some minutes of solitude

And positive attitude

The late-night talks

And very noisy walks

Moments of dreams came true

Souvenirs we sew

Happiness made me cry

I just don't know why

Now this is a sad rhyme

Because it was the last time.

The most memorable school trip! "Class of 2024"

Gwalior diaries!!!!

[neelamkishabdvaahini]

Thank you @mohak-jain and everyone who got me to 25 reblogs!

[neelamkishabdvaahini]

The last time...

There were one, two, three, and four

And way too much to explore

There was melody in the sun

And a very slow run

There were stories and tales

Smooth and rough trails

Woven but smelly threads

Some not so real trends

Flavours new and old

Walls with stolen gold

New faces with colors old

And old faces with new folds

Some minutes of solitude

And positive attitude

The late-night talks

And very noisy walks

Moments of dreams came true

Souvenirs we sew

Happiness made me cry

I just don't know why

Now this is a sad rhyme

Because it was the last time.

The most memorable school trip! "Class of 2024"

Gwalior diaries!!!!

[neelamkishabdvaahini]

"It is one of the biggest ironies of life that people who love you the most hurt you the most."

You find two kinds of people in your life: the people who are with you and the second who are always there for you. If you prefer keeping the first type closer, you will never be alone; if you keep the second type closer, you will never be lonely.

[neelamkishabdvaahini]

Dream

I hear the heaven dancing

And all the winds falling

I see the flowers singing

I see the cold cold air

And the very silent rains

I feel the gentle hushes

And the cozy smells

All the birds talk

And all the water speaks

The sun looks brighter

And the moon more red

Am I in a deep dream?

Or are you my dream?

[neelamkishabdvaahini]

[̲̅P][̲̅E][̲̅R][̲̅F][̲̅E][̲̅C][̲̅T]

My perfect just escaped my heart

It went to some distantly land

Did you see it leave?

Could you see it falling apart?

How could it miss my eye?

Did I raise it too high?

To let it easily fly

Or did it outgrow my heart?

Is this a new start?

The one I was longing for

But it’s not perfect for sure

The mud, the filth, the that…

The air feels lighter though

Didn’t know that leaves could glow

And that the grass could tickle

Is this a new start?

The one I was longing for

But it’s not perfect for sure.

[neelamkishabdvaahini]

What's for you...

"There is a grace in accepting also."

~Wise and Otherwise by Sudha Murthy

We have been taught from time immemorial that always have the hand to give. This philanthrophic philosophy; however, sometimes is misinterpreted. We think that we should accept only what we can give back. Really?

Let's analyze this at the emotional level. We all have different ways to express our feelings. We have different ways to express the same thing. If you go on reciprocating keeping in mind "how much", that's forced reciprocation.

There is a grace in accepting what's for you. A sudden kind gesture should not make you suspicious. Be happy for the good things. Don't try to find a reason for everything.

The universe has a lot in store for you; learn to accept it; learn to embrace it.

Giving back is important, but it should not harm your individuality. Give what you want to give. If somebody really respects and loves you, they would want from you a true version of you, and not a version of their own selves.

I greet the divine within you-“Namaste”

[thoughtkick]

“I like the night. Without the dark, we’d never see the stars.”

— Stephenie Meyer, Twilight

[thoughtkick]

“Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.”

— Unknown

[neelamkishabdvaahini]

So it's spring!

So, it's spring This hits a little different Differently magical This cold air of love That slow-flying dove These tiny adorned leaves Those natural sieves A dip in the blue A flight to the true A jump to the clouds A dance in the crowd So, it's spring This hits a little different Different and stimulant.

Spring equinox! Happy spring!