32 | Artist, Gamer, Singer | English & 日本語 OK | Fandom Blog | Minors DNI | Please don't use or repost my art. No AI training | Mind the tags | Yume (夢) / Self-insert prone, sry ;; I'm cringe.
This will be a bit of a big post with a lot to read, so I'm sorry in advance as I'm not the best at formatting. I'm not really intending to advertise myself around with this account, but this is basically another blog I made specifically to interact and post things under fandom tags and to send asks to blogs (I don't really care to send things under Anon). I do have an older blog that I used to do that with as well, but my interests have mostly changed over the years and people that followed me for some content, might not like other content I'm into, even if I remembered to manage my tags properly, thus I've made another blog. I'm not the best at staying openly active and honestly I'm kind of a shy and anxious person, but a small part of me hopes I can interact and share my art and thoughts with others over things I like, so please don't hesitate to message me, as long as you're comfortable ^^ Now, I could make an art sheet so I wouldn't have to type this all out, but honestly I'm pretty lazy (sry), so this will have to do for now.
Without further ado, my actual intro post lol.
Let's start with the simplified version. Hello, my name is Neffie. I like drawing, gaming, and singing, though I mostly do one of these more than the others lately. I consider myself a yume/self-shipper, which I know is not everyone's cup of tea, so beware lol. It's just for fun! I don't think of myself as 'serious' in this regard, but if anyone is ever curious for specific details about this for whatever reason, feel free to ask me about it. If you know me from other social media under a different name, hi lol. There's a chance I may sign my own art with my other handles, but if it's posted here, I'd like interactions to stay here. It's not about hiding or gatekeeping, I'm just keeping things separate for my own sanity. I'm not very good at talking/writing so I tend to ramble, such as in this post lol.... But more serious important stuff will be placed under 'Keep reading....' so please click on it and read on if you're interested!
To get a little personal, I will say that despite my age there is a lot of things I am learning about myself, others, and the world, so if my ignorance makes you uncomfortable, I'm sorry. Feel free to (gently) inform me thru asks and I will try my best to understand. I'm only human, and I am capable of making mistakes even if the anxiety of not fucking up eats me alive! That being said, I want to also lead this into admitting that I'm not entirely familiar with triggers, so please be wary as I may not properly tag certain subjects when they come up, but I would be happy to accommodate (within reason) if it's requested of me. This leads into my next point as well. As this is a fandom blog, there may be media I engage with that others may not be comfortable with for various reasons. What this means is that some media I engage with might contain problematic content. This does not mean that I endorse these types of morals, behaviors, ideas in reality. I believe that fiction is a means to explore these subjects in a controlled environment. I understand this is a big deal breaker for a lot of people, so if this sort of thinking makes you uncomfortable, please don't be afraid to block me.
I can't always extensively research everything about what I engage with. I don't do witch hunts. I don't do call-out posts. I don't like to engage with drama. That being said, I may be late to discovering if someone or something is truly problematic. When such a time comes, I will probably just quietly distance myself. I don't think I would delete anything personal in that regard, unless I felt that I was engaging in something truly harmful/hurtful. If I don't like someone's work, blog, posts, or personality for whatever reason, I will simply block and move on. I think everyone is allowed to do the same with me as well. Please take care of your own internet experience!
Okay, I know that was a lot and kind of serious, but it was all important, so thank you if you took the time to read all of that. I appreciate you! Once again, I'm terrible with formatting, so I'm probably gonna dive into just... random shit about me I guess. Maybe one day I'll make a more properly formatted introduction post for myself (with pics too!). One day.
Uh, what can I say... As this is a fandom blog, I will mostly engage with fandoms, I guess. Mostly following game devs and artists that are also involved in the same fandoms. To be honest, this blog was originally made because I got really into a certain game, which I will probably make separate posts about here in a bit. I love that game so much (I'm being vague on purpose ^^ ) that I ended up yapping/ranting about it with screenshots and theory posts for days to like, two people, who are completely uninvolved with this sort of thing, and I thought about organizing my thoughts a bit more publicly with potential insight from other fans. It seems fun! And scary! But mostly fun!!!! I'm nervous and excited, so I'll prob post that stuff soon, so look forward to it (or don't)!
I'm... kind of at a loss on what else to talk about here, so honestly it's not much of an About Me as it is just a ramble post as my first post on this blog. Nobody's gonna read this anyway so that's okay!!! Oh, I guess fun little fact about this blog: I made it about a week ago, but I think editing the html for the custom theme flagged my account for like a week ;; I contacted support, but they didn't really get back to me about it... I just... randomly decided to try logging in again today and it worked. So here we are! Yippee!! I will probably not be very active on here, but if we end up engaging a lot thru posts or smth, or are mutuals (idk how you'd even check for that on here) feel free to ask for my discord??? I'm always there.
This is a big jump ahead of schedule considering what Laly recently posted on her blog, so I will in fact go ahead and once again iterate that this will involve spoilers and speculations so turn back or proceed with caution!
To be a bit more specific, this is about RB, and speculations about his identity. Maybe some theories about BB as well. You'll see! Coming back to edit in post, other characters are mentioned briefly, but I won't be tagging them because their part is really small in comparison, sorry!
More under here!!
As of now, I'm not going out of my way to fill out the ship chart, as there's still honestly not much to go off of about his character. I'm sure we'll learn a bit more about him in Shift 3.5, or at least, how mc thinks about him.
I have to get it off my chest. The very first thing I noticed about the chart, was his name. It's scribbled out, of course, with Red written on the side, but if you look closely you can very barely make out a few strokes to at least imply the first letter is M. This is a big deal! And I may be crazy to think about this so quickly, because I poured the comments in hopes of someone else thinking the same, but I didn't see anything. Maybe people are holding back? Maybe they know and don't want to spoil this detail? I'm sorry that I can't help myself, so at least I'm doing it under my own blog. I hope you read the warning at the top!
There is another stroke towards the center of the scribble, a long straight line. And there's another somewhat interesting line stroke at the very end, also a straight line, but somewhat shorter than the previous one I mentioned. Now why are these lines so important? What do they mean? I'm sorry I'm just so excited idk how to just come out and say it.
My initial thought was his name was... Morkheim.
If this name doesn't mean anything to you, please go back and play Shift 3. Refer to Laly's guides for some secrets, because this is a big deal to me!!!!!
I will not be providing screenshots for this, because I want to preserve the.... sight? Feeling of seeing it yourself? Idk how to describe it, but I hope you understand what I mean. Anyway, let me get into what I mean and why I think this.
RB's identity has always been a hot debate. It's obvious he haunts mc, but why? The biggest theories usually boil down to whether he is or isn't BB. Now if you do recognize Morkheim, you would know that's the surname you see on the dog tags in BB's locker in Shift 3. I think he mentioned it's Norwegian, his father's, when you ask him. Does this mean RB is BB? Not necessarily. First, just because it's in the name field, doesn't mean it's his first name or surname or nickname or whatever. We don't really know any of that yet anyway. But... If I'm allowed to speculate, then it's still rather important. There's a story in the game that pops up across multiple shifts: A story about an owner who had two dogs, practically brothers even if not by blood. Even this story was analyzed and people tried to figure out what it could mean, who it could be referring to, if anyone at all, which characters it could relate to, or if it relates to multiple characters. I think it's possible that there's many stories that resonate with many characters within the game for different reasons, but that's a whole other can of worms for another post.
Well, what do I think, then? It's hard to say. I do think that it's very likely RB was a real person who is no longer around, so following that logic, I think he was a separate person from BB. But why share his last name? There's a few possible circumstances... Maybe RB was adopted into his family. BB claims to have a rather "normal" relationship with his parents, but the story about his father and the bear, and the strange comment about having to bear the weight of his father's last name... Maybe societal pressure deemed it so that his family needed an heir. When BB wasn't "good enough" in the eyes of his father, maybe they looked elsewhere.
Then here's my wack-ass theory that's completely out of pocket so idk y'all can ignore this I guess, but following that potential scenario, I can imagine that BB wasn't particularly loved if RB ended up becoming whatever his parents, or his father, may have wanted at that time. Maybe he couldn't bring himself to hate him, because why would he? RB did nothing wrong. He just simply, existed. But it doesn't mean it didn't hurt. So he left. He joined the US Army. And he never felt so lost and without guidance. And then he somehow got picked up by the garage owner (sry his name escapes me at the moment), gets his life together, barely, and tries to live in society. But maybe... he meets RB again. Why was he here? Maybe his duty was done. Whatever their father needed him for, he was no longer needed. Maybe RB rebelled because he felt it wasn't right. Maybe he searched for BB, and he found him. Here. In the US.
It's awkward as fuck, the reunion. They hadn't seen each other in years. BB didn't hate him, not really. Never did. But it was odd to see him here. Maybe he was already wearing that bright red racing gear. It was so different from back home. But that wasn't home anymore. RB takes the reunion in stride. He's happy to see BB again, whether he was really looking for him or not. They talk, or maybe him mostly. There's the bike that catches his eye. Maybe it's Scarlette? He teaches BB how to ride. He crashes pretty badly, not that either of them mind. The more BB rides, the more he feels the rush again. The thrill. Like he's alive. Almost like when he was in the army, but different. He wasn't seeing people dying around him. But the danger was always lurking.
Maybe they make a stop by the convenience store. BB has never really stopped by here before. Never really felt the need to. His meals at home were good enough for him, but RB insisted. It's late, well past midnight, but it's quiet, and BB doesn't mind the quiet. RB isn't exactly quiet himself, but BB doesn't always mind it. His eyes land on the cashier...
Now why the hell did I write a fuckin novel... 😔Writing's not really my thing... But anyway, you get my point right..... Maybe that's how they meet mc, at first. RB, being the more charismatic, extroverted one, was the one who was able to open up and approach mc first, much to BB's dismay. It's then up to popular debate if the traumatic event mc experienced involves violence between RB and BB or a crazy accident (a bike crash perhaps?). Or maybe it wasn't anything that 'dramatic' at all. But accidents, no matter how big or small, can affect people differently, so who's to say it wouldn't still badly affect mc this way, especially if someone still died in the end?
But then what of the paranoia? The stalking? The knife? The candles? The neighbor? It could be just that. Paranoia. It's clear that people call out to mc with less than savory intentions, and there was a post recently that analyzed the color red and how in a certain flashback involving Lane, his unsavory comment dyed his name red. I think there's heavy implications that BB is currently stalking mc, but there's no confirmation of any stalking happening before the game's timeline. With mc's memory problems, the trauma and paranoia, maybe it all mixed together to give her this big mix up of discomfort in everything. Unable to trust anyone. The knife was said to always be there, but maybe it really was always there, in that drawer. She thought she needed it, but maybe she really didn't. The candles? Her friendship with Amelia was only recently strained/broken off, so there's a chance that whatever traumatized/deeply hurt mc, she tried to help her cope. But Amelia isn't a therapist, there's only so much she can do, and if mc continues to spiral or eventually lashes out and chooses to mistrust even Amelia, then it wouldn't surprise me that Amelia would drop her in that instance. Why bother helping someone who doesn't want to be helped? The neighbor... That makes things harder, but if he's anything like Lane's neighbor, then maybe he has his own prejudices about guys in biker gear. Whether what he said was true or not, we don't know.
And then there's a chance that all of this is just way off mark, but that's just it, I'm just taking a wild shot in the dark lol. It was fun to think about at least! I'll have to go back and see if anyone has anything to say about his name, but feel free to let me know what you guys think or what your theories are as well. I'll leave it at that for now, and make a proper analysis and theory post at a later time! See you soon! :D
I woke up. Good morning. It's noon at the time of writing this.
As promised, I will continue where I left off and talk about Neffie and BB's ship chart and their dynamic together. This post will probably be shorter than the last, so I won't manually add a cut this time. :) As a small reminder, this post will contain spoilers, so please proceed with caution, or turn back now! Chances are I won't always make a warning for spoilers in the future, so beware.
Neffie and BB. I initially played BBD for him to be honest, and who can blame me. He's the featured yandere. The 'poster boy' of the game. I do have a weakness for characters that seem soft around mc, and being tall is a plus (not a must, of course, it's just nice! height difference is fun!).
Speaking of tall, their height difference is a whopping 41.6cm, which translates to an estimated.... 16-ish inches. While it's probably a pain for either of them to have to always crane their necks to look at each other, I think it adds to a couple of fun and maybe some embarrassing scenarios (see previous post, doodle with Neffie and BB). I explained it in my last post, but without having to repeat myself, I think it's a little funny to imagine how others would react to learning Neffie was older than BB even if not by much.
Nothing to add about Neffie's sexuality, because I don't think it would really bother BB in particular, even if he might not really understand it at first. And it would matter even less to him if they were together, because the most important thing would be they were together.
This is where you'll start to see the difference of Neffie's levels with BB compared to if she were with Lane.
Laly has stated that BB is a Dom through and through, which is a bit ironic for someone who claims to be looking for and preferring for someone to hold the metaphorical leash of his life. It's demonstrated in Shift 3 as well, but BB has the ability to step up and lead, and people respect him enough (at least at the garage) to listen. I assume it's also partly due to his size/height, but he might find it more comfortable to wrap himself around Neffie as the big spoon, an she'd be happy to oblige, as long as she doesn't overheat, and if he doesn't mind if she wriggles in her sleep sometimes. Maybe it would bother him if she kept bumping into him or slipping away, but maybe he'd simply find comfort with being close to her in any sort of proximity.
Neffie tends to prefer oversized clothes. It comes from a slight insecurity over her body. From the few clothes we've seen BB in so far, his clothes tend to be more fitted than actually big and baggy, but I think there would be times where if she were feeling a bit bold, she'd ask to borrow his jacket or a hoodie. Slightly off tangent, but irl I own a Hatsune Miku racing jacket (the unisex variety, because I don't own enough clothes to match the cropped one, as cute as it is), and it's kind of funny to imagine if this sort of design existed during this time, what BB would think of her wearing it. If she rode with it on, whether it was on his bike or her own if she ever learned how. I don't imagine he'd really understand anime, nor the appeal of it, but he'd probably just quietly accept it as something Neffie liked. He'd probably prefer if she wore proper gear for riding though.
Recently somewhat confirmed in another post within the community, we learned that BB tends to call everyone by their last name. I don't have a surname for BBD Neffie, but I tend to use 'Chu' when prompted, for no real deep reason. It's short. It's cute. It's funny to think of characters making a kissy sound if they have to refer to her that way. I think it'd probably be the same for BB as well, and he'd maybe avoid saying her name in general. Whereas a Neffie who is close with Lane is more likely to use pet names, with BB she's more likely to use his real name if she learns it and if he's comfortable with it. Otherwise, she'll just stick with BB, because it's easier to remember.
These two would probably find comfort in the silence together. The peace in sharing a space. Though I imagine that BB being more reserved than Neffie would make her come out of her shell more. As seen with Lane, if she's comfortable she'll talk more. She's the type to talk a lot about things she's passionate about sounds familiar and he's probably content to listen, or at least pretend to. She's not the best at conversation, but she tries as long as it doesn't feel awkward. BB might be mildly surprised or curious about whenever she has a sudden outburst of energy. If there's something that makes her laugh particularly hard, or times where she breaks out of the comfort of her routine.
I'm actually not sure how to read what BB's expression of affection is like in here, but I'm making the assumption that it means he expresses his affection quietly in ways that Neffie might not notice right away, if at all. Neffie would have to realize that earnestly expressing her affection to him is probably the best way for him to understand how she truly feels, especially after a long time of repressing her feelings in her youth. There might be times she might be left wanting for more from BB, but she wouldn't push him unless she was feeling particularly vulnerable.
Self explanatory, but so long as BB is willing to take care of the bug, she will just scream and cower and never have to lift a finger lol. She would probably try to explain herself even if she didn't need to, saying that she would leave it alone or mind it less as long as it wasn't in her space, but she can't help how insects make her skin crawl.
Why drive if BB is willing and offers every time? Though if she ever expressed interest in learning to ride a bike of her own, I'm sure he'd be very happy to help her learn and ride with her.
He can't cook for shit, but I don't think Neffie could bring herself to eat the same MREs or frozen foods as him all the time. Sometimes her mouth just gets tired of eating the same foods over and over again, no matter how delicious, so she needs variety. Maybe she'd offer to make food for the both of them. If time and money wasn't an issue, she'd make it with care, especially if it was a food that BB liked.
I'm surprised that BB likes PDA that much lol. Maybe not the type to initiate it, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind if Neffie wrapped her arms around his torso or looped her arm with his and laced their fingers in public. If she was feeling particularly bold and he'd let her, she'd love to sprinkle small kisses on his jaw after lifting his helmet a smidge, and then shrivel up in embarrassment girl make up your mind
I think she would appreciate knowing that he cares so much about her.... at first. If things followed the events of the game, like say, she had to get the keys to the store from Lane, and they got into a heated argument, I think she would fight back. Initially. But as soon as his words leave his mouth, it would stun her into silence, and she might internally spiral again. She finally stood up for herself again after all these years, but look where it got her. She'd be intimidated and scared, and she would immediately take it all back. It might be the unhealthiest aspect of their potential relationship. On the flip side, Neffie would also be somewhat be protective, but not very confident about it. She'd worry about his lack of protective gear when riding. She'd worry about his poor sleep or his eating habits. But how could she fight him on this? It would be a bit of an internal struggle of if she'd bring it up out loud in the first place, and if she managed to say it, what follows after. Would he listen to her? She knows he's capable of taking care of himself. She understand everyone has their own circumstances, but I think the worry would always be there. Maybe a lot would be left unsaid in the end.
Not much different from what's said in Lane's chart, but from what we know about BB, the difference between romance and sex with no feelings attached is very big. He hasn't been with another woman, romantically, but he has experience under the belt, and if he ever told Neffie, she would definitely be jealous. I think it would depend on how she found out or was told, but it would hurt her deeply. It would mostly be because she just wouldn't understand his way of thinking and she'd question her self-worth. But BB is loyal, and I think he'd make it known that she was the only one for him.
And finally, the 3 levels on the side.
Horny. This didn't change much between from Lane's, but I think since there's less provocation in comparison, she'd feel less inclined. She's somewhat prone to dirty thoughts, but never really feels the need to openly comment or act on said thoughts unless people were willing to listen and she was feeling brave lol. There's a time and place for anything, spicy times included. Not to say she wouldn't be opposed to some flirting with deeper implications, but she might end up biting off more than she could chew if BB decides to do something about it if they weren't home. :)
Awkwardness. Needless to say, them being both introverted and kind of timid changes how much it shows in Neffie in particular. She'd find it kind of charming in BB, especially if he tries his best to joke and talk with her anyway. She's a bit more awkward in return compared to when she's with Lane though, regardless of romantic involvement, because there's a clear difference in hobbies and interests, and she's not really sure how to interact with people that don't share in those things outside of just making small talk, and she's terrible at small talk lol. It would take time for them to get comfortable with each other, I think. If their relationship followed the pacing of the game (at least to mc's knowlege, about 3 days to maybe a week once the game is finished?) I think their relationship would be mostly driven by... physical attraction (nothing wrong with that!!). At least until we find out what BB's true connection with BBD's mc truly is.
And there you have it! As I mentioned before, Amelia's chart will be filled out once Shift 3.5 comes out and I play thru her route. As it stands, there's not enough info about her for me to judge properly, but I can't wait! I wonder if we'll ever get a chart for RB.... ? Maybe there's a reason there isn't a chart for him.... :) What do I know?
Despite having written this all out, the fact of the matter is, BBD is still in development. While Laly is quite active in answering asks and maybe hinting at certain things that others bring up within the community, the truth is we still don't know much about any of the characters. I've made these posts mostly for fun to talk about my mc/insert and the dynamic between the chars, but honestly I'm excited to learn more about everyone and the story the most. Is it too late to say that the Drunk route is actually my favorite? I'm a sucker for friendships/strong bonds that give 'found family' vibes, and that's kind of the impression I initially got when I went thru that route in Shift 3 xD It was fun, and cute! The dynamics between the characters themselves was so interesting, and I love seeing how alive everyone feels. There's a charm in how it feels like everyone has lives and has lives lives without the mc. And that's not even including all the small details, the hints and puzzles to the bigger picture hidden within the game itself. I'm genuinely so grateful to be living in a timeline where I get to experience this game.
Well, I don't want to mix up my posts, so I think I'll take a small break and think of how I want to write/format my next post. Likely, my next post will be going into a smaller analysis and some theories I have for the game. I say small, but only because I think I agree with a lot of what some people have already said within the community. There's a lot of posts out there that people have made where they've organized things better than I ever could, so I suggest y'all check the tags out and read for yourselves, because it's so fun lol. It's like doing an escape room or ARG together with everyone.
Anyway, if you sat thru yet another one of my posts, thank you again. I love you and appreciate you. :) See you soon!
Okay, I'm finally getting around to talking about the game that kinda pushed me into making this blog. Big Bad Dogs, or BBD for short, is a visual novel by Laly @where-spar0w-barks ( apologies for the mention ;; ) where the female protagonist works the night shift at the Mad Dog Convenience store in the good(?) ol' year, 2009. If anything, I'm shit at shilling things to people, so if you're curious enough, check out the links or search up the game and judge it yourself, be sure to heed the game's warnings! If you can stomach it, I think you might find it's a very thoughtful, detailed, well-made game. Though, honestly, if you've stumbled upon this post, chances are you already know all about the game and it's characters. I promise I will write my own analysis and theories somewhere as well, so look forward to that! Erm, if this post gets too long tho, maybe in another post! Sorry!!! But I will get to them!!! Warning, this whole post will be littered with spoilers, so please turn back if you don't want to see any of it!
I'm unsure on the direction I really want to go with this post, because I originally wanted a place to properly organize my thoughts and theories about everything that wasn't just my friend's DMs.... but maybe it's better to do another intro post? "But not for me..." Kinda. If this is your first time seeing a post from me, hi, welcome, nice to meet you! I'm Neffie. I wrote about it briefly on my first post on this blog, but if you don't want to read All Of Thatâ„¢, be warned that my blog will likely feature yume/self-insert/shipping. I know! It's cringe! But at least I'm free... I may consider myself a yumeshipper, but I promise I don't take it too seriously, as it's just for fun!
Anyway, let's get to it.
I'm.... genuinely too lazy to make a character sheet for myself. It sounds bad but hear me out. I call myself an artist but I've been fighting art burnout for about 5 or more years now. I can't just shit out all the drawings I want like I used to in my early 20s without some indecipherable guilt or unchecked pressure for it to be perfect (it's a personal problem. I promise I'm not bitter ;; ). That doesn't mean I can't draw ever, it just means that I tend to have very ambitious ideas that I can't always express and that deeply frustrates me to the point of giving up before I start. That's not to say this post won't have any drawings, cause I have some small doodles and sketches!! but hopefully making this blog and interacting with fandoms might bring back my drive again. We shall see. Sorry, I'm getting side-tracked again...
My widdle sketch. It's my first time drawing BB, and honestly I'm not confident in drawing men so forgive me :( I redrew his tits like, 4 times and I still think they need to be bigger.
My mc, which is just me lol, Neffie, but for the sake of fitting the game's setting a bit more, from a younger time of my life. While I don't think the specific age was ever mentioned, I think the default protagonist for BBD was said to be younger than Lane, who is 24, in a particular scene from the game. According to the ship charts provided by Laly herself, both Lane and BB are of the same age, with Amelia being two years older. For funsies, BBD Neffie (hi Ludwig, sharing ur color thx.... ) is also 26. Hmm... vaguely following the intro posts for the chars on the game page, then I guess Neffie's would be smth like....
Name: Neffie
Age: 26
Job: Mad Dog Convenience | Freelance Illustrator when I feel like it
Loves: Drawing, Gaming, Singing (sounds familiar...), Eating. Love rabbits, with a soft spot for cats and big dogs....
Dislikes: Rude people, Insects, Going out.... Red Probably other stuff, but thinking about them stresses me out.
I'll go over the dynamics of my mc with the characters as I talk about... the ship charts. :) Please forgive me, I lazily edited this, so there's inconsistencies between the originals provided by Laly and the one I'm posting here (curse u, multiply layer. curse u laziness). I'm going to be posting these separated by a gigantic wall of text, but so you guys aren't too shocked (if at all), I believe that a little similarly to BB, Neffie would adapt a bit depending on who she gets close to. So you will see a difference between a Neffie pursuing Lane vs a Neffie pursuing BB, and I'll explain my reasoning! And since Amelia's route is unfinished in Shift 3, I will hold back from making a ship chart with her until the release of Shift 3.5! I want to wait to give my personal judgement!
Under the cut!!
Oh... Lane and Neffie..... Maybe a doomed match. Actually, if I had my mc the same age or a little younger than Lane, I think it truly would be a doomed match. It would be toxic and ugly, end before it even starts, and no one would be happy... Putting aside Lane's supposed preference for 'milfs' or as he likes to proclaim, I think for my mc in particular, being older (tho not by much) would be healthier for the both of them. An older BBD Neffie would have a bit more stable mental maturity (tho not by much (2)) that could handle someone like Lane. She would still find him super annoying, but is less likely to shut down or run away and distance herself from him than the way I think a younger version of her would've done if he met her instead. She would be more patient and understanding, but she still has her own problems to sort thru so it's more like they're both stumbling thru their feelings together, so maybe they'll make it. Maybe. 28.6cm height difference is like what.... 11-ish inches? I always make my mcs small, because I am small. It is my curse to bear. :( Lane would absolutely make fun of her for it, and honestly it would grate her nerves, but she's probably also too tired to to fight him about it. Easier to hit him where it hurts anyway.
Not that I've personally researched it, but I don't believe Pansexuality was really talked about very much until around 2010. Or at least, the flag for it didn't pop up until around then. Basically, BBD Neffie is Pan, tho probably isn't opposed to being called Bi or even Straight (even if it weren't the perfect label for her, her mindset would be that it wasn't technically wrong, and it's easier to not correct people or have to explain it).
Okay, this post is really long and I haven't even gotten to explaining the rest of the chart yet (sry...) so I'll try to simplify it a little...
Being smaller usually defaults her to wanting to be the smaller spoon, but if they were close enough for her to learn his preference, I think she would indulge him sometimes as the big spoon.
Tends to wear oversized clothes herself, but not really the type to care to borrow or lend. Maybe if Lane insisted, she'd relent. If he lent his coat or smth... or that scarf...? If they were together, she'd prob just cling to him anyway to keep them both warm.
By default, Neffie is Introverted. By this stage in her life, I think she'd start to come to terms that she can't really force herself out of her shell at will. Working customer service would already be testing her already short social battery, so a quiet day at Mad Dog would be a blessing, even if it was a little boring. Not to say spending time with Lane wouldn't bring her out of her shell a bit. I think if they bonded, she'd joke (less crudely) and laugh with him a lot.
I think Neffie would feel a bit complicated towards displays of affection, because affection is just something she's not entirely used to on a deeper level. It would mostly be from repressed emotions from her own childhood, rather than any sort of traumatic event, so I think she'd still be able to bring herself to say sweet words towards Lane while being flustered and a little confused by his actions. There might be some inner insecurity because sometimes she would want to hear him say "I love you" back, and I think they'd probably get into small arguments over it, but probably nothing serious.
Weirdly, I think the more friendly and comfortable she'd get with Lane, the harder it would be for her to confess. But Lane being the type to wait, would mean she would inevitably be the one to say it first, tho maybe it wouldn't come out very straightforward.
Hates bugs. I'm honestly not sure if Lane would ever be somewhat mean about it to her, but if he ever teased and wouldn't squish a bug that was in their space, she would unhappily spring into action herself to get rid of it.
Thinking about that scene. Yeah. It's not really that she can't drive. It's that she doesn't like to, or want to. Unless the roads are empty, but even still. Happy to ride shotgun. Happy to sleep in the car too.
I think for the sake of the story (despite headcanons), like default mc, BBD Neffie would also be living alone. While I'm not sure what default mc's family life was like, I imagine that Neffie was detached enough to move out despite typical expectations that were expected of her. Taking reference from my real life circumstances, I imagine her mother wants to pressure her into staying with the family, her parents, to take care of them until they're no longer around, because she's the youngest of her siblings. But that's a big responsibility. She grew up a bit spoiled, but in a kind of detached way where not much was expected from her. She was the youngest, so she didn't have to do anything. Once she reached adulthood, there wasn't a gradual ease into it. It was expectations after expectations. And she didn't, couldn't, fulfill any of them. So she left. I think because of this, she would be able to understand Lane pretty quickly after visiting his apartment (Shift 3). Anyway, that was a lot to say that she never really had opportunities to learn how to cook. She tried a bit when she moved out, but money is tight, and she can't afford to keep making eating her mistakes.... But she's not hopless!! Just needs time to learn! And money.
Open to hugs and leaning if just friends, but might grow timid and kind of awkward at holding hands or kisses in front of other people. Not to say she wouldn't like it! She wouldn't really be the one to initiate tho. Might smack Lane's hand away if it starts to roam around though.
Might be hard to believe, but it used to be worse when she was younger. Acting like the 'mom' of the group of friends in high school often times ended up working against her. "You're no fun." She's tried to lighten up since, to remind herself that sometimes people can take care of themselves, but when she sees Lane, the instinct pops up every now and again. Maybe she would test the limits of how much she could say or do to 'steer' him in the right direction without being controlling, but she also wants to respect his autonomy. They'd probably argue a lot anyway though. He'd call her a nag, another mom or another Amelia and her mood would drop instantly (if relationship still poor with Amelia).
BBD Neffie has been in a handful of romantic relationships (if you count online dating as real relationships... tho she'd never tell Lane, prob), but has only been seriously intimate even less than that. Tends to take relationships seriously, and after the last one ended very poorly, she hasn't really tried since. A tiny bit tied into the jealousy level, but I think his advantage in experience would make her feel jealous, especially if he ever talked about it. There's more I wanted to put here in particular but my brain is kinda fried so I'll just leave it there for now.
And I'll briefly go over the 3 levels on the side. Because yes.
Horny. It's funny that I put Neffie's on the same level as Lane's because they express lust and desire differently lol. While the words may slip out intentionally or not on Lane's part, Neffie is almost definitely thinking about it. Just on the inside. Though knowing how observant Lane is, he'd probably be able to pick up on the subtle glances from Neffie whenever his pants start to sag too low, or when he greets her at his door without a shirt on (Shift 3). Or the "Oh my god..." when BB stands close by because honestly she's perfectly eye level with his tits--
Awkwardness. It would be higher on her own, but I think if they were on friendlier terms, Lane would notice he has the potential to coax a louder, somewhat social, unintentionally funny side of Neffie. She's not BB levels of so-awkward-it's-funny, but more like there's a repressed side of her that lies dormant behind the quiet, the tired, the maturity she masks herself with. He'd intentionally push her buttons to get her angry, or make her laugh, and when it gets too much she'd clam up and get quiet again, but I think he'd just take it as a challenge to find out more, and honestly she wouldn't completely hate it.
Jealousy. Okay this is slightly related, but I like to believe that if Lane and Neffie got close, that naturally she would get close to Ludwig as well. From what we learned from Laly, and the info organized by the lovely Neur @neurthewanderer ( apologies for the mention as well ;; ) that you can find in the big BBD QnA masterlist, if Ludwig can get over his nerves of talking to a girl, they would get along really well, imo. Maybe a bit too well. Maybe he would not be happy. I do think there would be more instances of Lane being jealous over Neffie being jealous. The opposite case would be if Lane was intentionally trying to make Neffie jealous, but she might initially express jealousy in a quiet, simmering way. I imagine if a scenario like with the woman in the garage with BB happened with Lane, she would pick the option to butt in, and I think Lane would like it. A lot. But knowing him, he'd be smug about it to her later, and Neffie would be back to looking at him like the portrait in the ship chart (it's her default look, it kinda looks like a resting bitch face) and regretting saying anything at all.
God okay that was extremely long.... And that was mostly talking about the chart... just Lane's chart. I still gotta yap about BB, and that's not even including talking about my thoughts on the game itself and my theories, and eventually the drunk route and Amelia's route, so let it be known that all of that will be in separate posts. Sorry lol. Also sorry again for the mentions above. I could always do the old @/ and honestly I might but only cause I'm shy do not perceive me!!!, but I felt it was necessary at least for the first time.
If you stuck around to read all of this, ur crazy. I love you. Thank you. I'll add a link to other relevant posts at the bottom when I get to them. I'll prob start typing the next post right after I sent this one out too if I don't pass out first (I'm eepy), so uh, look forward to that if you want. :)
