professional menace @negative-five-diopter - Tumblr Blog

The most beautiful phrase in the whole entire world. Is. What are they gonna do. Fire me?

funniest yet most enlightening conversation on this whole social media ban topic, by two girls sat across from me on the bus the other day:

"what do they mean by social media? does Roblox count? what about all the stuff I've built?"

"you'll be fine, doesn't your icloud say you're 34?"

"oh my god they're even banning Facebook. who the fuck is on Facebook"

apricops

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

shop5

let’s be real the pressure to use AI as an adult is exactly what they said the pressure the do drugs as a teenager would be like but the people that told us that caved immediately for the AI and definitely did not just say no

aurpiment

“It’s easy to assume”: someone’s misconception is about to be amiably corrected

“It’s tempting to assume”: someone’s assumption is about to be criticized

“It’s comforting to assume”: someone’s assumption is going to be read for filth

derinthescarletpescatarian

roadhogsbigbelly

i honestly don't really understand why "some people prefer watching gameplay online rather than playing games themselves" is treated as such a taboo when being a spectator is considered a pretty mundane way to engage with most sports, game shows, reality tv or even just like. chess.

kingcatnine

reminding everyone to wear sunscreen because the sun is a deadly laser: 😁😊

having to spend 10 minutes slathering yourself in grease just to safely be outside in the sun for 20 minutes. because the sun is a deadly laser: 😐👎

fella-lovin-fella

i hate it when people mistake "etymology" with "entomology." like, i know where they coming from but it still bugs me

penandinkprincess

parenting commitment level 3000

penandinkprincess

apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy

starsarefairylightsfornerds

aqueerkettleofish

When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."