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@neglected-damaged-graced
The caveat here is that it takes constant attention. Attention to my motives, my insecurities, my self-pity, my resentments, my sense of victimization and perhaps most of all, my sense of gratitude, just to name a few. (The word contentment could have easily replaced happiness here but I think a person can be content without being happy. And I want to be happy.) #happiness #intuition #insidejob #neglecteddamagedgraced
"A little. tongue and cheek" I will confess to another point. I am able to clearly see when I take joy in playing my old tapes. I even confess to taking a little sadistic fun from being able to shock the hell out people when they mistake my next level of kindness for weakness. Despite years of improvement my survival skills are still on point! (Just not all the time.) #innerchild #innerchildhealing #innerbrat #survivalskills
Unfaithful partners sometimes ask me how to be more faithful to their partners; I tell them to stop worrying about being faithful and just stop being disloyal. If you were loyal to your partner then you wouldn’t commit the act. Figure out how to be more loyal. That’s relatively easy. #faithfulness #faithful #trust #EmotionalIntelligence #healthyrelationships
Funny how such a fragile thing can create such a strong bond. neglecteddamagedgraced.com #trust #losttrust #loyalty
It’s OK to be one of kind or just different, because we are. That is what disturbs the haters. They just don’t understand us because they can’t comprehend what we’ve been though. Our inner toughness makes them question themselves. We must rest assured that we know what’s in our hearts and we have some of the biggest: Maybe that bothers them too. #survivor #abusesurvivor #traumasurvivor #healingjourney #neglecteddamagedgraced
Practice appears in many forms; therapy, religion, spirituality, study, self-discipline, etc… Whatever path we choose we must stick to it until it becomes habit. (Sometimes we have to change our environments too!) From what I've seen our new second natures may have once been our original natures which suggests they may be our actual defaults. Seems the world may have changed us. #change #growth #healing Neglecteddamagedgraced.com
Obviously, it's many different things to different people. Obviously I wrote a book about mine but what do you think emotional damage is?
#emotionalintelligence
#emotionalhealing
#emotionaldamage
The entire paradigm of existential psychology is based on a simple notion. "We feel the way we feel, because we think the way we think." (AN ENTIRE PARADIGM.) That paradigm has roots in nearly every other paradigm of psychology with the only real caveat being Behavioral Psychology (A group of people that have spent a lot of time and energy convincing themselves of something different, lol.) #happiness #betterlife #emotionalintelligence #youcanchangeyourlife #changeisgood #neglecteddamagedgraced
This is so important to understand when it comes to emotional healing and recovery from messed up stuff. If you really want to have a mental illness you can still believe you have one, but why would you? Ask yourself who benefits from you having one? Big Pharma? Is it a convenient excuse not to work on healing on our symptoms? We can all change but the good change is usually intentional. We have to believe that we can be different from how WE ARE! Mental illness labels keep us stuck. (Some mental health symptoms require medication for ease of management but they aren't necessary from everyone with those conditions.) #healingjourney #emotionalhealing #healing #HealingTogether negelcteddamagedgraced.com
This is an old meme but it serves to remind me every time. It was a big inspiration for me in writing the book at one time was going to be called "Scars On The Inside." Mostly because even after years of healing some of those stains were still there. Now I know their value but I can still see them. #traumahealing #neglected #abuserecovery
Self reliance is fundamental to a happy existence but please, if you have caring people around you let them help you. A little humility can go a long way too! Personally I love quizzing people about information I can use. I don't have to figure everything out myself. #happydays #bewell #youarenotalone
People who experience neglect and abuse as children distort this reality. They believe that since they weren’t good enough to be cared for properly that their worth is not as high as those that were cared for. This false notion allocates or relegates our self-assessment process to others; ergo, other-worth. Once that happens, OTHER people’s behaviors become the arbiter of our value. It’s a developmental misstep; the kind Freud suggested we have to go back and set right. I talk about these missteps in great detail in the book giving detailed explanations. It’s why I call the book an Autopsycholography. #neglecteddamagedgraced #neglectsurvivor #Codependency #selfesteem #selfworthjourney #healingjourney
This was standard practice in the house I grew up in. When you didn't approve of someone's behavior you cut them out, didn't acknowledge them; especially if they had something to celebrate. For many years I thought it was FAIR. Now I know that emotionally cutting someone off is only possible when I let other people dictate my mood. What it really is, is a resentment growing in size. #resentment #toxicrelationship #toxicfamily #EmotionalIntelligence
My belief is that you've already made it through the hardest stuff!!!
#yougotthis#rockon#BeTheLegend
I don't think any one actually wants to forgive their offenders. It's like doing so would somehow lessen the atrocity. It takes time and this is only the first real step. The damage they inflicted isn't about us at all. It's about emotional dysfunction and mental illness. It's what happens when we are too close to other people's untreated emotional scars. #neglecteddamagedgraced #neglected #traumahealing #AbuseSurvivor #HealingWounds
Personally I think we could all be a little more Graceful if we tried. I think we can all manufacture or make more GRACE by simply lightening up and taking things less serious. I know I can. I don't always want to but I can. Obviously giving Grace to those that harmed in the past is one of the biggest ways. NOTICE I SAID THE PAST, NOT THE PRESENT. Grace is not tolerating mistreatment. Often time GRACE is about letting go, not holding on. What do you think? #graceful #makegrace #letitgo #Forgiveness
Imagine how shocked I was realized it wasn't an accident or a sad twist of fate. When I took ownership of the result, it empowered me to change it, if I wanted too. I confess, there are times when my disappointment in others makes closing the gaps between me and them, seem not worth the effort. BUT I ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE NOW!
We aren't truly alone, unless we want to be. If you can identify with this post then you have proof that you are not alone. #yana#YouAreNeverAlone#choices