hello ...
this is going to be a real chill sideblog for friends & also to quarantine my obnoxious ramblings about the disaster tiefs. no icons, no worries, just an m t brain on overdrive. will follow from @withpromise
this blog is not spoiler-free

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@neinsided
hello ...
this is going to be a real chill sideblog for friends & also to quarantine my obnoxious ramblings about the disaster tiefs. no icons, no worries, just an m t brain on overdrive. will follow from @withpromise
this blog is not spoiler-free
lucien in the distance doing the taken monologue
we all acknowledge that the illusory caleb was doing the "i have the power of god and anime on my side" dance right
in another universe, we had more time
* @neinsided .
specifically, starter call for lucien and the nein's no good terrible adventures through the snow
“molly taught me how to read fortunes”
iii. caleb
CATCHING HIS BREATH IS A FEAT UNTO ITSELF JUST NOW. a challenge, to keep standing and listening, to stand so close to . . . well, not mollymauk. not lucien either, whoever that might have been. someone else — someone new. but they are back here again — in zadash, in the evening nip, drinking at the bar as they have before.
“ do . . . please do not think we are pressuring you to come with us. ” the words from the purple tiefling’s lips, after days of wondering what he would decide now that they have returned, are light and wonderful in caleb’s chest. but . . . he is himself, and he worries it will be too good to be true. “ we only — i only — want to help you. whatever that means. ”
hand over his heart, still as brightly tattooed as it was when he woke up, dirt in his mouth. the paper crinkles underneath his cloak reliably, used to the newfound motion he’s come to inhabit whenever something like this strikes. the first night, he had seen a moonless sky. dark. quiet. cold. he dreamed of silver whenever he laid his head to rest. silken clouds, dyed with the blue sky & a red moon in the lake. mollymauk breathes & he calms.
mollymauk——& he’s beginning to think he prefers just mollymauk. nothing after that. no last name. ❛ it’s not like that. think of it as——taking responsibility. ❜ there’s a hint of a smirk. a familiar pull at the lips & the muscle memory fills in the gaps. ❛ everything i know starts with you. ❜ he still can’t read, but he knows caleb’s writing as well as the patterns on the coat he still hasn’t gotten to courage to wear. they loved whoever wore that. mollymauk hums. ❛ i’d at least like to know why. ❜
sentences / starters taken from black widow : name of the rose, #3 & #4. feel free to change pronouns / tense as necessary. / part one. part three. TRIGGERS : espionage, death.
there are wolves in the night. the soldiers would say that, when i was a girl.
raising me on the battlefield because there was nowhere else to go.
there are stories about wolves and girls. girls in red. all alone in the woods. about to get eaten up.
tell me what big eyes i have.
you have been spying, [NAME]. i hear this, everywhere. i hear other things.
you have been spying on me.
if it makes you feel better, you’re not that interesting.
and i don’t have time to play.
why, [NAME]? when so many trust you?
you and i both know that any of us can be turned.
how many friends have betrayed us, [NAME]? how many does it take before we start arming ourselves with knowledge?
tell me i was wrong. tell me you wouldn’t do the same thing. tell me you haven’t already.
they say you have sold the information already. they say you conspire to harm your allies and friends.
that is a lie.
my life has been stolen from me, time and time again. i will not let it happen once more.
wolves and girls. both have sharp teeth.
i assume you arranged for discretion?
no one here is interested in trouble.
rest your heart. this will not last. nothing ever does.
you are one of the last who know me, [NAME]. that is a strange bond.
you forget so much. you forget them. friends. family.
you put aside what can’t be changed. like death.
a power play. proof that i’m vulnerable in ways that have nothing to do with flesh and blood.
yes… it is personal now.
he used to call you crazy. crazy dangerous.
let’s stick to business. my business. you, in my business.
i think i hurt you. poor [NAME] with pain in her eyes.
we all burn. we burn in fire. we burn in blood. we burn in dreams. and it never ends.
dreams never end. you would not want them to.
not if it means forgetting. you can never forget.
you, who are all that is left.
so, remember : we are born in fire.
when it hurts, you know you are alive. and you know that as long as you live, they live. and when you die, they die.
you are the inheritor of memories.
you and i both know how predictable you are.
i like to live dangerously.
while you… you just like to hurt others from a distance. i’ve always wondered if that makes you a coward.
well. evil enough.
you’re a baby compared to me. of course i’m bored. i know how this will end.
tell me who hired you… and i might just give you the antidote.
i will make sure you’re buries, [NAME]. nice and deep. unmarked grave.
you’re in my prison now, [NAME]. remember that the next time you come after my friends and their families.
killing people is easy. making them suffer is an art.
we’re both made of similar stuff. i just hide it better than you do.
i don’t know. yes. maybe. does it matter.
and if i offered myself up would you take my help?
whatever else we are… let me be your friend.
i’ll get it done. no matter how much i dislike it.
your eyes are older, though. your gaze. i suppose that is some consolation.
i never repeated what she told me.
you live a rough life.
it was years before i understood what you meant.
she was afraid you would forget what’s important.
you should stay here. they need you. you need them.
i remember that i helped ruin you.
specifically, starter call for lucien and the nein's no good terrible adventures through the snow
more misc memes
“ change isn’t easy. ” “ i just wanted to say i’m sorry. ” “ i guess being angry was/is just easier than being sad. ” “ what did you want to tell me? ” “ it was supposed to be simple. ” “ you’ve got blood on your shirt. ” “ you can stay with me. ” “ what did you want to show me? ” “ i miss ____ more than i thought i would. ” “ i don’t like to talk about it, but i wanted you to know. ” “ shut up. please. ” “ fuck off. ” “ hush, i’m trying to kiss you. ” “ you’re lucky you’re cute. ” “ i fucked up. ” “ i just want to take it all back. ” “ i can’t sleep. ” / “ can’t sleep? ” “ we should get a pet. ” “ if you have something to say, spit it out. ” “ i’m allowed to be angry. ” “ she/he aint even that cute. ” “ just hold me. ” “ do you want me to go? ” “ i just need time. ” “ i already made my decision, you’re not going to change that. ” “ nothing you can say will surprise me. ” “ everyone leaves, eventually. either they move on or they die. they leave and i’m left behind. ” “ death is a part of life. i accepted that a long time ago. ” “ i don’t fear death. i fear anonymity. ” “ listen to me, please. ” “ i’m not even sure what to say to that. ” “ that should probably shock me, but honestly it doesn’t. ” “ am i supposed to care? ” “ i do care. ” “ you make me happy. ” “ you look beautiful like this. ” “ if this is your idea of fun, i don’t know what to say to you. ” “ it terrifies me. ” “ just let me show you how i feel. ”
ii. caleb
LEANS FORWARD AND RESTS HIS ARMS UPON HIS KNEES, CRISSCROSS-APPLESAUCE UPON THE FLOOR. the inn is hardly the worst they have seen. hardly the best either. but the floor is clean ( mostly ) at least, and here they sit, the pair of them engaged in what is quite possibly the most useless activity caleb has done in a long time — weeks, months, years. but mollymauk insists, and he is a difficult devil to deny. and . . . well, now that they are here, now that he has begun to comb through caleb’s rat-nest of a head, it is quite relaxing. eyes flutter shut, breathing leveling out as molly tells his tales, weaving them together just as he does with caleb’s hair. he is reminded of his mother, then of astrid, then of wulf . . . then simply returns to molly, the touch and lilt of the words so precisely him that he cannot be reminiscent of anything or anyone else.
“ i doubt you will do a worse job than i manage for myself, ” he replies, a quiet, teasing whisper, voice more than a little sleepy. “ nowhere to go but up, ja . . . ” he bobs his head a bit, though not too much to keep from moving — to keep from disturbing mollymauk’s work. he cannot bring himself to wish any of this to stop.
this is one of the few things molly knows without a doubt is his own. he really doesn’t remember a lot. really, there’s barely any memories swimming around in his memory & if there is anything left inside him, it must not have a voice. but——but. his body remembers. the senses, his fingers & limbs & the very blood pumping through him hold onto memories far better than anything. they remember. they remember how to hold a sword, how to stand with two blades & how to call the power resting in his veins. his body remembers smells, tastes & sounds, perks up at familiar accents & makes him pause at certain faces, like he’s seen someone like them before. but this——this he had to learn from the ground up. this is his. just like the tattoos flexing with every movement, just like the cards in his pocket & the stitches on the coat——he owns this. not ... not whoever came before.
❛ there are other directions, you know. plenty of ways people can go, ❜ molly says. he starts on one side. pulling strands together & there’s not a lot to work with, but enough. he has a few extra silk flowers in his pocket to weave into the design. spruce him up a bit. it’s nice to be able to do this for people. ❛ are you falling asleep on me ? not that i mind because you look like you need more sleep than anyone i’ve ever seen, but it’d be nice if you could stay awake long enough to see what i’ve done. ❜
i. veth
IT’S HARD TO BELIEVE ( OR MAYBE SHE JUST DOESN’T QUITE WANT TO BELIEVE. ) that this new person cares at all; and a part of her is wishing that Mollymauk is still in there, somewhere; to no avail ー for it is pretty clear that Molly might not ever come back. It’s scary to think about the significance they might hold, the possibility they could be the reason for Wildemount’s life ー for Wildemount’s death. Lucien who is standing in front of her is not the same, extravagant but life-loving tiefling that they’d known and loved before ー and her wishful thinking overpowers the logical thought that the same face might be used to deceive them for his own gain. There is a murmur of a memory about their humble beginnings in a simple tavern in Wildemount, and the thought of a meal ー ‘ I mean ー there’s no ー you didn’t ー we’re not HUNGRY! ‘ A bout of frustration washes over her as she protests, and she plants her hands on her hips in an effort to seem serious ( Molly never seemed to take her seriously ー no, no, he’s not here anymore. ), eyebrows furrowed.
There were so many thoughts running across her mind ー why use them? Why come into contact with them? Would he do anything for this, was he so desperate to do this; unleash an unknown force upon the world ( she doesn’t think about Isharnai and her offer for the now-broken curse; to bring upon an era of war that would’ve killed so many innocent people, doesn’t think about her own personal desperation to be herself again. )? The name he says is unfamiliar in taste and the voice familiar all the same, like honey and venom mixed together ー and when he calls her Veth she is almost inclined to correct him: it’s Nott the Brave. ‘ You have a story, ‘ she repeats; sorry for not being the greatest conversationalist, Lucien, ‘ And this is proof you care about me ー care about us? I don’t see ー don’t really know what’s the relevance between that and us, really ー ‘ but her body language says otherwise; the interest, the step towards him, the quirk of a brow, and the pouting of her lips ー and she wants to hear it; hear any excuse for her to trust him like she’d done before.
perhaps it’s their gift to him——this memory loss. looking at these people now, seeing them before him, it’s easy to see why he might have travelled with them before. their expressions. oh. they felt for that poor mistake that happened to hijack his body for two years. even now, there’s a faint twinge. something pulling at his heart, coloured with honeysuckle & tasting of cheap ale. if he had been without direction, without the spearhead of purpose lanced through him, he might have liked that life. the easy life without the tether, without the responsibility lucien wears like a heavy cloak. had he remembered, it might have made things complicated, so lucien is glad for the ignorance. cree’s word is enough. their word is enough. lucien listens. takes a peek every now & then, catching snippets & names.
❛ well. you are hungry. just not for food——but the offer is still there of course. ❜ he shrugs, pulling his folk into position around him. they’re connected——willingly, of course. lucien had asked them before binding their threads together like red string on a board, pins right between the eyes. he can understand why someone might follow after a ghost in the snow. he’s done it a few times himself. remembers chasing after zoran who’d fallen prey to a wizard’s grasp, mind twisting against them. of course now that was hardly a problem. they shared some things. he had their eyes, they had his mind & the defenses granted to him. lucien stretches, sitting on the floor bathed in the blue glow of the crest above him. ❛ c’mon. sit. it’ll be an awful long tale, so might want to save yourself some aches & pains. ❜
the eyes on his body seem to shift. just slightly. ❛ you saw something, didn’t you ? now, don’t even think about lying because i see things too. i see a lot with mine eyes & there’s no shame in that. ❜ it’s just the barest shimmer, but he sees it. like little stars, strange & impossible & very much not of this plane. the same kind of stars that had cradled lucien in their maws, slowly piecing his shattered self together. he sees it, faint as the connection is now. ❛ that’s what drew my attention, my gaze. though, i’ll admit i was more interested in your charge——& i do want to thank you for that. saved me a spot of trouble & it felt good to finally dish out some comeuppance. but you’re here now & i’m interested in people who’d be willing to brave this weather just to see what’s up. so yes, i do care. yes i’m interested. you’re some very special people——not many get to see that splendour. ❜
Local clown repeats himself
sleeping under the cart in the pouring rain. it was nice, in a very, very weird sense. the outside world seemed muffled & with the rest of the team parked a little bit away towards the trees, there’s a real moment of privacy that’s not often available out in the wilderness.
❛ nott, are you still asleep back there ? ❜
STARTERS : @commaless
i. caleb / @hellesfeuer
CALEB IS NOT USED TO HAVING FRIENDS — NOT USED TO BEING THIS PERSON YET AT ALL. some days come easier than others; some nights pass well and smooth, some days barely showing signs that he’s ever been anything but this: a quiet, awkward, dirty wizard, a coward but nothing else. to some, that might not be better, but caleb is not those people — not a good person. usually, barely a person at all.
but these people make him think he could be — one day, perhaps — and nights like the last and mornings like this make it easier to pretend. maybe even wonder if it’s pretending he’s doing at all.
the barkeep brings the food to caleb and molly, sliding the much fuller plate before the tiefling, the small serving before the wizard. he sections off the bacon to the side, saving it for nott. “ i see you drank too much as well. ” another joke he won’t admit he tells, though this time the glint in his eyes and the tilt of his lips last longer. “ it has been a long time since i . . . behaved like that, ” he confides, taking a slow bite of eggs — small, barely any food on the fork at all. still, it turns his stomach; still, his mind tells him that it’s too much, more than he needs or should have. “ not much spare coin for revelry, you know. ”
the carnival hadn’t been a family. not quite. there was always a lingering tension which mollymauk can feel brewing in brief bursts underneath the surface with this group. & molly doesn’t think that’s what he’s looking for in this group——they just seemed like fun. molly likes fun. he likes interesting, strange, weird & maybe a little unwise because he has no use for being careful. the carnival took him places, but never anywhere forbidden. mollymauk wants the unusual. the secret places in the middle of lake, speculating about witch huts while hunting a devilish toad.
( * living on borrowed time. it’s not like he lives with that pinned to the forefront of his mind. it’s just in the back, somewhere. the thought that if the person before him could be so easily usurped then what did that say about him ? )
molly eats happily. food hadn’t been scarce, but it was almost like it had to relearn it. build back the memories & figure out which ones felt familiar & which were new. hearty tavern food felt like a luxury on occasion. like he was used to tougher foods. things like jerky & adjacent meals meant for harsh roads. ❛ one of the many benefits of traveling in a large group like this. more people who’d be willing to spare a bit of their funds. ❜ there’s an arched brow. an invitation, if caleb wants it. mollymauk doesn’t really care about gold, in all honesty. he knows he tips people too much & hands it out without counting, but it’s just gold is the thing. oh, he knows the price of indulgence & he’ll happily save up on luxuries like trips to the spa, but he’s not so tied to the material. the experiences are where it’s at. ❛ & of course, one of the benefits of traveling with me is that i never miss out on a chance for revelry. if you’re willing, we could have a lot of fun together, you & i, mister caleb. ❜
darling, you know better than to trust a pack of cards
i. caleb
It takes a moment for Caleb to notice the gentle buzz of his cell phone —- buried, as it is, somewhere in the shelves above his head, neglected on purpose as he’d buried himself in the day’s quieter work. Even if it is somewhere around the size of a glorified broom closet, he has tried to carve out his own office in the small apartment, and it is often the closest he will ever get to a sacred space — somewhere relatively undisturbed, where if Veth crashes on a night, or Beauregard lets herself in with the spare key, that if the door is closed, he is mostly left alone until it cracks back open.
That being said, buzzes from inside are not unheard of, and it is curiosity that gets the better of him —- that pushes his chair back from the narrow, wobbling desk, and pushes his hand up to the crowded bookshelf above, make-shift from the thrift store but doing, at least until he’d heard it rattle so many times in a row now with the phone’s vibrating, just fine. Something to ask Beau if she could lend a hand with, perhaps, and that note is now tucked in his mind for later. It isn’t Beauregard — she would be at work now, though that hardly stops her from texting him while she’s there on occasion — whose messages come through, still, but rather an insistent patter of long messages from Mollymauk.
There’s a slight crease between Caleb’s eyebrows as he types, rubs palms against his jeans before looking out the small window. Frost. Hmm.
[ SENT: Mollymauk Tealeaf ] You are sure you didn’t lock him out? It sounds as though you might as well. [ SENT: Mollymauk Tealeaf ] I am working from home today. I cannot promise that Veth will not stop by, but you may “leech” off the heater if you do not bring any of last night’s visitors. [ SENT: Mollymauk Tealeaf ] There is no cocoa here, though. I believe have baking chocolate left over from the last time Jester was here, but that is a… bit bitter for that. There may be some of Caduceus’ tea in the cupboard.
mollymauk smiles at the messages & he’s already feeling a little better. he’s——usually not left to his own devices. everyone’s busy. molly’s usually busy himself, but he finds himself with pockets of time every so often. he works a lot of odd jobs. floats between storefronts & uniforms, never quite settling. outside of work, molly tends to be the inciting incident for a lot of their meetups. he hangs out with jester on a regular basis & it’s not strange for him to pop in wherever yasha happens to be if she’s in town. if he’s not terribly bored at work, he’s usually terribly bored at home waiting for fjord to come home to pester or inviting his own company inside. & he could do that again, honestly, but he likes his friends. they can have much more intimate conversations & it’s more fun that way.
[ SENT : 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚐𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚝 ] ive only done that once i’ll have you know but you know what fair assumption. we never hang out just the two of us dont we i should bring something fun maybe. but you’re working aren’t you and you’re the only person who’s no fun to pester when you’re working because i feel bad which usually doesn’t stop me but you know i can be a considerate decent person every so often
he moves through his room, pulling on some clothes. snug joggers, a crop top because he has to & he looks hot which must balance it out with the fact that he’s exposing himself to the cold, one of yasha’s cardigans that he’s stolen & a big coat beau bought him after losing a bet. he’s wrapped up in layers by the time he stops hemming & hawing over actually going outside to brave the winter air. he hates the cold with a passion. but the promise of company is enough to pull him outside.
[ SENT : 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚐𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚝 ] im absolutely going to steal caduceus’ tea and commit several sins while brewing it i’ll be there in a bit thank you so much caleb do you want anything while im out or should i just bring my fabulous self