This blog is an offshoot of a series of posts started on my main account. It is run by me, @asterixcalibur, in association with Happy Lab Accidents on @cabletwo. I'm an artist and funny person by trade, but a biologist by tragic BDGilbertian retribution.
The goal of this project is to identify all of Neopia's unique species, categorize them by kingdom and region of origin, and find an ideal specimen for each that can be put into a natural history museum (my gallery on Neopets). As of writing, the project has identified over 2000 unique species of Neopian wildlife.
Our main methodology is scouring item descriptions for helpful information. This process also involves researching and standardizing the taxonomical, ecoregional, and evolutionary timeline terminology of Neopia.
Longer term goals are to obtain the ideal specimen of every identified species for the museum, and renovate the museum into a simulated museum experience through careful application of visual assets and CSS/HTML. Maybe one day we can shoot for the Gallery Spotlight?
On Neopets
My account on Neopets is classypotassium. Feel free to ask to be NeoFriends -- just tell me who you are here!
The Neopian Biological Sciences Natural History Museum itself is here.
Neopets.Com - Virtual Pet Community! Join up for free games, shops, auctions, chat and more!
Ways to Contribute
1. Donate a specimen
If you'd like to donate or loan a specimen to the museum, contact me so we can discuss attribution and collateral!
The gallery's JellyNeo wishlist is here. It will be continually updated as specimens are identified, so consider it a work in progress. As of writing I also haven't checked anything off even if it's been obtained, so double check the museum before offering donations!
Wishes for: classypotassium
2. Donate Neopoints
You can also "donate" by buying a Plushie Fungus from my shop! These are intentionally overpriced so that the change can be considered a charitable donation.
Neopets.Com - Virtual Pet Community! Join up for free games, shops, auctions, chat and more!
3. Interact here!
A lot of the posts that end up here are going to be asking for people's thoughts on origin, kingdom, uniqueness, and so on, through polls and direct questions.
You can also submit items, images, links, art, specimens, fossils, documentation, scientific papers, primary sources, etc. and so on, for consideration by the Project!
You don't need to know anything about Neopets to put in your two NP (or cents USD). In fact, sometimes it's better to get a perspective grounded in normal Earth biology, because, speaking as a biologist here in Neopia, I can very well say oh ym god please help ohhhh my god you don't even know
Conclusion
You don't need to be into Neopets to enjoy or contribute to this blog; I'll try my best to write posts so that they can be enjoyed by anyone aware of but not necessarily into Neopets. In my experience, explaining Neopets to someone entirely unfamiliar with it is always fun. This shit runs deep, dark, and as spaghetti as its code. Best part of Neopets, to me, is that the site rewards you for exploration, and some of the most consequential but by far weirdest lore can only be found by happening upon a page six links deep into a chain of site features that have gone untouched since 2009, as part of a philosophy of interaction that runs the entire site and is entirely against modern website design principles.
i got the random urge to start recreating food from neopets. this one actually would’ve been good if i had used a sugar cookie instead of a pizza crust. kiko approves
It really is so hard to explain to non-Neopets players just how unhinged the site's lore can be even in the most unexpected places and you can be an ancient player and still learn new things
I'm looking through the new Petpets section on Jellyneo's Book of Ages and most of the information about each species is fairly normal
Or adds a bit of fun flavor/lore to other parts of the site
but then you get some absolute gems like these
(apparently only one Spoppy III exists on the entire site. Fascinating.)
And then there's a concerning amount of entries that imply a lot of Petpets are, in fact, about as sentient as Neopets. What do you mean these guys have their own units of measurement.
It's all bonkers. Crazy messy Neopets worldbuilding my beloved
One of these days I’m going to be bored enough to act on the idea I’ve had for over a year now of creating a spreadsheet to categorize every single neopets morphing potion by what the description says each one tastes like. This would be an extremely time consuming and pointless task that’d be slightly interesting to maybe 4 other people. Every time I consider starting, I talk myself out of it because literally anything else would be a more productive use of my time.
Did you know about the teardrop tattoo meaning the wearer killed a man while designing the Slorg? Because the Neopets fandom has been having a blast wondering who the Slorg killed
of course i knew that.
was it man or beast? I wouldnt ask any more questions, or else!?
Hot fries with a delicious topping of red... oh. Oh dear
This recipe actually is chili cheese fries. With fake cheese. And optional fake meat. I cooked some impossible meat with the chili sauce. I didn't include it in the final picture, but I added it after and it was very filling.
It's otherwise a low-spoons meal. You need:
Frozen fries
This simple chili sauce recipe with pantry staples
Shredded cheese, real or fake
Optional meat (or fake meat)
Recipe
Bake or air fry your fries. Assemble and heat the chili sauce. Cook your meat in chili sauce if you want more protein.
you can find the link to the blog post here: https://portal.neopets.com/news/aug28-neopets-community-survey
all participants will get a NP prize, and 10 users will have the chance to win a magical rainbow aisha plushie!
even if you're not interested in the prize or the giveaway aspect, i think everyone who has the time should fill out this survey. they're clearly taking some aspects of community feedback to heart, so make yours known!
Altadorian food has its own distinct, unmatched flavour!
This was a labor of love. Greek style Bolognese with a butter sauce. I dehydrated tomatoes for the filling. I hand kneaded the pasta with an aching back. My pasta roller is amazing and saves much labor, but it is still work! And it all cumulates in a terribly bland picture.
I also used 3 recipes without altering much, so the sources are as follows:
NYT’s Pasta Dough
Greek style Bognese for filling
Butter sauce
I cooked this for 4 hours and this was my best photo. It’s a lot of beige!
Shitty Photo
I’m on muscle relaxers for back pain. This recipe needed to be done over 2 days.
Homemade ravioli is a lot of work, but it's always worth it! I goofed the butter sauce, and it didn't emulsify. Honestly, a sprinkling of parm and some olive oil are enough!
A delicious lunch time treat before a big Christmas dinner!
I pumped this one up to a hearty dinner by turning it into a filling lgbt+ (lettuce, guac, bacon, tomato, +urkey) wrap. I tried adding in longer toes for the naan I made, but they fell off :(
