Exploding Brains

It's another method for someone else on the Internet to steal my identity!

[wwe]

After a hectic #WWETLC Sunday night, this #GIFBattle spotlights AJ Styles and Nikki Bella! Which sequence wins it: #ThePhenominalOne or #Chillout? 

[nerdhapley]

I dunno, man. Maybe learn to spell phenomenal for your hashtag?

[calamityjon]

Do you remember how shows like Mad Men and Breaking Bad started off as condemnations of institutions, ideals and culture that were predominantly toxic, capitalist, middle class, and male? And how their lead characters were men who were portrayed as being unable to process the disappointments of misfortune, and acted out, capitalizing on the privilege afforded them by the loose social constraints around their behavior? And how they caused untold amounts of misery all around, particularly for the subordinate partners in their relationships? But you remember how, despite that, loads of young men with loads of disposable income started idolizing the cosmetics of Don Draper’s and Walter White’s behavior, and emulated it? And they dropped a small fortune on memorabilia and merchandise? And then how that apparently influenced the marketing of these shows, particularly since these were boutique programs on cash-strapped basic cable programs and they needed to exploit the opportunity? And how that evidently began to influence the creative directions of these shows? Like, either the network was guiding the show with notes, or that the creative staff began buying into the marketing fable? And then the shows ended up draping these characters in valor, who were otherwise built to be wretches, and turned them into tragic, fallen nobility? Remember that? How these awful human beings were turned into anti-heroes because a bunch of insecure nitwits were so loud that they totally corrupted and hijacked the narrative? Remember?

I can’t imagine what brought that to mind today.

[nerdhapley]

The Evolution of The Undertaker

- Western mortician accompanied by a red-faced evangelist

- Western mortician with some tattoos accompanied by another mortician

- Undead grave digger with some tattoos accompanied by a mortician, powered by an urn who must defeat his own imposter who also has occasional cosplaying minions in the crowd

- Undead grave digger with some tattoos accompanied by a mortician, powered by an urn which was stolen and melted down by a street fighter employed by a wrestling millionaire

- Undead grave digger with some tattoos, wearing a concrete mask, accompanied by a mortician

- Undead grave digger with some tattoos who stands alone after betrayal by an out of shape mortician who stole his urn-shaped power source

- Gothic Lord of Darkness with perpetually greasy hair and lightning powers

- Gothic Lord of Darkness who burned down the family funeral home where the out of shape mortician worked, killing his parents and brother

- Gothic Lord of Darkness who refuses to fight the horribly scarred but alive brother who had accidentally burned down the family funeral home where the out of shape mortician worked, killing their parents

- Gothic Lord of Darkness with a horribly scarred half brother via his mother and the out of shape mortician who burned down the family funeral home, killing their parents

- Gothic Lord of Darkness in collusion with his horribly scarred half-brother and his out of shape mortician father

- Minister of Darkness, accompanied by a mortician, who murdered his parents in a fire that also horribly scarred his half brother

- Minister of Darkness accompanied by a mortician, a pair of demonically possessed former football players, a morbidly obese peacekeeping rapper, a pig farmer, and a trio of vampires that takes orders from a Higher Power and crucifies friends and enemies

- Minister of Darkness that embarks on a corporate merger with his former enemies after kidnapping the boss’ daughter and almost immediately disbands after fighting a Union called UPYORs

- Goth dude in denim who forms an Unholy Alliance with a giant that keeps screwing up

- Patriotic biker who really likes Kid Rock and Limp Bizkit while occasionally teaming (and fighting) with his horribly scarred half-brother

- Patriotic biker with his wife’s name tattooed on his throat who destroys her stalker and other invaders from his boss’ former competition

- Short-haired biker who is a jerk to younger guys by calling their collective workplace his Yard and employing the nicknames Big Evil and Booger Red

- Biker who kind of does MMA for funsies whose boss employs his mentally ill and not scarred at all half-brother to help bury him alive

- Undead western Saint of Killers accompanied by a very out of shape mortician whom he later claims is a liability so he murders said mortician by burying him in cement

- Undead western cowboy that remains undefeated once a year at an annual event and only competes sporadically otherwise

- Undead MMA fighter whose pyro sets him on fire and is betrayed by his mentally ill half-brother and his half-brother’s miraculously alive mortician father

- Undead Templar Knight having an increasingly tougher time remaining undefeated at an annual event, which is the only time when he competes

- Undead zombie seeking revenge against a straight edge punk for the honor of his half-brother’s now for-sure dead father

- Undead zombie MMA fighter cowboy who lost at the annual event where he was previously undefeated

- Undead zombie MMA fighter cowboy who fights mystical swamp hillbillies that try to steal his lightning powers but nah not really

- Undead zombie MMA fighter cowboy who keeps punching a former UFC Heavyweight Champion in the dick

- Undead zombie MMA fighter cowboy who fights the boss’ 45 year old son at his evil boss’ behest with his career on the line for some reason

[thechrishaley]

DANIEL. BRYAN. FOREVER. #ThankYouDanielBryan

[jacksonpublick]

Season 6 billboard art by the great Patrick Leger

[nerdhapley]

1/31!!

[pope-vampiro]

Really the only correct way to respond to someone using the term “lazy millenials”. 

[nitrofans]

90s moms love Chris Jericho

[batmananimated]

kane52630 got the answer right away. It was “The Cape And Cowl Conspiracy”. 

Now a tough one… no cheating, please! To what episode does this belongs to?

[nerdhapley]

This is the one where Phyllis marries Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration.

[brevoortformspring]

Can you explain why Marvel thinks that doing hip hop variants is a good idea, when absolutely no announced writers or artists on the new Marvel titles, as of now, are black? Wouldn't correcting the latter be a much better idea than the former?

What does one have to do with the other, really?

[iamdavidbrothers]

Hi Tom! I hope you see this before it goes viral and you tune out the replies. I may be too late.

The short version is here, in Whit Taylor’s “The Fabric of Appropriation.” The long version:

Killer Mike, a rapper I grew up listening to and who Marvel recently paid homage to with the Run the Jewels variant covers, once said, “Closest I’ve ever come to seeing or feeling God is listening to rap music. Rap music is my religion.”

I can relate. A few years ago, I found myself in Tokyo for work. I don’t speak Japanese, but that didn’t stop me and my friends from running wild over the city for a few days. One of my favorite experiences—a cherished experience—was when I ended up in Shibuya looking at shops. I found a streetwear spot that was down some stairs and around the corner. It didn’t look like a streetwear shop from the outside, but the signage and windows had a vibe, so I stepped in.

Inside were a couple customers and two shop workers. I was the only black guy in the room, and it was small, so I shopped quickly and went to check out. The clerks didn’t speak English, but they definitely spoke hip-hop. They saw my shirt, a riff on Nas’s “Illmatic” cover, and we bonded over one of the greatest rap albums of all time, kicking favorite lines back and forth. I paid and left, richer for the experience. We connected because we’re part of the same culture.

I say this not to brag, but to emphasize this: I’m squarely in the target audience for the rap covers you’re homaging, and I know first-hand how incredible rap music actually is.

Rap is worldwide, but rap is black, too. There’s white in there, and where would rap music be without our latin brothers and sisters, but in terms of perception, coding, impact, and legacy: it’s a black art form. Undeniable, like saying “Midnight Marauders is the best A Tribe Called Quest album.” (That’s a rap joke, too.)

One issue with Marvel publishing hip-hop-themed covers in the wake of not hiring black creators is that…a dialogue goes two ways. Axel Alonso said Marvel has been in a long dialogue with rap music, but that isn’t true. It’s a long monologue, from rap to Marvel, with Marvel never really giving back like it should or could. Break the Chain was decades ago, you know? (I did appreciate the Aesop Rock shout-outs in Zeb Wells & Skottie Young’s fantastic New Warriors from way back, however!)

One has to do with the other because of optics. If you don’t employ black creators, and then you purport to celebrate a black art form for profit (and props on hiring a few ferociously talented black artists for the gig!), people are going to ask why that aspect of black culture is worth celebrating but black creatives aren’t worth hiring. I know how many black writers Marvel has hired and allowed to script more than two consecutive issues of a Marvel comic. Do you? Do you know how many black women have gotten to write for Marvel?

Or, more directly: Storm is the highest profile black character in comics. Which is great! But…she’s mostly been written by white men, and a very small fraternity of black men, throughout the decades. Imagine what a black woman could bring to the character. Shouldn’t a black lady get a chance at bat? I grew up on Alison Sealy-Smith, and I’ve got a soft spot for Halle, but there’s a gap there.

Back to optics: you can’t celebrate and profit off something without also including the group that you’re profiting off the back of. Marvel has made a lot of money off brown faces. A portion of X-Men’s juice is from the struggle for civil rights, and we all know what the phrase “black Spider-Man” has done for the perception of your company. (He’s Puerto Rican too, tho.) So to see Marvel continue to profit off something very dear to black people without actually giving black people a seat at the table…I was going to say it “stings,” but in actuality it sucks. It makes Marvel look clueless and it makes black people wonder why they bother with your comics.

Whit Taylor’s “The Fabric of Appropriation” went up this week. It’s a measured look at cultural appropriation, both why it happens and how. Her last point (which I’m going to spoil, forgive me) is that “maybe it’s not so much about who has control over a design, but whether the people it originates from feel in control of their identities.”

With these hip-hop covers? You’re in our house. (“Whose house?”) These albums changed lives, provided the soundtrack to our youth, or maybe just sounded really nice with the bass cranked and the treble at half on the EQ. To claim you’re paying homage (for profit, with no-doubt rare variant covers to be sold at a mark-up to an audience that often does not include the people these albums were created by) while simultaneously not being willing to hire the people who could bring those concepts to your comics in an authentic fashion…the optics are bad, man.

Jay-Z once said, “I came back and it’s plain, y'all niggas ain’t rappin the same. Fuck the flow, y'all jackin our slang. I seen the same shit happen to Kane.” He was talking about biters, aka shark biters, aka culture vultures, aka cultural appropriators.

If you’re going to homage hip-hop, do it in the best way possible: keep it real and put some people of color behind the pages in addition to on them.

“Protons Electrons Always Cause Explosions.” Thus spake the RZA, whose favorite Marvel superhero is the Silver Surfer.

Peace.

[breakthecitysky]

Obit of the Year.

[wcwworldwide]

Terminator Rey Mysterio - AAA Verano de Escándalo [June 14th, 2015]

An amazing look at an attire Rey debuted last Sunday at AAA’s show in Monterrey, Mexico. Similar to how Paramount Pictures partnered with the WWE for cross-promotion at WrestleMania for their upcoming Terminator Genisys film, AAA had their own Arnold Schwarzenegger vignette filmed complete with a T-800 exoskeleton lowered onto the entrance ramp.

According to Konnan on this week’s MLW podcast, Rey Mysterio will also be on-hand to present Arnold with his own Mysterio mask at the Terminator Genisys premiere in L.A. on June 27th.

[nerdhapley]

Pentagon Jr. gonna be jealous…

[headofrothchild]

[queendirectory-blog-deactivated]

the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?

[miracleyangwenli-deactivated201]

one thing i love about @dril posts is how they all seem to take place in a universe that is somewhat like our own, but with the habitus of white middle america taken to a bizarre, absurd, but strangely logical conclusion. take this one, for instance: 

so we have our setting: a security guard protecting the american flag in the betsy ross museum, something almost archetypically american and middle class. but once again the first part, or setup, for the punchline, “fucking the flag,” careens the joke into an alien punchline that still, given the setting, makes sense. @dril’s security guard character imitates a sort-of cop-talk, the banter of a security guard, “buddy, they wont even let me fuck it”. you can imagine a similar response from a guard at any museum, but we’re talking about Fucking the American Flag, here.  i really love @dril. 

[queendirectory-blog-deactivated]

it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril​ tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”

[solarsquared]

This is my favorite post, I am so glad I found it again.

[inthedisposalwithphasma]

“Dusty Rhodes was the most public expression about surviving in the Reagan 1980s: a Jonathan Kozol book in tights armed only with a sharp tongue and a bionic elbow. Remembering this Dusty Rhodes matters because the historical amnesia about the Reagan years has been so total. An extremely well-funded right-wing campaign has whitewashed the truth of the era: that Ronald Reagan left a body count of victims due to an indifference as callous as it was calculated. The Reagan backlash spared no one, least of all industrial workers: the people who worked with their hands and sent children to college on a single union wage, without student loans. It sounds like another world, and it was: a world that Reagan’s agenda—with no small help from congressional Democrats—destroyed. Dusty Rhodes was the voice of the person getting crushed under the weight of Reagan and keeping his head held high, dignity not only intact but non-negotiable. No, he wasn’t a labor leader or trying to do any kind of protest. He was a voice: a fake character with an authentic presence, fighting in the ring for the people being left behind. This was seen most famously in what is known as his “Hard Times” promo.“

http://m.thenation.com/blog/209793-irresistible-realness-dusty-rhodes (via mlle-pompadourz)

[secretdumpster]

[ramonvillalobos]

Did a tribute to one of my favorite wrestling families.

[ramonvillalobos]

RIP Dusty Rhodes

[nerdhapley]

[thealaskanhero]

Wrestling, Representation, and... Ahmed Johnson?

I’ve been thinking about the New Day vs Prime Time Players and Ziggler match since it ended, last night. Five black wrestlers with characters beyond gross, simple-ass stereotypes, wrestling each other to further a tag title feud? 10 year old me would be absolutely losing his shit seeing that match. 

You see, when you’re a young black kid, you start to notice how none of the people in the media you consume “look” like you. The realization that you are the “other”, while a little painful, doesn’t necessarily hurt your ability to enjoy a product - I still loved the hell out of pro wrestling - but you do tend to embrace whatever you’re given. I mean, when I was ten, back in ‘96, there wasn’t a whole lot to pick from when it came to black wrestlers, especially if you had never even heard of WCW. Ahmed Johnson, kinda-sorta Rocky Maivia, and I guess Farooq, that was about it. I remember getting super excited about both of the latter two dudes, Ahmed Johnson a lot more than Rocky. Yeah, in retrospect, Ahmed Johnson was garbage in the ring and not much better out of it, but he was mos def 10 year old Alaskan Hero’s jam. I had a tape of a tournament Ahmed Johnson won during a tour in Kuwait and I remember watching thing dozens of times. Dude was big and strong and cool and would team with Shawn Michaels. He defended the IC title again all comers, dropped dudes with scissor kicks and Pearl River Plunges, the crowd going wild for him, and he looked like me. 

Saying “representation matters” is kinda cliche, but it is absolutely true. When you’re a kid and all your media features people who absolutely look nothing like you, that combo getting broken by someone who DOES look like you is HUGE. It’s the kind of thing that can change your life and the way you see that thing. After I saw Ahmed Johnson, I started dreaming of becoming a pro wrestler. Had I grown up with Hall of Pain-era Mark Henry on my TV every week, who knows what might have happened? 

The treatment of black wrestlers today still has a long way to go, but seeing the Prime Time Players and The New Day tear it up is a step forward. And just as Ahmed Johnson changed the way I felt about wrestling, maybe there’s a brown or black kid who watched that match last night that are starting to dream now.