Nerds of Only Connect

The contestant introductions on Only Connect are amazing and must be preserved for posterity and/or any anthropological studies of nerdom.

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Jon Stitcher, a philosophy graduate who left a career in banking to become a full-time poker player.

Ben Holmes, a customer services advisor who enjoys films about sharks and was once sat on by a horse at a local summer fete.

Amber Marshall, a substance misuse specialist who once had a pet budgie that could dance and sing to Madonna’s “Vogue.”

Everything is Greek to them but in a good way – they are the Athenians.

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Chris Pendleton, an artist and picture framer who is commissioned annually to paint a picture of a pig for Britain’s leading sausage manufacturer.

Nick Patterson, a microbiology and virology graduate who enjoys running, playing squash, and punting.

Ned Pendleton, an expert football gambler with a degree in maths who is fascinated by remote islands.

United by a taste for travel, they are the Road Trippers.

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Duncan Enright, a town and district councillor and school governor with a yellow belt in karate.

Dave Robinson, a magazine editor who co-curated an exhibit at the science museum on the history of electronic music since the 1950s.

Paddy Baker, also a magazine editor, who performs with a jazz choir and holds the Guinness world record for being part of the largest coconut orchestra ever assembled.

United by a passion for the press, they are the Headliners.

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Tessa North, a sales assistant with a Master’s degree in creative writing who is currently working on her first science-fiction novel.

Pete Sorel-Cameron, an actor and musician who won the Best International Male award at a South Korean music festival.

Richard Aubrey, a secondary school teacher and keen musician who’s allergic to lions.

All keen instrumentalists, they are the String Section.

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Katie Bateman, a Doctor Who aficionado with a passion for sudoku, dominoes, and darts.

Tristram Cole, an English graduate and keen chess player who keeps a detailed spreadsheet of every book he’s ever read.

Dave Knapp, an ambidextrous civil engineer and keen baker, who enjoys playing medieval strategy board games.

United by a passion for prose, they are the Bookworms.

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Barbara Thomson, a retired NHS secretary who has Interrailed across Europe and enjoys canvas embroidery.

Matt Beatson, an IT consultant and gadget fan who has twice been mistake for Derren Brown.

Gerard Mackay, an accountant with a degree in maths who was named after the racehorse Brigadier Gerard.

United by a weakness for wandering, they are the Wayfarers.

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David Smith, a retired computer analyst who hails from Dublin and is the proud owner of two retired greyhounds.

Sree Kanthamneni, a management consultant and keen chess player who enjoys traveling to historic places, preferably by train.

Bob Thompson, a former printer who collects pocket watches and celebrated his 60th birthday by driving a tram.

United by an interest in railways, they are the Railwaymen.

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Daniel Nazarian, a chartered accountant and keen crossworder with a passion for Persian cuisine.

Anna Kirby-Hall, a theology student and grandmother of three who has seen every Shakespeare play except two.

Elliot Costi, a software engineer and music fan who can’t ride a bike.

Daniel collects number one singles of the 1990s, Elliot has 6000 CDs arranged alphabetically, and Anna owns over a hundred owl figurines: they are the Collectors.

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Chris Beer, an English graduate who enjoys cycling in the Lincolnshire countryside.

Ewan MacAulay, a chemistry student and keen swimmer who can recognize six types of organic solvent by smell alone.

Sam Swift, a policy researcher with an MSc in European politics from UCL who passed his cycling proficiency test on the second attempt.

United by a craving for cocktails, they are the Mixologists.

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Neil Macaskill, a computer programmer raised in Scotland who has worked as a meatpacker, a potato picker, and a whiskey blender.

Paul Philpot, an administrator from Bristol who used to be part of an orchestra where he was required to mime playing the cello.

Andrew Frazer, a Cambridge graduate who now works as the director of an online treasure hunt company.

United by a fistful of dollars, they are the Spaghetti Westerners.

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Jack Johannes Alexander, a maths student and Woody Allen fan, who shared a sweaty handshake with Ed Milliband.

Joe Crowther, a maths and philosophy student with an interest in 1970s Italian cinema

Alasdair Middleton, also a maths student and keen rugby player—unusual combination—with an interest in online gaming.

They’re all at York University - they are the Yorkers.

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Dan Shane, a software engineer who’s making his first TV appearance since his memorably turn on Sky’s Fun Factory at the age of 11.

Lindsay Coo, a university lecturer with a PhD in classics, is the subject of a dedication in a Latin dictionary.

Vicki Sunter, an editor in academic publishing with a degree in linguistics, who enjoys niche historical travel literature.

United by a love of languages, they are the Polyglots.

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Paul Allen, a civil servant with a degree in physics, who ran over a kangaroo while working as an astrophysicist in Australia.

Alex Hill, also a civil servant and statistics graduate, who at the age of 12 came second in the Lancashire Maths Challenge.

Clare Lynch, a third civil servant with an interest in strategy board games, who is the proud owner of over a hundred fridge magnets.

United by an interest in investigation, they are the Operational Researchers.

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Mick Hodgkin, a football fan and journalist who has supplied the voices of Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, and Vladimir Putin in news reports.

John Tozer, a data scientist who was at school with screenwriter Russell T. Davies and noted economist Sir Andrew Dilnot.

Richard Heald, an IT consultant with a degree in maths who has a natural falsetto singing voice and has never owned a wallet.

United by a passion for puzzles, they are the Cluesmiths.