Ridge's Mineblr

adult / he/him / original posts tagged with #birdblab / dream fans dni / survivor of 2018 hermitblr / will occasionally rb ship art if its cute / i don't usually tag reblogs, you've been warned

[netherbrickbird]

So I got this new anime plot. Basically theres this minecraft youtuber except hes got HUGE boobs. I mean some serious honkers. A real set of badonkers. Packin' some dobonhonkeros. MASSIVE dahoonkabankaloos. Big ol tonhongerokoogers.

[netherbrickbird]

What happens next?

This fuckin green guy shows up one day with even BIGGER bonkhonagahoogs. HUMOUNGOUS homgolomgononologongous.

[mawofthemagnetar]

Chapter 27 is up!

It's time to fight. It's time to win.

But the Hermits might be in for a little more than they expected...

Enjoy!

[shepscapades]

[dbhc au flavored] Hermit A Day May '26, Day 19: Etho — Past Life Edition!

I played around with this concept for the doodles I did when Past Life was coming out, but the more I’ve thought about it, I think I’ve decided to stick with this concept! Basically, as the series moved through minecraft editions, the Watchers (i suppose) would try to find the vessels/bodies/etc that were used by each player during each of those respective time periods (meaning the players would change physically as the minecraft version changed in each episode as old versions of themselves were physically grafted onto their current minds/souls). Except, for the androids, the earliest vessels available for the Watchers to snag (for versions up to 1.17, when s8 started) would be their original models. So basically, for most of Past Life, the androids are their normal current selves in mind, but living in the brand new bodies they were made with!

(Hilarious still to me that Past life Ep 7 jumps to 1.18, skipping over the version season 8 would have been in. Close enough, Welcome back Destruction Etho)

[Check out Hadm’s Gamer’s Outreach fundraiser to donate for comms & raffle prizes! :)]

[saphushia]

ok maybe a lil more for @shepscapades ‘s dbhc au. it’s very amusing to me. etho uses his deviancy to be a bit of a menace methinks

[mawofthemagnetar]

If you're still doing prompts, could you do one for zedaph? I'd like to know what he's seeing in that one fic you wrote where everyone's basically seeing their worst nightmare. But if that's too spoilery anything with his death stuff would be awesome!! (like what does he see? What do regular people rank as if the more off hermits set off his death sense, how does his death sense work with players when they have respawn?) I think your concept for him is very cool.

Zedaph is alive.

Of course he is. He’s a human being. A human being who likes to dress up in costumes and wants to implant horns into his skull, but a human being nevertheless. And humans are always alive.

The undead aren’t human. Anymore, that is. Toast isn’t bread, even though it comes from the same bag; it’s the same with the undead. Chuck it in, watch them die, press the lever, and up they pop- defiled corpses with ill-gotten souls wrenched from the hands of the reapers who were snoozing on the job.

When Zedaph looks at Cleo, he sees her in all her glory, yes- a resplendent woman, violently railing against the natural order. But he also sees the shadow she casts; a long trailing stain on the ground she walks. Starlight sparkles in her wake; the spurned stars of the afterlife she crassly cast aside.

Zed wouldn’t dream of reaping her. The longer that black stain grows, the greater pride he takes- he wants to see how long it’ll get. For science.

Mumbo is different. Sickly and lost, it’s obvious that the decay is fresh. Or at least, fresh relative to Cleo. It burns to look at him, to see the ashen face and the gaunt cheeks, to see the obvious symptoms everyone else so blatantly misses. Even Mumbo himself, looking at his reflection in a gold-backed mirror, obliviously convincing himself that silver just doesn’t like him.

Zedaph wouldn’t dream of reaping Mumbo. Not now. Not ever.

But the black stain on the ground grows as he walks, indelible footprints worn into the soil that will never, ever wash out.

Zed’s made a game of counting them. Seeing where Mumbo and Cleo go. It’s fascinating, counting the paths. The thousands of footsteps clustered around their beds, crafting tables, furnaces.

And they’re not alone.

Keralis is on the brink. He dances with his stain, spits on it, laughs at it. Like a child let loose in a marble kitchen with a pack of permanent markers, it’s almost like Keralis knows his stain is there and revels in vandalizing the world around him with it.

He drags it around like a brush loaded with paint- sometimes Zed will find a smiley face sketched into the earth in black, dripping footprints, fading back and forth out of existence. Because Keralis is nothing if not an infuriating fence-rider- his ill-gotten shell trapped on the brink, but the person inside? He’s alive.

And he will never, ever die.

No matter what Zedaph tries to do.

So the sun sets, and he sleeps, and when it rises again, they’ll be there. The stain sinks deeper into the earth, like an oil slick on fertile farmland. The aura of death radiates from them, his mental Geiger counter screeching at the proximity. His fingers itch to summon his scythe from the broom closet it’s been banished to, reeking of Windex and mop water. To swing it, and finally send the three of them to the great beyond.

And he doesn’t.

Because Zedaph is alive.

And what is life if not one long struggle against the reaper?

[shepscapades]

[dbhc au flavored] Hermit A Day May '26, Day 9: Favorite “Event” — Don’t Let It Reach The Heart

HI UH. So I was wracking my brain about what to do for today, because there are just so many good hc moments I could draw dbhc-style, but I realized it could be really fun to redraw a previous dbhc moment? As a sort of, ‘what’s my favorite thing that’s happened in dbhc so far?’ And there were SOOO many good thoughts friends and I came up with while combing back through the au Masterpost, but in the end, I’m just. So so crazy about DLIRTH, the fic I wrote that follows the Destruction Comic series. Something about how Destruction puts these guys in such a vulnerable and desperate position… idk man. It just gets me so bad. They make my tummy hurt. You understand.

[Check out Hadm’s Gamer’s Outreach fundraiser to donate for comms & raffle prizes! :)]

[shepscapades]

eeeeeAeeEEHEHEHE.

[shepscapades]

[dbhc au flavored] Hermit A Day May '26, Day 8: Xisuma!

BEESUMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I speak about him I am in TROUBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Check out Hadm’s Gamer’s Outreach fundraiser to donate for comms & raffle prizes! :)]

[mawofthemagnetar]

Keralis Uses a Lathe and Nothing Else Happens

Happy Keralis day! For those who prefer to read on AO3, here you go:

This fic was inspired by the piece I made for Hermit A Day May’s fundraiser for Gamers for Giving! Think of this as a behind-the-scenes peek at the process of how that box came to be. With extra Hermits of course.

Oh, and for those who prefer to read on Tumblr, it's below the cut!

As Zedaph descended the steps, the first thing he saw was a stream of confetti flying into the air. 

Only- it wasn’t confetti. As he got closer, the confetti resolved itself into wooden shavings, flying up from the corner of Keralis’ small workshop. 

Keralis had a place like this in every base he’d ever built- a tiny concrete room with some windows, a mini fridge, and sawdust everywhere. On his large workbench, a speaker was playing thudding Drum and Bass tunes wirelessly from the man’s comm- scarce heard amidst the screams of machinery. 

Though for the moment, the biggest toolroom loudmouths were silent. Keralis’ tablesaw and ancient bandsaw waited patiently, while the mitre saw on the workbench observed a vow of silence. The jointer and planer had no desire to incriminate themselves, and the shop vac kept mum. 

Instead, the loud screech of spinning metal and wood carving came from Keralis’ lathe. 

He was bent over the ancient contraption- a long benchlike shape of blue paint and cast iron. Spinning away at the business end of the machine was a round chunk of wood, and Keralis hummed and tapped his foot to the beat of the song. 

He was wearing a dust mask, and a face shield- with extra eyeglasses underneath. On noticing Zed, he immediately turned the lathe off, and paused the music. 

“Zee!” Keralis said, lifting his dusty face shield, “what brings you to my shop, hmmm?”

“Oh, nothing,” Zed said, “I’m bored. Tango’s busy, my latest Zedvancement needs a few days in the oven-literally- so I’m just killing time, mostly. What are you doing?”

“I’m making a box!” Keralis said brightly, his eyes shining, “want to watch?”

Zed grinned.

“Sure!”

Keralis gestured at the table. 

“Hoodie off. Dust mask and safety glasses, now. Or no shop for Zee!”

Zed grinned, and rushed over to the workbench to comply. Once he had his hoodie doffed and his PPE donned, he wandered back to the lathe. 

At that moment, Keralis had a big wheel of wood pinched between two metal parts. Zed tilted his head. 

“So what’s that?” Zed said, gesturing at the setup, “what are you doing currently?” 

Keralis beamed. From the slit in his back, a few tendrils everted and gave a happy little flick, before crawling back inside. 

“So,” he gestured, “right now, I am rounding my stock. If you look, it’s not running true. See?”

He dropped his face shield and turned the lathe on. The lathe trembled slightly, and as it spun, parts of the wood looked almost transparent. He turned it off once his demonstration was finished. 

“You’re cutting off the excess so it’s running perfectly circular!” Zed said eagerly, “I get it!”

“Yes,” Keralis beamed, “I have it- what’s called “between centres”. See?”

At the top of the lathe sat a large post where all the mechanical force was projected- below that, in a slim steel cabinet, the motor sat. The wood was pinched between that drive, or the headstock, and a separate hunk of metal that had slid along the tracks to pinch the wood between two points. 

“That’s the tailstock,” Keralis explained, as he gestured to it. He cranked a wheel on the back to extend the tailstock, pinching the wood even tighter. 

“And what wood is that?” Zed asked, and Keralis grinned. 

The wood had the colour of milky tea, a rich creamy tone with lovely striations from the tree’s rings. It didn’t have any visible pores, and Zed could see the play of the colours as Keralis spun the workpiece with his hand. 

“It’s a nice little hunk of maple,” He said with a grin, “And now, we make it round.” 

Keralis reached over to his tool pile, removing a long, spear-shaped tool. It had a huge square bar poking from a turned wooden handle, and the tip had a chunk of rounded metal screwed into it. 

“I use carbides a lot,” Keralis sounded a bit sheepish, “I know they are a bad habit, but sometimes, I’m tired, and I don’t want to struggle too much. You know?” 

Zed nodded, leaning against the workbench.

“Yeah, I get it. Sometimes it’s just easier.” 

“I have others, of course,” Keralis gestured to a bank of other tools hanging on the wall, “but I only use them sparingly. Sometimes I am tired, and I don’t want to fight with them.” 

Zedaph nodded his approval. 

“Well? Show me the magic, Keralis. I’m very interested to see how this all works.” 

His eyes shone with curiosity, and Keralis hit the switch. The lathe roared to life, and Keralis laid the tool on a horizontal rest with a clunk. He carefully pressed the cutting edge to the spinning wood, and ribbons of maple flew away from the wood. The piece rattled as Keralis made coarse cuts, the ancient lathe chattering as it did what it was built to do.  

Once the piece was rounded to his satisfaction, Keralis stopped the lathe and put down the tool, grabbing another- this one with a square tip. 

“Since I’m making a lidded box, we need to cut two tenons,” Keralis said, jabbing the cutter at the edge of the disc. He cut down a small section, smoothing it off, making progressive cuts in sequence until there was a little foot carved into the bottom of the box. He then pulled the tool away, repeating the process on the other side- the one closest to the headstock. 

Zed watched in rapt fascination as Keralis did this. 

“So you round it off, cut the feet, and then…?” He asked, and Keralis just smiled. 

He pulled the switch, and the lathe stopped. 

“Now, we change the headstock,” he said, using a hammer and a ramrod to pop the drive head out of the headstock. He handed it to Zedaph to admire as he placed the wooden piece aside, and screwed a chuck into the headstock. 

“And that’s…oh, I see!” Zed said eagerly, “It’s like a set of jaws, right? You tighten it, and it grips around the feet you cut! Right?” 

Keralis nodded, his eyes sparkling. 

“Yup. Here, I’ll show you…” 

He set the piece in the chuck, using the tailstock to centre it, and tightened it down with a pair of keys. 

Zed scratched his chin as Keralis turned the lathe on, carefully cut a groove with a thin tool, and then stepped forward. 

“What are you doing now?” 

“I’m cutting the lid off,” Keralis said with a grin, “You part it off with this tool, see? I might use a saw, though. This is a big piece of wood.” 

Zed nodded, and an idea wormed its way into his head as Keralis’ parting tool dove deeper into the wood. Piles of sawdust and smoke emerged from the cut, and he tilted his head and started rummaging around in his inventory. There. That thing. Why did he still have that thing? Oh well, not like it was a problem, per se.

“Keralis,” He said, “I had an idea.” 

“Hm?” Keralis pulled away from the lathe, stopping it to see what Zed was waving in his face. 

It was a long beaded bracelet that Zed had never gotten around to finishing- he’d made it with all of their faces woven into it. Keralis’ eyes lit up, and he took it. 

“Zee, this is gorgeous! Where’d you find this?” 

“Hmm? Oh, I made it,” Zed said proudly, “I taught myself to use a beading loom a few weeks back. I got bored of my forty-nine other hobbies and I figured there was room for at least seventeen more.”

Keralis nodded eagerly, reaching out with a tendril to grab another tool from his tool rack. This one had a flat head, and was a steel cutter- unlike the carbides he’d been using earlier.

“I was thinking,” Zed said, “We could- maybe- like, I could sew the ends together while you make the box, and…?” 

“We could put it on as a decoration?” Keralis’ eyes were shining, “Zee, I love it! Yes, let’s do that!” 

“Awesome. I’ll go get the glue,” Zed said, only for an ice-cold tendril tipped with a claw the size of his head to gently rest on his shoulder. 

“Sweetface, no. No glue. We don’t need glue for this. Watch!” 

Keralis turned the lathe on, and carefully cut a small groove with his new tool. He cut it to the width of the beaded band- stopping the lathe frequently to check the width. Then, again, stopping the lathe to wrap the band around to check the diameter. Cut, stop, check. Cut, stop, check. Slowly dialling his way down to the exact diameter to hold the band snugly. 

And once Keralis was happy with the fit, he handed Zed the band and gestured at the workbench. 

“There we go. We don’t need glue. I’ll show you the secret in a sec,” He said, “You tie that off, I’ll just get this lid off and hollow, yes?” 

Zed just nodded, pulling a needle and thread out of his inventory and sitting at the workbench to finish up the band. 

He watched as Keralis cut the top off the box with an ancient handsaw, setting it on the bed of the lathe. He pushed the tailstock out of the way, and then rotated his toolrest so it was covering the exposed front of the piece- the rough, raw maple. 

“Now for the tedious part,” Keralis said with a grin.

He turned the lathe on, grabbed a cup-shaped carbide cutter, and started boring into the depths of the wood. Each pass gouged out huge chunks of maple, and as Zed watched, Keralis slowly scooped out the guts of the box. 

True to his word, it took forever. Which gave Zed plenty of time to focus on his current task, of sewing up the ends of his beaded bracelet. He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to make a friendship bracelet with all their faces on it- especially since by the time he was done, the damn thing was long enough to count as a lanyard. He looped the thread a few more times, weaving it into the beaded ends and cutting the tail off with his teeth. 

When he looked up again, Keralis had the box hollowed, and was cutting an interesting feature. Zed wandered over to see him carve a little lip, inset from the edge of the hollowed area. 

“Oh, that’s where the lid attaches!” he said, eyes shining, “I get it.”

“Yup,” Keralis said, “And once I get this all sanded, then it’s time for the magic. Well…then it’s time to turn the lid, make sure it all fits, THEN time for the magic.” 

With that, Keralis turned on the lathe, grabbed a foam-backed piece of coarse sandpaper, and set to sanding. He sanded and sanded, working his way through progressively finer and finer grits, until the box was gleaming inside and out. 

“I like to take it down to 600 grit,” Keralis said fondly, “Makes it smooth under my fingers, you see?”

Zed reached out to touch, nodding approvingly at the smooth feel of the piece. 

“It really is,” he said approvingly, “now, what’s this magic you wanted to show me?”

“Patience,” Keralis said fondly, “patience, Zee. One more thing we need to do first, and that’s the lid.”

Keralis undid the chuck, and put the lid in using the tenon. He turned on the lathe, carving out the lid with a few deft strokes of the hollowing tool. He stopped periodically to check the fit by stopping the lathe and pressing the finished box against the lid. Finally it fit snugly, and with a touch of sandpaper, the fit was much looser. 

“Any reason you’re making it loose?” Zed asked, looking up from where he was sewing the loose threads into the band. 

“Because,” Keralis said, “Wood moves, yes? And since this wood is all one piece, it can bend and flex as the seasons change. And if I decide to base somewhere wet next season, the wood, she could…” 

He giggled. 

“My wood could swell up,” He said, waggling his eyebrows. 

Zed snorted, and let him work.

Once the lid was sized perfectly, Keralis pulled the lid off the lathe and brought it over to the workbench. 

“Now for the magic!” he said with a smile, and he tore a piece of shop towel off a roll and carefully sandwiched it between the lid and the box.

“...A paper towel?” Zed said, “That’s the magic?”

“It is!” Keralis said, “Because now, I can hold the lid in place in the tailstock, and the piece spins as one, see?” 

He put the piece back in the chuck, using the tailstock to pinch the lid in place, and used the new setup to carefully shave down the lid. Smooth it off, and shape the tenon into a handle to open the box with.

“Now what?” Zed said, wandering back over.

“Now? Now we sand, we finish, and we turn off the tenon on the bottom.” 

Zed nodded, and went back to his sewing. The lathe spun in the background, and he continued sewing, deciding to weave a band of thread around the edges of his beading. It looked rather pretty and added some strength, so Zed decided to keep going with that. It took a little while, and by the time he was done with the band, Keralis was walkind back to the workbench with a finished wooden box. 

“Oh, sorry! I must have missed the last few steps,” Zed said, and Keralis waved a hand. 

“They are boring anyway. Just some sanding, and some fun with a jam chuck. And by fun, I mean fun in the same way that PVP with False is fun. So, not fun at all, and actually very stressful.” 

He shrugged. 

“I’d ask what a jam chuck is, but I’ve decided I don’t want to know the answer,” Zed snorted, and he admired the piece. The lidded box was smooth to the touch, with a narrow handle set into the top and a flat base. The notch carved into the side looked a perfect fit for the band, and the whole thing shone brightly. 

“That’s gorgeous. Is it done?” Zed asked, and Keralis shook his head. 

“No. Two things left. Well…three. But I leave the third as a surprise.” Keralis grinned. 

He took the lid off, flipped the box upside-down, and grabbed a small orange box full of rattling metal, plus a tack hammer. Zed watched as he pulled out a few machinist’s stamps- little metal punches with letters and numbers carved into them. 

Keralis stamped the bottom of the box with a K, and then a 1.

“K1?” 

“Keralis1. For me!” He said, “I sign all my work.” 

Zed nodded approvingly. 

Once the tools were put away, Keralis took another shop towel off the roll, and withdrew an ancient tub of beeswax finish. He swabbed a bit from the bottom of the jar, and started carefully wiping it onto the wood. With each rub, the vibrant colour of the maple exploded out of the dull surface. The wood shone with life, the striations and the chatoyance leaping out of the maple. Keralis rubbed the wax finish in, eyes locked on the job, humming to himself as he worked. The shop smelled faintly of beeswax- a truly delicious smell. 

Finally, he placed the slightly-tacky piece on the workbench, and set about waxing the lid, too. 

Zed, curious, slipped his beaded band over the top of the box, and watched with amazement as it nestled snugly into the groove carved for it. 

A minute later, the lid was done too, and Keralis dropped that on top. 

The two men sat back to admire the piece, soaking in its colours and the pretty beadwork. 

“Wow,” Zed said, “That’s…wow.”

Keralis nodded. 

“And now we have it made. And that’s the fun part done. Now what do we do with it?” he chuckled, “I have too many wooden doodads, Zee. I need to find a use for them…”

“You could give them to me?” Zed said with a sly grin, “I’ll never say no.”

“Hmmm. Well, let me think about that. Yes, of course. I hope you brought a shulker.” Keralis said, eyes shining. 

Silence fell in the workshop, Zed still breathing through his dust mask, and a thought occured to him. 

“Keralis, you said there was a third thing. What was that? A third thing we had to do?”

“Well,” Keralis beamed, “I’m so glad you asked, Zee.” 

He gestured at the lathe. And at the giant pile of sawdust and wood shavings covering the bed, the headstock, the floor, the fatigue matting, the tools, and the wall. 

Wood and sawdust everywhere. All over everything. All over Keralis. All over his tablesaw. The mess was absolutely everywhere.

Then Keralis pointed at the shop vac. 

“Cleanup!” Keralis said, eyes shining, “And since I was your entertainment, I sink it’s only fair if you handle that, hmmm?” 

Zed groaned.

@hermitadaymay

[unfortunatelyshortpeasent]

hey joehills people what does 'thats the joehills difference' mean??

Ive watched a couple streams now hoping to begin to understand but im just more confused. He read a short story about different types of cargo which was fun and also hes building a skeleton made only of one type of bone and im just more confused now

[shepscapades]

[dbhc au flavored] Hermit A Day May '26, Day 3: Vintage Beef!

I’ve doodled Beef’s crazy S8 monster-alien-creature skin a few times here and there, but I thought it would be fun to use hadm as an opportunity to finally sit down and draw and color it all properly! he’s fine and normal btw <3

[Check out Hadm’s Gamer’s Outreach fundraiser to donate for comms and raffle prizes :) ]

[shepscapades]

This got away from me and ended up super long, but here’s my breakdown #mybreakdown :3 A recap and rough analysis of everything that happened during the April fools event! please enjoy my lovingly handcrafted insanity <3 :)

[tobisaurus]

JoeHillsTSD | Hermitcraft | Season 10 Episode 15.

April 16th 2024 - Joe Hills drops "Negotiations with Cub" that ends with the funniest Minecraft death clip I ever saw.

Happy "Joe Hills cannot fly in 3rd person" Day, to those who celebrate!

[spiderziege]

some little guys! for the @hermitadaymay sticker sheet! Go check it out, and make sure to check out the event & the fundraiser in May :]

[thetomorrowshow]

the joe hills difference

[7thblackbird]

I love it when Martyn ITLW looks directly into the camera with the knowledge that whatever just happened is already being clipped and uploaded into tumblr

[7thblackbird]

[bidoofenergy]

same energy

[thecabbagegirl]

Hi friends I need some help. I'm doing an large embroidery quotes sheet for quotes from the hermit craft gamers for giving charity livestream. Please comment/reblog on this post some of your favourite quotes so I can embroider them.

Thank you