Network Rail: We run, look after, and improve Britain's railway

The other blog of @badopenttdideas where I post things unrelated to OpenTTD and sometimes pretend to be Network Rail. He/him. NOT OFFICIAL PLEASE DON'T SUE

[national-rail]

U are queen of everything: where do you put the next crossrail?

london, manchester, glasgow, leeds in any order as part of a rolling scheme which is apparently impossible in this country

[national-rail]

should they make steam trains but nuclear instead of coal for no reason apart from it sounds cool as hell

maybe if we revive oliver bulleid i'm sure he would do it

[british-rail-official]

ticket inspectors will once again not be receiving invites to my birthday party this year. you know what you did

[national-rail]

i think most trains would love a soft fluffy blanket

[network-rail]

[national-rail]

just one more redesign. surely one more redesign will cut costs. surely if we redesigned the railway currently mid construction to be slower it would cut costs right. surely if we alter the specs for the trains we already ordered we'll save money. surely if we downgrade the signalling system and upgrade it later it'll cost less. just one more redesign trust.

[british-rail-official]

in the quiet carriage, no one can hear you scream

[network-rail]

Help we got our HSTs mixed up

[british-rail-official]

Now I hear you with using trains for girls to meet other girls but what trains are good for boys meeting other boys?

[national-rail]

boys go here

in the coach with you

[national-rail]

have you ever licked a train

yes (exterior)

yes (interior)

no

Voting ended onApr 22

[national-rail]

have you ever been licked by a train

yes (exterior)

yes (interior)

no

Voting ended onApr 22

[national-rail]

thoughts on hovercraft travel?

transatlantic hovercraft when

[northern-fail]

That would compete with @network-rail’s transatlantic railway…

[network-rail]

No the option of some sort of watercraft was ruled out (though a transatlantic hovercraft would be very cool)

[national-rail]

me: ugh i'm yearning so much surely there's some stupid post about kissing trains i could make about this angelic class 377 descending above me from the heavens: *crushes me into a fine paste as it crashes into the ground*

[national-rail]

decided this post needed to be made into a visual medium

[british-rail-official]

each time a train is built they smash a bottle of whatever the cheapest pint at spoons is over her (like ships get with champagne). this is for good luck but so far has just led to an understanding that trains don't like beer

[british-rail-official]

really, if you think about it, the modernisation of british rail was perfect actually. this is because it created the class 37.

[british-rail-official]

nonono dont look at all the other things it did those aren't important. stop.

beeching? never heard of em. don't know who you're talking about actually.

[british-rail-official]

Dr Beeching? the physics PHD holder and small arms designer? what could he possibly have to do with the railways.

[national-rail]

station staff don't respond to reports about girls making out with trains it's both normal and allowed

[play-now-my-lord]

ME: hold up. you see that? train's been through here FRIEND: how can you tell ME: tracks. they're not fresh, maybe 60, 80 years old FRIEND: no chance it'll come back, then ME: don't be so sure. That's well within their lifespan... and they're highly territorial

[cosmos-dot-semicolon]

@network-rail

[british-rail]

train

[british-rail]

no actually this post isn't about those

[queer-as-city-folk]

It should never be about those

[british-rail]

not those either

[transgender-europ-express]

i think someone is forgetting about the class 99's

[network-rail]

we have previously established (through a public consultation) that trains cannot float, we do not know why you are trying to use a class 99 (pictured above) as a boat

[british-rail]

train