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What Could've Been

What Could've Been: Stoner!Suguru Geto x Reader

Synopsis: Suguru had been meeting up with you in the dead of night for months now, always seeming to be prepared. His words were warm, his touch gentle, and his heart yours. Years later, you reflect.

song recommendation: Reflections, The Neighborhood

added: I do not own any of the music, art, or characters used other than my interpretation of Y/N!

word count: 3.1k

Tags: MDNI!!! fluff to angst, afab!reader, mentions of weed, smoking, pet names (baby is used like once), slightly suggestive if you squint real hard, semi-established relationship?, tooth rotting fluff to angst that honestly made me cry while i wrote it, all characters at 18 by the start of the fic!

A/N: Thank you anon for sending in this request! I'm sorry it took almost a week (or a little over, oops) for it to come out. Between work and taking care of personal matters, I tried to get this out asap without rushing it and not making it perfect. I'm still not super happy with it, but I figure that's just the writer's anxiety talking. A little note: For the sake of the fic, I messed w the timeline in hidden inventory a little. Suguru and Y/N are both 18, and I wanted the events w HI/PD to still happen, just a little bit later on, like when they’re 19 or something. Enjoy!

~MDNI BELOW THE CUT~

October 10th, 2007

-- “Forest tonight?”

Your phone screen lit up when you flipped it open. You’d been expecting a text from Suguru all day, knowing that he and Satoru would be getting back from a rather long mission. They’d both been gone for a few days, and he’d sent you a few texts throughout the week, either asking about your day, sending a couple of pictures of the areas around him (God forbid he send you a picture of himself), or just letting you know when he could how the mission was going. You didn’t even bother trying to ignore the weird fluttering in your stomach, responding ridiculously fast to his message, a slight smile playing on your lips.

-- “9 pm?”

You didn’t get a text back, but you knew he’d read it. That’s just how he was, how your relationship was. You and Suguru had grown to be comfortable with each other, always seeming to dance around the labels of what you were. You two just clicked, and neither of you ever felt the need to change that.

So, you patiently wait for 9 p.m. to roll around, getting into some comfy clothes and nabbing your pipe, stuffing it in your hoodie pocket and checking the time to make sure you wouldn’t be late. You almost leave before you remember your mp3 player, something that had become a staple in your meet-ups. Grabbing it and sliding your glass door open, you snuck out of the dorms and promptly headed to the edge of Jujutsu Tech’s barrier, where thick forest begins. After nearly fifteen minutes of sneaking around, you follow the path you’ve taken every other day for the past few months and find the boy laying in the grass, hands behind his head and gazing up at the stars. Smiling to yourself, you walked over and bent at the waist, your head coming into view over his own. His eyes focused on you, and his lips curled into a small smile. “Hey, you,” He said, leaning up and pressing his lips against your own. Your stomach fluttered, something you thought you would fade over time, but still happened every time he’d kissed you. He pulled away, and you shifted to sit beside him, pulling your pipe out of your hoodie pocket and handing it to him, almost muscle memory at this point. You grinned at him, bumping your shoulder against his. When you pulled away, he stuck an arm out and pulled you back in, giving you a small squeeze before letting you go.

Your heart squeezed too, and sometimes you’d wondered if he knew what he did to you, the warm smiles and coy words made your heart pound against your ribcage, and the unspoken thing you two had with each other felt almost comforting. Part of you just knew how he felt about you, though it had never been explicitly stated. Somewhere in the past year or so, his fingers lingered a little longer against your palm when he’d reach for your pipe, his smile grew just a little sweeter, and his texts to meet up would happen more frequently.

“What’d I miss?” He asked, a brow raised quizzically at you as he lazily reached into his pocket, pulling out his grinder and twisting it open. You sighed and leaned back to rest your back against the soft grass beneath the two of you, folding your arms over your stomach as you looked up into the night sky. The stars felt like they were shining brighter tonight, the moon illuminating the way Suguru’s locks of ink black hair falling over his shoulders.

“Not much, if I’m being honest,” You commented, crossing your legs at the ankles as the ground beneath you cools your back. “Shoko went through two packs of cigarettes.”

“Oh? It sounds like she was worried about us.” He said, a soft laugh leaving his lips as he packed the bowl, his eyes flitting back to find your face for a moment. “Don’t tell her I said anything.” You grinned at him, nudging his thigh with your knee, earning a small chuckle from him.

“I won’t.” He said with a sly smile, and you can’t help but want him to look at you like that all the time. If there was one way you could describe your relationship with Suguru, it was…confusing. When the two of you were alone, he seemed to devote all of his attention to you, his jokes and questions and comments directed solely on you. But around Satoru or Shoko, it was almost like he was afraid of anyone actually picking up on anything going on between the two of you. He never lied to them or anything; it was nothing like that. But if they’d ask him in front of you what exactly the two of you were, he’d find a way to subtly change the subject, giving you soft glances when they weren’t looking. You were almost positive that they’d already figured out that something was going on, but they never pressed too hard on the subject, so neither of you ever felt the need to talk about it.

A large, warm hand on your thigh brought you out of your thoughts, and you felt that same flutter in your stomach as you looked over to him. He simply gestured with his head for you to sit up, and who were you not to comply? You pushed yourself up and noticed that his hand hadn’t moved from its position on your leg, smiling a bit to yourself. He holds your pipe out to you, and you grab it, getting it comfortable in your grip and reaching into his pocket for his lighter. He always carried one, knowing you’d never been able to remember your own. Reaching up and sparking it, you brought your pipe up to your lips and took a long drag, feeling his eyes on you. Handing it back to him, he grins and his hand leaves your thigh, taking a hit for himself. You fought the urge to yank his hand back down to you, pushing the smoke out of your lungs instead. You’d like to think that after smoking for so long, the scratch at the back of your throat would go away, but you let a small cough slip out anyway, smiling stupidly to yourself as he exhales, turning to face you with a lazy grin. “Masamichi is on to me, I think,” You say, and you feel your limbs start to buzz, your eyes catching his when he says nothing but raises a brow. “I almost ran into him the other night.”

He gave you a look that seemed like it was laced with mild concern, though it doesn’t last for long. “How’d you have any weed?” He asked, though the knowing grin he gave you insinuated that he already knew the answer. “Raided your room, sorry.” You said, though you knew he didn’t care. He let out a small laugh, taking another hit before handing your pipe back to you. “You miss me that much?” He teased, and you didn't answer, bringing the pipe back up to your lips. You knew better than to feed into his taunts, it would only go straight to his head, after all. Instead, you exhaled, the lightness you felt in your head had set in long before that hit. You gave him a coquettish smile, handing the pipe back to him. The rest of the smoke session was spent with you telling the stories of everything he’d missed while he was away, which as you’d said before, was not much. You reached in your pocket at some point, pulling out your mp3 player and offering him one of your earbuds, popping the other in and shuffling your music. When you’d both gone through the bowl, he shook the ashes out on the ground and scuffed a bit of dirt over them, a habit he’d done since the first time you’d both smoked together.

“We’d never hear the end of it from Masamichi if he saw” He’d said, picking up on your quizzical expression. The first time you’d smoked together was interesting to say the least. You remembered the puzzled look that crossed his face when you didn’t even have a grinder, just reaching for some of the bud and pulling it apart with your fingers. He’d gifted you a grinder of your own by the next time you’d met up. He’d always bring his anyway, and yours was hardly ever used after that, only bringing it with you when he wasn’t there, though those sessions were few and far between, he was always prepared anyway.

“Missed you, by the way.” He said, and you find yourself turning your head to find him laying down. You grin and lie down, turning on your stomach and resting your arms on his chest, your head following suit. His arm immediately circled your waist, drawing you closer to him. His hand rubbed your back, and he angled his head to see you better. “Did you?” you asked, leaning forward a bit and slotting your lips against his. He hummed, his arm tightening around you. His other hand slid up into your hair, and his tongue swiped across your bottom lip. You parted them instantly, greeting his warm, soft tongue with your own. Your head buzzed, and for a split second you worried that your mouth was as dry as it felt. As if he heard your thoughts, his grip on the back of your head tightened, his fingers tugging at your hair slightly. “Stop thinking so much.” He mumbled against your lips, and you smiled, slipping your own tongue past his lips and readjusting yourself, hiking a leg over his waist. You thought you could hear a small grunt leave his lips, but at this point you were too high to notice and too caught up in the way his hand flew from your back to grip under your ass to care.

“I missed you too, you know.” You pulled away for a moment, resting your forehead against his. His dark eyes caught yours, and you watched as a grin took over his face, his lips shining with the remnants of your saliva. “I was waiting for you to admit it.” He said, and his eyes glinted in the moonlight. You give a playful swat to his chest, having to strain your arm a little in the position you two were in. He caught your hand, bringing your fingers to his lips and kissing them each. Your heart swelled at how sweet he always got when high. He would always become more touchy-feely, his lips always ending up flush against yours and no air left in your lungs nearly everytime you two smoked together. He bit down on your index finger, bringing you out of your thoughts. “Thought I said to stop thinking so much?” He teases, flipping your hand over to press a kiss to the back of your hand.

“Can’t help it, thinkin’ of you.” You mumble, squeezing the hand that held yours. He smiled softly at you, letting go of your hand to slip his fingers into your hair again. He combed through the strands, resting his hand against the back of your neck. He always loved doing that, you’d noticed. His thumb brushed right behind your ear, and he brought you back in for a soft kiss. “Really?” He mumbled against your lips, huffing a small laugh through his nose. The sound of his phone chiming caused you to jump, and he groaned, flipping it open long enough to hold down the power button, turning it off. “Sorry, meant to turn that off before you got here.” He said, tossing it somewhere near your discarded mp3 player. He’d made it a habit to turn his phone off whenever you met up, claiming it was the only way he could get peace and quiet without hearing Satoru’s spam texts. You smiled, giving him a look which he only responded to with a shrug, flipping you over suddenly to where you rested on your back, eyes wide with surprise. He smirked at you, situated one of his legs between yours and leaning down to smash his lips against yours. You didn't even have time to react before his tongue was pressing past your lips, licking into your mouth with a fervor you hadn’t had a chance to feel just yet this evening. He was expressing how much he’d missed you in his own way, words never really helping him when it came to truly being vulnerable. You sighed, tangling your fingers in his hair and bending your legs at the knee. He groaned into your mouth, his hands seemingly everywhere, gliding along your back, your waist, and settling firmly against your thigh. His bangs tickled your cheeks, his nose bumping against yours as he took the breath out of your lungs. His lips hungrily traveled to your jaw, pressing hot, wet kisses against your jaw, sucking at the sensitive spot on your neck he had grown to know so well, teeth grazing. You gasped, a hand sliding over his shoulder and gripping the back of his shirt. “Baby, slow down..we’ve got all night--”

“Can’t,” He breathed against your collarbone, his hand sliding under your hoodie, a warm palm settling right under the wire of your bra, fingers gripping at the curve of the padding. “Couldn’t stop thinking ‘bout you while I was gone..” His lips were searing, hardly giving you any room to catch your breath as they were back on yours in an instant, sucking at your bottom lip. “You said you missed me too?” He groaned, pulling his tongue out for a moment before you huffed impatiently, chasing his lips with your own. He swallowed the sound greedily, his lips instantly meeting yours again. You nodded frantically, his lips pulling away long enough for your to breathe against his lips. “So much..” You slurred, stomach fluttering when you feel the hand on your thigh tighten, his bruising grip sending your mind swimming even more than it already was.

“You know I love you, right?” He asked, pulling your hoodie up over your bra, and you feel his lips attach to the skin right above it. Your heart soared, and your hands carded through his hair as you took the small time that his lips weren’t on yours to steady your breathing, though his mouth on you didn’t help with that. “I know.” You breathe, your mind muddled as your eyes focus on the stars glimmering in the night sky above you, goosebumps littering your stomach now that it was exposed to the cool night air. He grunted, pulling his face away to look up at you with an unamused expression and you hum, feeling that all-too familiar swell in your heart. “Yeah, yeah, love you too.” You smiled as a sigh left your lips, the stars seeming to shine brighter with him with you.

December 24th, 2010

You don’t remember how you were able to free up your night, only getting back from a mission three hours ago. But, 9 p.m. had come around quicker than you’d expected, and you’d hurried around your small apartment to grab everything you’d need, slipping that same hoodie on and rushing out the door, barely remembering to lock it behind you before you were running to the forest behind Jujutsu Tech. You’re only slightly out of breath when you get to the thick trees, and your eyes settle on that familiar grassy meadow, a weird feeling in your chest. You shake your head, walking past it and through the trail you’d formed that led to the depths within the forest. Walking for what felt like hours, you finally reach your cozy little spot.

Protective wards are plastered all over the trees surrounding the small opening in the woods, and you walk to the center of it, plopping down on the ground with a sigh. Wasting no time, you pull out that same pipe and the grinder he’d given you, packing your bowl quickly, impatiently pulling out some of the stems that seemed to be never ending no matter how many times you picked them out. You reach into your pocket, pulling out his lighter that you couldn’t bring yourself to throw away, using it every time you smoke now. Your thumb sparks the light, and when nothing happens, you spark it again, and again, and again until you huff, letting it fall by your side in defeat. Tears begin to prick behind your eyes, and you frantically try to blink them away, though it’s too late, they’re already falling and you’re sniffling and dumping the weed back in your grinder and shoving your pipe back into your pocket and…why hadn’t you noticed the signs?

The signs that Suguru was slowly losing himself after Satoru almost died, when that fourteen year old they’d been tasked to deliver safely was shot right in front of him, when a sorcerer killer only said he’d spared him because it would’ve been too much of a hassle to deal with the curses that would’ve shown up if he’d killed him. Why hadn’t you picked up missions with him; why hadn’t you realized that he didn’t want to be the strongest, he didn’t want to keep repeating the cycle of exorcising, absorbing, and utilizing countless cursed spirits…he’d just wanted to be safe, to help others, to protect the world from curses? Instead you’d stayed to the side, watching as he’d grown distant, the meet-ups growing to be less and less, and eventually he couldn’t even spare you a glance. You’d watched the downfall of Suguru Geto, and realistically you know now that there was nothing you could’ve done to prevent it, only prolonging the inevitable.

But it hurt too fucking much. You collect yourself, your thoughts, wiping the tears that stained your cheeks and lay down on the ground, the stars in the sky skewed by the thick cypress trees that surrounded you. Yet that feels like it is exactly how it was supposed to be. You can’t imagine what the night would’ve looked like with him by your side, his lips on yours, whispering “I love you’s” like you were still eighteen. So instead, You lay with your hands folded over your stomach, your legs crossed at the ankles, and the silence of the night reminding you that you’d forgotten your mp3 player again as you sit and wish about what could’ve been.

Credits: divider one: celcero (tumblr); divider two: celcero (tumblr); divider three: celcero (tumblr); picture: qweaenr (tumblr, though i found it on pinterest).

As always: I do not consent to ANY form of copying my writing.

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